Profiles of moms making a difference

Connecting with other Christian moms blesses and encourages me. I love the Moms on a Mission series in part for this reason! We are all doing different things but with the similar goal of honoring God.

Mari Hernandez-Tuten is one such mom. She’s a fellow faith blogger over at Inspired by Family and has a similar mission to Families with Grace.

I’ve recently gotten to know Mari better in working with her and some other faith bloggers to put together a virtual, DIY Summer Camp at Home about character for kids. The camp includes seven days worth of great (free!) resources to teach kids how to be kind, obedient, honest, content, respectful, faithful and generous.

(I’ve got a list of fun ways to teach your kids about obedience going live on June 12. Don’t miss it!)

Mari’s passion leaps off the screen. She’s the mom of three boys and wife of her first boyfriend who spent nearly a decade on the mission field in South America. Mari ministers through her writing, speaking, counseling and more. Her testimony will inspire you to continue on in your own God-given passion!

Families with Grace: What is your God-given mission or passion?

Mari Hernandez-Tuten: I’m one of those eclectic people who feels passionate about many things. I truly enjoy serving others, hospitality, friendships, family, art and community. 

I love encouraging women to find hope and truth in their motherhood through God’s word. And that’s how I ended up writing a blog about family, faith and fun because I couldn’t imagine only writing about fun activities, but I also wanted to share my faith and encourage mothers on this journey of parenting. 

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

MHT: My background is in counseling and family life coaching. So I have the joy of speaking and teaching workshops to encourage parents and women. 

I’m also currently working with a publisher on a Bible study for women on Proverbs 31. 

These things I just mentioned are great opportunities, but I get to do what I am most passionate about here in my home and community. I feel it’s important to not just be an encouraging online presence but to do life side-by-side with others in my home and in my community.

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

MHT: One of my challenges in living out my mission would be what I just shared above–I am passionate about a lot of things. I’m a visionary and leader so I’m constantly coming up with new ideas and finding ways to make it happen, which can be overwhelming. Another one would be fear. I use to be fearless, but the older I get the more I let fear keep me from doing things for God.

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

MHT: My biggest blessing from living out my mission is that my children get to witness God working through me and in me as countless women from all walks of life and ages share their lives, laughter and tears with me over a cup of tea at my dinner table. 

FWG: How do you balance motherhood responsibilities with your work/mission?

Early on in motherhood, I had a monumental moment that changed the course of my life. I talk about it here. It was a time when God opened my eyes and heart to see “God’s glory discovers us where we are.” In the menial tasks, in the everyday moments of life, He can use us. Throughout scripture you see Him come face-to-face with women in the midst of the everyday tasks of life. 

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

MHT: I love how God meets us where we are—while changing diapers, in the carpool line, on the way to work, while playing old maid for the 100th time with your preschooler…

One of the many divine encounters that have profoundly impacted me from the Bible was that of Jacob. God met Jacob on the road in the middle of nowhere and changed His name and gave him purpose. God meets Hagar in the desert and calls her by name. God met Moses in the field while he was shepherding his flock. God met the woman at the well in the middle of the day,  while she was out getting water, and changed the course of her life. 

Ask God to help you see the menial tasks of your ordinary life through His perspective and be willing to offer it up to Him. It really isn’t about what you do or don’t have to offer but what God does with it. 

Allow Him to take your meager offering and multiply it for His glory however He sees fit. Finally, I leave you with this–You can’t give to others what you don’t have. Make time to connect with God for yourself, not for your ministry, your Bible study or your Sunday School lesson, but because you long to be in His presence.

Read more from the series

Moms on a Mission: Dr. Karen Dowling

Moms on a Mission: Erin Mayes

Moms on a Mission: Kathleen Brooker

Moms on a Mission: Sarah R. Moore

Moms on a Mission: Stacey Pardoe

Moms on a Mission: Kristin Billerbeck

Moms on a Mission: Crystal (aka InnieMom)

Moms on a Mission: Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson

Moms on a Mission: Amy Cutler

Kids need to feel understood

Recently, I wrote an article for a publication about Social Security disability benefits for people who have the same bladder condition I do, interstitial cystitis. IC has no diagnostic test for it and is instead a diagnosis of elimination. While we have made much progress through the years, some patients are still told their symptoms are all in their heads.

Each patient I interviewed who had received disability benefits — whether it took one year or eight years — said their approval for disability brought them great relief and great validation. In fact, feeling validated was almost as thrilling for them as finding out their financial concerns were going to be improving.

Why validation matters

Validation is so incredibly important. I think it’s something that we often overlook both for ourselves and for our kids. Sometimes we don’t need someone to come along and fix our problems. We just need someone to listen, understand and say, “I see you are suffering, and I’m sorry.”

I have felt that way so many times. I even tell my husband sometimes when I don’t need him to fix a problem and just need him to listen.

I’ve not thought about validation as much when it comes to my children. I suppose that’s because validation doesn’t matter so much when they are babies and toddlers. It’s a bit complex. As they get older, though, it comes up.

Validating kids’ emotions

Over the weekend, my daughter had something she wanted to do that didn’t work out through no fault of hers or anyone else. She felt frustrated, disappointed and tearful. What she was upset about seemed a bit trivial to me, because I have three decades of life on her that give me more perspective.

But, it was a big deal to her. And I realized how thankful I am that at 9 years old, my daughter hasn’t had experiences to give her a different perspective. She hasn’t dealt with great adversity or struggle. I am thankful for that blessing.

As I heard her crying, I debated about how to react. Should I comfort her? Should I leave her be? What did my mom do? What would help her most? I decided to trust my mama instinct, which said to go to her and comfort her. So that’s what I did.

It didn’t take much. I gave her a hug and commiserated with her about how disappointing the situation was. I validated her struggle and feelings. That’s what she most needed. Then I gently guided her through looking for a solution to the problem.

Moving from validation to proactivity

I don’t want her to get so caught up in her emotions that she can’t move forward to fix problems. Obviously that wouldn’t serve her well in life. But, I knew without validation for her feelings that she wouldn’t be able to move forward and find a solution.

She was able to continue with her day. My daughter shed a few more tears and then moved on. She felt understood, which mattered most to her. It matters to all of us. When we are going through a difficult time, we just want to be seen and acknowledged for our struggle.

Adults need validation, too

A couple of years ago, I dealt with an ongoing situation that greatly affected me, yet I wasn’t able to tell anyone about. I remember a good friend whose response in finding out about it later was, “You must have felt so alone.” Her response still touches my heart, because I was validated. I felt seen and heard in the midst of my struggle.

That’s all our kiddos need sometimes, too. It’s human nature. And it’s something I’m going to strive to remind myself the next time one of my kiddos has a breakdown over something that seems small to me.

My children don’t need my irritation, frustration or list of solutions. They just need me to come alongside them, hug them, remind them they aren’t alone and then we can work through it together. I pray also that doing this with small issues in their childhood will lead them to coming to me with bigger, more serious issues as they grow.

Profiles of moms making a difference

Back in 2009, I was pregnant with my daughter and joined a message board on Baby Center’s site for women expecting babies in October 2009.

Through the years, I’ve gotten to know a few of the moms from that group very well and consider them good friends. One of these mamas is Kathleen Brooker. When we first “met,” she lived in California. Since then she’s followed her husband’s calling as an Anglican priest to New York and now to Anchorage, Alaska.

As a pastor’s wife of a growing church, Kathleen often jumps in teaching Sunday School, serving in the nursery, co-leading the teen group and more.

Kathleen, who is a former mental health counselor, has chosen to be at home with her five children (ages 2 to 10). She homeschools her oldest three and does her best to keep the younger two entertained at the same time. She’s got such a heart for God and has blessed and encouraged me many times throughout the years.

Just reading Kathleen’s responses to my questions encouraged me, and I know they will you, too!

Families with Grace: What is your God-given mission or passion?

Kathleen Brooker: This is such a hard question for me to answer! It’s hard to zero in on the one thing I feel called to. I think that might mean that I haven’t figured that out yet. So many things draw me. I love to serve alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ, wherever we happen to be needed.

Right now, my service is mostly with the youth in our church: I homeschool our kids, teach Sunday school, and help lead our teen group. I have a heart for young moms and women experiencing crisis pregnancies. I long to be a kind and loving voice speaking the truth of the gospel into the hearts of those needing to hear it.

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

KB: I always thought the counseling profession was where I was supposed to really minister, but after over a decade I’ve come to the conclusion that a counseling office just isn’t where God wants me to serve.

So I serve at home by teaching our kids, by guiding their hearts to love Jesus. I serve by helping our teens at church learn to talk about their faith and share it with others. I serve by being a pastor’s wife.

I love watching my husband share Jesus with people, whether it’s through a worship service, a sermon, a conversation or a prayer with a stranger who calls at 3 a.m. God has blessed him with a personality and heart to love His people, but that’s not always an easy job. That’s where I come in: I get to be his support as he lives out his mission.

God has set our family on a very interesting course — one I never would have imagined when I started dating my husband! We’ve been married for 13 years and have made three major moves (and two minor ones) in that time.

We crossed the country to serve in California, crossed back to serve in New York, then packed up our family again four years ago to serve a small church in Alaska. We’ve had some painful experiences and some times of beautiful peace and healing. Through all of it, we’ve been a team and God has grown us through our ministry together.

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

KB: I think my biggest struggle is that my calling doesn’t feel like a calling sometimes. It just feels like tagging along where God calls my husband! So often, I feel like whatever I can offer is so small that it just has to be insignificant.

There are so many outreach ministries I would love to be involved in, but I’m just so busy with home stuff that it seems like I don’t have time to actually minister to anyone. That’s when I have to remind myself that this is where God has put me now, right here in this house, right in the middle of all this chaos. And He knows I’m here and what’s going on.

He’s blessed my husband and me with five little hearts that are so open to Jesus and long to know and love Him. That’s my mission right now: my kids. It doesn’t mean I can’t do other things outside the home or that I don’t want to, but my focus these days is on guiding them.

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

KB: It’s got to be learning to trust that God really does know what He’s doing. It’s easy to say that God is in control when things are going well, but it becomes so much harder when we run into complications in life. It feels strange to say that the times we’ve struggled most have also blessed us the most, but they have.

We had one particularly rough situation where my husband had lost his job. We were living thousands of miles away from family and friends. We were suddenly cut off from the little support and friendship we’d had, and we just didn’t know what we were going to do. I was eight months pregnant with no health insurance and things just seemed awful.

It wasn’t an easy time, but even in the middle of it, we could see God moving. It was amazing to see how He worked things out and provided for us. I love looking back at a situation and realizing, “Oh, THAT’S what you were doing, God!” It’s amazing to see.

I think my favorite example of this is always going to be the birth of our fifth child. I was so done at four children. I even told God that. Apparently He didn’t agree because shortly after we’d moved to Alaska and settled into our new life here, I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant.

I had such a hard time accepting that I was really going to have another baby and I struggled with it right up until the moment she was born and I saw her little face. The moment I held her and looked in her eyes, I heard God whispering in my heart, telling me to just trust Him. He was telling me that He knows my heart so much better than I ever could. He knows what I need and what is best, even when I think I’ve got a better plan.

During that whole pregnancy, I fought against trusting that God’s plan was better than mine. But the second I saw my daughter’s beautiful little face, all my resistance melted away and I was just in awe of Him. He was teaching me a mighty lesson, but He was doing it in such a gentle, loving way. At that moment I had just a glimpse of His amazing patience, love and grace.

I’d love to say that I’ve changed every aspect of my life and that I never worry and always trust wholly in Him…but that just wouldn’t be honest. Every single time I look at my daughter, though, He reminds me that His plans are best. I still struggle to trust Him completely, but I hope that I’m at least taking some tiny steps in the right direction, following where He’s so lovingly and patiently leading me.

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

KB: I think my advice would be to remember that God has you where you are for a reason. It doesn’t always seem like we’re making any kind of difference or actually doing anything to serve Him, but we are.

I know I always catch myself comparing myself with other women who seem to be more accomplished than I am, feeling that if they are doing something I’m not, then I must be failing. But that’s not the way this works.

We are all here to serve Him in different ways. For some of us, that may never be a spotlight-type of ministry, and that’s OK. It’s more than OK; it’s what He has planned for us. I think we’re just supposed to follow Him faithfully, serving wherever we are with our whole heart and sharing the love of Jesus where we are.

Read more from the series

Moms on a Mission: Dr. Karen Dowling

Moms on a Mission: Erin Mayes

Moms on a Mission: Mari Hernandez-Tuten

Moms on a Mission: Sarah R. Moore

Moms on a Mission: Stacey Pardoe

Moms on a Mission: Kristin Billerbeck

Moms on a Mission: Crystal (aka InnieMom)

Moms on a Mission: Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson

Moms on a Mission: Amy Cutler

Profiles of moms making a difference

I recently shared about the FWG Moms on a Mission series in a blogging group I belong to. Sarah R. Moore reached out to me to ask for more information. Within a minute of being on her page, Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting, I realized she and I have a lot in common!

Her mission and mine line up incredibly well. Sarah is passionate about encouraging positive parenting and building relationships. You’re going to be blessed and encouraged by her insights!

Families with Grace: What is your God-given mission or passion?

Sarah R. Moore: My mission is help families know Christ’s love within their own homes and to feel His grace and live out His goodness in how family members treat one another. Words alone won’t encourage the next generation to believe. I want children to trust in God’s kindness because they’ve experienced that feeling of physical and emotional safety in their own homes.

Further, I hope to gently bring non-believers to Christ by helping them feel His love as they experience it within the context of gentle and positive parenting. I’m a peacemaker by nature, and I want to help people make peace with Christ, above all.  

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

SRM: I’m an internationally published positive parenting writer and educator. Still, I’m far from perfect, so I share my struggles as well as my “wins.” I want parents to know that I “get” both sides. I’ve never been one to write about why MY way is best or why someone HAS to believe in Christ; those things are off-putting at best.

Instead, I take a really honest and transparent approach. Sometimes, it feels like my blog posts should start, “Dear Diary…” But seriously, parenting can be HARD sometimes, and I want parents to have solid, research-backed, evidence-based information at their fingertips. Moreover, as a mom, I work to practice what I preach in my own home. My child is going to hold me accountable for this stuff!

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

SRM: There’s so much misinformation out there – along with so many stereotypes. For one, many non-believers assume that Christian parenting is, by definition, authoritarian parenting and that’s simply not the case. Christ welcomed (and sought out!) those with the worst behavior and taught them through grace through parables and role modeling in His own life. He forgave them even when they did positively awful things. He was patience and peace embodied.

If anything, Christians should be modeling Christ-like behavior to their children and to others; we’re the examples that others see in the world. Of course, by definition, we humans are all imperfect, so it’s all the more important that we live humbly and treat others (including children) how we’d like to be treated – the Golden Rule from Matthew 7:12. It’s an uphill spiritual battle trying to show non-believers that Christ was kind and that we can (and should) raise our children accordingly.

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

SRM: So many! In my own home, I’m constantly reminded of the goodness of positive parenting. I see it manifesting in my child’s kindness that she pours out on others. If she sees someone who needs help, she’s the first one to show up for them – even kids she doesn’t know well (and she’s a strongly introverted child, so this is really something).

And of course, every time I receive an email or a blog post comment about how something gentle I suggested WORKED for a parent or caregiver, especially if it was a departure from how he or she would’ve previously handled the situation – that just makes my heart sing.

FWG: How do you balance motherhood responsibilities with your work/mission?

SRM: That’s tricky, for sure. One thing that helps is that, by necessity, I’ve set some strong limits around my own screen time. My child knows she can count on me to be there for her. I’ve definitely sacrificed some self-care time to get my work done in the evenings after she’s asleep, but in many ways, writing is my self-care. Framing it that way helps me keep the importance of my work in perspective, not only for me but also for my readers.

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

SRM: Do it when it feels right. Don’t force it when it doesn’t, otherwise your passion will start to feel like a chore. Just like our kids grow in spurts, our own personal growth happens in much the same way. Trust yourself and trust that God will tell you when the timing is right. I’ve never gone wrong when I’ve trusted His timing with that which I feel called to do.

Read more from the series

Moms on a Mission: Dr. Karen Dowling

Moms on a Mission: Erin Mayes

Moms on a Mission: Mari Hernandez-Tuten

Moms on a Mission: Kathleen Brooker

Moms on a Mission: Stacey Pardoe

Moms on a Mission: Kristin Billerbeck

Moms on a Mission: Crystal (aka InnieMom)

Moms on a Mission: Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson

Moms on a Mission: Amy Cutler

Profiles of moms who are making a difference

You know how sometimes you “meet” someone online and feel a connection with them? That’s how I’ve been with Stacey Pardoe — and it’s not just because we share the same first name!

Stacey is a fellow blogger and freelance writer who I came across in faith-based blogging groups and gotten to know a bit. Stacey’s blog posts are encouraging and uplifting. Her blog, StaceyPardoe.com, is all about encountering God in the ordinary.

Along with being a blogger, Stacey is a certified special education and elementary education teacher. Right now she’s is taking a break from the classroom to focus on raising her three little ones. When she isn’t writing or taking care of her babies, Stacey also mentors other women.

I know her insights and journey will inspire you as well!

Families with Grace: What is your God-given mission or passion?

Stacey Pardoe: My passion is to walk in Christ’s love and make His love known to the world. I believe all ministry should flow from a personal relationship with Christ. My hope is to encourage others with the hope Christ gives to me on a daily basis.

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

SP: Right now, most of my energy goes into raising my own little flock of three blue-eyed children. Bekah is 9, Caleb is 5 and little Aiden will be a year old in May. While there are days that drag on – days when the mission of motherhood feels too hidden and humbling – I regularly remind myself that shepherding this little flock is among the highest callings in my life. 

In addition to long stroller walks down our country road, afternoons spent chasing frogs in creek bottoms and campfires under hemlock trees with the kids, I also lead Bible studies, mentor women and spend the in-between moments writing. 

Writing fuels my soul in a quiet way that fills me up while I pour out. I began my freelance writing career three years ago. This opportunity to share the hope of Christ with the world nourishes my soul as I follow Christ into vulnerability and the uncomfortable realm of authentic, heart-level sharing. I have learned that one of the greatest gifts I can offer the world is the gift of my vulnerable, authentic self.

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

SP: I love being a mom, but if I’m completely honest, there are days when the mission of motherhood is very challenging. While I thrive on routines, the cyclic nature of performing the same tasks again and again sometimes wears on my soul. 

I thrive in the warm months of the year, when we can get outside for long days in the woods, but there are winter days when the walls close in. There are days when I lose my patience and forget all about being thankful for this calling. 

There are also times when I struggle with balancing the callings to write, mentor and parent. At times, I find myself stretched thin from ministering to the world and neglecting home; however, at other times, I am restless from too much time pouring exclusively into my own little flock. I’ll share more about this below.

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

SP: I am very blessed by this mission of motherhood. After seven years as a high school Life Skills Support special education teacher, I am grateful for this season of pouring into my own children. The miracles of watching them grow, teaching them about Jesus and simply enjoying them are true blessings to me.

I became a mentor somewhat by accident. Throughout my years as a high school teacher, I was also a youth group leader at our local church. I led countless Bible studies and joined teens on mission trips and retreats across the country and beyond. Most of the younger women I currently mentor are now in their 20s; they are the teens who once helped in my classroom and bunked next to me on mission trips. I am blessed to count these young women as friends in this season of life. 

When I picked up writing a few years ago, it quickly became a wonderful ministry that fuels my soul in a different way. God uses writing to nudge me to look at what He’s teaching me and articulate it in a way that speaks to the needs of others. I am deeply blessed by writing.

FWG: How do you balance motherhood responsibilities with your work/mission?

SP: There are certainly times when I struggle to keep a balance between how much I’m ministering to people outside my family and how much I’m pouring into my own family. This is a week-by-week journey. I generally find that God whispers to my soul based on how stretched I’m feeling. 

I can tell when I’m pouring out too much outside the home. I snap at my kids, feel a low level of anxiety and feel like I’m always in a hurry. 

In the same sense, I can tell when I’m not reaching out enough. I have a restlessness in my soul and deep desire to connect in community. That can mean heading to the local university campus to take a walk and mentoring a younger woman or slipping to a quiet spot in the house to work on a writing project.

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

SP: Don’t lose sight of your passions. There will be seasons when you might need to put them on the back-burner as you tend to your family, but this doesn’t mean you have to throw them away altogether. There is no formula for finding the balance between ministering to the world and ministering to your own family.

The key is to stay close to the heart of the Father.  He will whisper to you – through his written Word but also through your energy levels, or just a deep place of “knowing” – about when it’s time to push out and offer more to the world and when it’s time to pull back and give more to your family. The key is a relationship with Him. Keep your love for Him first, and He will help the rest fall into place.

Read more from the series

Moms on a Mission: Dr. Karen Dowling

Moms on a Mission: Erin Mayes

Moms on a Mission: Mari Hernandez-Tuten

Moms on a Mission: Kathleen Brooker

Moms on a Mission: Sarah R. Moore

Moms on a Mission: Kristin Billerbeck

Moms on a Mission: Crystal (aka InnieMom)

Moms on a Mission: Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson

Moms on a Mission: Amy Cutler

Advice from an introverted work-at-home mom on self-isolating

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In an effort to contain the COVID-19 virus and keep from overwhelming healthcare facilities and workers, a good portion of the U.S. population is at home for work and school right now. Along with that, health and government officials are recommending that we self-isolate — basically stay home and avoid contact with other people.

And that is pretty much a normal day in the life for me. I work from home and have since 2003. The last couple of years, my husband has joined me in working from home as well. Add in that I’m also an introvert who recharges with time alone and have chronic health issues that sometimes keep me from being able to get out, and I’m pretty much the poster child for self-isolation.

As my kids get older, I get out of the house more often to take and/or pick them up from school. They each also get to pick one extracurricular activity a week that we take them to, but even that my husband and I usually divide so we only are going to one activity a week.

But my happiest days are the ones where I never leave the house. I love to find ways to be productive and to be lazy. I feel most free at home.

Of course, my feelings are not shared by everyone. Statistically speaking, introverts are a minority (and even among introverts, my INFJ type is the least common). So I can only imagine that there are a lot of extroverts being told to stay home right now that are kind of at a loss.

Folks who are constantly on the go and seldom home. I once joked that our neighbors (who have since moved away) were a family who was almost never home and they probably thought we were a family who was always home. I’m sure we seemed different to them in the opposite way they seemed different to us.

So, I’ve been thinking about what to do at home. What do I enjoy about being in my own house with my husband and kids? What makes this my happy place? The answer has nothing to do with the actual house itself and everything to do with the people inside it, my attitude about it and the activities going on within it.

1. Do some work.

This is probably a no-brainer. Right now, people are working from home and schools are sending home assignments. So, clearly one of the the things you can do at home is work. One of the things your kids can do is schoolwork.

Finding the motivation to do that while at home can be a challenge for some, so I offer things I’ve learned through the years.

If your kiddos don’t have schoolwork sent home with them or need additional ideas, finding educational apps they can use or things you can print out for them to work on while you work. Check out the following:

– Scholastic Learn at Home
– Free weekly broadcast with do-at-home activities through the Cincinnati Zoo’s Facebook page
– 12 museums that offer virtual tours
– List of over 30 virtual field trips
–PBS Kids Daily weekday newsletter

2. Enjoy family meals.

Eating together for dinner can be a challenge for some families. Having a chance to eat breakfast and lunch together is impossible for a lot of families. Times at home are great for togetherness over food. Even if you’re just having bowls of cereal together for breakfast counts. Turn off electronics and chat.

3. Read together.

Even if you’re kids can easily read on their own, reading a book out loud together is special! Check out your local library’s website to download e-books or consider signing up for Kindle Unlimited through Amazon, which I LOVE! If you need ideas of books to read, check out this list of more than 100 children’s books worth reading; it has ideas for toddlers to tweens.

Another great option is Epic!. Right now, Epic! is offering a month free. It has all sorts of books for school-aged kids and includes the option to have the book read aloud, which is great for early readers and non-readers. We love Epic! so much that we’ve had a monthly subscription for a couple of years.

You can also have a nice time just sitting snuggled together or in the same room reading to yourself.

4. Watch movies together.

Thanks to streaming services like Netflix and Disney Plus, you don’t have to leave home to watch a movie together. We love movie nights at my house and having a chance to have them more often when we are all home together is nice. You can combine it with mealtime or snack-time with easy finger foods while you watch. And then, of course, you can also snuggle together!

5. Find new television shows to watch together. (Or watch family favs you are behind on!)

We’ve found a few shows our family enjoys watching together through the years. Recently “Green Eggs and Ham” on Netflix was something we all four enjoyed. We also like baking competitions, “America’s Funniest Videos,” “LegoMasters” and pretty much any of the Scooby-Doos series.

You can also get some culture in by watching one of the Metropolitan Opera’s free nightly broadcasts being offered right now.

6. Cook together.

My kids have loved helping in the kitchen since they were toddlers. They like a chance to bake with me in particular, but even doing meal prep can be fun for them. Cooking with kids usually takes a bit longer, so times being at home are ideal to do so. This is also a great time to try out new recipes or old favorites you haven’t had time to make for a while.

Some of our favorite foods to cook or bake together include the following:

Pumpkin bread
Whipped pudding pie
BLT pizza
Peanut butter honey nut cereal clusters
Brownies
Pizza subs
4-ingredient lemon squares
Cookies, especially toffee cookies

7. Organize or clean together.

Cleaning isn’t so fun, but the more time I have at home, the better condition my house is in. Time at home is great for cleaning and organizing. Work on tasks you need to do but never get around to. Clean out and organize your pantry. Sort through your kids clothes and pull out things that don’t fit. If you feel really ambitious, clean out toys!

In the end, you’ll all feel satisfied with a job well done and be able to do something fun afterward to relax like watch a movie and eat snacks.

8. Get creative together.

Remember all those Pins you saved on Pinterest of stuff you want to make with your kids? Being home together for a while is a great chance to do them. Or pull out craft kits your kids have forgotten about and finally have time to do.

If crafts aren’t your thing (they aren’t mine), then make art together in a low-key way. My family enjoys coloring together. We all work on pictures we want. I use crayons and don’t get detailed. My husband uses high-quality markers and adds lots of detail and shading. My daughter and son each have their own styles as well. But we all have fun!

9. Play games together.

We love games! Being home is a great time to pull out board games, card games and even video games you can play together. We have a wide variety of games our kiddos like. Various types of Uno card games are one of their favorites at the moment. (If you’ve got a younger kiddo, consider getting a playing card holder to help them out. My first grader loves it!)

My kids also love Story Cubes and Toilet Trouble, which are easy for non-readers to play as well! If your kids are solid readers, consider Fluxx, which is a fast-paced card game where the rules constantly change.

Another family favorite of ours is Mad Libs. These are bonus, educational fun because your kiddos have to identify parts of speech!

10. Have unstructured play time together.

Having time at home without other things going on is great for just playing together. My kids’ love any chance for one-on-one playtime with us. My husband and I will set a time for 30 minutes or an hour and play with one child during that time. When the timer goes off, we switch and do the same with the other kiddo. My kids absolutely love it!

11. Make a list of independent activities.

I’d love to say that having extra time at home means we will be doing fun and productive things with our family all the time. But that’s not reality. We still have to do things like work, shower, clean and even just relax! I’ve found having a list of ideas (either written or in my head) that my kiddos can do on their own helps when they come to me and tell me they’re bored.

This can include chores, things they want to do, activities you know they’ll like, etc. You could also encourage them to do something nice for others. Maybe they could make cards to mail to extended family members or those in nursing homes right now.

12. Shop online together.

Sometimes our downtime at home involves online shopping. With warmer weather coming, my kids are going to need some new clothes. While my 7-year-old son doesn’t care so much about his wardrobe, his 10-year-old sister does! Having a chance to look online at some clothes together is always good. Showing my son a couple of options to pick from or scrolling through items with daughter works.

You might not buy everything right now. (Hello, budget!) But, at least you’ll know what you need or want to order over the next couple of months. It can also be a good time for kids to plan what they want to save for or how they’re going to use their spending money.

13. Have spa time.

OK. Maybe not spa time, per se, but being home is a great time to do some beauty sort of stuff you don’t usually get to do or don’t always have time to enjoy. You can do this with or without kiddo involvement.

My daughter and I have recently started doing face masks together and it’s so fun! We also enjoy painting our fingernails. Once I did temporary hair color gel in my kids’ hair. It doesn’t have to be complicated or over-the-top. Just have fun with it!

14. Blare some music.

When my kids were toddlers, they loved dancing around the house with me. Even now at 7 and 10, they still do sometimes. If you’re bored or doing something physical, crank up some fun music and let loose. I can’t tell you how many times I have danced around while baking. One of my favorites is the soundtrack from the musical “Wicked.”

15. Just be.

My favorite thing about time at home is the chance to just be. I love having a chance to just fully be myself. Home is the place where I can be dorky, crazy, quiet, silly or anything else. I can be me.

Some of our best memories have been made during times we aren’t doing a darn thing. We all pile onto our bed or the couch and giggle over silly things. These days the puppy get into the mix and adds some craziness. We just have fun together.

My goal is to let my family just be themselves at home. Of course there are rules to follow and chores to do and all that responsible stuff. But above all, I want them to feel free to be who they are in their own spaces.

Profiles of moms who are making a difference

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Years ago, I picked up a book called “What a Girl Wants” at my local library. While I had read more than my fair share of Christian fiction books, this was my first encounter with Christian Chick-Lit that held my attention, wasn’t trite, made me laugh out loud and had an underlying message reminding me of Who God is.

I proceeded to devour every Kristin Billerbeck book that she’d written. They’re just good books. I read so many books that I typically use the library or Kindle Unlimited, but I bought a few of Kristin’s books when they weren’t available. Now I buy them when they release so I don’t have to wait! They really are that good.

I follow a few of my favorite authors on social media. A few years ago, I came across Kristin on Facebook and had a friend from church who was friends with her. So I sent her a friend request. I had a total fan-girl moment when she accepted my friend request.

In being the casual Facebook friends we are, I have enjoyed getting to know more about her and keep updated when new books are released so I can buy them for my Kindle. I’ve learned that real-life Christian is like many of her heroines: she has a sense of humor and a passion for God.

Though she’s won many awards for her numerous books, Kristin’s biggest source of pride is her four young adult children. I knew she’d be a great fit for the Moms on a Mission series and was so excited when she replied that she’d be happy to answer questions for me.

You’re going to be inspired by her and adore her. You’ll want to read more of her words! Kristin’s website is filled with information about her and her books. It’s organized so you can find series and stand-alone novels to dive into.

Families with Grace: What is your God-given mission or passion?

Kristin Billerbeck: My God-given mission is to tell the world God is perfect — not His people. Though His people may let you down and cause harm, God is not like that. God is loving and compassionate and quick to forgive with repentance. My books all reflect that message. 

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

KB: I’m currently writing a book about five sisters with three mothers and the same father. I wanted to show the grace in the hardest of circumstances. It can be so hard to understand God is a loving father when your earthly father is harmful or even abusive.

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

KB: Sitting down daily and putting everyday life aside to write. I also feel a huge responsibility to get things right Scripturally. For example, in my book “Swimming to the Surface” the heroine is married to an abusive man who is narcissistic. I told the publisher before I sold them the book this will end in divorce. I cannot tell an abused woman that she can love a narcissist enough to make him change. There is no psychological evidence that a narcissist is capable of changing. 

That one was tough for me because I know what the Bible says about divorce, but I also know women who have been ready to commit suicide to get away from their abuser. God doesn’t want a mockery of a marriage over a human soul. That was not His design for marriage. But I know there are legalistic people who will not see that point of view. I respect their viewpoint, but maybe they’ve never loved anyone in that situation. I think if it were happening to their daughter, they would want separation, if not divorce.  

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

KB: I’m very fortunate in that I’ve gotten to travel all over the United States and meet amazing people. Also, the Christian writing community is very close-knit and I’ve made lifelong friends with many.

FWG: How do you balance motherhood responsibilities with your work/mission?

My children are grown now, but when they were young, we had “Mommy time” which was their nap time. When they got older, I still kept those hours (1 p.m. to 3 p.m.) to write. I was fortunate in that I could be interrupted mid-sentence and go right back to where I was in the book when any crisis was over.

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.”  (It’s a book title — great book, by the way.) But if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. Sometimes, if we are being called to a ministry, we have to make sure that is God’s call and follow through. 

I would also say, “Make time for yourself.” It doesn’t have to be a long stretch of time, but it is very important when you’re pursuing a passion that you understand, you do have a right to a life. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice who God made you to be. There are years in parenting where that is more difficult and your kids will always come first, but it’s OK to pursue what you’re passionate about. 

You can find Kristin’s most recent book, “The Theory of Happily Ever After,” on Amazon; it is available through Kindle Unlimited! Keep an eye out for her new release “Room at the Top.”

Read more from the series

Moms on a Mission: Dr. Karen Dowling

Moms on a Mission: Erin Mayes

Moms on a Mission: Mari Hernandez-Tuten

Moms on a Mission: Kathleen Brooker

Moms on a Mission: Sarah R. Moore

Moms on a Mission: Stacey Pardoe

Moms on a Mission: Crystal (aka InnieMom)

Moms on a Mission: Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson

Moms on a Mission: Amy Cutler

Sometimes laughing keeps you from crying — or screaming!

This is a post I wrote back in 2013, when my son was a few months old and my daughter was a preschooler. I recently shared this story with my son. We laughed about it as a memory. So, I had to share it with you guys. Though I am past the phase of tiny babies and their messes, I still stand by the importance of keeping a sense of humor in motherhood. It gets crazy!

Motherhood is a constant learning process that requires flexibility and a sense of humor. And just when you think you have it all figured out, your children like to remind you that you certainly don’t.

For example, a couple of weeks ago I had some time with just my baby boy while his big sister was with my parents. I decided to go shopping for some clothes I needed. Shopping with a baby is easier than shopping with a preschooler. He sits in his carseat in his stroller and dozes. She wants to look at and talk about everything. 

Sure enough, he fell asleep on our way to the first store. He woke up just as I was leaving the store. He needed to eat. I decided I was a capable and experienced at motherhood. I was going to be brave and feed him in the dressing room at the next store. It was too hot to sit in the car, and I really didn’t want to go back home, yet. I still needed a few things.

I picked a couple pairs of capris and hit the dressing room. Unfortunately, the large dressing rooms were taken, so I squeezed us and our stroller into a small one with a tiny bench. I was silently applauding myself for my flexibility and making due instead of freaking out. 

I got us settled and started nursing him. He was fussy. I put him on my shoulder to burp him thinking that could be the problem. What a good mom I was to know these things!

Things take a turn

And that’s when I felt the wetness on his back. The dressing room was warm. I wondered if it was sweat. I took a peek. Nope. Not sweat. It was a massive diaper blowout. 

He’s my second baby. I’m not new to diaper blowouts. But, holy moly! The little guy had been going through a growth spurt which means lots of eating and then, usually, a giant diaper. Our shopping trip was his choice for making the giant diaper.

I was determined not to be ruffled. I whipped out the changing table pad. It just barely fit on the tiny bench. I got to work. I opened up my wipe container and realized it was almost empty. OK. I could handle this. I wasn’t going to freak out. 

With sweat running down my back, I took care of his diaper. Bless my husband’s Aunt Shirley for having sent us diaper bags to put dirty diapers in. I used one for the diaper and wipes and another for his outfit. It was bad.

I got creative with my wipes I had and used every single square inch of those wipes and then pulled out some Wet Ones that I keep in the diaper bag for his big sister and cleaned off my hands and the changing table pad. 

Fortunately I carry a clean onesie with us, so I got the little guy all changed and settled in. I stuck him back in his seat and got everything put away. Then I sat for on the bench for a short breather. I was sweating and felt like I’d been running a marathon after all the work I’d just done dealing with that massive blowout. And then I started giggling.

Keeping a sense of humor

When I was new to motherhood, almost four years ago, I’m pretty darn sure I wouldn’t have giggled. But, I did. I’ve been a mom long enough to learn that a sense of humor is a must. Because sometimes when crap happens (yeah, pun intended! I couldn’t resist!), you have to learn to laugh when you really feel like crying and giving up. 

I had a professor in college whose philosophy was, “If you’re going to laugh about it later, then laugh at it now.” I’ve learned that and managed to do that a few times in my life, especially in motherhood.

Part of me that wanted to give up, throw in the towel and head straight home wondering why I even bothered to leave the house in the first place. But, a bigger part of me thought, “Man! This is a story I’m going to tell. This is a blog post I’m going to write. And it really is kind of funny!” I survived. So did my son.

I pulled him back out of his seat and finished nursing him. He was still a bit fussy, so I hurried through trying on capris. I found a pair I liked. We left the dressing room probably a good half hour since going in (all the while I was hoping and praying there were no security cameras watching us!). I even managed to peruse the children’s department and pick up a couple of things my daughter needed.

My shopping trip definitely went differently than I had planned. But, life and motherhood seldom go according to plan. In the end, my son and I were both fine and I even left my shopping trip having gotten what I set out to get — plus a good giggle and story to tell.