25 White elephant gift exchange ideas no one will be embarrassed by

The holiday season is prime time for funny gag gift exchanges. But finding the perfect gag gift for coworkers or others that aren’t inappropriate or embarrassing can be difficult. 

Whether you’re shopping for a funny coworker gift or your teen’s secret Santa gift exchange or a family member, I’ve got  the best gag gifts for you!

Many times, funny Christmas gifts tend to be more on the adult side of things. But, some of the best prank gifts are also incredibly funny holiday gifts! 

There’s a fine line between appropriate and inappropriate. We’ve found a slew of options for the ultimate gag gift that won’t embarrass anyone.

All of these best gifts are on Amazon, so that makes them even easier. Just place your order and a hilarious gift will show up on your doorstep!

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Animal themed hilarious gifts

Animals are always popular. Whether you’re a dog lover or cat lover, this wide array of silly gifts is animal themed and will give you a good reason to giggle!

This snail soap dispenser makes me smile. It is a bit on the gross side to think of using snail snot as a soap dispenser, but a good gag gift is allowed to make you gag, right?!

Animal lovers are sure to love this four-pack of animal socks to make your feet look like a dog’s, cat’s or tigers. Funny socks are a terrific and cheap coworker gift.

I’m pretty sure almost all of us have seen the screaming goat videos. Bring the screaming goat to a tabletop near you with this funny screaming goat figure as a humorous way to make hard work at the office a bit easier. 

It comes with a small paperback book to give you ideas of when you just might need to hear the goat scream. It’s a unique gift that will keep on giving to your team members long after the tinsel is put away!

This gift sounds gross, but it’s an ideal gift for juvenile humor and tasty, too. This reindeer barf is actually colorful, chewy strings of licorice. I’d give it a try!

As one of the most inexpensive gifts on the list, this squirrel hand puppet is a perfect way to make everyone laugh. It’s a small gift that packs a big smile!

More for decoration than use, this hanging cat washcloth is certainly the perfect gift for cat lovers. It comes in a variety of different cats.

These cat paw oven mitts are so adorable whoever you give them to will want to start baking right away! They’re a great gift for your best friend or co-worker who either loves to bake or loves cats or both!

Food themed coworker gifts

Along with animals, everyone loves food. This Christmas season, a variety of funny gifts make the best stocking stuffers or secret Santa gifts you can find. Let the good times roll!

Even if your recipient doesn’t like pickles, they’re sure to love this fun yodeling pickle! You really can’t play it without having a good laugh.

Everyone knows someone who loves pickles. But would they love pickle cotton candy as a Christmas present? It’s worth a try — and at least you’ll get credit for having the best sense of humor!

I mean, bacon is delicious. Embrace your inner bacon lover self — and big sense of humor — with this bacon flavored toothpaste.

If you love bacon, but toothpaste isn’t quite your thing, check out these bacon bandages! Bandages are usually a practical gift, but these are great choice for a gag gift exchange.

Who can resist cheesy jokes? I am a huge fan of cheesy, dad-type jokes. This stack of cheesy joke cards look like cheese slices and are a great addition to your favorite comedians repertoire.

Of all the gag gift ideas I came across in working on Christmas gift guides, this one intrigues me the most. I can’t help but to be curious how these Lester’s Fixins outrageous flavor sodas taste.

They come in a pack of six bottles that include soda flavors like ranch dressing, pumpkin pie and bacon.

I love chocolate. These “If you can read this, bring me chocolate” socks are one of those cheap gifts I relate to so much!

Toy and other novelty funny office gifts

The good news is that you’re never too old for toys! These toys and other novelty gifts can be great stress relievers and are sure to be a hit at your Christmas party.

Gag gift ideas that are annoying and funny work well. And this voice changer offers a great way to fit into both categories.

If you’re looking for a gag gift that might take a second before you get it (unless you are faster than I am), check out this can of dehydrated water. I love playful pranks that aren’t incredibly obvious about it. All you need to do to have water is add water! 

There’s not a more classic gag gift idea than the good ol’ snake in a can. What looks like a can of chips is really a snake ready to spring out when you pop the top. Classics are classics for a reason!

This desktop boxing set, complete with a rule book, is a perfect present for an office party. Help your co-worker take out frustration at their desk in a creative way!

The best thing about this talking Bob Ross bobblehead, which comes with a small book of some of his paintings, is it’s a gag gift that gives back. Next time you need a pep talk or soothing voice to calm you down, just press the button!

I’m not sure what to say about these, except that as a child of the 1980s, these mullet socks crack me up! What better way to show some retro spirit?

Bonus points for gifting this to someone over age 40 who’d really get a kick out of them!

I LOVE Mad Libs, oftentimes even more than playing a board game. And I actually have these very Mad Libs. You can’t go wrong combining The Golden Girls with Mad Libs! 

While these record coasters are effective and nostalgic, they’re also hilarious with song titles offering a variety of options like “Don’t spill the tea,” “Protect the surface” and “Rest on me.”

Who said that funny Christmas gift ideas for coworkers can’t be educational? Check out “The Book of Unusual Knowledge.” It’s full of random, interesting and fun facts that can make for great conversation starters!

This Christmas hat will keep your head warm and light up. Easily get into the holiday spirit with this festive headpiece!

Wrap it up

To wrap it all up, these funny gift bags are a great idea to wrap your gag gift. They have funny sayings like, “Remember it’s the thought that counts,” “Just act like you love it” and “Definitely not regifted as far as you know.” 

Looking for more ideas? Don’t miss these lists full of gift ideas!

30 White Elephant Gifts Under $20

Quirky, fun and unique Christmas gift ideas under $25

15 Christmas gift ideas under $25 for everyone on your list

Christmas gifts for men under $35

Christmas gift ideas for people who are hard to shop for

Thanksgiving tips to make your life easier

With Thanksgiving just a couple of weeks away, I figured this was a great time to share some Thanksgiving tips I’ve learned through the years to make life easier.

I have gone other places for Thanksgiving Day, and I’ve hosted. The past two years I was hostess, and I will be again this year.

To be honest, I really enjoy hosting Thanksgiving dinner. I get a chance to make recipes I don’t usually cook, my kids help out in the kitchen and I love food.

(Is food considered a love language? If so, it is 100% my love language!)

Of course the biggest Thanksgiving tip is one I have for pretty much everything: give yourself grace. Remember that you don’t have to have a picture perfect Thanksgiving dinner in order to have a good holiday.

It’s about spending time with those you love. In fact, I have had great Thanksgiving dinners of tacos, lunchmeat sandwiches and at restaurants. I’ve also had great Thanksgiving dinner filled with delicious homemade food.

Even though I do love food, I love my family more. Being together with them is the best part of the holiday. I don’t have to focus on it being picture perfect — and neither do you!

With that in mind, let’s get down to five great Thanksgiving tips to make your holiday even better!

1. Organize your menu and cooking plan.

Because it is a food-centric holiday, Thanksgiving meal planning is important. I am a HUGE list maker and love being organized.

In the past, I have used spreadsheets to organize myself for Thanksgiving meal planning, but this year I opted to make that spreadsheet a bit prettier and made a Thanksgiving menu and cooking planner for myself that I shared in the Families with Grace Etsy store.

It’s literally everything I do for menu and cooking planner. I start with the dinner planner and figure out what food we’re having, who is making it, when it should be made and what recipe we’re using to make it.

Some foods (like desserts, rolls and cheeseballs) can be made the day before, so I plan for those. Other things have to be made the day of. My dinner planner helps me sort that out.

Then I move on to ingredients. I like printed recipes, so I’ll print recipes out and look through the ingredients. I’ll make a list of what I have and what I need to buy using the shopping planner.

Finally, as Thanksgiving Day gets closer, I organize my cooking planner. I list each food, when to start prepping it, when to start cooking it and when it should be finished. I consider my oven space as I do so to make sure I’m not planning to overfill it.

These three pages are what my Thanksgiving dinner plan relies on!

2. Find the right recipes.

If you’re having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, deciding what recipes to use is important. It can be a good time to experiment somewhat, but for the most part you want to stick with reliable recipes.

And you want to go for easy things. I’m big on making things from scratch for my Thanksgiving, but sometimes it doesn’t make sense. Be flexible!

This year, for example, I thought about making pecan pie from scratch. I’ve made it before and it’s good, but I checked pecan prices and found that I could get a frozen pecan pie to thaw and eat for less. And that frozen pecan pie tastes just as good. So I’m saving myself time and money.

I’m also opting to make dressing as a doctored up version of boxed dressing mix this year. My brownies, which my family loves, also start with a box mix.

But other items I am making from scratch like yeast rolls, party potatoes, corn casserole and mac & cheese.

And, I have to add, make food that your family likes even if it isn’t traditional. My husband and son don’t like most traditional Thanksgiving food, so my menu also includes skillet queso with tortilla chips and a Parmesan ranch cheeseball.

3. Shop well.

While we think of Christmas as being the holiday with the most shopping, Thanksgiving can be right up there for food shopping. There are two tips for shopping well for Thanksgiving that I use: shop ahead and use grocery pick-up.

Part of the reason I menu plan early is so that I can start stocking up on what I need. Three weeks before Thanksgiving, for example, I purchased extra butter, flour and sugar knowing that I’d need those things. And they have a long shelf live.

Adding in a few ingredients here and there is good for my grocery budget and makes finding difficult ingredients easier. It reduces my stress to know I have what I need and am not scrambling around trying to find a store with canned pumpkin or frozen hashbrowns in stock.

The other thing I highly recommend is using grocery pick-up. I started using grocery pick-up pre-COVID and haven’t stopped. I love being able to shop from anywhere I am (usually at home) with my phone.

It gives me more time to think about what I need and consult my list. I can better compare prices and make the best choices.

And I end up not buying extra items that we don’t really need! That’s not to mention the time it saves me in actually going through the grocery store.

4. Have some easy family activities planned.

Having some easy family activities is a great Thanksgiving tip for keeping your family happy and hanging out together even longer. But, especially if you’re hosting, you certainly don’t need any more work to do, so go for easy activities everyone will enjoy.

These easy activities can be as simple as everyone saying what they’re thankful for or going around the dinner table and having everyone say something they are thankful for about each person.

Some of our favorites are watching the parade together on Thanksgiving evening, watching a movie together or playing games together. Thanksgiving specific games can be especially fun.

For those, I love and highly recommend printable games that you can print out a few days before Thanksgiving and pull out for some family entertainment. You can get them in bundles or separately.

You can find all sorts of Thanksgiving printables in the Families with Grace Esty store!

5. Keep it simple — and ask for help!

Find what you enjoy and do it, but keep things simple. I love cooking and baking more than decorating.

My Thanksgiving décor this year for dinner will include a tablecloth that I found on sale at Walmart for $1 and some paper plates and napkins for dessert that say something about being thankful.

I’m thinking I might pull out my nice dishes this year, but they’re dishwasher safe. Simple and effective.

If decorating is more your thing, do that and cut back on homemade dishes. Find shortcuts, make something nontraditional or buy your dinner and decorate away.

Finally, don’t hesitate to ask for help. This is one of the most important Thanksgiving tips! Your family wants to spend time with you.

And if we’re honest the version of you who isn’t overwhelmed and stressed is much more fun to be around. (I say this as a reminder to myself, by the way!)

Asking for help really isn’t a sign of weakness, I promise. Ask your children to help with food prep or cleaning. You can even ask those coming to dinner to bring along dishes as well.

If you are organizing a large Thanksgiving meal for lots of people, consider making it a potluck and using a sign-up sheet so that you don’t end up with everyone bringing mashed potatoes and nothing else!

19 Fun family activities for autumn with a free fall bucket list printable

As the saying goes, it’s fall, ya’ll! Autumn is my favorite season. I love the colors, weather and flavors.

I’m on board with figuring out fun family activities to do throughout the fall season. After a hot Midwestern summer, we’re usually ready to head outside and start enjoying the cooler weather that accompanies fall.

This year, I decided to be more intentional about fall family activities. While my family has made a list of summer activities for a few years, we haven’t done so for fall.

So I decided I’d put together a fall bucket list of family family activities this year. Some we have done regularly and some are new to us, which I think makes a perfect fall bucket list list!

Go for a leaf sight-seeing drive.

One of the best aspects of fall is the colors and the leaves. Taking time to drive around and enjoy them is a great fall activity for families, no matter the age of your kiddos. Play some favorite music and just take in the beauty of God’s creation.

Head to a pumpkin patch and get your own pumpkin.

Fall and pumpkins go hand-in-hand. Head to a nearby pumpkin patch and get your own pumpkin(s). Even though I’m far from being a plant person, I still like the pumpkin patch visits. It just feels autumnal.

Plus you get a bonus of supporting a local farmer, which is always a good thing!

Bake pumpkin bread together.

Pumpkin spice is one of the most popular flavors of fall. I enjoy my pumpkin spice most baked into a loaf of pumpkin bread. For me, pair a slice of pumpkin bread with a mug of hot chocolate, and I’m in heaven!

While my favorite pumpkin bread recipe is easy enough I’ve made it with 40 kindergarteners at once, if you just don’t want to bake, pick up some pumpkin bread at the grocery store or bakery.

Go on a hike or nature walk.

Fall weather may not cool down everywhere, but for many of us, fall means temperatures start going down. And that’s why hikes or nature walks make for great fall family activities.

You get to be outside, enjoying the crisp air and colorful leaves. Find somewhere nearby and make some memories!

Drink apple cider (warm or chilled).

Apple harvest happens in the fall, so it’s a great time to enjoy some apple cider either warm or chilled. My daughter and husband especially love apple cider. They both prefer it cold.

Find it at the grocery store or a nearby orchard.

Play board games for at least an hour.

There’s never a bad time for board games when it comes to family activities. My family loves games, but making the time to play them can get tricky.

Adding this to your fall bucket list will help remind you to have a game night or afternoon. If your kiddos are young, be sure to check out this list of games for non- and early readers!

Snuggle for a movie night with popcorn and snacks.

Honestly, fall weather can be downright unpleasant. On a chilly, wet evening, snuggle in as a family and enjoy movie night with popcorn and snacks.

Our family tends to love this most on Friday nights when everyone is tired from a week of school and work. Do whatever works for you!

Go to the farmers’ market.

Autumn is a great time to visit the farmers’ market. The weather is cooler, which encourages you to stroll through for longer. Lots of produce is still fresh and vendors often have other items like home-baked goodies that would pair well with things like game or movie nights!

You may be able to find some apple cider at your local farmers’ market as well.

Do a fall family photo shoot.

The colors in fall are perfect backdrops for family photos. I have paid for family photos in the fall, but these days I usually just take my kids outside and take a bunch of photos with my phone. They’re easy to edit and pick my favorites.

My kiddos enjoy getting to come up with poses and usually I end up with more natural photos.

Attend a fall festival.

Fall is a great time for festivals. Find one (or two or three!) near you, and attend.

Here in the Midwest we have things like covered bridge festivals and historic area festivals. Then there are harvest festivals.

Find something and go just for the fun of it. We recently went to a Native American festival and had a great time.

Pick apples at an orchard.

Apples are fresh and delicious in the fall. If you have an orchard near you that lets you pick your own apples, then go for it!

You can try different varieties and see what you and your family like best or stick with one trusty variety. Either way, it can be lots of fun as a family.

Navigate a corn maze.

This is sort of an essential part of the fall season for those of us who live where the corn pops up in rows (Tim McGraw songs, anyone?).

If you’ve got a corn maze near you, hit it up and navigate your way to through it. Usually one of our kids leads us. Especially when they were younger, we would then end up suggesting turns they might want to take.

Paint or carve pumpkins.

Pumpkins are everywhere in the fall, and it’s a great time to get creative with them. We carve and paint pumpkins in our family based on each persons’ preferences.

My daughter likes to paint pumpkins; my son likes to carve them. I’m the only member in our family who loves cleaning out pumpkins.

All in all, it works out and is one of the great fall family activities during autumn.

Play charades.

Charades is one of my kids’ favorite games and has been for years. You can use themed charades games, like Halloween charades, general charades games or just let everyone come up with their own ideas.

In my family, we play charades by having one person act out the clue and the rest of us guess. We don’t keep score and just have fun.

Donate to a local food bank.

Autumn is a great time to donate to local food banks who are preparing for the upcoming holiday season. We often contact the food bank and ask what sort of items they’re most in need of before buying things.

Our kids usually use their “giving” money from their allowance to contribute to food banks. They take on the challenge of finding groceries or toiletries for cheaper prices to get the most for their money.

Eat a caramel apple.

Whether you make them yourself or buy them at the store, caramel apples are the quintessential fall treat. I like mine covered with chopped peanuts, while my husband prefers them plain.

And if you just can’t get on board with caramel apples, buy some or make some caramel dip for apple slices or other favorite fruit.

Go on a hayride.

Hay rides can be a great family activity. We usually work in a hayride on a visit to the pumpkin patch.

Beware that some hayrides have a scare factor with people “surprising” you. Definitely know what you’re getting into with younger children along.

Roast smores

Bonfires and firepits are great for chilly autumn evenings. And they’re a great excuse to roast some marshmallows as well.

Add some chocolate (or Reese’s peanut butter cups!) and graham crackers. Smores aren’t just a summertime campfire treat!

Make a leaf collection

This is a great activity especially for younger kids who delight in all the various types of leaves they can find. But when it comes to autumn family activities, collecting leaves can also be fun.

See who can find the biggest leaf, the most colorful leaf and so on.

Download a FREE Fall Bucket List Printable or visit the Families with Grace Etsy store for an editable PDF version that includes a blank list for you to add your own Fall Bucket List ideas! Use the code FWGFAN to receive an extra 10% off everything in the store!

Encouragement for moms

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

I wrote this post as encouragement for moms back in 2012 before my youngest child was even born. It may be 10 years later, but I still need this reminder just as much!

I’d guess that ever since Eve, moms have been questioning themselves and feeling like bad mothers when things go awry. My daughter was less than a couple of days old before I felt like a bad mom. It was so intense that my husband even suggested I talk with my own mother about whether it got better. My baby was crying all the time and nothing I did seemed to help. I cried. She cried. We saw a different pediatrician when ours was out who further laid the blame on me. I climbed into the backseat with my baby on the way home and cried some more. It was awful feeling so much love and so much helplessness. I felt like the world’s worst mom and I had barely even been a mom.

The end of the first week, my husband figured out the problem. The kiddo didn’t know what to do with her tongue to suck milk effectively. She was constantly hungry as a result. Once we knew the problem and were able to work on it by having me exclusively pump and then negotiate the bottle just so in her mouth, things got a lot better. I didn’t immediately feel like a great mom. I did at least feel better that my baby was happier.

Every mom has a different story, but we’ve all had those moments where we feel just awful. I’ve had many more moments since then like when my baby rolled off my bed, found a pair of scissors to play with, skinned her knee to pieces when she fell WHILE I was holding her hand and so much more. I have often said to my husband, “I’m such a bad mom,” and then lurched into a story about why.

Words of encouragement

Yesterday, though, a friend shared a quote on Pinterest that stopped me in my tracks a minute and got me thinking. It’s from “Unglued” by Lysa Terkeurst: “Bad moments don’t make bad mamas.” I like that way of thinking. Aside from needing to cut myself some slack (I have a lifetime of practice of being too hard on myself), I also need to change my way of thinking.

Instead of thinking, “I’m such a bad mom for losing my patience with her when she wanted to play,” I need to think, “That was a bad moment.” And then assess how I can fix it the next time that situation arises. We all have bad moments whether it’s in parenthood, at work, at home, wherever. They just happen. Life is far from perfect all the time. Life is far from happy all the time. But, bad moments really don’t make us bad people.

I suppose bad mothers exist, but the majority of us are doing the best with what we have. My own mom wasn’t perfect, but she was perfect for me. I have to believe the same is true for my children. I’m not a perfect person. I’m not a perfect mother. We’re going to have bad moments. But, I’m not a bad mother. Bad mothers don’t try. They don’t care. I try very much and care about being a mom above almost everything else. I’m hopeful that one day my children will be able to look back and know that I did my very best for them and, above all, loved them unconditionally with my whole heart.

And one of these days, I hope we can sit around together and laugh at some of the bad moments. Sometimes in hindsight things are much more humorous than they feel at the time they happen. I still haven’t been able to always employ a college professor’s theory of, “If you’re going to laugh at it later, you might as well laugh at it now.” But, I do see humor in some things now that weren’t one bit funny at the time they happened.

Maybe one day I’ll sit and joke with my daughter about how she had to figure out eating from the start. Or maybe we’ll joke about the time she rolled off the bed and survived to tell the tale. I’m guessing, though, that there are lots more bad moments that will happen between now and her adulthood that we’ll have to joke about. That’s a part of life, I suppose. And it will be all right. We’ll survive together. As long as I keep trying and keep loving her (and soon her brother), I’m pretty sure I can’t go all that wrong.

20 ways Christian moms can encourage good sibling relationships

When my husband and I talked about having kids, we talked about sibling relationships and what we wanted for our kids. Before deciding for sure to add a second child to our family, we talked about it even more. Sibling relationships can be wonderful, but they can also be complicated.

Both my husband and I have older brothers, and we have different relationships with them. From the beginning of our parenthood journey, we have worked to be intentional in encouraging grace-filled sibling relationships for our kids. We want them to be friends. Our prayer and desire is for them to be close and be able to turn to one another throughout their entire lives.

Now 9 and 12, my children do get along well. They enjoy spending time together. (And they also enjoy spending time apart!) They aren’t perfect, but all-in-all they have a good, solid relationship. They look out for each other and often, my youngest has more courage to try new things with his big sister than with anyone else, including me! My husband and I continue to be intentional about encouraging their sibling relationship and helping keep it on the right track.

So today I’m sharing 20 ways to encourage good sibling relationships based on our experiences. I even talked to my kiddos for their input for this post!

1. Remind your kids that they have each other and always will.

From the time our youngest was born, we have told our kiddos they have to stick together. Reminding your children that they have a special bod in their sibling relationship is important. Friends will come and go, but siblings will be around for most of their life. And that’s a bond to celebrate and grow. After all, as we remind our kids, nobody else in the world knows what it’s like growing up with their dad and me as parents. So they can always bond over that!

2. Don’t compare your kids to each other.

I know this can be tricky. After all, our experiences as parents rest solely on our experiences with our own children. But our kids have their own strengths and weaknesses. Comparing them to one another only serves to drive a wedge between them, and that’s not at all what we want to do. It’s difficult to not resent someone who your parents are telling you is better at something than you are. With that in mind, be careful to not compare in subtle ways either. Praise and discipline as equally and fairly as possible.

3. Speak positively about their siblings to your kiddos.

A great way to encourage good sibling relationships is by saying good things about your kids to their siblings. Of course we have grouses and gripes with our kids, but focusing on those and complaining about them to their siblings is only going to weaken that relationship. Instead, mention to your daughter how funny her brother is. Or point out to your son how kind his sister is. This helps our kids learn to look for the positive attributes in one another rather than focus on the negative ones.

4. Don’t allow negative talk between them.

When it comes to positive language, don’t allow your kids to bad-mouth each other to each other or to other people. Your kids won’t always get along (mine certainly don’t), but there’s a difference between having a disagreement and being mean to each other. We don’t tolerate name-calling and putdowns in our family, including between our children. Our kids also aren’t allowed to bad-mouth their sibling to their friends or others. Doing so only hurts that sibling relationship.

One bonus we’ve found to this rule is that our kids’ friends treat the sibling kindly also. For example, the friends of my 12-year-old daughter are kind to our 9-year-old son and even say hello to him at school whenever they see him, regardless if our daughter is around.

5. Let them have a chance to work through conflicts but step in to help resolve the conflict when necessary.

Part of teaching our kids is helping them know how to work through conflict with other people. Managing sibling conflict is a great way to start, because our family should always be our safe place. But we want to make sure conflict is resolved in a positive way. Early on, my husband and I had to help our kids with resolving conflict much more often. Nowadays, however, I hear them have a disagreement and figure out a compromise without flying off the handle. There are still times we have to step in when someone is getting frustrated, but they are learning and growing. No relationship is perfect and learning how to resolve conflict in a positive way is important.

6. Create an attitude of grace throughout your home.

One of my biggest goals as a Christian mom is to create a home filled with grace, faith and love. And that attitude of grace extends throughout the entire family. We continue to work on helping our kids learn to give grace to each other (and us as well). One of the biggest ways we have done this is practicing a small attitude shift as a family in assuming the people we love are not intentionally trying to hurt us. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt goes a long way to forging better relationships.

7. Make opportunities for family fun.

The best relationships we have are those in which we have fun together. Sibling relationships are no different. Come up with ways to have fun as a family and put your kids together in fun ways. One of my kids’ favorite things right now is planning a family yes day. We pick a day and their dad and I have to say yes to whatever they ask us (with some rules). They work together to plan a fun day, and we all giggle together. Other times, it’s small ways that we have fun like having a water balloon fight, going out for ice cream as a surprise treat and playing games together.

8. Develop your own family traditions.

We often have family traditions for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but having smaller traditions is just as important. Sometimes these traditions can look like routines. For instance, each evening before bedtime, our family gathers to pray and read. Usually we read chapter books. We’ve read through the entire Harry Potter series, part of Percy Jackson and are now nearly finished with “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” from C.S. Lewis. We know that each evening, we have 15 to 20 minutes as a family that we don’t do anything else, and we love that time! These traditions and routines help our kids feel closer to each other as well as to my husband and me.

9. Pray together as a family.

That evening time we have to pray together is great for building sibling relationships as well. We don’t go for super long prayers that are highly personal and in-depth. Instead, we talk about people we know who need prayer. In joining together in prayer for someone or something, our children’s relationship only deepens and grows in ways that matter most.

10. Have dinner together at least a few nights a week.

If you can’t manage dinner together every night, then at least make it a priority a few nights a week. During the school year, we have dinner together at the table nearly every night. During the summertime, we are a little more lax and have dinner together while watching a favorite show or movie a couple of times a week. Having that time to eat and talk about what’s going on in our lives is important and helps grows our kids’ relationship. It gives them a chance to be more involved in each other’s lives and happenings. They learn more about each other and what’s important to each other.

11. Support each other’s activities and interests.

We do our best to encourage our kids to support each other’s activities and interests. If there is a school program or performance or anything else, we expect everyone to go and be supportive of the other. This past school year, for example, our daughter was a manager of the middle school track and field team. So, her dad, brother and I showed up for and even volunteered at some of the meets. While our kids go to the same school, their concerts are on different nights. We expect them to go along for their sibling’s performance and be just as excited for them. Knowing that you sibling supports you goes a long way toward bettering your sibling relationship!

12. Pray for their relationship.

We’ve got so many things to pray about for our kids, so it might be easy to overlook praying for their sibling relationships. But don’t forget that. I have prayed from the beginning that my kids have a good, strong and healthy relationship. I want them to enjoy each other and like each other, not just love each other. So I ask God for help in growing their relationship together and guiding my husband and me to raise them in a way that draws them together rather than apart.

13. Help them grow in their own relationships with God.

It’s important to help our kids grow in their own relationships with God as well. Their relationship with God impacts every part of their lives and all of their relationships. The closer they are to God and growing in Him, the more loving and caring they’ll be with everyone — including their siblings! (Don’t miss this free printable of a parents’ prayer to help you pray for yourself as you are raising your children.)

14. Watch and listen to wholesome content.

We don’t only watch and listen to Christian entertainment, but we are careful about what our kids are exposed to. Some movies and shows just aren’t appropriate for them due to bad language, inappropriate content and wrong attitudes. The more they are exposed to those things, the more normal those things seem and the more likely they are to behave differently. If we’re watching something and see siblings working against each other, we talk about it with our kids. What should the characters have done?

And I am a huge proponent of listening to Christian music. It’s hard for me to be grumpy with the kids or for them to argue with one another when praise music is playing. Sometimes if they start getting short with each other in the car, I turn up the worship songs until they can’t help but laugh and move on. It works!

15. Promote teamwork.

We’re big on family teamwork. And family teamwork includes giving our kids a chance to work together on tasks. They may grumble sometimes while cleaning their bathroom (hey, it happens!), but in the end they feel accomplished together for what they did. Having a chance to work as a team and take pride in what they do together strengthens sibling relationships.

16. Encourage playtime together.

When our children were younger, they were more inclined to play with each other because they didn’t have much choice. Nowadays, one of our kids is old enough that she’s not as into playing while the other is still at an age where he enjoys playtime. So sometimes we require them to play together. That can look like anything from pretend play to doing art together to building something together to even watching a certain series together. The goal is to make sure our kids get time to spend together in a playful way and enjoy each other’s company.

17. Protect their time together.

Speaking of spending time together enjoying one another’s company, we must protect our kids’ time together. I’m big on not over-scheduling our kids. I want my kids to have a chance to be bored and to find their own things to do. That also means we aren’t so overscheduled that they don’t have time to be with one another. Protect their time so they can have time together as well. Having time together in positive ways is an important part of building strong sibling relationships.

18. Have one-on-one time with them.

Spending time one-on-one with your kids can strengthen their bond with each other. No matter how old they are, our kids want our attention. They want to know we are listening and paying attention to them. Making sure to find ways to have one-on-one time with them helps them not be resentful of each other seeming to get more attention at different times. Our family has found a variety of ways to do this. Right now what’s working best for us is to allow each of our kids to have 20-30 minutes of one-on-one (or two-on-one) time with us after bedtime two nights a week. We read through special books or just talk during that time.

19. Travel together.

No matter how big or small the trip, traveling together is a great way to grow family bonds and strengthen sibling relationships. We have made memories on bigger trips like to Orlando, Fla., and the Grand Canyon as well as on smaller trips like camping in a nearby state park. Even day trips and staycations count. Basically any time spent out of the daily grind works!

20. Reminisce together — even the about the crazy moments!

Take time every so often to reminisce together. I love memory photos that come up on social media or through my Google Photos. I often show them to my kids as well. Showing them things we’ve done that they’ve forgotten or how they snuggled together when they were small help them feel closer. One of the fun things about family and siblings is having memories with them that nobody else in the world has. Don’t forget to help your kids remember those moments that connect them!

What being a grace-filled parent looks like

When I learned I was pregnant with my first child, I was excited. I was also overwhelmed and nervous. Some people are just naturally great with all kids. (In fact, that same first child of mine is that way!) I was never that way. I was not sure what motherhood would actually be like, but I was excited to be part of it. Not once did I think about how grumpy I’d be with my baby. Instead, I planned to be a grace-filled parent. I planned to be calm, have a sense of humor and show lots of love.

The reality of parenthood sets in quickly. Those first few months were exhausting and an adjustment beyond anything I could ever have prepared for. Parenthood is a total upheaval of life. Added to the exhaustion is stress and pressure and it’s a perfect mix for cranky parents. But none of us what to be those cranky parents. We desire to be a grace-filled parent who is patient, caring and loving.

I’ve never been a perfect parent, just as I’m not a perfect person. I have stories about my behavior that make me cringe and feel ashamed. However, I’ve also worked (and had God work in me!) to become a more grace-filled parent. I’ve learned through my years as a mom that my kids need grace from me as much as I need grace from them. Today I’m sharing 10 lessons I’ve learned about how to be a more grace-filled parent.

1. Listen to your children.

From the time they are babies, our kids are using their voices to tell us what is going on with them. True, they start out with crying that can be perplexing. (I remember the days of trying to sort out what could possibly be making my baby unhappy when they were clean, fed and well rested and still crying sometimes!) But once they start talking and expressing themselves, we get to learn about them and their point-of-view.

Understanding where they’re coming from can help you have more patience with your kiddos and give them more grace as a result. I remember when my daughter was 3 and spilled an almost full bottle of hand soap on the hallway carpet. I was angry that she’d made a mess and didn’t understand why in the world she was carrying the soap dispenser out of the bathroom. She explained to me that she wanted to show our new Minnie Mouse soap dispenser to the Minnie Mouse toys in her bedroom. Oh my heart!

She still got in some trouble, and we definitely talked about how soap dispensers stay in the bathroom, but her punishment wasn’t as severe because I understood where she was coming from. She wasn’t just carrying around soap for no reason and trying to make a mess. Listening to her helped me understand her and address what was really going on.

2. Observe your kids.

But, kids don’t always express themselves with words. Sometimes their feelings are too big or they just plain don’t have the words. I mean, I’m just over four decades into my own life and still can struggle to find the right words to explain how I’m feeling sometimes! Sometimes we need to stop and observe our kids to figure out what is really going on with them and why they are behaving a certain way.

Recently my parents were in town for a visit. (They moved away last winter.) We made a quick trip to the grocery store for just a couple of things. My son stood in the chip aisle and argued with me for a moment about buying Cheetos. I get it. I love Cheetos, too, but I told him we had some at home and to stop being difficult. Indeed I was frustrated. Later that evening, my dad mentioned to me that my son had noticed all the rest of us had picked up some sort of snack or something to purchase and seemed to be feeling left out. It made perfect sense as I looked back on the situation. I wasn’t a very grace-filled parent in that moment, but I did at least understand my son a bit. He never said he was feeling left out; however, his actions told the story if I’d have just paid closer attention.

No matter what, of course my son shouldn’t be allowed to argue with me. If I had realized what was really going on with him at the time, though, I could have reacted differently and resolved the situation in another way. I could have suggested he pick another snack instead. Just two minutes after the Cheeto disagreement, I did concede to getting a box of Cheez-Its at my son’s request that both my kids love. His attitude disappeared after that.

3. Communicate with your kids.

Another way to be a more grace-filled parent is to communicate with your kids. Listen, my kids talk a lot. A lot. But, what I mean is to actually communicate with them. Let them know what plans are for after school or what you expect from them on an outing. Just a few sentences ahead of time can help them also understand you better and allow you both to have more patience with and grace for each other. It helps you avoid yelling at your kids or getting otherwise upset with them.

For example, as my children have gotten older, they have had more plans for what they want to do during their downtime. My daughter may be planning to come home after school and spend a couple of hours writing. Or my son might be looking forward to playing with a friend in the neighborhood when he gets home on a nice day. If I throw a wrench into their plans with an extra activity, that can lead to grumpy attitudes at the least and meltdowns at the worst. Simply communicating about plans ahead of time helps tremendously.

My husband and I also talk with our kids about why they are being punished or when we observe a behavior we don’t like. Of course there are times they get in trouble immediately, but other times we have found it’s helpful to communicate with them about why we are unhappy with what’s happened. Communication really does go a long way!

4. Know when to discipline and when to hug.

The definition of grace is not getting what you deserve. Meaning if I do something wrong, you show me kindness instead of anger. Being a grace-filled parent means that sometimes when our kids do something wrong, we let it slide or give them a hug instead of a punishment.

I mentioned in point two that my parents moved away last winter. Their move a few states away has been a big adjustment for all of us. So when they headed back out after visiting us recently and my youngest had a difficult attitude the next day, I gave him a bit of grace. He needed grace and love more than discipline in that moment.

When we are listening to and observing our kiddos, we can more easily discern when they are just out of sorts and need love and attention more than punishment.

5. Remember that you are a teacher.

One of the biggest jobs we have as parents is to be our kids’ teacher. We teach them everything they know about navigating life through our words and actions. Remembering that we are teaching them is an important part of being a grace-filled parent. Our kids are still growing and learning. If we take the time to teach them rather than just get mad at them, we’re all happier in the end.

Our goal is to help them grow and learn. Growing and learning are difficult when we’re being yelled at or in trouble. Instead, use some mistakes as teaching moments. I’ve also learned to expect that I will have to repeat myself and repeat lessons. My kids are kids. They aren’t perfect and they’re not going to always remember what to do in a moment.

6. Set realistic expectations.

When I expect more from my kids than they are capable of, then I lose my patience and my feelings of grace. One trick I’ve learned is to remind myself how old my kids are when I start to impose unrealistic expectations on them. If I stop to think that my daughter is only 12 or my son is only 9 when they mess up, then I can realize when I’m expecting them to act like adults.

I also set expectations out loud to my kids when we are going into situations. For example, if we are going to visit a friend, I remind them I expect them to help clean up toys and not give me a hard time when I say it’s time to leave. When they know what I expect of them, they are more likely to behave accordingly.

7. Guard your time.

I cannot say enough how important guarding your time is. I’m an introvert, so finding downtime comes naturally to me. Both introverts and extroverts need to be wary of overscheduling. Who can be a grace-filled parent when you are stressed out trying to get everyone in multiple places at the same time every night of the week? (Maybe some of you can, and that’s awesome. But I know I sure can’t, and I don’t think I’m alone.)

I’d rather say no to an activity than lose my patience with my kids. We started in elementary school with the rule our kids can do only one regular activity per week. That changes as they get older and can both handle more and stay up later. But it’s what works best for us, and I gladly stick to it.

8. Have fun together.

Eight months old. That’s the age that babies start getting more interactive and you can have a bit of fun with them. (Or at least that was our experience.) From that point on, find ways to have fun with your kiddos. Do things they enjoy with them and let yourself go and enjoy them, too. Now that our kids are older, we enjoy playing games together. When we go to the playground, I swing with the kiddos (unless the swings are busy or other kids want to swing). Just have fun.

We are much more inclined to give grace when our children need it when we have good feelings of making good memories with them. Find ways to sincerely enjoy spending time with your kiddos. Parenting is a lot of work and requires a lot of us, but don’t forget to enjoy moments along the way!

9. Ask for help.

Another important thing to remember about being a grace-filled parent is that you aren’t meant to do it alone. Start always with asking God for help. I pray daily to be the mom my children need. In fact, this parents’ prayer is a great place to start.

Other times you need to ask for help from those around you: your spouse, your extended family, friends and even your kids! For example, I am the one mostly in charge of laundry in our family. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, more frustrated and certainly less grace-filled when I am sitting with a pile of laundry surrounding me that needs to be folded. I’ve learned to make laundry a family chore. I get it gathered, washed and dried, then we all fold it together and everyone is responsible for putting away his or her clothes.

10. Apologize when you mess up.

Being a grace-filled parent doesn’t mean you always have it together. You aren’t perfect. Along the way, you’re going to mess up. Let your kids see what it looks like to mess up gracefully. Apologize to them when you are wrong, because sometimes you are. I have gotten short with my kids for no good reason other than being tired or cranky or whatever. And then I tell them I’m sorry. I want to model asking for forgiveness for them as well as reminding them none of us are perfect.

Looking for more grace-filled posts? Don’t miss these!