Families With Grace

Helping Christian moms create homes filled with grace, love & faith

Author: Stacey A. Shannon

Stacey A. Shannon is a freelance journalist and blogger who has been published internationally. She's also a Christian, a wife and a mom of two school-aged children. She started Families with Grace in 2019 to encourage Christian moms as they create homes filled with grace, love and faith. Be sure to get the FREE family devotion book, "Finding Grace at Home: 7 Days of 5 Minute Devotions for Families." It's a great way to help your family draw closer to each other and to God. Motherhood can be lonely. You weren't meant to go on your motherhood journey alone. Connect with Stacey and other Christian moms like you in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace! And check out the books from Stacey A. Shannon as well!

The push and pull of motherhood

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

We can want to be away from and with our children at the same time!

I originally wrote this piece about motherhood in March of 2014 when my daughter was 4 and my son was 1. While they are now 11 and nearly 8 and some things have changed, the feelings of the push and pull of motherhood remain.

Not that long ago while my daughter was trying to prolong going to sleep by keeping me in her room, she stopped me as I got to the door and said, “But, I’ll miss you while I’m asleep.” I’m a sucker for her. I went back for yet another hug and told her I’d miss her, too.

At the time, it was the end of the day and I was tired. I’m not a night person. And by the time we manage to make it until bedtime, I’m usually quite ready and happy for the kiddos to go down so I can have an hour or two of downtime before I hit the hay, too. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I miss the kids at that point in my day. (I know. What a horrible mother I am!)

But, I’ve realized that in the mornings (now that they are both sleeping through the night more often than not), I really have missed them. When my daughter comes out of her room and comes to find me, I’m mostly happy to see her. (Full disclosure: sometimes I take a couple of minutes to feel this joy when my quiet morning time comes to a close.)

And I love morning snuggles. When my son wakes up and I get him out of his crib, we snuggle for just a moment before I change his diaper. Is he always on board? No. At 13 months, sometimes he’s squirming around in the snuggle to try and get a peek at his sister or dog, but that’s OK. I still live for these morning snuggles.

I feel like this is so much the truth of motherhood. So many times I long for a break from my kids. Like every night at bedtime, I’m happy to see them go to sleep so I can have just a minute to sit down and breathe. But then 12 hours later, I’m happy to see them and feel like I really have missed them somehow.

I love my quiet and alone times. I’m an introvert. These are the times that feed my soul. I wouldn’t be anywhere near a happy mom without some downtime, but I really am finding that I do (gasp!) enjoy my kids!

Motherhood is this constant pushing and pulling. We think about it from the beginning with kids trying to pull away when they can and gain independence, but I think it’s true for us moms, too. We sometimes want to push our kids away to get a break and then just as quickly, we want to pull them right back for a hug. It’s an odd dichotomy. And it happens often.

Earlier this week, I had to wheel the trash can to the curb for pick-up. My husband usually does that job, but he’s been sick for a week, so I did it after dinner. I had made dinner, fed the kids, made an alternative to the alternative for the toddler who threw most everything I gave him on the floor, cleaned the kitchen, fielded a barrage of questions and comments from the preschooler, sorted through some things in the freezer and bagged up the trash. I was tired.  

As I was about to head out the door, I smelled the dirty diaper on my son. I sighed and continued. It might have been the slowest walk to take out the trash anyone has ever done. The weather was nice and it was blissfully quiet outside. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to go back inside at that moment. I knew what was waiting for me.

So, I took a deep breath and went back in. That minute break was needed. It wasn’t long enough. And then I told my son he needed a new diaper. His latest trick is that when we tell him this then he walks to his changing table. This time, he reached up to grab my hand before he started off to the changing table. My heart melted. I found myself refreshed in the midst of a long evening. Just one minute earlier, I’d been ready to just be alone for a while. But with one little hand reaching up for me, that melted away.

That’s motherhood. We long for breaks; we need breaks. However, we long for our children; we need our children. It’s a constant back and forth.  

Now, you’ll have to excuse me while I go.  While I’ve been writing this, my daughter has finished her breakfast and come over for a snuggle on the couch in our PJs.  I’m not about to miss out on that!

10 More virtual school success tips

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

More ways to set up for virtual school success

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Back in August, I shared virtual school success tips that we’d learned from spring until fall. Now, we are just over halfway through the school year and, as a family who has chosen to virtual school this school year, I have even more tips to share!

We’re in this for the long haul, and we know it. That’s a nice change from when virtual school was sprung on us in March 2020. We are also blessed in having an awesome school that gives us great virtual learning options for our second and fifth graders. We don’t have to come up with the curriculum but rather keep everything organized and running smoothly.

1. Use your phone alarms.

I love my phone alarms. When my kids were in school in-person, I had an alarm set for each day for when I needed to get ready and leave to pick them up.

This school year kicked that up a major notch. My son, our second grader, has a variety of Zoom calls throughout the day connecting with other virtual learners his age. Some calls are only on certain days and some are every day. He uses a few different Zoom meeting rooms for his calls. So, I set recurring alarms for the appropriate days that go off five minutes before each call. The five minutes allows us to finish what we were doing, get out his needed supplies and dial into the call.

My daughter in fifth grade is more independent and spends most of her day Zooming with her classmates who are both virtual and in-person. I don’t have to set alarms for when her calls start, but I do have other alarms set for her. I use an alarm for when she needs to head back to a call after lunch and gym a couple of days a week.

Speaking of lunch, I even set a daily alarm to start making lunch. My daughter, especially, has a more limited lunchtime.

2. Use your calendar.

This may sound like overkill, but I use my phone calendar and my paper planner. My phone pops up with reminders 10 minutes before calls start, but I have those same times written down in my planner for each day so I can easily see them if I’m scheduling something for us.

Honestly, using a calendar (or two) is one of my best virtual school success tips. With so many schedules to organize, including my own work schedule, having it all in one place is so helpful.

I set calendar appointments and reminders for just about everything in my life!

3. Prepare for calls.

My son’s teacher usually posts the day’s assignments around 6 a.m. each day. One of the first things I do when I get up is check what he has going on that day. It helps me plan in my head for times he needs help and times he can work independently.

But as we get our day underway, I also take that information and organize supplies and assignments for the day. We have different colored folders for each subject. So I make sure the papers he needs for each subject are in the correct folder for that day.

The prepared folders are great to pull out as he is logging into a Zoom call. He’s quickly and easily ready to go. And he isn’t scrambling around looking for what he needs and missing instructions or making his classmates have to wait for him.

4. Have a spot for storing extra and seldom used supplies.

In the previous post of virtual school success tips, I told you how we use baskets for each kiddo and their related school supplies and materials. We still do that and absolutely love it!

But we also needed somewhere to store extra supplies (hello, glue sticks and pencils!) as well as supplies we don’t use as often. I had an extra portable file storage container, so I just used it. You can use whatever you have on hand or even a cabinet.

Ours has some gym supplies, music supplies, extra school supplies (glue sticks, pencils, pens, markers, etc.) and even an extra math book we’ll need when we finish the current one.

The nice part about having a specific spot for extra and seldom used supplies is that we know where to go when we need them and can find them quickly. Our day doesn’t get interrupted searching all over the house to remember where the extra glue sticks are.

Our basic art supplies go in two drawers in our kitchen because we use them more often. That includes crayons, markers, watercolors, colored pencils, white art paper and construction paper. My son’s pencil box has twistable crayons, scissors and glue sticks as well as his pencils. And both kids have a stack of white paper in their art folders.

5. Communicate with the teacher.

I’m an introvert. And to boot, I’m also a bit on the shy side and don’t want to pester people. But, another of my top virtual school success tips is communicating with the teacher.

Virtual schooling is basically a partnership between parents and teachers. Our teachers have communicated well with us, but questions and problems arise. Sometimes one quick email can make all the difference on how well an assignment goes.

6. Communicate with independent learners.

My daughter works well on her own, but communicating with her is still important. If you have a kiddo who is older and working solo, check in with them regularly to see how things are going.

I love that we have lunch together and I can get updates about how things are going. We have navigated a few issues that have come up this year. As a fifth grader, my daughter has continued to work well independently. If that weren’t the case, she would have more oversight.

And my final thought on communicating well with independent learners means a certain level of trust between you and your kiddo. Even within that, stay on top of messages from their teachers to ensure work is turned in and completed as it should be. I have our school account settings so that messages my kids get from their teachers also come to my parent account and alert me on my phone.

7. Sometimes an attitude adjustment is necessary.

Working together all day every day means that you’re going to have grumpy moments — and so are your kids. My attitude directly affects my son’s attitude. If I’m grumpy and short, so is he.

I do my best to keep a good attitude as we are working. If I’m struggling, because some days are just hard, then I call break time. Recently, on a long school day, my son and I hung out on the stairs petting our pooch for a few minutes. We needed a school break to regroup.

And other times, I tell my son that I need him to change his attitude. We aren’t fighting each other, we are working together to get school done. Sometimes we all need that kind of reminder!

8. Ask for help when you need it.

Virtual schooling is often busy and overwhelming, especially if you are also trying to do work as well. Pay attention to what exactly you need help with and then work to figure out the best solutions.

My husband also works from home, so we’ve talked a few times about what I need for my own wellbeing. Earlier in the school year, he encouraged me to go to our bedroom and shut the door to get a break when I was overwhelmed and needed some quiet to regroup.

Now my biggest need is having time to get my own work done as my son’s work has gotten more involved and some of my work has gotten busier. So right now, we are having my husband take over schoolwork after lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That gives me a few hours in the office to get work done.

9. Set realistic expectations all around.

As an adult, I want to hit tasks hard in the morning and work until they’re finished. That’s not what works best for my 7-year-old. He has to have brain breaks. Sometimes that means I set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and he takes a complete break or we switch to something like an art project.

Another one of my best virtual school success tips is to set realistic expectations for yourself and what you can get done. My productivity level is lower while we are virtual schooling than when my kids are at school in person. (Go figure!)

To keep frustration at bay, I adjust my expectations for what I can do from household chores to work tasks.

10. Take care of yourself physically.

After the first week of school, I spent the weekend on the couch with horrible hip pain. While I have hip pain normally thanks to my fibromyalgia, this was above and beyond. I realized it was from how I was sitting while we were doing school.

My son and I sit at the kitchen table for school. Our table is counter height, so my feet were tucked a bit behind me on the rung of the chair all day every day, and it made my hip very angry. So, I moved a footstool under the table and that helped tremendously.

When I dealt with a sciatica flare, I realized sitting on the hard kitchen chair all day long wasn’t doing me any favors. I got a seat cushion and love it! Now I don’t feel as compelled to try and move school to the couch or somewhere more comfortable to sit.

The final thing I do to take care of myself is wear shoes all day. My low back and hips have been so much happier! I got a new pair of Brooks Ghost running shoes on the recommendation of my physical therapist. I only wear them at home, so I don’t have to worry about tracking in dirt or germs all over the place. Considering I’m home 99% of the time right now, it’s not so hard.

With virtual schooling, I am on my feet more often throughout the day than usual. I’m constantly getting up and down working with the kiddos. I spend more time on my feet even at lunchtime now that I’m making lunch for all of us rather than just for me. Since we don’t have carpet anywhere in our house except the stairs, the hard floors were doing me in.

The other bonus to wearing shoes is that it also makes me feel more serious about what I’m doing. I seem more purposeful somehow. And some days, I really need that!

Find more virtual school success tips here!

Valentine’s gift ideas for him

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Sweet Valentine’s gift ideas your guy will love

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Valentine’s Day is coming. My husband and I have spent more than two decades celebrating Valentine’s Day together. Yet, I can still have trouble coming up with Valentine’s gift ideas for him.

I want a Valentine’s gift that’s sweet and not something generic or usually even something I’d get him for Christmas or his birthday. I’d much prefer to come up with Valentine’s gift ideas for him that have more meaning and less price tag.

With that in mind, I went in search of gift ideas that were a good amount of sweet as well as things guys would actually like and use.

Get cozy

Since Valentine’s Day comes during the winter (at least here in the U.S.), cozy blanket can be great Valentine’s gift ideas for him. And it’s even better since the two of you can snuggle beneath it to stay warm! But you don’t want to give him just any boring blanket. Consider a weighted blanket, which is super popular these days.

Or go for something fun and cozy like some of these unique throws.

This fun throw would certainly keep your guy toasty on cold days. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

If you’re married to a gamer who grew up in the 1980s like I am, these next two gaming throws would be a hit.

Game together

If you and your husband like playing games, couples-themed games are great Valentine’s gift ideas for him. It’s like two gifts in one. First you give the gift of the game and then you get the gift of time spent together playing it!

Picture this

Photo gifts are pretty fun, no matter how long you’ve been together. Find a photo (or a few) from a favorite memory, put it in a frame and you have a great Valentine’s gift!

Write it down

Take your Valentine’s card a step further by writing a book for your husband! With one of these fill-in-the-blank books, you can pretty easily write a sweet and sentimental book. And, unlike a card that’s easy to toss out, he can keep the book and go back to it time and again.

Laugh together

I have to be honest and tell you this final gift idea actually came from my husband. This is a book he got me for Christmas based on a series of comics that often remind him of us. Even better, he wrote on the inside cover a sweet note along with which comics reminded him most of us. It made me swoon!

Looking for more ideas on how to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your husband? Check out the easy Valentine’s tradition I do for my husband and kids to help them feel loved!

Introducing Girls with Grace

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

A blog for tween girls by a tween girl

For the past couple of months, my 11-year-old daughter, Lexi, and I have been talking about some writing projects we want to do together. One of the projects she’s been excited about is blogging. We decided 2021 is the year we kick off Girls with Grace!

Girls with Grace

Lexi is the mind and creativity behind Girls with Grace. In fact, she is the one who even came up with the name. For now, Girls with Grace will run new posts in a category all to itself on the Families with Grace blog. The posts will usually go live on Tuesdays.

Our plan is for her to have two to four new posts a month, because that seems manageable with her schoolwork and such she has going on.

To say that I’m proud of my kiddo is an understatement. She’s done some awesome things already in her 11 years. Working on Girls with Grace together has allowed me to get additional insight into her heart and mind that has been such a blessing. I know you’re going to be blessed by her heart and ministry as well!

Share Girls with Grace posts with the tween girls in your life and read them yourself. I let her take over today’s Families with Grace post to introduce her and let you hear what she has on her mind. This kiddo is wise beyond her years — and yes, I am totally partial!

Families with Grace: Why do you want to write a blog?

Lexi: I really enjoy writing and I enjoy God. I enjoy sharing. I enjoy blogs. I think it would be helpful.

I hope to help people who need it. I want to reach out to preteen and early teen girls. I want to help them in their walk with God by writing about it. There are lots of blogs saying to read your Bible and heres a schedule, but that feels like it’s too much. It doesn’t work well for everyone. I want to give practical tips for how to connect with God while still living your life.

FWG: What are some ways you’ve found to connect with God in the midst of schoolwork and friendships?

Lexi: I could talk forever about this! Every night when I can, if it’s not like 20-degrees or I’m not half asleep when I go up to my bedroom, I grab my Bible. Right now I’m reading Job. I didn’t go through the Bible in order. I found when I started doing that, some stories I already knew and some I wasn’t keen to re-read because I didn’t enjoy them very much.

Girls with Grace

I have a Bible where everything is split up into sections. I read one section a night for about five minutes. I meditate or pray. I get some fresh air and try to clear my mind and then go to bed. I’m finished with my homework and have no other distractions. I’m free and have time to just devote that time to God. It’s also incredibly quiet at night and easier to focus on the Bible and what I’m reading.

FWG: What advice so you have for other preteen girls who are working to find their place in the world and grow in their relationship with God?

Lexi: Don’t go searching for what your place is. It’s going to happen. You’re going to figure out what your place is with God. Go with what you think is right and what you think He would want you to do in your situation. You’re not going to just find your place in the world quickly and easily. You’ll find it eventually. It’s going to change, too. In different phases of life, your purpose can be different.

Naturally you will find what your supposed to be doing. Even if it seems like you figured it out to late, God knows when you need to know your purpose most because he knows what it going to happen the next day, and the next, and the next, and so on.

If you search for your purpose continuously, you aren’t going to have a nice childhood or great friendships. Live with and for god, but whilst you exist, you shouldn’t forget to live.

FWG: What is your favorite Bible verse? Why is that your favorite verse?

Lexi: I actually have a passage of verses that are my favorite.

“For no one is abandoned
    by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
    because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
For he does not enjoy hurting people
    or causing them sorrow.”

Lamentations 3:31-33 (NLT)

I was looking through my Bible. There was a wall I had dedicated to Bible verses. I had a hole and needed to find a new verse to go there. These verses really stood out to me. I think it sums up a good amount of the Bible really well. It reminds us that the Lord is always with us and even if things seem bad, He still loves us. He is always with us and it’s not going to be bad forever. God doesn’t enjoy our pain. That isn’t what He wants. He wants us to be happy. But sometimes to be happy, we have to get hurt first.

One of my favorite quotes that goes right along with this is, “It’s OK to be a glow stick; sometimes we have to break before we shine.”

Another one of my favorites is HOPE: Hold On Pain Ends.

FWG: Share a little bit about your faith journey. When do you first remember being aware of God on a personal level and not just someone your parents or Sunday School teacher talked about?

Lexi: One of the first things I really remember when I felt like God was in my life was when I was 4 or 5 and felt like I needed to start a food pantry ministry at my church to help a local food pantry.

We had donated to food pantries a couple of times. I used my giving money of my allowance to buy some food. We decided to go to a food pantry that was out of a local church that we hadn’t been to before. We learned they gave away food once a month and were dedicated to doing so, even when they didn’t have a huge amount of food.

They didn’t have the word about it out very well. I’m not sure what it was about this church that really spoke to me, but I knew I needed to do something about these people that couldn’t get their food. I didn’t have anything, but I started talking to my mom. We decided to do something at church. We can’t run our own food pantry, but we started a food collection at our church. We had bins and made an announcement. The food pantry collection is still going on now about seven years later.

Fun Fact: When I told my mother about the food pantry, I started with ” I have an idea…” which is the same exact way Girls with Grace came to life!

FWG: What is your faith history?

Lexi: I can’t remember a time I didn’t go to church. I can’t remember a time I wasn’t learning about God. I don’t think I can say there was something that stuck out to me without teachers.

I’ve been ministered very well from a young age. Since before I could walk or talk, I’ve learned about Jesus. I’ve read a children’s Bible and knew half of the stories of the Bible by heart by the time I was in kindergarten.

FWG: What have you done so far in your life that you’re most proud of?

Lexi: Last school year, I did a food drive in my grade for the food pantry. We were able to bring in a lot of non-perishable items for the food pantry.

FWG: What are you looking forward to about working on Girls with Grace?

Lexi: Honestly, I’m just excited to write. I’m excited to take these things that I’ve learned — because I’ve learned a lot — and write them down. I’m happy to explain my lessons so that you can learn from somebody else. Some of them were great things and then some of them weren’t so great things. I’ve dealt with anxiety during school years. I’ve learned from both the good stuff and the bad.

FWG: Do you have anything else to add?

Lexi: I could talk for years on making people happy. It doesn’t always go well, but it’s something I try to do. I don’t need to make people. It’s not something you should spend all your time trying to do or else you’ll make yourself miserable in the process. I have tried anyway and I’ve learned from it.

How to look back at a hard year

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Learning to move on from the challenges

This year has brought challenges that most of us didn’t expect when we rang in the new year on January 1. My blog post published on January 2 talked about how I wanted to make sure I kept focused on the things that really matter in life like making memories with my family. I had no idea those memories would include months and months of being at home and helping my kids virtual school full-time.

Of course 2020 has been collectively a difficult and challenging year. Its challenges aren’t going to go away any time soon either. But, like all of us, I’ve had other difficult years. I’ve lived through years I thought really, truly might break me.

I recently went back and read something I wrote at the end of 2013. Even now seven years later, my husband and I still say the only good thing that came out of that year was the birth of our son — and that happened at the end of January.

The rest of the year included all sorts of difficult struggles. It was a year during which we survived. We certainly didn’t thrive. We dragged ourselves to Dec. 31, 2013 with hopes 2014 would be better.

Some years are like that. This year has been like that for many folks. We’ve survived the year, but we haven’t done a lot of thriving. I don’t think anyone is going to hate seeing 2020 finally come to an end.

Finding the good in the midst of bad

However, 2020 wasn’t only bad. Whenever I have a bad year, that’s what I’ve learned I must remember. Each year has both good and bad parts. For the years with more bad than good, we struggle to remember the good stuff sometimes.

Back at the end of 2013, I remember sitting down to write about it and deleting half of what I first typed. I didn’t want to focus on the negative. I wasn’t sure the positive would take many words. But I surprised myself with how many good memories I had from the year.

That’s the challenge for 2020. I know you have good memories from this year. I do. As we close out this year and say good riddance to it, what have been some of your best moments of the year? What are you thankful for?

I can’t speak collectively for all of us. Some moments this year were good for some and not for others. But I can speak for myself.

Good moments of 2020

My children have an early spring break, so we were able to have a spring break trip this year before things went completely sideways. We spent a couple of days at an indoor water park and then they went on a short trip with my parents. Those water park memories were good, but they are even better when viewed with the perspective of the rest of the year!

Being at home more, we did more fun things like playing games together.

We got creative in celebrating Easter this year and ate tacos for Easter dinner.

At the end of June, we spent a week at the lake with my parents and a few days with my brother and his family. My son caught his first fish. I delighted in watching my kids go tubing for their first time. My daughter and I pretended to be otters floating in the lake, completely relaxed. It was a restorative time and a bit of a break from reality. (We still only got food as take-out and made bathroom trips incredibly fast and masked up on the way there and back.)

My husband and I got to be a bigger part of our kids’ first day of school than usual, because we set up for school at home from the start of this school year.

We watched lots of movies and shows together at home.

Our family has laughed and come up with more inside jokes than usual.

We’ve had some great conversations as a family around the table and anywhere we are.

The puppy got in on the action with even more snuggles than usual, which has made all of us happy.

We’ve read through numerous books as a family and not only had more time to read them but also to talk about them.

We got creative for Halloween and hosted a party and Halloween hunt for our parents in lieu of trick-or-treating. We had such fun coming up with snacks and making decorations and games.

I played hostess for Thanksgiving this year with my parents and in-laws. We all contributed food and enjoyed each other’s company. Being together was a blessing!

The list could continue on of the good memories from this year!

Thankfulness in 2020

Along with good memories, the year has many things for which to be thankful. The first thing that pops into my head is that I’m thankful to end this year with a healthy family. My loved ones whom I have most been concerned for have had some other health issues not related to the pandemic, but we are all healthy overall.

I am also thankful for the strength God has given me to get through the year. We started out the pandemic with my husband completely incapacitated after having rotator cuff repair surgery. The first few weeks of quarantine and virtual school were quite intense.

This year I’ve become even more thankful for our new home and the space we have now to spread out for things like virtual schooling.

I’m thankful for our puppy as well. We celebrated his first birthday in May. He brought us lots of love, laughter and cuddles throughout everything this year has held.

I am very grateful for pick-up at stores. While I appreciated grocery pick-up before, I REALLY appreciate it now. I haven’t been inside a store to shop in months. I completed all my Christmas shopping online and had items delivered to me or picked them up without getting out of my car.

Above all, I am thankful for God. He has been faithful, as always, through every moment of this year. God wasn’t surprised or caught off-guard by anything in 2020. He remains faithful and good through every single moment.

Acknowledge the challenge

Looking back at a difficult year to find the positive doesn’t mean that we aren’t acknowledging the negative. This year has also held heart-wrenching moments. We do have to acknowledge those.

As we are doing so, though, we must also take note of what we learned and how we grew through those difficulties. I’ve learned some of the most important lessons of my life through hard times and difficulties. I’m thankful for those lessons, because they serve me well the next time a hard time comes around.

This year may also require mourning for what we lost. I am not even speaking of the loss of life. That is a whole other level of mourning and grief that doesn’t even compare to anything else. I know that. I pray for those who have lost loved ones this year whether because of COVID or because of other reasons.

What I mean by mourning in this instance is acknowledging what we missed out on this year. I think of family events that were canceled. Graduations that were different. Proms that weren’t held. I think of fun at recess that’s been missed. And school programs that were canceled. There were church services held online instead of in person.

So many things were challenging about this year. We had to change our way of life — and that doesn’t come without growing pains.

What I’ve learned, though, is that while we must acknowledge the hard times, we don’t want to get stuck there. Getting stuck in the hard stuff for too long is the problem. And that’s when we go back around to remember the good parts of the year. That’s when we start going through what we’re grateful for.

So let’s process what we went through in 2020 and look forward to what another year will bring.

2-Ingredient, no-bake butterscotch haystacks recipe

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

This butterscotch haystacks recipe is as easy as it gets!

I’m a fan of simple recipes, and this butterscotch haystacks recipe is one of the most simple ones I make! With only two ingredients and no oven or stove required, they come together quickly and easily. They make a great addition to holiday baking or any time of year.

Of all the sweet treats I make, this is one of my husband’s very favorites. He isn’t a big chocolate fan, but he loves butterscotch. They’re a crunchy butterscotch treat. You don’t have to tell anyone how easy they are to make unless you want to!

You may notice in the photo above that I have both chow mein noodles and Asian style crunchy noodles. Either one works for the butterscotch haystacks recipe. You can mix them together, which is what I did this time. The chow mein noodles are a bit bigger.

Pour the butterscotch chips into a microwaveable bowl and microwave in 30-second intervals stirring each time until melted. Then pour in your chow mein and/or crunchy noodles and stir gently until they are all covered in butterscotch.

And that’s it. You can add in some peanuts if you want, but I always keep this butterscotch haystack recipe simple with just these two ingredients. I stir in the noodles in intervals to make sure they are all covered with a good amount of butterscotch.

Dole them out with in heaping tablespoons onto parchment or wax paper and let them cool. Store them in an airtight container to keep them fresh and yummy for days — if they’ll last that long without getting eaten!

Butterscotch haystacks recipe

Print Recipe

Ingredients
  

  • 1 11- ounce bag of butterscotch chips
  • 3 to 3-1/2 cups of chow mein noodles

Instructions
 

  • Pour the butterscotch chips into a microwaveable bowl.
  • Heat the chips in 30-second increments in the microwave, stirring after each 30 seconds.
  • Once the chips are melted and smooth, pour the chow mein noodles into the melted butterscotch about 1 cup at a time. Gently stir to cover the noodles in butterscotch.
  • Place parchment paper or wax paper on the counter. Dole out the mixture one heaping tablespoon at a time to form the haystacks.
  • Let them cool and harden. Enjoy!

Looking for more sweet recipes? Check out these:

Easy peanut butter cookies recipe

The BEST toffee cookies recipe

4-ingredient whipped pudding pie

The one hack you need to make box mix brownies so fudgy delicious

The perfect yeast roll recipe

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

Prepare for carb heaven with these delectable yeast rolls!

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

There is nothing as good as a soft, scrumptious, warm yeast roll! I started trying to find a good yeast roll recipe back in 2013 after I’d gotten a stand mixer for Christmas 2012. I found a few OK recipes and a couple of good ones.

Then I asked my friend, Kayla, who is a professional baker, what recipe she uses. I tried it and her yeast roll recipe has become my go-to. In fact, I often double this yeast roll recipe for family gatherings and they never go to waste!

Proof the yeast

Like most yeast recipes, you start with proofing the yeast. Combine the yeast, sugar and water. I used quick rise yeast, which says the best temperature is between 110- and 115-degrees. I really do get out my thermometer and check the temperature of the water before adding it into the yeast.

Once the yeast, sugar and water are in your mixing bowl, let it set until it is all bubbly and poofy, usually 6-9 minutes. (Mine took 8.) My doubled-recipe looked like this:

Add more ingredients

Once the yeast is proofed, add the egg, milk and butter. I heat my milk a bit it doesn’t go in cold. I also softened my butter and tried to make sure my egg was pretty near room temperature.

Slowly add in the flour and mix on low so it won’t fly up and make a mess. For my doubled yeast roll recipe, I ended up using 6 cups of flour. Depending on where you live and the humidity and all that jazz, you may not need as much.

For a single recipe, use 2-1/2 to 3 cups. For doubled, use 5 to 6. After I got to 5 cups, I added in a 1/4 cup, a 1/2 cup and then another 1/4 cup, mixing well after each time to make sure that I wasn’t getting the dough too stiff or dry. You want it to be nice and soft but not liquid-y. This dough is a little sticky.

Once you have in all the ingredients, it’s time to mix with the dough hook on your mixer. Mix for about 5 minutes on speed 8 (basically medium-high speed). Add in the salt. (If you add the salt sooner, it will kill the yeast.)

Mix for another 2 minutes. Once the dough starts gathering around the hook and pulling away from the bowl, then it is finished. It looks like this:

Let it rise

Now it’s time to rise. Cover your bowl and let it sit somewhere warm. I use Glad Press ‘N Seal to cover mine.

The dough in the bowl before being covered and rising.
The Glad Press ‘N Seal covers the bowl snugly to help it rise.

I let mine sit in my kitchen for about 40 minutes to rise. Here is what it looked like when I removed the cover:

Knead, form and rise again

Next is time for some kneading. I spread out a sheet of wax paper on my kitchen counter and douse with some flour. Place the dough on your prepared surface and sprinkle some flour on top as well. Knead it lightly for a couple of minutes.

After kneading, cut and roll the dough into balls and place them in 9×13 pans sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. You can also use muffin tins by placing two small balls in the bottom of each muffin cup.

Once the rolls are formed, they need to rise again. I usually do my rising in the oven. I turn my oven on to 200-degrees. Once it is preheated, I turn it off and put the rolls in for about 10-15 minutes.

When they’re risen and ready to bake, they’ll look something like this:

I totally love this Rachael Ray 9×13 pan. It’s as awesome and non-stick as all of her other cookware. 

Bake the yeast rolls for 12 to 18 minutes at 400-degrees.

Make your butter

When the yeast rolls are almost finished, I usually prep butter to brush over their tops. For the doubled recipe, I used an entire stick, but for a single batch, a half a stick of butter or margarine would work fine. I like to mix some honey and cinnamon into mine for a touch of sweetness. I use about a tablespoon of honey and a 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon for a whole stick of butter.

Here is what mine looked like before I melted it on low power in the microwave:

When the rolls are golden, pull them out and brush with the honey and cinnamon butter, if you’d like. Remove them from the pan once they have cooled about 5 minutes. They travel well and reheat well. The delicious results of this yeast roll recipe will make it your go-to for holiday dinners and any other time as well!

The perfect yeast roll recipe

Print Recipe

Ingredients
  

  • 2-1/2 to 3 cups flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup butter or margarine softened (almost melted)
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 package yeast 2-1/4 teaspoons
  • 1/2 cup warm water heat to temp according to yeast packet or jar
  • 1/2 cup milk warmed
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 stick butter or margarine optional
  • 1/2 tablespoon honey optional
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon optional

Instructions
 

  • Put the yeast, sugar and warm water in your mixing bowl. (Make sure water is heated to the correct temperature for your yeast. For example, my quick-rise yeast says 110- to 115-degrees is best. Use a thermometer to be sure it's not too hot to kill the yeast but it hot enough to activate it.)
  • Let the yeast mixture set until it is all bubbly and poofy (usually around 6-9 minutes).
  • Add in the egg, warmed milk and softened butter.
  • Slowly add in the flour. If the dough is still wet or very sticky after adding 2-1/2 cups, then add in 1/4-cup at a time to equal 1/2-cup more total until the dough is soft and only a bit sticky but not wet.
  • Mix using a dough hook on your mixer at medium-high speed for about 5 minutes. (I used speed 8 on my stand mixer.)
  • Add in the salt and mix for about 2 minutes more until the dough is gathering around the hook and pulling away from the sides of the bowl.
  • Cover the dough and let it rise in a warm place for 30-40 minutes. (I usually cover mine with Glad Press n Seal.)
  • Once the dough is risen, dump it onto a floured surface and gently knead it for about 2 minutes. Cut it into pieces and roll it into balls. Place the dough balls in a 9x13 pan that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. (If you prefer, you can use a greased muffin tin and place two small dough balls in each muffin cup.)
  • Let the shaped dough rise again. You can leave it somewhere warm or use your oven by turning it to 200-degrees. Once it is preheated, then turn it off and put in the dough. In the oven, it takes 10-15 minutes to rise. On the counter, it takes a bit longer depending on the temperature in your kitchen.
  • Bake the rolls at 400-degrees for 12-18 minutes until light golden on top.
  • Optionally, just before the rolls are due out of the oven, put the 1/2 stick butter or margarine in a bowl. Add the honey and cinnamon on top. Melt in the microwave for 1 minute on 40 percent power. Brush over the top of the rolls when they come out of the oven.

Looking for more bread recipes? Check out these:

Bacon ranch cheese bread

The only pumpkin bread recipe you need

Protein-packed banana bread recipe

Working from home with your spouse

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

9 Things I’ve learned in the last three years sharing a home office with my husband

When I started working as a freelance journalist back in 2003, I was the only person in my family working from home. Since then, I’ve always worked from home. Eventually my only co-worker was our pooch and I worked from a home office with just him around.

Then in October 2009, we had our first baby. I didn’t do as much work or spend as much time in the office after she was born. My husband got to periodically work from home but not very often.

When I was pregnant with our second baby in 2012, I boxed up many of my work things in the home office because my husband was working from home a bit more often, and I knew I’d be working less once I had two little ones on my hands.

By 2014, when we had a 1-year-old and 4-year-old, my husband’s job changed so that he was working from home most of the time. He spent the first few years working from home nearly solo as I was taking care of our kiddos and only doing a bit of work here and there.

When we built our home in 2017, we knew I’d be able to start working more again because our son was heading to kindergarten that fall. We tweaked the floor plan so what was the formal living room became the home office. And, for the first time, my husband and I were going to share office space.

Getting on the same page

As we began planning the layout for our home office, I realized my husband and I had different ideas. I suggested we get matching desks and have them connected, facing each other.

My husband suggested we take a page from “I Love Lucy” and put masking tape down the center of the room to keep our sides — and our belongings — separate.

So we had to figure out how to best arrange the space to meet both our needs. As a writer and the manager of our family, I deal with a lot of paperwork. As a computer security consultant, my high-tech husband has very little paperwork. He didn’t want my paperwork (mess) spilling over onto his desk. Fair enough.

We decided that we’d each have desks facing the same direction (the door) with mine on one side and his on the other. Basically, we are sitting side-by-side but with a good-sized “aisle” between us.

I’ve got a filing cabinet behind me and one in my desk to help organize my paperwork. We have a shelving unit with our printer and other office supplies in one corner. We each have a large bookshelf as well for our books and other knick-knacks we like.

Working together but separately

One of the issues we’ve had to tackle is working together in the same room but doing completely different jobs. Because we aren’t doing the same work for the same company, we had to figure out how to make that work together.

We had some practice with this before sharing an office. If I had to schedule an article interview while the kids were home, I coordinated with my husband to make sure he could be available for kid duty.

Sharing the office works much the same way. If I’m scheduling an important interview, I check in with my husband’s schedule to avoid us both having important calls at the same time.

Every so often, we do have calls that overlap. In those instances, I leave the office and head to the kitchen table to do my call. I work from a laptop plugged into a monitor and am much more mobile than my husband in that regard.

Being noise considerate

One of the biggest issues in working from home together is dealing with noise. Work can be noisy. I generally work best with music on. My husband often needs to watch videos for work or has them on for background as he’s working. Other times, we need quiet.

But, our times for each of these things don’t always line up well. Sometimes I need my writing music while he is watching a video. Sometimes he needs to watch a video for work while I’m doing a phone interview. Headphones are awesome for helping us stay noise considerate of each other.

We don’t always use our headphones. There are times we don’t need to, but it’s nice to be able to pop in my noise canceling earbuds when I’m working on a big deadline and need to type to the soundtrack of “Riverdance” without distraction.

Being aware of call etiquette

Working from home almost always means that you’re going to have to make and take calls. Some are scheduled and some are random. I know, for example, that my husband has a conference call every weekday morning at 9 a.m.

So if I need to print something (which is a bit noisy), I’ll try and do so before or after his call. If I’m working in the other room (which happens more right now because I’m helping my 2nd grader with his schoolwork), I will try to get things I need from the office beforehand or wait until afterward.

We also pay attention if the other one gets or makes a call. If we have volume going on music or something else, we either pause it or switch to headphones.

The person on the phone or video call also usually uses headphones. We avoid speakerphone because neither of us needs to hear the entire conversation going on with the other person’s work.

If we have calls scheduled outside of usual times, we will often share that with one another just as a heads-up so we both know what to expect during the day.

Deciding on priority

This can be a touchy subject, but there are times we have to decide on whose work has the most priority. Right now when we are also virtual schooling, this is even more the case. For example, I have a weekly deadline on Mondays at noon. My husband knows this, so he will check in with me in between his work tasks to see if I need any help with schooling so I can work uninterrupted.

Speaking of schooling, we had to talk about who would be the point person in virtual schooling the kids. (For the majority of this school year, we have been virtually schooling by choice.) We talked ahead of time about how to make it happen along with our work. We determined I was in the better position to deal with schooling.

In our family, my husband’s job has higher priority because his is the steady, consistent income that also provides our family with health benefits. He also has a more rigid schedule for work than I do. So, we prioritize that higher. Each family and situation is different, but for us that’s what works best.

Finding good times to talk

While we give each other space and peace and quiet to work, we also do want to and enjoy talking with one another. The guy is my best friend! We’ve found one phrase that has helped so very much in working from home together: Is this a good time to talk? (Check out this post on improving communication in your marriage.)

We might want to run work-related ideas by each other, share a story about our kids, tell the other something funny we just read, go over finances or just about anything else. And all of that will go better if we both have the time and are in the head space to do so.

Because we usually have an idea what’s going on with the other’s work, we are almost always aware when is definitely NOT a good time to interrupt the other. And then we usually just wait. (Sometimes I make a note in my planner or set a reminder so I don’t forget to talk with my husband about the topic later. I get distracted by work, kids and life and thoughts can get lost!)

Helping each other

One of the neat things about working at home together is getting a chance to help each other with work. Back when I was the only one of us working from home, if I needed to bounce an idea off of someone or needed tech help, I’d have to wait until my husband got home. And then that only worked if we didn’t have anything else going on and if I remembered!

Working at home together, we have a co-worker with an outside perspective, which can be helpful to talk through an issue. We also can use our skills to help each other. Because my husband is a technology guru, he’s always been my tech guy. Nowadays he can even help me with smaller issues that pop up. Like if I’m having website trouble or need help figuring out a formatting issue in Excel.

And I can edit documents he has to write for work. Earlier this year, I was literally his hands after his shoulder surgery when he couldn’t type. He told me what to type for a report and I did so.

Working from home together gives my husband and me yet another way to be a team.

Knowing when to keep our mouths shut

Lest you think that working from home together is all roses, there are times we irritate with one another. I hate the sound of people chewing, especially crunching. So I’ve had times when my husband was having a snack that I popped in my headphones and cranked up the volume to not be so irritated.

I know I’ve irritated him as well. But just like with majority of time in our relationship, usually we’re irritated about something else that has nothing to do with our spouse!

Getting to see each other as professionals

Before we spent every day working from home together, I knew a bit of what my husband did and that he was good at it. Now that I hear him interacting with clients and doing research, I have a whole new appreciation for his work.

In the 26 years we’ve been together, I’ve seen him in many roles. Getting to regularly see him in his professional role is pretty cool.

Working from home together lets us celebrate our small work successes together. We get to cheer each other on. Having a co-worker who is always on your side and rooting for your best is priceless.

A family Christmas devotion book

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

A Family Christmas: 25 Days of 5-minute Family Christmas Devotions

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

While the Christmas season is all about celebrating God’s gift to us through His Son, Jesus, it is also a hectic time for most families — mine included! In the midst of the busyness, I don’t want to miss the real reason for the season. So I put together a Christmas devotion book for my family that I’m sharing with you as well.

All about the Christmas devotion book, “A Family Christmas”

Maintaining a home filled with grace, love and faith during hectic times is challenging. However, “A Family Christmas” helps your family do so for a few minutes each day Dec. 1 through 25. While each family is different, I estimate each devotion time will take around 5 minutes.

You’ll find a Bible verse (or two), a discussion question and a prayer for every day. The Bible verses are all included for you from the International Children’s Bible.

The discussion question allows you flexibility. Share from your own life and experiences. Spend as much or as little time as you want. Some days you may chat together for a few minutes while other days may go quicker.

Finally, the daily prayer can be read as written or you can pray your own prayer – however God is leading your heart.

I encourage you to make this devotion time part of your December routine. You can let your kiddos take turn reading the verses, leading the discussion or saying the prayer if you’d like. Or you can do all of that. Find what works best for your family and go with it!

I’m excited to share “A Family Christmas” with you through Amazon where you can download it for your e-reader or tablet for only $3 or for free if you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited. It will become a great part of your family’s Christmas traditions.

More Christmas traditions you’ll love

Two years ago I shared with you 8 simple Christmas traditions to bring your family closer. I think the simpler the tradition, the easier they are to maintain. The Christmas devotion book, “A Family Christmas” was inspired by one of those traditions.

One of my family’s traditions is to read a Bible verse of the Christmas story each night from Dec. 1 through 25. I built on that with the devotion book this year by keeping it simple, yet more impactful.

I combined the Bible verses with another tradition we have of unwrapping a Christmas book each night from Dec. 1 through 24. I usually buy a couple of new books each Christmas season. But most of the books I wrap we already owned. Then my kiddos get to unwrap one book each evening that we read at bedtime.

The bedtime Christmas book unwrapping and reading has been an awesome tradition my kiddos have loved since they were toddlers. If you’re looking to get this tradition started or in the market for some new Christmas books for kids, check out the following titles that are great reads for the holiday season!

Easy peanut butter cookies recipe

Posted on by Stacey A. Shannon

The peanut butter cookies recipe your family will love!

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

I’m the cookie maker in my family. Each Christmas season, I am the one in charge of making the cookies for our family. I’ve tried various recipes for different types of cookies. Some are great; others not so much. This peanut butter cookies recipe is one that has been around for a couple of decades because it is so easy and delicious!

After my toffee cookies, these peanut butter cookies are my most requested cookies from my family. Just like with my toffee cookies, the state of the butter when making the cookie dough makes all the difference.

I will also give you a heads up that this is a smaller cookie recipe that makes about 2 dozen cookies. Usually I double it when we are sharing these cookies with others.

Be sure to plan just a bit ahead with this peanut butter cookies recipe because the dough needs to chill in the refrigerator at least an hour before baking. (You can bake them without the chill time, they will just be a bit stickier as you are trying to shape them into balls and flatten them.)

Like with most cookie recipes, this one begins with creaming the sugars and butter. My family likes these peanut butter cookies a bit on the flat side that are soft inside with a slight crunch on the outside. In order to get that consistency, the butter should be almost all melted, instead of just softened. If you like thicker, fluffier cookies, then only soften your butter instead.

For cookies a bit thinner with a slight crunch outside and soft inside, almost melt your butter instead of just softening it.

Once your butter is ready, add in the sugar and brown sugar. Mix the butter and sugars together until well combined (creamed). You can do this by hand or with a mixer.

When it is all combined, stir in the peanut butter, egg and vanilla. Stir or beat until smooth. For measuring the peanut butter, my favorite tool is a cylindrical measuring cup because then you can just push out the peanut butter and not have to try and get it out of your regular measuring cup or scoop.

In a separate bowl combine your dry ingredients: flour, baking soda and baking powder. Gradually add the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix well.

Stick the dough in the fridge and let it chill for at least one hour. (I have chilled it overnight and even frozen this dough and thawed it a bit as well.) After it’s chilled, the dough will look something like this:

Shape the chilled peanut butter cookie dough into about 1-inch balls. Put them a couple inched apart on an un-greased baking sheet. I use parchment paper because it makes for easy clean-up!

Flatten each ball by crisscrossing the cookie with the tines of a fork that have been dipped in sugar.

Bake at 325-degrees for 10-12 minutes until the peanut butter cookies are a bit darker and set.

Let them cool for 1-2 minutes before removing them to a cooling rack. The peanut butter cookies will come out a bit “poofy” and settle after just a minute or two. Using a cooling rack helps these cookies get their slightly crispy outside. Store flat in a container for the best results. These peanut butter cookies are so soft inside, that they break apart easily if stored in a zip-top plastic bag.

Easy peanut butter cookies recipe

Print Recipe

Ingredients
  

  • 1/2 cup butter or margarine mostly melted (softened if you like your cookies thicker and fluffier)
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • Additional sugar

Instructions
 

  • Preheat the oven to 325-degrees.
  • In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugars together.
  • Add the peanut butter, egg and vanilla; beat until smooth.
  • In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking soda and baking powder. Add gradually to the creamed mixture and mix well.
  • Chill the dough for at least 1 hour in the refrigerator. (You can skip this step if you are short on time, just know that it will make the dough stickier to work with.)
  • Shape the chilled dough into 1-inch balls and place them 2-inches apart on an un-greased baking sheet.
  • Flatten each ball by crisscrossing it with the tines of a fork dipper in sugar.
  • Bake at 325-degrees for 10-12 minutes until slightly golden.
  • Remove and cool on the baking sheet for 1-2 minutes (until the "poofiness" is gone) before placing the cookies on a cooling rack to finish cooling completely. (The cooling rack helps these peanut butter cookies maintain a bit of a crunch on the outside.)
  • Store flat in a sealed container.

Families With Grace
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