Families With Grace

Helping Christian moms create homes filled with grace, love & faith

How to connect with God in the middle of raising a family

5 Ideas for busy Christian moms to connect with God

Finding ways to connect with God can be challenging for anyone. But Christian moms in the thick of raising children can really struggle to find ways to connect spiritually with God.

We are pulled in multiple directions at the same time, our thoughts are often interrupted and quiet time can be nearly nonexistent (especially for moms of littles!).

But finding ways to connect with God is important not only for our own spiritual walk but also for our spiritual leadership for our children. I want to demonstrate what a real-life relationship with God looks like to my kids. And I know the more in-tune I am with God, the better mom I am.

The struggle is certainly real, though. Being nearly 13 years into motherhood, I’ve had times where I felt more distant from God in the everyday pressures and busyness of raising children.

I never got away from Him, but finding time to spend with Him has been difficult at times in my life.

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Encouragement for moms of littles

When I had a toddler and baby and was getting almost no sleep at night, my brain could focus only on survival — and even that was iffy some days! During that phase of my life, I learned God knew exactly where I was and what my struggles were. Just because I was running low on time to read my Bible and pray for longer times, He knew right where I was. I was honoring and serving Him in taking care of the children He blessed me with.

Also during this time I was reminded of God’s grace. He knew my capacity and saw my struggle. I still remember a Sunday morning sermon from this time in my life. Well, I don’t remember the sermon itself. I got distracted by a verse that my pastor read from Isaiah.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

Our Father knows how difficult it is for moms with littles. He gently leads us. I didn’t need to feel guilty; I could just rest in Him. If you’re in that phase of life right now, know God isn’t angry with you when you don’t have as much time to spend with Him as you once did. Through the years, you will learn new ways to connect with Him — and that’s OK! In fact, that’s what this post is all about.

1. Utilize alone time in the bathroom.

My kids are now both in school all day, and I still struggle with finding alone time! That’s in part because my husband and I work from home together, but I know I’m not alone in this challenge. The most consistent alone time I have is when I’m in the shower and getting ready for the day. So, I use that time to connect with God.

It sounds weird to talk about getting spiritual in the bathroom, but it works. Even before I had children, I found that praying in the shower works well for me because I have no distractions or interruptions. I am performing a sort of mindless task and can focus on God more easily; I still continue to do that.

I usually spend about 10 minutes drying my hair on low with a diffuser (the joys of curly hair!). So, that’s when I read my devotion book and Bible then pray over requests on my prayer list I maintain in a free app on my phone.

I don’t shower every morning. If I do my hair turns to cotton candy! Plus, I also shower at night sometimes. So on those mornings, I start praying while I’m brushing my teeth. That may sound a bit silly, but it works for me to associate prayer with part of my routine.

More recently I’ve started listening to sermons while I’m getting ready. It started during the season of Lent and has continued. My absolute favorite is Sarah Jakes Roberts. She preaches the Word in such a relatable way. My daughter first discovered her. I checked her out to make sure she was OK for my 12-year-old and found that I love her just as much. She encourages me in my spiritual walk and connecting with God.

2. Connect with God in the car.

Another great time time to connect with God is in the car. This is true especially if you get alone time in the car. I’m at a phase of motherhood where that happens more regularly now as I’m driving to pick up the kids from school and such. I have used this time to listen to Sarah Jakes Roberts’ sermons, but what I do mostly is listen to Christian music.

Music is powerful and connects me with God more easily than anything else. Listening to Christian music helps me to focus on Him and reminds me of His presence. I maintain a Families with Grace playlist on Spotify that I usually listen to in the car (and while I work). Christian radio also works. And I continue the music with my kiddos in the car as well.

If you do happen to find yourself alone in the car, it can also be a great time to talk with God (eyes open, of course!). I’ve done that before, but more often I use car time for praise and worship music.

3. Get up early (or stay up late).

When my kids were little and at home all the time, I’d get up early to have quiet time with God before the day started. This was past the earlier days I mentioned with a toddler, a baby and minimal sleep. Having 15 minutes to read my devotion book and Bible and pray got my day started off well. It was often my only quiet time in the day.

If you aren’t a morning person, consider doing this at night before bedtime if you can. If your kids still take naps, use part of naptime to connect with God. Find something that works for you and your schedule, even if it isn’t every single day. Connecting with God isn’t an all or nothing activity. Small ways you connect with Him add up and help you grow spiritually.

4. Utilize resources to get into the Word.

This is my 2022 devotion book that I’m really enjoying.

I’ve been in church my entire life and have heard more times than I can count the importance of regularly getting into God’s Word. I agree completely, but what I don’t often hear is what that looks like and how to make that happen.

Honestly, if I pick up my Bible and just start reading at random, I don’t always get a lot out of it. My mind can start wandering even as I’m going through the words. I can struggle to connect what I’m reading to my own life.

For that reason, I most enjoy using a devotion book along with my Bible reading. I’ve used a variety of them through the years and do a different once each year. My 2022 devotion book is “Not Without You” by Natasha D. Frazier. (It’s free on Kindle Unlimited!) Each entry is relatively short, but packs a punch. It includes a focus verse but also additional verses for reading.

No matter what devotion book you pick, make sure it is focused on the Bible and encourages you to read from the Bible regularly. I enjoy having my devotion book on my Kindle and use the Kindle app on my phone along with the YouVersion Bible app to read. I love it’s all portable, so if I end up getting behind or not having a chance to read during my usual time, I can read anywhere I am when I am able to.

5. Have a verse of the day.

Reading your Bible and delving into God’s Word is important to help you connect with God and grow in your spiritual walk. Along with that, I’ve found having a verse of the day is helpful. Right now, I’m using a flip calendar on my desk that a friend gave me. It’s all about walking by faith and each day has a Bible verse or encouraging spiritual statement. It’s simple and I really like it.

Scripture cards are also a great way to focus on a verse a day. You can put them in an envelope or attach them with a ring binder clip and rotate through them to keep yourself encouraged and focused on God’s Word each day.

Party potatoes recipe

An easy cheesy hash brown casserole recipe your family will love!

Affiliate links are used in this post; if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

I love potatoes. I can’t think of a way to prepare a potato that I wouldn’t eat from fried to boiled to mashed to baked! But this party potatoes recipe is hands-down my most favorite potato recipe of all time. While this recipe is almost the same as the one my mom has made for years, it has a couple of slight differences to make it even creamier and oh-so-delicious!

Another bonus of this party potatoes recipe is it uses frozen hashbrowns, just like my slow cooker potato soup. You get to enjoy the potato-y goodness without having to scrub, peel or cut potatoes. And that makes this recipe even easier to come together. You basically mix together the ingredients and then bake them. Easy-peasy!

I will eat these potatoes fresh from the oven and reheat them for leftovers. I’d guess that you could freeze and reheat them later, but they never make it that long around my house.

When it comes to a cheesy hashbrown casserole like these party potatoes are, I think there’s never a wrong time to make them. I’ve made them for Thanksgiving and for cookouts. In my opinion, they go with just about anything and everything! (I told you I love them!)

Let’s get this party potatoes recipe started!

Like any oven recipe, start with preheating your oven to 350-degrees (F). Next, find the biggest bowl you have. I use a giant glass bowl I got at IKEA a few years ago, but any extra-large bowl will work. Pour in the whole 30-ounce bag of frozen shredded hash brown potatoes.

Plop two cans of either cream of potato or cream of chicken soup on top of the hash browns. I have made it with both types of soup and love it both ways. It really is up to you on that one. Maybe go with whatever you have on hand, is easiest to find or is cheapest. Either kind of soup works well in this party potatoes recipe.

Next, add in 2 cups of sour cream. I just plop it right on top of the hash browns and soup. (One of my favorite kitchen tools to make mealtime prep easier is this kind of measuring cup with a push-up bottom. It makes measuring out ingredients like sour cream so much easier!)

While other party potatoes recipes put the shredded cheese on top, this one mixes some right in with the hash browns for cheesy-ness all throughout. Add in 1-3/4 cup of shredded cheddar cheese.

And then, finally, add in 1 cup of grated Parmesan cheese. Shredded Parmesan cheese might work, but the grated works best for giving it more cheesiness flavor but without getting stringy. Combine all of the ingredients together in the bowl.

Get ready to bake!

Once the hash browns, soup, sour cream and cheeses are well combined, pour the mixture into a 3-quart baking dish that has been coated with non-stick cooking spray. Pat the mixture with a spoon so that it is even throughout the pan.

Sprinkle the hash brown potato mixture with 1/4 cup of shredded cheddar cheese — or whatever amount looks good to you. Honestly, I don’t measure out this part. I just keep sprinkling cheddar cheese until it’s well-coated, but I am totally a cheese lover!

Bake the party potatoes in your preheated 350-degree oven for 40-45 minutes until the cheese is melted. If you want, turn your broiler on low for 2 minutes to get the top slightly browned and bubbly. And then enjoy the delectable cheesy goodness!

Party Potatoes Recipe

With just a couple of easy steps, this cheesy party potatoes recipe is great for a side dish any time and ideal for carry-in dinners!
Prep Time 15 minutes
Cook Time 45 minutes
Total Time 1 hour
Course Side Dish
Cuisine American

Ingredients
  

  • 1 30-oz. package frozen, shredded hash brown potatoes
  • 2 10-3/4 oz. cans condensed cream of potato or cream of chicken soup, undiluted
  • 2 cups sour cream
  • 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese, divided
  • 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Instructions
 

  • Preheat your oven to 350-degrees (F) and spray a 3-quart baking dish with non-stick cooking spray. Set it aside.
  • In a very large bowl, combine the hash brown potatoes, soup, sour cream, 1-3/4 cups shredded cheddar cheese and grated Parmesan. Mix well.
  • Pat the hash brown mixture evenly into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle with the remaining shredded cheddar cheese (or however much your family would like!).
  • Bake, uncovered, for 40 to 45 minutes until the cheese is completely melted and bubbly. If desired, turn your broiler on low for 2 minutes to get the top even more browned.
  • Let it stand a few minutes before serving. Store any leftovers in the refrigerator.
Keyword carry-in, cheesy potatoes, Christmas, cookout, hashbrown casserole, pitch-in, potato casserole, Thanksgiving

First day of school traditions to start this year

7 Simple first day of school traditions to kick off the school year

Back-to-school season can be exciting, stressful and downright overwhelming — all at once! In fact, I recently shared a short video about how overwhelmed I felt with the back-to-school to-do list for my kiddos! There are so many things for us moms to do to get ready for the first day of school. But one of the things I don’t want to miss each year is making it a good day for my kiddos. So, we have a few simple first day of school traditions we do each year.

I’m emphasizing the word “simple” here, because not only are simple traditions easier to keep, but the first day of school is exhausting. Nobody wants added stress and pressure — kids or parents! Plus the first day of school tends to bring along a lot of emotions as well, so it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Honestly, I get back-to-school blues each year as my kids return to school.1. Interview your kids.

OK. I know this sounds a bit weird. But, listen, I’m a journalist by trade and I love interviewing my kids each year a day or two before they start school. I ask them about their favorites (food, books, movies, etc.), what they want to be when they grow up and what they’re most excited about for the new school year. Later on, it’s so fun to go back and see their answers. I video these interviews as well. I also do a little something else with them that you’ll find in tip number four!

And you can make the interview a keepsake as well with a decorative interview page like these I have in the Families with Grace Etsy store.

2. Prayer together for the new year.

Another first day of school tradition just before the first day is praying together about the school year. Our family has prayer time each evening as part of our bedtime routine. So, on the night before the first day of school I pray for the kids and their new school year. I also start praying weeks before on my own that God is with them throughout the school year and for specific concerns I have about the upcoming year for each of them.

3. Let them wear something new.

I always felt special getting to wear new clothes on the first day of school when I was a kid, so I’ve continued the tradition with my own kiddos. It doesn’t have to be an entirely new outfit, but just something new. For example, our school year starts mid-August which is still hot here in the Midwest. So my kids usually wear the shorts or pants they’ve been wearing all summer, but we pair it with a new shirt and new sneakers. (By the time their sneakers have survived summer, they are worn out and need to be replaced anyway!)

4. Turn first day of school photos into a cool “magazine” cover.

Every year I love making a “magazine” cover for my kiddos. I have done this since the year my daughter first started nursery school and have one for each of them for each year. It’s our version of a first day of school sign. I usually share the cover digitally with friends on social media and then print out a copy of it to go in their folder for the school year that I use to organize their school papers.

Along with a photo of the kids that I take in the morning before we leave, I include a lot of the information from their interview in tip one as well as other things like their shoe size and teacher’s name. (Seasoned mom tip: Get everyone up 10 minutes earlier than necessary on the first day of school so you aren’t super rushed through photos!)

I’ve got a template for sale in the Families with Grace store on Etsy if you want to make magazine covers part of your family’s first day of school traditions. Check it out:

5. Send a sweet lunchbox note.

If your kids take their lunch to school, send along a sweet lunchbox note. Honestly, I send notes daily because I really enjoy it. But I know that’s not everyone’s thing. However, I encourage you to send one on the first day to help your kids feel special and have a sweet token from home on their first day back to school.

(Check out these printable Bible verse lunchbox notes for kids and these Scripture cards that would work well for tweens and teens.)

6. Have a special dinner or treat.

When it comes to first day of school traditions, this is not too hard to pull off. Our tradition has been to pick the kids up from school and take them for an early dinner at Fazoli’s, because it is their favorite restaurant. Fazoli’s is pretty quick, which is what we’re looking for. If you’d rather, though, plan to make their favorite dinner at home. Or have a special treat to commemorate the day. I have a cousin whose first day of school tradition involved a cookie cake each year. Go with what your kids will like, but keep it low-key. They’ll be hungry and tired. The biggest goal is to have time together to hear all about their days. For our family, letting someone else do the cooking means we get to have those conversations all together easier. And going out for dinner on a school night is a treat!

(Looking for a super simple homemade treat? Try this easy hack to make a boxed brownie mix so fudgy good or these easy baked sopapillas using flour tortillas!)

7. Plan for a quiet evening.

Everyone is tired on the first day of school, no matter how much you’ve been preparing for it. When my kids were little and just getting into the school groove, we’d start a week ahead of the first day and practice getting up earlier each day and making sure we were ready on time. Now they are older, and we’ve been at this longer. So, we have our school morning system down pretty well. (It also helps that they go to a K-12 school and always have the same start time!)

But no matter what, the first day back is exciting and exhausting. Planning some big celebration that night is just not going to go well. Let them be low-key on their first day back to school. Maybe even plan to watch a movie together!

What are your family’s first day of school traditions?

Biscuit muffin recipe

An easy biscuit recipe with only 3 ingredients!

Affiliate links are used in this post; if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Considering I’ve shared recipes for pumpkin bread, protein-packed banana bread, bacon ranch cheese bread and the perfect yeast rolls, it’s pretty obvious I love bread. So when my daughter came home from spending time with my in-laws raving about a new biscuit muffin recipe, I knew I would be on board!

I had trouble believing that three ingredients could turn into biscuits, but they did. Even better is they are ingredients we have at home. And since they take about 20 minutes from start to finish, they are great for weeknight dinners. This biscuit muffin recipe is definitely entering into our recipe rotation!

Making the dough

This recipe calls for self-rising flour. If you usually like all-purpose flour like I do, you can easily make it self-rising by adding 1-1/2 teaspoon baking powder and 1/4 teaspoon salt for each cup of flour. My daughter made it with self-rising flour with her Nana. With me she made it with all-purpose that we turned into self-rising. The biscuits turned out well both times. If you have all-purpose flour only, then your recipe will change to 5 ingredients with the salt and baking powder. But still not so bad, right?!

Get your oven preheating to 375-degrees, and then start by putting 2 cups of self-rising (or “doctored” all-purpose) flour into a large mixing bowl.

Next, pour in 1 cup of milk.

Finally, add 3 heaping tablespoons of mayonnaise. My daughter made these quite “heaping” when we made them. So good!

And then you want to make sure you stir the dough ingredients for this biscuit muffin recipe well together to combine them. Depending on the humidity or lack thereof, your dough may seem a bit dry. You can add up 1/4 cup additional milk if needed. You want the dough to be thick and a bit sticky, like this:

Baking the biscuit muffins

You’re ready to bake! Distribute your biscuit dough evenly into a muffin pan. Although my Rachael Ray muffin pan is non-stick, I still do a light spritz of non-stick cooking spray into the pan before adding the dough. We filled our muffin cups about 3/4 full, but they probably ought to be 2/3 full. I think this biscuit muffin recipe could certainly make 12 biscuit muffins; however, we ended up with only nine.

Bake the biscuit muffins at 375-degrees for 14 to 16 minutes until they are starting to get golden around the edges. They will still be pretty white like biscuits rather than golden like yeast rolls.

If you want, melt about 3 tablespoons of butter just before removing the biscuit muffins from the oven and brush butter over the tops. So delicious!

You can serve them however you’d like. Use them as a side along your meal.

Or make them into their own entree. The night we made them, I turned a couple into breakfast sandwiches for myself. One had precooked bacon with grape jelly and the other had a scrambled egg made in the microwave.

Serve them up warm or at room temperature. Put leftovers into a zip-top bag and store for up to 3 to 5 days.

Biscuit muffins

With just three ingredients, this biscuit muffin recipe is such an easy biscuit recipe you'll make it regularly!
Prep Time 5 minutes
Course Bread, Side Dish
Cuisine American

Ingredients
  

  • 2 cups self-rising flour (Or add 3 teaspoon baking powder and 1/2 teaspoon salt to all-purpose flour)
  • 1 cup milk
  • 3 heaping tablespoons mayonnaise
  • 3 tablespoons butter optional

Instructions
 

  • Preheat your oven to 375-degrees.
  • Place the flour in a large mixing bowl.
  • Pour in 1 cup of milk and then add 3 heaping tablespoons of mayonnaise.
  • Whisk together well. If the mixture is too dry, add up to 1/4 cup of additional milk until the dough is thick and sticky.
  • Distribute the dough into a muffin pan that has been coated with non-stick cooking spray. Fill the cups 2/3 full to get 12 biscuit muffins or 3/4 full to get 9 biscuit muffins.
  • Bake at 375-degree for 14 to 16 minutes until the edges are just slightly browned. Because they are biscuits, they will be more white than golden like yeast rolls.
  • If desired, melt 3 tablespoons of butter and immediately spread over the biscuits. Serve them warm or at room temperature.
Keyword 3 ingredients, biscuit muffins, biscuits, bread, easy recipe, weeknight biscuit

Sugar cream squares recipe

A 5-ingredient, family-favorite sugar cream squares recipe

As a lifelong Hoosier, I’m quite familiar with sugar cream pie. It’s certainly popular here. But I don’t enjoy many pies and, honestly, I don’t really like sugar cream pie. (I know. My Hoosier “card” may be revoked for saying so!) However, growing up, my aunt often made this sugar cream squares recipe. And those I love.

When we went to St. Louis last year, I was excited to try its gooey cake. When I did, I found that it tasted a lot like this sugar cream squares recipe, but it wasn’t quite the same. Ever since then, I’ve had a hankering for these delectable squares, so I had to pull out the old family recipe and make some for us.

I’ve eaten this recipe many times, but I hadn’t yet made it myself. I was surprised to find it only takes five ingredients and is so incredibly easy. Sometimes when we have something nostalgic, it almost takes away the magic of it when we make it ourselves (or maybe that’s just me!). But this was just as good. It tastes like childhood in a creamy, sugary, sweet way. My family devoured it.

One other item of note is that this recipe uses cream cheese. I’m a longtime proponent of not using cream cheese in most dessert recipes. I feel like it almost always belongs solely in the savory foods category. But, I’m totally on board with it in this sugar cream squares recipe. Probably mixing in all the powdered sugar helps!

Affiliate links are used in this post; if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. Read my full disclosure here.

The first layer

First, get your oven preheating to 350-degrees and then start with making the crust or bottom layer. Melt one stick of butter or margarine. I do this in the microwave, usually at about 60 or 70% power. Then stir in 1 yellow cake mix and one egg. It will come together as a thick mixture/dough like this:

Next, put your crust mixture in the bottom of a 9×12 cake pan. My Rachael Ray cake pan is great for not sticking, but if you’re unsure, spray yours with a bit of non-stick cooking spray.

Spread the mixture as evenly as possible over the bottom of the pan to form the crust in this sugar cream squares recipe.

Set the pan aside and make the second layer next.

The second layer

Next up in this sugar cream squares recipe is the second or top layer. Soften your cream cheese if it isn’t already, and place it in a large mixing bowl. I made the top layer in my stand mixer to save my arm some work, but you could definitely do this by hand as well. Add 3-1/2 cups of powdered sugar to the bowl with the softened cream cheese.

Stir or beat them together well until they are combined.

Once they are combined well, add in two eggs and keep mixing until the eggs are totally incorporated. The mixture will should have the consistency of cake batter or a runny pudding.

Pour the cream cheese mixture over the top of the crust layer and spread it evenly in your pan.

Time to bake

Put the sugar cream squares into your preheated oven at 350-degrees and bake for 35 to 40 minutes until it’s golden brown. I baked mine for 38 minutes and until it looked like this:

Let the sugar cream squares cool in the pan for at least 10 minutes before cutting them. The great thing about this sugar cream squares recipe is that they are delicious warm and delicious at room temperature. Either way, I know your family will love them as much as mine does!

(Keep scrolling past the printed recipe to find a video of the recipe!)

Sugar cream squares

With only five ingredients, this sugar cream squares recipe is as easy to make as it is delicious to eat. It'll become a family favorite!
Prep Time 3 minutes
Total Time 50 minutes
Course Dessert
Cuisine American

Ingredients
  

  • 1 stick butter (or margarine) melted
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 15.25-oz. yellow cake mix
  • 8 oz. cream cheese softened
  • 3-1/2 cups powdered sugar

Instructions
 

  • Preheat your oven to 350-degrees.
  • Melt the butter and mix it with the yellow cake mix and one egg. The mixture will be thick.
  • Spread the mixture evenly in the bottom of a 9×12 cake pan. If the pan is not non-stick, then apply some non-stick cooking spray to the bottom of the pan first.
  • In a large mixing bowl, soften the cream cheese. Add 3-1/2 cups of powdered sugar and mix it thoroughly by hand or with a mixer.
  • Add two eggs into the cream cheese mixture and continue mixing until it is well combined.
  • Pour the cream cheese mixture over the top of the cake mixture already in the pan. Spread it evenly over the top.
  • Bake at 350-degrees for 35 to 40 minutes until golden brown on top. Cool for at least 10 minutes before cutting. Serve either warm or at room temperature.
Keyword 5 ingredient dessert, easy dessert, family recipe, Hoosier pie, sugar cream, sugar cream pie, sugar cream squares

Dealing with addiction in marriage

How your marriage can survive addiction

I’m excited to share this blog post about dealing with addiction in marriage with you. This isn’t something I’ve dealt with personally and appreciate Charlotte Walker of HomeSafetyHub.com taking on this difficult topic for Families with Grace. She has some helpful ideas for guiding your marriage through a struggle with addiction. Charlotte herself has been passionate about safety her whole life and enjoys writing about topics related to homes and home life. (Don’t miss her other guest post about house hunting with your family!)

While any relationship worth having takes effort, if you are dealing with addiction in marriage, then it’s going to take even more effort from you and your spouse to survive. Addiction is responsible for tearing many families apart, but that does not mean your marriage is destined for failure.

Discuss the problem

Having a conversation with your spouse about facing their addiction can be overwhelmingly scary; however, it is necessary in order to move forward. While the discussion may be uncomfortable for you both, some measure of discomfort is inevitable when seeking change. If you continue to choose not to speak up about the issue, your spouse may take your silence as condoning their behavior, which makes you an enabler. 

Whether you decide to talk to your spouse alone or through a family and friend-assisted intervention, it’s best to do it when they are not under the influence, tired or upset. Keep in mind that your spouse may not be open to admitting they have a problem, and you can almost count on some type of denial or minimization at first. However, you must be persistent in your efforts to break down the walls and discuss how their substance abuse is hurting you and what needs to be done as far as recovery. 

Once your spouse opens up and admits to having a problem, begin discussing their options for treatment. There are outpatient and inpatient treatment options available, but if this is their first time being treated for addiction, encourage them to stay at a residential drug rehab facility for a minimum of 30 days. An inpatient facility will give them time away from distractions and bad habits while providing a safe space for them to detox and begin the recovery process. 

Forgive them

Undoubtedly, your spouse’s addiction has caused you a lot of pain and turmoil, which doesn’t make it easy to forgive. However, if you really want to save your marriage, then it’s necessary to get to the root of the issue, let it go and move forward. Even if you and your spouse decide to temporarily separate to sort through the issues, forgiveness is imperative to repair and reestablish the relationship. 

Your first step to forgiveness is to gain an understanding of the addiction and start looking at it as a disease that is separate from the actual addict themselves. It may be necessary for this breakthrough to come in marriage therapy. Even though your spouse may have hurt you or made poor decisions while under the influence, remember it was the addiction that caused them to lose control of their actions. You may be hurting, but keep in mind that your partner is plagued by guilt as they realize their mind and body has been consumed by addiction.

Understanding the process of addiction will help you gain clarity and compassion for your spouse, which will make it easier for you to forgive them. While being empathetic toward your spouse does not minimize what you have been through, remember that forgiveness also benefits you by giving you a mental sense of wellbeing. 

Be supportive

In order for your spouse to have a fighting chance at beating their addiction, they will need your full support. Having your support will give them the confidence needed to trust themselves and regain control of their lives. You can offer support by attending group meetings with them, which will also give you a deeper look into the reasons behind their addiction and ways you can help them cope in the future.

Also support them making healthy decisions, like creating a healthy work-life balance. By learning to say “no,” delegating tasks at work and prioritizing your tasks, you can develop a routine that allows you to devote more time to personal matters. 

A workout routine can really help battle addiction. It’s not easy to do physical activity in an altered state, and working out will help with sleep as well as help them feel good about being sober. It can also help manage stress, which is a big part of recovery.

Battling an addiction is never easy, and a substance abuse disorder can have detrimental effects on a marriage. You and your spouse will have to go through a painful healing process, but with patience, support and love, your relationship can survive this difficult time.

Find more help

Don’t be afraid to seek help for your struggle with in addiction in marriage. Find a wide array of resources from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline. Connecting locally with a Celebrate Recovery Group, a Christian program for all kinds of addictions, can also be helpful.

Slow cooker potato chili recipe

A simple summer dinner idea!

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I’ve got another simple summer dinner idea for you this week: slow cooker potato chili. It’s an easy recipe that has you using your stove before the day gets hot. Your slow cooker does the rest of the work.

I love making food in my slow cooker because I can do it early in the day and then basically forget about it. The last time I made this potato chili, for example, we had a play date at the park and came home hungry right at dinner time. It was perfect to come into our house with dinner ready for us. And this slow cooker potato chili recipe is a nice mix of meat and potatoes with just a hint of spice that is delish on a hot summer day (or a cold winter day!). Honestly, it’s a year-round weeknight family dinner you’ll love!

Prepping the ingredients

Start with getting your ground beef cooking. For us, I used 1/2 pound of ground beef. You can use up to 1-1/2 pounds if your family loves meat or you’re feeding a lot of people. My family isn’t big on eating meat, so using 1/2-pound to serve the four of us this potato chili was perfect. You want to crumble, brown and then drain your ground beef. (You could also use ground turkey or ground pork for this. I actually tossed in a small amount of mild Italian sausage with my ground beef that I had left from another recipe.)

Cooking the meat is the only active cooking you’ll do for this potato chili recipe. If you have cooked and crumbled ground beef in your freezer (like I often do), then you don’t even have to do this step!

While the meat is cooking, you want to prep your salsa and your potatoes. I use mild salsa for my family because the majority of us are not into spicy food, but you could certainly use medium or even hot salsa if you family likes spicy. A quirk of some of my family members is also that they don’t like things chunky. So when we have salsa at home for any reason, I puree it in my food processor. Using it in this recipe, I do the same thing, but you can totally skip this step if you don’t mind some chunks in your potato chili.

For the potatoes, you want to dice them up. I cut them relatively small, but they could have been even a bit smaller. You can use Yukon gold potatoes, but I love these petite gold potatoes. Even better, they come pre-washed, so all I have to do is cut them! In a pinch, you could also use southern-styled frozen hash browns just like in this easy slow cooker potato soup.

Putting it together in the slow cooker

The very first thing I do before making anything in my slow cooker is to line the slow cooker. It makes clean-up a million times easier! Making this potato chili recipe is no different.

If you don’t use slow cooker liners, give your slow cooker a bit of a light covering of non-stick cooking spray. Then pile all of your ingredients, except the cheese and sour cream, into the slow cooker. I add meat first.

Then add in the 1.5 pounds of potatoes.

Next, pour in 16 ounces of salsa (pureed or not).

After that, add in 1 can of condense cream of potato soup.

Finally, add 1 tablespoon of chili seasoning.

Give everything a good stir so it’s combined, put the lid on your slow cooker and set the temperature to low.

Cooking and serving the potato chili

Let your potato chili hang out on low in your slow cooker for about 8 hours until the potatoes are tender. I stir it every couple of hours because I work from home and can do so. Here is what it looks like about halfway through the day:

Finally, when it is all finished, it looks like this:

Spoon the potato chili out into bowls and serve it warm. It’s so yummy! My daughter and I like to add black beans to ours. So I open a can of them, strain them and then we add them in to our individual bowls. (The potato chili is so hot, that we don’t even need to heat the beans.) You can use any beans your family likes. If you want to add them into the slow cooker to cook all day, that also works. It just isn’t an option for my family.

We have also added frozen corn in with the potato chili and love the flavor it brings. You can put the frozen corn into the slow cooker from the beginning or steam it in the microwave and then add it in to individual bowls. So good!

And then my own philosophy is that cheese and sour cream make any chili better. That’s true for this potato chili as well, so I top mine with shredded cheddar cheese and a dollop of sour cream.

My family likes to eat this potato chili with corn chips that we can scoop the chili with, but you can also try it with tortilla chips or crackers if you prefer. Either way, it’s a hearty, filling dinner that won’t heat up your kitchen on hot summer evenings!

Slow cooker potato chili

An easy slow cooker potato chili perfect for weeknight family dinners
Prep Time 20 minutes
Cook Time 8 hours
Total Time 8 hours 20 minutes
Course Main Course
Cuisine American
Servings 4 people

Ingredients
  

  • 1/2 pound ground beef, pork or turkey can use up to 1/1-2 pound depending on your family's preferences or to feed more
  • 1-1/2 pound gold potatoes, cubed
  • 1 16 oz. jar salsa
  • 1 10.5 oz. can condensed cream of potato soup
  • 1 tablespoon chili powder
  • 1 15.25-oz. can black beans optional
  • 1 12-oz. bag frozen corn optional
  • 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese optional
  • 1/2 cup sour cream optional

Instructions
 

  • Cook ground meat in a large skillet until browned and crumbly. Drain the meat and put it into a 5- to 7-quart slow cooker that is lined with a slow cooker liner or lightly sprayed with non-stick cooking spray.
  • If desired, puree the salsa in a food processor to avoid chunks. If not, move on to the next step.
  • Add the diced potatoes, salsa, cream of potato soup and chili powder. If desired, add 1 15.25-oz can of strained black beans and/or 1 12-oz. bag of frozen corn. (You can also add the black beans and corn to individual bowls after the potato chili cooks. The beans can go in at room temperature, but heat the frozen corn before adding it.
  • Cook in the slow cooker on low temperature for 8 hours, until the potatoes are tender.
  • Serve with optional shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream on top.
Keyword chili, crock pot, ground beef, ground beef recipe, meat and potatoes, potato chili, slow cooker

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Grace-filled sibling relationships

20 ways Christian moms can encourage good sibling relationships

When my husband and I talked about having kids, we talked about sibling relationships and what we wanted for our kids. Before deciding for sure to add a second child to our family, we talked about it even more. Sibling relationships can be wonderful, but they can also be complicated.

Both my husband and I have older brothers, and we have different relationships with them. From the beginning of our parenthood journey, we have worked to be intentional in encouraging grace-filled sibling relationships for our kids. We want them to be friends. Our prayer and desire is for them to be close and be able to turn to one another throughout their entire lives.

Now 9 and 12, my children do get along well. They enjoy spending time together. (And they also enjoy spending time apart!) They aren’t perfect, but all-in-all they have a good, solid relationship. They look out for each other and often, my youngest has more courage to try new things with his big sister than with anyone else, including me! My husband and I continue to be intentional about encouraging their sibling relationship and helping keep it on the right track.

20 ways to encourage good sibling relationships

So today I’m sharing 20 ways to encourage good sibling relationships based on our experiences. I even talked to my kiddos for their input for this post!

1. Remind your kids that they have each other and always will.

From the time our youngest was born, we have told our kiddos they have to stick together. Reminding your children that they have a special bod in their sibling relationship is important. Friends will come and go, but siblings will be around for most of their life. And that’s a bond to celebrate and grow. After all, as we remind our kids, nobody else in the world knows what it’s like growing up with their dad and me as parents. So they can always bond over that!

2. Don’t compare your kids to each other.

I know this can be tricky. After all, our experiences as parents rest solely on our experiences with our own children. But our kids have their own strengths and weaknesses. Comparing them to one another only serves to drive a wedge between them, and that’s not at all what we want to do. It’s difficult to not resent someone who your parents are telling you is better at something than you are. With that in mind, be careful to not compare in subtle ways either. Praise and discipline as equally and fairly as possible.

3. Speak positively about their siblings to your kiddos.

A great way to encourage good sibling relationships is by saying good things about your kids to their siblings. Of course we have grouses and gripes with our kids, but focusing on those and complaining about them to their siblings is only going to weaken that relationship. Instead, mention to your daughter how funny her brother is. Or point out to your son how kind his sister is. This helps our kids learn to look for the positive attributes in one another rather than focus on the negative ones.

4. Don’t allow negative talk between them.

When it comes to positive language, don’t allow your kids to bad-mouth each other to each other or to other people. Your kids won’t always get along (mine certainly don’t), but there’s a difference between having a disagreement and being mean to each other. We don’t tolerate name-calling and putdowns in our family, including between our children. Our kids also aren’t allowed to bad-mouth their sibling to their friends or others. Doing so only hurts that sibling relationship.

One bonus we’ve found to this rule is that our kids’ friends treat the sibling kindly also. For example, the friends of my 12-year-old daughter are kind to our 9-year-old son and even say hello to him at school whenever they see him, regardless if our daughter is around.

5. Let them have a chance to work through conflicts but step in to help resolve the conflict when necessary.

Part of teaching our kids is helping them know how to work through conflict with other people. Managing sibling conflict is a great way to start, because our family should always be our safe place. But we want to make sure conflict is resolved in a positive way. Early on, my husband and I had to help our kids with resolving conflict much more often. Nowadays, however, I hear them have a disagreement and figure out a compromise without flying off the handle. There are still times we have to step in when someone is getting frustrated, but they are learning and growing. No relationship is perfect and learning how to resolve conflict in a positive way is important.

6. Create an attitude of grace throughout your home.

One of my biggest goals as a Christian mom is to create a home filled with grace, faith and love. And that attitude of grace extends throughout the entire family. We continue to work on helping our kids learn to give grace to each other (and us as well). One of the biggest ways we have done this is practicing a small attitude shift as a family in assuming the people we love are not intentionally trying to hurt us. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt goes a long way to forging better relationships.

7. Make opportunities for family fun.

The best relationships we have are those in which we have fun together. Sibling relationships are no different. Come up with ways to have fun as a family and put your kids together in fun ways. One of my kids’ favorite things right now is planning a family yes day. We pick a day and their dad and I have to say yes to whatever they ask us (with some rules). They work together to plan a fun day, and we all giggle together. Other times, it’s small ways that we have fun like having a water balloon fight, going out for ice cream as a surprise treat and playing games together.

8. Develop your own family traditions.

We often have family traditions for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but having smaller traditions is just as important. Sometimes these traditions can look like routines. For instance, each evening before bedtime, our family gathers to pray and read. Usually we read chapter books. We’ve read through the entire Harry Potter series, part of Percy Jackson and are now nearly finished with “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” from C.S. Lewis. We know that each evening, we have 15 to 20 minutes as a family that we don’t do anything else, and we love that time! These traditions and routines help our kids feel closer to each other as well as to my husband and me.

9. Pray together as a family.

That evening time we have to pray together is great for building sibling relationships as well. We don’t go for super long prayers that are highly personal and in-depth. Instead, we talk about people we know who need prayer. In joining together in prayer for someone or something, our children’s relationship only deepens and grows in ways that matter most.

10. Have dinner together at least a few nights a week.

If you can’t manage dinner together every night, then at least make it a priority a few nights a week. During the school year, we have dinner together at the table nearly every night. During the summertime, we are a little more lax and have dinner together while watching a favorite show or movie a couple of times a week. Having that time to eat and talk about what’s going on in our lives is important and helps grows our kids’ relationship. It gives them a chance to be more involved in each other’s lives and happenings. They learn more about each other and what’s important to each other.

11. Support each other’s activities and interests.

We do our best to encourage our kids to support each other’s activities and interests. If there is a school program or performance or anything else, we expect everyone to go and be supportive of the other. This past school year, for example, our daughter was a manager of the middle school track and field team. So, her dad, brother and I showed up for and even volunteered at some of the meets. While our kids go to the same school, their concerts are on different nights. We expect them to go along for their sibling’s performance and be just as excited for them. Knowing that you sibling supports you goes a long way toward bettering your sibling relationship!

12. Pray for their relationship.

We’ve got so many things to pray about for our kids, so it might be easy to overlook praying for their sibling relationships. But don’t forget that. I have prayed from the beginning that my kids have a good, strong and healthy relationship. I want them to enjoy each other and like each other, not just love each other. So I ask God for help in growing their relationship together and guiding my husband and me to raise them in a way that draws them together rather than apart.

13. Help them grow in their own relationships with God.

It’s important to help our kids grow in their own relationships with God as well. Their relationship with God impacts every part of their lives and all of their relationships. The closer they are to God and growing in Him, the more loving and caring they’ll be with everyone — including their siblings! (Don’t miss this free printable of a parents’ prayer to help you pray for yourself as you are raising your children.)

14. Watch and listen to wholesome content.

We don’t only watch and listen to Christian entertainment, but we are careful about what our kids are exposed to. Some movies and shows just aren’t appropriate for them due to bad language, inappropriate content and wrong attitudes. The more they are exposed to those things, the more normal those things seem and the more likely they are to behave differently. If we’re watching something and see siblings working against each other, we talk about it with our kids. What should the characters have done?

And I am a huge proponent of listening to Christian music. It’s hard for me to be grumpy with the kids or for them to argue with one another when praise music is playing. Sometimes if they start getting short with each other in the car, I turn up the worship songs until they can’t help but laugh and move on. It works!

20 ways to encourage good sibling relationships

15. Promote teamwork.

We’re big on family teamwork. And family teamwork includes giving our kids a chance to work together on tasks. They may grumble sometimes while cleaning their bathroom (hey, it happens!), but in the end they feel accomplished together for what they did. Having a chance to work as a team and take pride in what they do together strengthens sibling relationships.

16. Encourage playtime together.

When our children were younger, they were more inclined to play with each other because they didn’t have much choice. Nowadays, one of our kids is old enough that she’s not as into playing while the other is still at an age where he enjoys playtime. So sometimes we require them to play together. That can look like anything from pretend play to doing art together to building something together to even watching a certain series together. The goal is to make sure our kids get time to spend together in a playful way and enjoy each other’s company.

17. Protect their time together.

Speaking of spending time together enjoying one another’s company, we must protect our kids’ time together. I’m big on not over-scheduling our kids. I want my kids to have a chance to be bored and to find their own things to do. That also means we aren’t so overscheduled that they don’t have time to be with one another. Protect their time so they can have time together as well. Having time together in positive ways is an important part of building strong sibling relationships.

18. Have one-on-one time with them.

Spending time one-on-one with your kids can strengthen their bond with each other. No matter how old they are, our kids want our attention. They want to know we are listening and paying attention to them. Making sure to find ways to have one-on-one time with them helps them not be resentful of each other seeming to get more attention at different times. Our family has found a variety of ways to do this. Right now what’s working best for us is to allow each of our kids to have 20-30 minutes of one-on-one (or two-on-one) time with us after bedtime two nights a week. We read through special books or just talk during that time.

19. Travel together.

No matter how big or small the trip, traveling together is a great way to grow family bonds and strengthen sibling relationships. We have made memories on bigger trips like to Orlando, Fla., and the Grand Canyon as well as on smaller trips like camping in a nearby state park. Even day trips and staycations count. Basically any time spent out of the daily grind works!

20. Reminisce together — even the about the crazy moments!

Take time every so often to reminisce together. I love memory photos that come up on social media or through my Google Photos. I often show them to my kids as well. Showing them things we’ve done that they’ve forgotten or how they snuggled together when they were small help them feel closer. One of the fun things about family and siblings is having memories with them that nobody else in the world has. Don’t forget to help your kids remember those moments that connect them!

Easy baked sopapillas using flour tortillas

A simple summer dinner dessert idea!

Continuing on with the simple summer dinner ideas, I must include a simple summer dessert idea: easy baked sopapillas! I have a sweet tooth all year long. But I don’t want to spend forever in the kitchen or hours with my oven on during hot weather. I love desserts that are easy and delicious — perfect for hot summer days.

One of my favorite summer desserts is this whipped pudding pie recipe my family loves. But lately we’ve also been loving these easy baked sopapillas using flour tortillas. My daughter, actually, is the person who usually makes them for us. They are a perfect ending to a summer meal, especially something Mexican like this stuffed peppers skillet recipe.

Another bonus to these baked sopapillas is that they use ingredients I always have on hand, so I don’t have to plan ahead for them. Win-win!

Getting started

Preheat your oven to 400-degrees. Line two baking sheets with non-stick aluminum foil or parchment paper. This makes for easier clean-up. If you don’t have either, then be sure to spray the baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray or grease it with butter.

Next, melt 3 tablespoons of butter. I usually do this in a small bowl in the microwave.

Place four flour tortillas on your prepared baking sheets. I use taco-sized flour tortillas for these baked sopapillas and can usually fit two per baking sheet.

Brush each tortilla with melted butter to cover the top well.

Sprinkle each with about 1 tablespoon of cinnamon sugar. I usually have premade cinnamon sugar to make life easier around here because we like it on so many things. But it’s super easy to make yourself if you don’t have it. Just mix 1/2 cup sugar with 2 tablespoons of ground cinnamon.

Baking the sopapillas

Put the baking sheets in the preheated oven and bake for about 8 minutes until golden brown and crispy. If you are using two baking sheets, switch them on the racks about halfway through for even more even baking. The baked sopapillas may bubble up a bit, which is completely fine!

Serve the baked sopapillas warm. Top them with whipped cream, cherries, chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream and/or honey if desired. Usually we keep it simple with whipped cream and cherries. My son, however, loves them most just plain. No matter how you serve them up, these baked sopapillas are delicious!

Easy baked sopapillas using flour tortillas

Stacey A. Shannon
A super easy cinnamon tortilla dessert
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 8 minutes
Total Time 13 minutes
Course Dessert
Cuisine Mexican
Servings 4 people

Ingredients
  

  • 4 flour tortillas taco size
  • 3 tablespoons butter melted
  • 4 tablespoons cinnamon sugar (or mix 1/2 cup sugar with 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon)
  • whipped cream optional
  • cherries optional
  • chocolate sauce optional
  • honey optional
  • vanilla ice cream optional

Instructions
 

  • Preheat the oven to 400-degrees.
  • Place 4 tortillas on a baking sheet(s) lined with non-stick aluminum foil or parchment paper. (Or at least sprayed with non-stick cooking spray.)
  • Brush each tortilla with butter.
  • Sprinkle the tortillas with the cinnamon sugar, about 1 tablespoon per tortilla. If needed, use your clean fingers or a spoon to make sure the cinnamon sugar is spread over the tortilla.
  • Put the tortillas in the oven for 8 minutes until golden brown and crispy.
  • Serve topped with whipped cream, cherries, chocolate sauce, vanilla ice cream and/or honey, if desired. Enjoy!
Keyword baked sopapillas, dessert, easy dessert, sopapillas, sopapillas with flour tortillas, weeknight dessert

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Finding myself again after having a baby

Motherhood changes everything, even your identity

I originally wrote these words in May of 2013 when my son was 4 months old and my daughter was 3 years old. Having a baby changes everything and finding myself again after having a baby was challenging. Even now that my kids are 9 and 12, I still have trouble with loses my unique identity in the busyness of motherhood.

When my daughter was born 3-1/2 years ago, I remember once the fog lifted a bit, I wondered when or if I’d ever feel like myself again. In a way, I mourned the Stacey I once was. I didn’t know if I’d ever feel anything like her again. I was both OK with that and sad about that. But I had to wonder whether if finding myself again would ever happen.

I remember the first day I returned to my home office to work for a couple of hours while my mom watched my baby girl. Even though my breast pump came with me and I did a pumping session whilst typing away, I felt for those couple of hours like the me I used to be and it was glorious. 

During her lifetime, I’ve found a way to sort of balance it all out. I’ve gotten breaks and chances to be a journalist. I’ve gotten breaks and chances to be a wife. And I’ve gotten breaks and chances to be more than a mom. Because, if all of us moms are honest, sometimes we need to be someone other than mommy. Sometimes we need to be more than a kleenex, jungle gym, dairy cow, bottom wiper, clothes changer, laundry doer and food maker. Sometimes we need to be a woman. We need moments to just be silent. And we need to have a moment to think in peace.

Losing myself again with a second baby

I knew I’d deal with these feelings again when I had a second baby. And I have. I love my son just as completely as I love my daughter, even when he’s being high maintenance as he sometimes is. I love him even now when he’s kicking me in the arm while I’m trying to type this blog post as my daughter is distracted working on a bracelet (and never you mind that they’re both still in their pajamas and it’s almost 11 a.m.). I’m now getting just enough sleep and have been in this mom-of-a-baby phase long enough that I’ve started on the journey of finding myself again. Or trying to.

Last week I had a chance to be in the car by myself for a few minutes while my children were at my parents’ house before our birthday celebration. It was just a few minutes. I realized I could not only listen to the music of my choosing but I could turn it up. I could sing along at the top of my lungs and not have to try and have an ongoing conversation with a constantly chatting 3-year-old. For those few minutes I realized that I was still me. And I also realized the old, old Stacey is gone. I am now Mom Stacey. Somehow I’m OK with it.

Finding myself in a new way

Though being a mom drains me sometimes. Though it sucks my energy and occasionally makes me want to run away screaming, it also makes me who I am now. And it makes me happy. I’d be lying if I told you I was happy every single moment of motherhood. I’m not. But at my very core, being a mother is now who I am.

Being with my children can also re-energize me. Looking at their faces and meeting their needs sometimes keeps me going and moving on days when I otherwise would want to just crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. When I act strong and calm for them when I’m frustrated, I actually feel stronger and calmer. It turns out that if you fake it long enough, it rubs off on you. I want them to see me smile. So, I keep smiling even when I don’t feel like it. And I end up being happier in the end. It could have to do with their sweet smiles back at me.

This time around, I know there is no going back. I’ll never be the Stacey I was before having children. Being a mom changes you forever. And I will forever be their mother, no matter what. This time around I’m not longing for that old Stacey. I do still sometimes crave alone time. I do still need time alone with my husband. But, I also realize that when we are all together I feel the happiest and most complete. This is my family. We’re continuing the journey my husband and I started when we got married.

Just as I adjusted to the title and role of wife, I have now adjusted to the title and role of mother. It is my identity. It won’t ever be my complete identity, but it’s a big part of me. Right now Mommy is 95 percent of who I am and what I do. But there’s still 5 percent reserved for just Stacey. That percentage will wax and wane in the years to come, I’m sure. I’m sure I’ll have times of finding myself all over again. That’s how life works. For now, I’m fully embracing my role as mother. Now it makes me who I am.

Families With Grace
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