Families With Grace

Helping Christian moms create homes filled with grace, love & faith

Author: Stacey A. Shannon

Stacey A. Shannon is a freelance journalist and blogger who has been published internationally. She's also a Christian, a wife and a mom of two school-aged children. She started Families with Grace in 2019 to encourage Christian moms as they create homes filled with grace, love and faith. Be sure to get the FREE family devotion book, "Finding Grace at Home: 7 Days of 5 Minute Devotions for Families." It's a great way to help your family draw closer to each other and to God. Motherhood can be lonely. You weren't meant to go on your motherhood journey alone. Connect with Stacey and other Christian moms like you in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace! And check out the books from Stacey A. Shannon as well!

The tediousness of motherhood

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Doing the same tasks over and over can be grating, but is it worth it?

I first wrote this post back in November of 2014 when my daughter was 5 and my son was 1-1/2. When I recently reread it, I was struck anew by it. I am sharing it here with very minor editing. Enjoy!

Sometimes life is tedious. Sometimes motherhood is tedious. I can’t tell you how many times I wash the same dishes, fold the same clothes, put away the same toys, do the same bedtime rituals, prepare the same snacks and read the same books.  

I can’t tell you how many times I vacuum the same carpet, clean off the same countertop, change the same sheets and drive the same route to and from preschool. It’s a lot.  

Being home with two small children is predictably unpredictable. Every day some things are the same. Every day some things are different. It’s tedious. It’s exhausting. It’s consuming. It’s draining. But, is it worth it?

Recognizing the tediousness

I was reheating homemade potato soup for the kids’ dinner last week before we left for the evening to do some work with family. The kids were in the living room playing contently with my husband — a fact for which I was grateful. My toddler is very impatient when it comes to food and likes to orbit around me wailing while I prepare most meals. It’s delightful.  

I had on my favorite Christian station. I’m more a fan of music and less a fan of talk on the radio, but in between songs when my hands were too busy to change the station, the DJ came on. He read a story from “Guideposts” about a man who had worked on Mt. Rushmore who shared how tedious the job was and how he learned that even tedious tasks are important to the big picture.  

The woman interviewing him then related that to her own life and the tedious tasks of raising her sons and all that entailed. However, her sons are now grown and the tediousness is gone; she sits and looks at the grown men she has raised and is proud. The tedious tasks she did for them helped create a wonderful finished product.

The story hit my heart. Tears filled my eyes immediately as I realized I am most definitely in the tedious phase of motherhood. I finished cutting some grapes and buttering some bread and called the kids to the table. As we ate our dinner and chatted, my toddler son had a rough evening. He’s cutting a tooth and he can be quite grumpy about it. He’s also obsessed with raisins and wants them all the time for every meal and really only raisins would be just fine by him. I don’t agree that he can survive solely on raisins, so mealtimes are often a battlefield right now.  

During a very short respite in our dinnertime battles, I sent up a fervent prayer while the message from the radio lingered in my heart, “Lord, please let this all be worth it. Let my children grow up to be awesome people.”

Looking ahead

It’s tedious. It’s hard. It’s all-consuming. I know. I’ve said these things already, but I feel the need to say them again because they are so very true. I’d like to think that it will all be worth it. I don’t think I’d mind a small peek at the future to see my children living their lives as thriving, intelligent, caring and loving adults who I somehow didn’t manage to completely mess up.  

That look at the future isn’t possible, though. So I will just have to keep trusting that every day, every small task I do repeatedly and in the midst of chaos is worth it. I have to remind myself that the more goodness from me and from God that I pour into my children, the more goodness they’ll pour back out into the world. And this world can always use more goodness.

I see glimpses of what the future might look like for my children as they grow up. I’m not sure what their occupations will be. Right now my daughter wants to be a doctor, a paleontologist or an art teacher. Right now what I see in her is a sweet spirit full of encouragement for others. I see in her a great compassion and willingness to love with a big heart. That will serve her well in the future. She will excel at making friends and making people feel valued. She already does.

My son is younger, so I’ve not had as much time to get to know him and he can’t yet communicate to me what he wants to be when he grows up, but I see a tenacity in him. He is determined and won’t give up on something he wants. While that’s frustrating to me while he’s a toddler and what he wants is something that isn’t safe for him, this character trait will serve him well in the future as he pursues his dreams and goals. I see in him an ease to laugh and love. He laughs more easily than any child I’ve been around. I adore it. I hope he always retains that inner joy.

Reminding moms of their importance

Where are you today? Are you with me stuck in the tedious tasks of motherhood that sometimes seem to drain your very life force? Are you wondering if all the hard work will be worth it in the end? Will we one day forget this tedious phase just like we have (mostly) forgotten the pain of childbirth? I think so.  

Of course I don’t have all the answers. My journey is far from complete with my children. We have a long way to go, but I am going to keep pressing forward, putting one foot in front of the other, completing one tedious task after the next because that’s what a long line of moms has done before me and it worked out for them.  

I will also keep moving forward and doing everything I can for my children simply because they need me and I love them in an all-consuming way that keeps me moving even when I’d much rather lie down and sleep for two weeks. Tedious? Yes. Worth it? Definitely!

8 questions to ask yourself before posting about your kids on social media

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Being intentional in what we post on social media about our kids is important

From before they were even born, my kids have had a presence on social media. I shared on Facebook about being pregnant, their gender ahead of time and photos of ultrasounds. I didn’t share their names until they were born, because my husband and I didn’t share names ahead of time with anyone else.

And I’m not alone. Most modern parents share about pregnancy, childbirth and their children on social media. Having a baby and being a parent is a huge part of our lives, so it makes sense that it would come up on social media, which is designed around people sharing what’s going on in their lives.

It doesn’t take long, however, for social media sharing about our kids to get a bit murky. For some moms it can start even before the baby is born when people weigh in on your pregnancy decisions. And then it can creep up when moms post about how they’re feeding the baby or share a photo of the baby in his or her carseat. Someone else has different opinions and feels welcome to share them on social media in a way they probably wouldn’t in real life.

While I’ve learned to filter some of what I post about my kids to avoid dealing with controversy, I’ve also become more and more aware about how what I share about my kids affects them. Some things are OK to share. Other things aren’t.

Asking ourselves a few questions before firing off a post about our kids, even our new babies, is important more than ever as social media continues to grow and expand.

1. How will the post make your child feel if he or she reads it in the future?

I have to start here, because I think this is the most important question to ask before posting something about your child. It may be easy when kids are babies to not even think about them one day reading or being on social media. But the fact is one day they will be. If your kids one day scroll through your old posts, how will they feel about what you’re saying about them and about your feelings as a parent?

The baby days are hard. In fact, I’d say my children’s newborn days were some of the most challenging times of my life, because it’s all encompassing and utterly exhausting. Babies challenge you to the core of yourself and then some. The first baby brings a whole new normal that takes some adjustment.

Posting on Facebook about how awful it is, how irritating your baby or toddler is or even wondering if you should have had kids is not something that your child is going to feel great about reading.

I have a friend who remembers her mother saying that she was so tired after giving birth that she didn’t even want to hold her new baby (my friend). While my friend understood her mom’s feelings, that also smarted.

Parents have a need to vent and need to find support. Doing so openly on social media isn’t the place for it. One of the biggest reasons that’s true is so one day your kids won’t read through posts and think, “Did my mom want me?” “Did she enjoy any of my childhood?” Those are not questions we want our children to ask.

2. Would you share the information with a random stranger?

Of course you have your social media accounts locked down. And you aren’t friending everyone and their brother, but you are still talking to a lot of people who you aren’t close to when you are posting on social media. If you are sharing information that you wouldn’t share with a random stranger, then it might not be social media appropriate.

As a parent, especially during the early years, you deal with all of your child and his or her parts. If you wouldn’t share with a random stranger about what’s going on in your child’s diaper in detail, then don’t share it on social media either.

3. Are you OK with your child knowing this information?

I’m not advocating having secrets from your children, but the fact is there are some things my kids don’t need to know. Right now that’s mostly because of their ages, but there are also other things they don’t need to be reminded of or know about in general.

If I want to share something in any way related to my children or our family then that I don’t want them to know now, then I shouldn’t be posting it on social media — even for the fact that someone might bring up the topic with my kiddos.

4. If your child’s teen peers found the post, how would/could they use it?

Kids can be cruel. And social media has upped that game immensely. I’ve got a whole other blog post coming about our kids using social media, but we have to think about these things as well. A Pew Research Center study shows that 59% of teen boys and 60% of teen girls say they have been cyber-bullied.

While a photo of your toddler sitting on a potty chair might be cute and mark a milestone for them, their peers might use such photo in a cruel way. Take the photo, but don’t post it on social media.

I know there are girls I went to school with who would have jumped on embarrassing photos of me to do things with if they had had access. Fortunately back then those photos only existed in photo albums or my baby book and weren’t readily available online. (My parents also did well at keeping all private areas well covered in photos.)

Aside from photos, sometimes just information can be hurtful and used against your kids. Posts about how they are still wetting the bed at an older age or are scared of the dark as a 12-year-old are just asking for the wrong kid to use that information in a hurtful way. We certainly don’t want to make cyber-bullying easier!

5. Could this post hurt your child’s chance at a scholarship or job?

While you should have your social media accounts well locked down (there is a whole other post about safety on the way), we also need to be aware that the information could somehow get out because breeches happen. And, along with that, 57% employers currently are checking social media accounts of their potential employees. That number will only grow. Posts and photos that you’ve tagged of your children could show up on their accounts.

So a post about how awful your teen is at cleaning their room, being on time or doing homework is probably not in their best interest in the long run. Not only could it hurt their feelings, it could also hurt their chances for success, which isn’t something any parent wants.

6. Could a child predator use this in an unsavory way?

Nobody wants to think about that. In fact, I debated about whether to even include this question, but it’s incredibly important. Unfortunately these things need to be taken into consideration before sharing photos.

And, again, even with having your account locked down, there are still some things that aren’t appropriate to share. Information dealing with a child’s bathing suit area is not OK to share in photographic or verbal form.

Another consideration is oversharing personal information that makes it easy for a child predator to find or engage with your child. While you might have your personal social media account locked down, consider what you are posting on public social media accounts as well. It can be very easy sometimes to piece together information and track down people just by what they post on other pages and accounts.

7. Will the post add pressure to your child to be perfect or brag worthy?

Social media brings the desire for perfection and showing your best face to a whole new level. (Check out my post on how social media impacts moms.) While that’s true for parents, it’s also true for kids. My kids have each told me at different times to take a photo of something they’re doing and share it on Facebook. I usually take the photo, but I don’t always share it. It just depends on what they’re doing.

I try to be real in my social media accounts. I don’t want to show a version of myself that is perfect and certainly doesn’t exist. I don’t want to do the same with my children either. However, that doesn’t mean I have to post all the negative things or all the positive things. I am so proud of my children for so very many things. I brag on them in front of them when I can. I tell them what I’m proud of them for. I encourage them when they are struggling.

But, I never want to put pressure on them to be perfect, because I know they aren’t. That means I don’t want to be posting only big things on social media. I can tell you things about my kids that would impress you, but that’s not what is most important about them. What’s most important is the people they are and how much I love being their mom, even on the hard days. I don’t want them to ever feel I have created a social media image or any image of them that they have to be perfect to live up to.

8. Does the post betray your child’s privacy or trust?

Our kids deserve a right to privacy with us. We should be their safe place they can count on and that means not always sharing everything about them. They have fears, shortcomings and stresses that may seem cute or funny to us at the time, but they are very real to our kiddos whether they are 5 or 15.

We shouldn’t ever share something on social media that our kids wouldn’t want us to. Once they are older, ask them before sharing things that seem even remotely private or personal. Even as babies, be careful to not overshare private information.

We also don’t want to betray their trust by taking to social media to make fun of our kids for something they are doing or struggling with. We have to be careful of poking fun at our children and inadvertently becoming a cyber bully!

This post is part of Families with Grace’s Social Media Savvy series that covers a commonsense approach to handling social media as a parent. Check out these other posts from the series:

4-ingredient whipped pudding pie recipe

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

So many options for such an easy-to-make pie!

A few years ago, a friend shared an easy pudding pie recipe with me and ever since then, it’s been in my rotation of recipes. It works great for a carry-in dinner or even just an easy weeknight dessert.

You can whip up this pudding pie recipe in five minutes and even make it sugar free and low fat and it still tastes good! I actually do make it sugar free and low fat and my whole family loves it.

I used lemon pudding mix most recently, but you can use literally any flavor of pudding mix you want. I’ve made it with butterscotch and cookies-and-cream in the past as well. So many options!

You start with making the instant pudding mix according to the directions on the package, which means whisking the mix with two cups of milk for two minutes. I used sugar-free instant lemon pudding mix and 1% milk for this one. The mixture should start to thicken a bit like so:

Next you pour half of the pudding mixture into a graham cracker crust. You can make your own or buy one. I always use a store bought one, because they are cheaper than if I bought the ingredients myself and they are way easier. (And you could totally swap out for a chocolate graham cracker crust if you think it would be good with your pudding flavor!) I just measure with my eyes to look like it’s half. Basically, it should cover the bottom of the crust and maybe be about an inch thick.

Set the crust aside and gently fold half of the whipped topping into the remaining pudding mix. I used Sugar Free Cool Whip for this time around, but regular works fine as well. Again, I just estimate it so that I use about half of the 8-ounce container for this pudding pie recipe. (Be sure to fold in the whipped topping instead of whisk to keep the mixture light and airy.)

I just plop half the container of whipped topping on top of the pudding mix that is left in the bowl.
The Sugar Free Cool Whip all folded into the pudding mix. I used lemon pudding mix for this one, so the color isn’t dramatically different.

Spread the whipped topping and pudding mixture evenly over the top of the first pudding layer in the crust. It should cover well and come almost to the top of the crust.

Stick the whole pie into the refrigerator for at least an hour to set. It can stay in there longer. Be sure to refrigerate your remaining whipped topping as well, because just before you serve it, you’ll spread it on for a final layer.

It’s so good! The layers aren’t dramatic visually, but they’re there. It is definitely a soft pie, so I usually serve it up in small bowls, but it works on plates as well. Should you end up with any left, be sure to refrigerate it. I know it lasts well for three days, but I’ve never had any left longer than that!

 

4-ingredient whipped pudding pie

Print Recipe

Ingredients
  

  • 1 box instant pudding any flavor and sugar-free works perfectly fine!
  • 2 cups milk
  • 1 graham cracker pie crust
  • 1 8- ounce tub of whipped topping sugar-free works perfectly fine!

Instructions
 

  • Whisk the pudding with the milk, according to the directions on the package.
  • Pour half of the pudding mix into the prepared pie crust.
  • Fold half of the whipped topping into the remaining pudding mix. Pour that mixture over top of the pudding mix in the crust.
  • Refrigerate for an hour.
  • Top with the remaining whipped topping and serve.
  • Refrigerate any leftovers.

Find other easy, no-bake dessert recipes:

Edible chocolate chip cookie dough

Easy mint chocolate chip mousse

The best puppy chow recipe

4-Ingredient Oreo ice cream cake

No-bake butterscotch haystacks recipe

Easy microwave fudge made 5 ways

How to organize your kids’ school work

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Learn what school work to keep and how to easily organize it — no crafting skills required!

Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

When my daughter started nursery school way back in the fall of 2013, I had to figure out what to do with all the school work she brought home. I had to work through mama guilt for tossing out things she had made, but the reality was that I just couldn’t keep everything.

Until then I had either kept things by shoving them into her baby book or file folder in my filing cabinet. Sometimes I took photographs of art projects from story time or church or home and then tossed them. Deciding what to keep and what to toss was a challenge.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out that I needed both a policy and a system for school work. While I wanted to say I’d just toss everything for the sake of being organized, I also knew that one day I’d regret it because she was going to grow up faster than I wanted and it would be fun to look back one of these days.

But, I was also a busy mom with a new baby and a preschooler and don’t have a bit of craftiness in me. Scrapbooks weren’t going to be my solution. I already did family photo albums for each year and that was as crafty as I got (still is!). Then I stumbled upon a school work file idea I fell in love with.

I was on Pinterest when I first saw something similar and knew that it would work well for our family and help with all of the paper clutter and artwork that I wanted to keep for posterity. I made a trip to the office supply store for a few supplies and thus we began our memory files for each child.

What you need

You’ll need one hanging file folder box per child, hanging file folders and their labels. I planned one folder per grade. For my kids, who each went through two years of nursery school, I have 14 file folders each. Depending on how you do it, you may also need one additional file folder per child.

To put our kids’ names on their file boxes for school work, we used white Gorilla tape and a black Sharpie. (I love they make ones that are retractable so you don’t have to keep track of the lid!)

And that’s it as far as supplies go. See? Easy-peasy! You don’t need tools, hot glue guns or crafty skills!

How to set it up

Label a hanging file folder box for each child with their name on the outside. Then label file folders for whatever grade level you are covering. You can do them all at once or one at a time. I do one at a time, mostly because that’s how my brain works! I put the kiddo’s name, grade and school year.

And then simply fill the folder throughout the school year with the papers you want to keep.

Starting this year, I have a file folder for each kiddo in my filing cabinet that I put school work in for the year and will then transfer them into their file box. I’ve found it’s easier for me to stick them in the filing cabinet I am always using rather than pulling out the file boxes and adding the papers in there as we go. You can definitely do it however works best for you!

The file boxes include things from preschool (and before) through their grades of kindergarten and third grade last school year. Based on my daughter’s box on the right, we may need to do two boxes per kiddo.
My daughter’s box is most full because she is oldest.

What to keep

Deciding what to keep is a challenge for sure. Here are some of the things I’ve put in the folders. Each year on the first day of school, I make a mock magazine cover for my kids that includes things like their shoe size, grade, teacher’s name, favorite things and what they want to be when they grow up. I print that out and stick it in the file.

I also use the file folder to put in leftover school photo prints and class photos. My kids go to a K-12 school, so they have a good chance of having many of their classmates in their graduating class that they did in their kindergarten class. I like the idea that one day we can look back at all the years together with these same friends.

Special art projects are something else that I keep. I like things that have handprints or fingerprints or that the kids have spent a good amount of time on. If they are large, then I do fold them down to fit into the file folder.

I keep teacher evaluations and sometimes test scores as well. Usually whatever paperwork comes home with us from parent/teacher conferences I put into the folder for them. It is neat to look back and see how they have progressed and learned through the years.

Writing projects are something else that I hang onto. From kindergarten on, my kids have had a journal they kept at school. They can include both fiction and nonfiction writing. I really enjoy these most, probably because I am a writer! But, they are definitely something I want to hang onto.

I usually keep school work or projects my kids do about themselves or things they like. The first of the school year tends to be a time they do these things and it’s always so neat to see what they have to say about what they like and who they are.

If there is anything not school related that I want to keep, I put those in the folder as well. This has included Sunday School papers or projects and programs from special events (like when they are in a school play).

The extras

And then there are some things that are too big for file folders. I could probably get a separate container for them and may do so one day, but for now, I stick them down inside the hanging file folder box. This includes their baby books, which have many of their doctor papers in them from their baby days as well as their immunization records.

I also kept journals throughout my pregnancy with each of them and put those in the file boxes as well. You can definitely include whatever keepsakes you want to hang onto and will fit in the file box.

5 simple kids’ birthday traditions to make your kiddos feel special

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Kids’ birthday traditions make for some great memories!

Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

I am not a crafty type mom. I’m not an over-the-top kind of mom. I don’t throw birthday bashes for hundreds of people that cost thousands of dollars. (I’m not sure that actually happens outside of television shows!) But, I do like having kids’ birthday traditions to make my kiddos feel special on their big day. 

I remember back to my own childhood and how much I loved celebrating my birthday. There is something special about the people around you all stopping to celebrate you — and I say that as an introverted shy person! I also think of my current birthdays. Somewhere along the way, though, birthdays lose some of their magic. 

As an adult, I’ve found birthdays to be bittersweet less because I’m aging but more because there are folks missing from my celebration and because life can be challenging, even on your birthday!

I know that birthdays will change for my children as they age, so before that happens, I want to celebrate and embrace their birthdays — and them. 

In the 10 years since my husband and I became parents, we’ve developed some kids’ birthday traditions make our kids feel special. My goal with traditions is to keep them simple so they are doable from one year to the next, even if life gets super crazy.

1. Hang birthday balloons from their bedroom doorway.

On the night before the kiddo’s birthday, we hang balloons from their doorway with crepe paper after they go to bed. This is a super easy tradition that my kids love and look forward to each year. They run back and forth through the balloons and crepe paper and usually leave them up for a week or so.

Hanging balloons from the kiddos’ doorways is one of our favorite kids’ birthday traditions.

2. Wake them with a song.

On the morning of their birthday, we wake them up by going into their room singing, “Happy Birthday.” I always video record this, and it’s fun to go back and see them from the time they were in their cribs on their first birthdays until now.

My daughter was born in the morning, so we usually go in there a little earlier than necessary for a school morning and then count down to 6:36 a.m. when she officially becomes another year older.

3. Let the birthday kid pick dinner.

I love food, so this one comes natural to me. Another kids’ birthday tradition we have is letting the birthday kiddo decide what we have for dinner. They can pick somewhere to go or something for me to make. So far, they’ve always chosen eating out, and I’m fine with that. This year, my daughter picked Chinese food and wanted to get it takeout to eat at home. She is so my kid!

4. Read a special book together.

We continue to read together at bedtime every night, but on birthday nights, I have a favorite book. We read “On the Night You Were Born” by Nancy Tillman. It’s a great book that celebrates life. I always get choked up throughout it, but I love reading it with them each birthday.

5. Pray over them out loud.

Usually at bedtime, our children pray out loud. Their dad and I don’t usually pray out loud with them at that time. On their birthdays, though, I always jump in after they finish their prayer and add one of my own thanking God for the blessing of the kiddo and asking Him to be with them as they grow and so on.

Of course we do other typical kids’ birthday traditions, too. The kiddos have presents to open. We have a sweet treat, which isn’t always cake. I love cake and ice cream, but my oldest doesn’t so much. So this year, for example, we had Oreo ice cream cake with her friends and brownie sundaes with her grandparents.

Kids’ birthday traditions really do make some great memories. Sure the kids know some of what to expect, but I think that anticipation makes it even more exciting.

What birthday traditions does your family have?

Looking for ideas on what to bake for birthdays? Check out these recipes!

20 Motivational quotes for kids

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Inspirational quotes for kids in school

I love encouraging and uplifting quotes. Recently, I also love motivational quotes for kids that I can send in their lunchboxes.

Each Monday I send a “Monday Motivation” quote for my kids’ lunchbox notes. These are short, inspirational quotes for kids in school from mom — a.k.a me!

You can use these quotes for your own lunchbox notes or however works best for inspiring your children!

Short motivational quotes for kids

“Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.” — Maya Angelou

Motivational quotes for kids

“People see God every day; they just don’t recognize Him.” — Pearl Bailey

Motivational quotes for kids

“No one is perfect — that’s why pencils have erasers.” — Wolfgang Reibe

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Motivational quotes for kids

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” — Dolly Parton

Motivational quotes for kids

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.” — Confucius

Motivational quotes for kids

“Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.” — Albert Einstein

Motivational quotes for kids

“Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.” — Albert Einstein

Motivational quotes for kids

“Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.” — Randy Pausch

Motivational quotes for kids

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” – Mr. Fred Rogers

Motivational quotes for kids

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” — Theodore Roosevelt

Motivational quotes for kids

“Be silly. Be honest. Be Kind.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Motivational quotes for kids

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Motivational Quotes for kids

“God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.” — Augustine

Motivational quotes for kids

“Don’t just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it.” — Jim Rohn

Motivational quotes for kids

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Motivational quotes for kids

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matter.” — Epictetus

Motivational quotes for kids

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop

Motivational quotes for kids

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde

Motivational quotes for kids

“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

Motivational quotes for kids

Keeping the faith in yourself

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

How to maintain your confidence when life goes sideways

About three years ago, I met some friends from college for lunch. All four of us knew each other when we were young adults ready to make our mark on the world. We each went on to get post-graduate degrees in our fields.

In the time since college, we also each started families and made lives for ourselves. While we had kept in touch in various ways and levels since college, this lunch was one of the first times we had all four been together in quite a few years.

As we chatted and ate pasta, we talked about what was going on in our lives. At the time, my youngest was a preschooler who was only away from me for a couple of hours three times a week. I was also dealing with an ongoing health flare. As the conversation turned to professional endeavors, I didn’t have much to add.

The other three ladies all worked full-time outside the home. They were all making their marks in their fields. I, on the other hand, spent maybe 40 hours a YEAR working as a freelance journalist. Having babies and having health problems had made my career take a definite break.

While my friends weren’t dismissive of me in any way, shape or form and while we had plenty of other conversation that I was very engaged in, I still left the meeting feeling like a failure. I remember pulling out of the parking lot, calling my husband and talking to him about it.

He was incredibly encouraging and gave me a much needed reality check. He reminded me that often I was over-sensitive to being left out and chances are I had perceived part of our lunch conversation as me being left out. He wasn’t wrong.

And we also talked about how I was doing what was best for our family and for me. Basically, he reminded me that I’m way more than my career or lack thereof. He continued and talked me down from thinking since I was having a health flare that it would always be that way. (He is such a good and patient man!)

I’d like to say that I never had those same feelings again or even that I hadn’t had them before, but I’d be lying! I have felt insecure in my identity more times than I could ever begin to count. If I was really honest with myself, I’ve probably felt insecure with who I am more than I have felt secure with who I am!

I’m pretty great at being awkward and unsure of myself. As I’ve gotten back to work more since my son started kindergarten last year, I’ve struggled to find my mojo and confidence again. I’ve had to sit and intentionally think about how I would describe my job to other people. I’m still working on it!

Along the way, though, I’ve learned a few things when I start to get down on myself and berate myself for all the things I should be doing or should have accomplished and haven’t. And, I can promise you that I am still working on this very strongly.

1. Know where you identity truly comes from.

For a few years, I have been reminding my children when they get frustrated with themselves that God doesn’t make junk. And since He made them, they aren’t junk. While my lips have been saying that for years, my head just got the message in the last couple of years. One day it hit me that what I was saying to my children is true for them AND for me.

God doesn’t make junk. So whatever failure I perceive myself as having or whatever issue I have, I’m still not junk. I am still worthy. I have worth just for being one of God’s creations.

It sounds so simple, yet it is also so profound. You have worth simply because of Who made you. People pay huge amounts of money for artwork because it was made by a master artist. And none of those artists hold a candle to the true Master Artist. His creations are priceless, and we are His most prized creations.

The Bible tells us that before we were even in our mother’s womb God knew us and had a plan for us (Jeremiah 1:5). His plan for us has nothing to do with our worldly success. It doesn’t have anything to do with how much money we make, how many degrees we have or what profession we are in. His plan has everything to do with us and who we are.

I have also learned that when I keep my focus on Him and doing what He has called me to do then I don’t care so much about the identity I have in the world. I can get sidetracked and distracted, but when I take time to talk to God about it and focus on Him, I gain perspective. Because the little stuff really doesn’t matter so much when I remember Whose I am.

2. Grieve for what wasn’t.

The plan I had for my life when I was 18 looked different than the reality of my life now that I’m 40. Some things are as expected: I married my high school sweetheart, have two kiddos and have a job as a writer. None of those things happened how I thought they would and a whole slew of other things didn’t happen at all.

When I graduated with my master’s degree in journalism, I was ready to get a job with a magazine and work full-time for a few years until we were ready to start our family. I felt that God had led me to go into journalism, so this was the plan. I never anticipated He’d have a different plan for me.

A few months before the end of graduate school, a bladder condition I thought had gone away for good turned out to only be in remission. It hit me hard. I couldn’t have held down a full-time job even if I had gotten one. I had to let go of the dreams I had and grieve for them before I could truly embrace the new path I was on and be able to move forward.

Sometimes life goes completely different than what we though it would — whether by our choices, someone else’s choice or just randomness. It’s OK to acknowledge the hurt of lost dreams. It’s OK to grieve for what isn’t to be.

3. Accept that life isn’t like you planned.

Just like with any kind of grief, in order to move forward, you have to accept the loss. It’s not easy and it can take different amounts of time, but at some point you have to acknowledge that life didn’t turn out how you planned. You aren’t doing what you thought you’d be doing. And then be OK enough with it to move on.

One of the things we talk about in the chronic illness world is a “new normal.” When life doesn’t go like you plan, you get a new normal. What you thought was reality has shifted and you have to shift with it until it becomes your normal. Sometimes new normals are crummy. Other times, new normals end up being blessings. Either way, when life shifts, you have to also or you’ll be miserable.

Along with accepting life isn’t like you planned, you have to also let go of unrealistic expectations and adjust those as well. Chronic illness has also taught me a lot about this as well. I have expectations for what I can and should be able to do. My body doesn’t always agree, and I have learned to accept that. Because if I don’t accept it, then I get angry, frustrated and sad. And that doesn’t help anybody.

4. Acknowledge your accomplishments.

When we feel insecure about who we are (preaching to myself here!), we start focusing on where we fall short and where we are failing or not doing what we thought we would be doing or what we think we should be doing. None of those things are good for our mental health!

Of course, you should assess if you can make changes for the better, but also don’t get so focused on what you perceive as wrong that you miss the good stuff. That day I left my friends from lunch, I ran an errand and then went back home to be with my kiddos. They couldn’t have cared less what my professional career was doing. They weren’t bothered that my health made us doing things like going on family bike rides impossible. They just cared that I was there, that I was loving them and that I was meeting their needs.

Those are big accomplishments. I’ve learned that in times when I can’t do even basic things that I need to appreciate when I can. I’ve also learned that my true accomplishments have nothing to do with what I do professionally and everything to do with honoring God in whatever it is I’m doing (Colossians 3:23).

The people around you may not understand the changes going on in your life. They may not see all of your accomplishments that really matter. Yet, you need to acknowledge them. You aren’t a failure. You are doing what God made you to do, even if it looks different than what you thought you would or different than what the world defines as success.

I challenge you to sit down and think of five things you’ve accomplished each week. I’d bet you can come up with more than that. Include everything from finishing the laundry to feeding the kids to finishing a new project for work to making an overdue doctor’s appointment.

5. Give yourself grace.

Think about what you would say to a friend of yours going through the same scenario. Would you beat her up and point out her faults? Would you remind her that while everyone else was working to get ahead in their careers she was at home changing diapers? Would you point out that she is doing work that she didn’t even get a degree in and that doesn’t make sense?

No. You’d encourage her. You’d reassure her that she was doing what God was leading her to do. You’d remind her that her identity doesn’t come from her work or bank account or health or whatever she is struggling with. You’d point out the things she’s accomplished that really matter. You’d give her grace and compassion.

Do the same for yourself. You’re not going to get it right every moment of every day. You’re still going to have times you get frustrated and want to give up because everything is sideways. Don’t beat yourself up for those feelings. Feel them. Deal with them. Then move on from them.

Not a one of us is perfect. None of us get it right all the time or always have it together no matter how it may look to the outside world. Inside, every person is struggling with some kind of insecurity and some kind of shift in how they thought life would be. We all need grace for each other and for ourselves.

Social media savvy series

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

A commonsense approach to handling social media as a parent

Social media is everywhere. According to Pew Research Center, 72% of Americans use some type of social media in 2019. Even more remarkable is that number was only 5% in 2005!

To say that social media has grown by leaps and bounds is an understatement. And my generation of parents is the first to deal with social media from the time our babies were first starting to grow in our bellies and onward.

Social media is its own beast to conquer as a parent guiding our children. It has become so prevalent in our culture that even toddlers will reference posting something on Facebook, Instagram or YouTube. I’d daresay my kids’ generation should be rightly called the YouTube generation for their love of it!

While many parenting decisions lend themselves to looking at those who have gone before us and how they handled things, social media doesn’t fall into that category. I can’t tell you how my parents handled social media with me as a child, because social media wasn’t around. We are blazing a parenting trail and we need to be aware of where the trail is leading.

I don’t think social media is a big, bad evil. I use social media for my work, for my blog and for my personal life. But I do think it needs to be approached with caution and practicality. While we may fire off a post without thinking or upload a picture without a second thought, we need to be a bit more intentional.

What is coming on the blog

With all of that in mind, over the next couple of months, we are going to explore a few different topics relating to social media and parenting:

How social media impacts moms

What we should (and shouldn’t) post

How to keep our kids safe on social media

When to let kids on social media

How social media affects our kids

How you can get involved

Because we are all in this together, I’d love to hear from you about your experiences with social media and parenting. Whether you’ve done something that worked or something that failed, I’d love to hear from you to potentially incorporate your experiences into the series. I’m happy to use a pseudonym if you prefer.

You can contact me by clicking the “Contact” tab at the top of each page or by sending me a direct message through the Families with Grace Facebook page.

And if you are a fellow blogger who is interested in writing a guest post on any of the above topics (or have an additional idea that is related), please contact me as well. I’m happy to chat about how you can get involved with the series and link to your own blog.

BLT Pizza

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

This easy recipe is a hit for an appetizer or for dinner!

Affiliate links are used in this post; if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Not only is this BLT pizza perfect for an appetizer, dinner or carry-in, it's also easy to make and delicious! You've got to try it! #Bacon #BLT #BLTPizza #Recipe #EasyRecipe

If you know anything about me from the recipes I share on here, you know I like recipes that are easy and go over well with my family. I first came across this recipe for BLT pizza years ago.

I’ve put my own twist on it, and it has recently made a comeback in our house. BLT pizza is great for busy nights when you don’t have a lot of time and don’t want to make a mess of your kitchen.

Also, it combines both bacon and pizza. I’m not sure it gets much better than that!

Look at all that yumminess!

In order to make my life easier, I use some easy ingredients like precooked bacon and pre-shredded lettuce for this BLT pizza. You can most definitely fry your own bacon and shred your own lettuce to make this recipe. I’m just sharing it the way I make it.

This BLT pizza recipe can also be halved if you’re just serving a couple of people or using it as an appetizer. I’m giving you the recipe as I make it now, which feeds my entire family of two adults and two children for dinner.

Using some pre-made ingredients plus parchment paper ensure BLT Pizza is easy to make and clean up!

Start with preheating your oven according to the directions on the crescent rolls. Then open the two cans of crescent rolls and spread them out into one large rectangle onto a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper.

(For years I have used the Air Bake cookie sheets from T-Fal. They are hands-down my favorites for baking cookies and anything else I need a cookie sheet for!)

The parchment paper is not completely necessary, but it makes cooling and cutting it later easier. And it definitely also makes clean-up way easier!

You could probably use a rolling pin to get the dough rolled more smoothly and all creases gone, but they don’t show once the food is made, so I just use my clean fingers to smoosh them all together to look like this:

Once the oven is preheated, put the crescent roll crust into the oven and set the timer. I start with the suggested time on the package and check it. I’ve found that it tends to need a few extra minutes to get nice and brown all the way through. (It could be my oven.) You want it to be this color when it comes out:

While the crescent crust is baking about (10-14 minutes for me), I make the precooked bacon in the microwave. I usually cook it longer on a lower percentage of cook power in order to help it get super crispy. It needs time to cool off before you break it up, so do this as soon as you can.

Also while the crust is baking, prepare your other ingredients. If you need to shred or tear up your lettuce, do that now as well.

Once the crust is finished cooking, pull it out of the oven and let it set for about 3-5 minutes. Then, gently slide your parchment paper onto a large cutting board. I love the flexible cutting mats best for their size, ease of use and ease of fitting in my dishwasher and kitchen cabinets! (Also, for $6.99, you can get three!)

When the crust is not piping hot, put the mayonnaise and honey mustard on the top of it. You can measure this out with the measurements below or just squirt it on well enough to cover the dough. If you like lots, put on extra. If you like less, put on less. It’s all about preference!

I drizzle it on like this:

Then I use a spatula and smear it around like this:

The honey mustard gives the mayo a little extra tanginess that works really well with these flavors. In fact, I use it like that on my turkey sandwiches for the same reason!

Once the mayo layer is finished, spread the shredded lettuce over the top. Then add the shredded cheese. While all of these things can be measured, I really don’t measure them. (And I’m a big believer in measuring things when I cook; this recipe just doesn’t need much measuring!)

I crumble the crispy bacon on top of that. If you notice, my BLT pizza is minus the “T.” My husband and son don’t like tomatoes; my daughter and I do. I don’t always have tomatoes on hand when I make this, but when I do, I dice them up and put them on the side. Then my daughter and I can add tomatoes on our own pieces. Easy peasy! Chopped green onions also work well on this pizza, but I almost never have those on hand, so I don’t usually use them.

Since your pizza is already on the cutting board, it’s easy to slice through it with a pizza cutter then serve and enjoy! (My husband loves a pizza blade while I usually prefer a roller-style pizza cutter, so we have both!) The nice thing with this pizza is that it’s good at room temperature or cold.

It’s so yummy! For us, it’s usually our main dish. I pair it with some chips and fresh veggies. Delicious!

BLT Pizza

Print Recipe

Ingredients
  

  • 2 cans crescent rolls
  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/4 cup honey mustard
  • 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1-1/2 cups shredded lettuce
  • 6 to 8 slices of bacon cooked and crumbled
  • Diced tomato

Instructions
 

  • Preheat the oven according to the temperature directions on the crescent roll packages.
  • Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, if desired. (The parchment paper will make it easier to clean up and to cut when it's completed, but it isn't necessary.)
  • Open the crescent rolls and spread them out onto the cookie sheet. Use your fingers or rolling pin to press the seams together and make one large sheet of crescent roll dough.
  • Bake the crescent roll dough in the oven according to the directions on the packages or until light golden brown. (Usually it takes mine a few extra minutes than what the packages say, but I always check them at the package time to be sure.)
  • While the dough is baking, prepare your bacon by cooking it until nice and crispy.
  • Shred your lettuce if it isn't already.
  • When the crescent crust is finished baking, remove it from the oven and let it cool on the pan for 3 to 5 minutes. After that, gently pull it on the parchment paper over to a flat cutting board.
  • Spread the mayonnaise and honey mustard evenly over the crust. (Use more or less to your own taste.)
  • Top with the shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, crumbled bacon and diced tomato.
  • Use a pizza cutter to cut into slices and serve.

Join the Families with Grace Acts of Grace challenge and receive a FREE devotion book today! In just a few minutes each day for seven days, you can focus on what giving grace looks like and how to put that grace into action.

Easy pizza sub recipe your whole family will love!

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

These toasted pizza subs are easy to make and customize for your family

Affiliate links are used in this post; if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

I love recipes that are easy to make and please my whole family; this pizza sub recipe does just that.

Easy pizza sub recipe

Both my son and husband love anything pizza. I mean, I do, too. What’s not to love? The sauce. The cheese. The toppings. The crust. Mmmm. However, we like to shake things up, and this pizza sub recipe is great for that. Plus it’s easy, which makes it even better!

My mom first got this recipe from another mom when I was a teenager. She made the pizza subs with pizza sauce, shaved ham and cheese. They were delicious!

My husband and son, who are particular eaters, don’t eat ham, so I tend to go a bit more traditional pizza toppings with our pizza subs. However, they are completely customizable to what your family likes and even what individual members of your family like.

In fact, when I make this pizza sub recipe, I make each one slightly different for each person in my family!

Look at that yummy pizza goodness!

The first thing that a good sub needs is toasted, crunchy bread. So I toast the bread before I put on toppings. I used to toast by spraying it with margarine spray or brushing melted margarine or butter on the bread. Now I just use some non-stick cooking spray spritzed on the top of the bread.

After setting my oven to 450-degrees, I open up the sub buns onto a cookie sheet covered with my beloved Reynolds Non-stick Aluminum foil, which makes clean up so much easier. Then I spritz them generously with non-stick cooking spray.

The buns then go into the preheated oven for about 5 minutes. Keep check on them to make sure they don’t get too done. You want them to be lightly browned around the edges. Once they are, then pull them out and add the toppings, starting with pizza sauce.

Next up add your toppings. I usually put a bit of Parmesan cheese on top of the sauce then add Italian blend or mozzarella cheese. My husband doesn’t like much cheese on his, so I go light cheese for him. My kids are sort of average on cheese, and I love it, so I cheese up the bread accordingly.

Then go the other toppings. For my guys, that means pepperoni. This time around I added some diced onion to my husband’s pizza subs as well. My daughter doesn’t like pepperoni so much so I thawed a small amount of cooked, chopped hamburger for hers and also added diced onion. I like all of the above, so I did some pepperoni, a small amount of hamburger and onion on my own.

But, you can totally use whatever pizza toppings you and your family like best: green peppers, mushrooms, sausage, bacon, ham, pineapple, chicken, etc. You could even switch up the sauce and use barbeque sauce or ranch dressing.

After the toppings are on, the pizza subs go back into the hot oven for about 8 to 10 minutes until the cheese is melted. Sometimes for the last minute or two, I turn the broiler on low to get them good and toasting on top, but the pizza sub recipe works just fine without using the broiler as well.

Pull them out of the oven and serve them up! I usually put my pizza sub together like a sandwich while my husband eats his in open-faced sandwich style. Either way works!

Pizza subs

Print Recipe

Ingredients
  

  • Sub buns
  • Non-stick cooking spray
  • Pizza sauce jarred or your own; I use jarred
  • Italian blend or mozzarella shredded cheese
  • Pepperoni shaved ham, hamburger, onions, green peppers, mushrooms — whatever you like on pizza

Instructions
 

  • Preheat the oven to 450-degrees.
  • Split the sub buns in half and place them on a cookie sheet. (I line mine with Reynold's non-stick aluminum foil to make clean up easier because I always spill cheese onto the pan.)
  • Spray the top of the sub buns generously with non-stick cookings spray.
  • Stick the buns into the preheated oven for about five minutes. The bread should just be starting to be lightly golden around the edges and feel lightly toasted to the touch.
  • Cover with pizza sauce, cheese and desired toppings.
  • Put the subs back in the hot oven for 8 to 10 minutes until the cheese is melted. (Sometimes for the last minute or two, I turn the broiler on low to get them good and toasting on top, but the recipe works just fine without using the broiler as well.)
  • Serve as an open-faced or closed sandwich.

Join the Families with Grace Acts of Grace challenge and receive a FREE devotion book today! In just a few minutes each day for seven days, you can focus on what giving grace looks like and how to put that grace into action.

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