5 Steps to keep your faith in hard times

Life is hard. We all know that. But sometimes life batters and shatters us so severely that our faith is shaken. And we don’t talk about this enough in Christian culture. Figuring out how to keep your faith in hard times is challenging.

My faith has been shaken a few times during my 33-year walk with God. I’ve never once stopped believing in Him or loving Him since I asked him to be my personal savior as a 10-year-old, but I’ve had doubts and questions.

Sometimes I haven’t understood what He was doing, and it bothered me. I have longed for justice that just doesn’t seem to happen. If I’m being honest, I’ve also said prayers that I wasn’t sure were making it to heaven, let alone to the Father’s Throne.

I can’t tell you all sorts of theological reasons for shaken faith or even list lots of Bible verses explaining how to handle shaken faith. But, I can share some of my experiences of how God has helped me keep my faith in hard times.

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

What happens when your faith is shaken?

Unsurprisingly, we don’t usually have crises of faith when everything is going well. When life is going without major bumps and bruises, we find it easy to believe in a loving God who is with us.

But during the difficult seasons, that can change. Keeping your faith in hard times is often challenging.

I compare my faith to motherhood in this way. During the years as a mom, I have questioned a few times whether I was qualified for motherhood.

Surely all moms don’t struggle with the problems I do. I debated whether I was truly cut out to be a mom. Yet, at the end of the day, I am still a mom (and am so thankful to be!).

Faith is the same way. When all is well, I don’t have questions or doubts in faith. I am confident and sure of who I am and Who God is. But in difficult times and in the hard moments, faith gets shakier.

I sometimes wonder whether God is full of love and blessings. I don’t see Him move. Yet, at the end of the day, I am still a Christian.

We may have doubts and questions, but just because we are having doubts about God and our faith doesn’t mean we aren’t a Christian or we don’t love God. It simply means we are human. And we want a real connection with God.

If we didn’t want a real connection with God, then our faith wouldn’t be shaken by missing that connection. These steps can help you to keep your faith during hard times.

1. Go through the faith motions.

To keep my faith in God in difficult times, I learned I need to keep going through the motions. And sometimes I am quite literally just going through the motions.

A few years ago, I went through a period where for the first time in my life, I was struggling for months to sing the music at church and couldn’t even listen to Christian radio. I was having a hard time.

How could I sing praises to a God who was not showing up when I desperately needed Him to? My heart was too broken to begin to praise. That’s a hard place in which to be.

Then one Sunday, I made myself since along with the worship songs at church. My kids were in service, and I wanted to be a good example.

For the first time in my life, I truly understood the sacrifice of praise Paul talks about in Hebrews. (And take note that this verse reminds us that Jesus will give us the strength to praise continually. We can’t do it on our own!)

“Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name.”

Hebrews 13:15 (NIV)

Praising God when you don’t feel like it and when struggling with faith is difficult. While I didn’t immediately feel better and stabilize my faith that Sunday, over time singing, praising and worshipping got easier again.

Sometimes we have to go through the motions (even when we don’t feel like it) until we get back to where we want to be. These motions helps us to keep our faith in hard times.

2. Shift your focus while on shifting ground.

Just as worshipping and praising started to get easier for me, the hard time worsened and made keeping my faith even more difficult. Honestly, I didn’t think it could get worse, yet it did. I was brought to my knees and broken. One week, in particular, was rough. I went to church that week numb and hurt.

I sat in service practically scoffing at God. How could He be good in the midst of all He was allowing to happen? Where was His justice? How could He be good? Where was His grace?

I don’t know what the sermon was about, because the cross at the front of our church caught my attention. The cross was what mattered.

Whether God was good or just or full of grace didn’t matter. What mattered is I knew the truth that He sent His Son to the cross to die for me.

When I had no other answers to anything else, I had the answer of Jesus and His love. And in that moment, it was enough.

It was enough until the hard times eased down, and I could once again see God’s goodness and grace. Jesus is always enough. Always.

I still struggle with justice. I still struggle in many ways. But I know God loves me. And just that is enough, because it is the foundation of my faith.

3. Talk to God when you have doubts in faith.

Just like in any relationship, when we are struggling with faith, we still need to communicate and work through it. Praying can be hard when we wonder whether our prayers are even getting through.

Wanting to talk to God when you are upset with Him is hard. But we have to try.

The good news is we don’t have to have all the right words. We can be honest with God. He won’t get offended and leave us. He won’t forget us, and He’ll be right there. And He has given us the Holy Spirit to help us pray even when we can’t quite get all the words out ourselves.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

Romans 8:26-27 (NIV)

As I began to heal and my faith began to stabilize, I realized I still struggled to see God at work. I prayed for His help to see Him and His goodness in my life.

I knew in my head that He was there and working, but my heart was struggling to believe it. He answered my prayers and opened my eyes to see His hand in my life.

I prayed that prayer a long time, because I needed the reminder to look for God and His help to see Him.

4. Find hope to keep your faith in the hurt.

As I started seeing God at work again, I also saw how so many of my previous struggles prepared me to survive the struggle I was in. I saw how He’d been working on me for years, so I’d be ready for this time.

Recognizing these things strengthened my faith and reminded me of God’s faithfulness, grace and power. God worked on me for years before I even knew about the situation. He is still working for my good for the future!

I slowly felt more hopeful, but I still battled increased anxiety and depression. Along with my prayer to see God’s goodness and work in my life, I started a gratitude journal.

I wrote three different things each day for which I could thank God. Even hard days and times have blessings. Some days the most I was thankful for was the breath in my lungs, food on the table and a roof over my head.

However, it wasn’t long before I found so much more than the bare necessities for which to thank God. Eventually I was back in the habit of seeing God and His goodness. I was back to thanking and praising Him.

My faith had moved from shaky ground to solid ground. God’s faithfulness restored my faith to solid ground.

5. Decide to trust God completely.

Dealing with shaken faith is difficult. We get a choice whether to keep our faith during hard times. We can head down the path to find our way back to God and His strength. Or we can choose to give up on Him.

No matter the situation, don’t give up on Him. Don’t question His blessings, His goodness or His faithfulness. Remember the cross. Remember how He gave His only Son for you to have eternal life with Him.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3:16 (NIV)

This verse may be one of the most well-known in the Bible, but it is a perfect Bible verse to strengthen your faith in hard times. Remembering we can trust God completely because He loves us so much is vital.

Keep your faith during hard times

While your faith may be shaken, your God is not. You may have doubt in faith, but God never has a moment of doubt in His love for you. He is ever faithful and true.

Talk to God. Take a step toward Him, and He will come running to meet you. It may take time, but He is working on and for you. He loves you, and He will help you move from shaky faith to solid ground.

Find more encouragement to keep your faith in hard times in these posts as well:

How to have a happy married life in the midst of hard times

God’s promises for hard times

God is always faith even in the midst of hard times

Finding the strength to get through hard times

“The Christian Woman’s Gratitude Journal” helps you manage anxiety and grow closer to God!

In the past, I’ve had so much luck using a gratitude journal and using a prayer journal. I also love devotionals. And I enjoy inspirational quotes.

But I’ve never had them all together in one place — until now. “The Christian Woman’s Gratitude Journal” is my latest book release that combines a gratitude and prayer journal into one. You’re going to love it as much as I do!

Through the years, I’ve used prompted and blank journals to help manage my anxiety and grow in my walk with God. So, I’ve included both in one journal, because it just makes sense to me.

Somedays even I as a writer need prompts to get my going. Other days, I have thoughts waiting to pour out of my head and onto paper.

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

The benefits of a gratitude and prayer journal

Throughout my lifetime I have struggled with anxiety. If I’m being completely honest, I know depression and anxiety have gone together at different times in my life. I have never stopped trusting in or believing in God. In fact, I’ve found anxiety and faith can co-exist and that doesn’t make me a bad Christian or mean I don’t trust God.

However, I don’t want to get stuck in those places. I have been stuck before and had my faith shaken. Healing after some of the most difficult times in my life has best been done at least in part by focusing on the things for which I’m grateful.

Not only did that give me an attitude shift in general, but doing so also helped me to see God’s goodness and blessings in the midst of the struggle.

The Bible tells us:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV) And, quite frankly, that’s easier said than done in some circumstances. Keeping a gratitude journal helps us remember to truly give thanks, even on the difficult days when we are struggling to see any good.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

What is a prompted gratitude journal?

When I think of writing prompts, I tend to think of language arts classes. Maybe you do, too. But, when it comes to journals, writing prompts aren’t designed to elicit long essays or short stories. Instead, they are often just simple.

In “The Christian Woman’s Gratitude Journal,” the prompts are designed to take no more than 5 minutes a day total per page. You’ll find three different types of prompts in this gratitude and prayer journal.

“List Three” prompts

Throughout the journal are 30 different “List Three” writing prompts. These are lines for you to list three of something for which you’re grateful. So, the first time I did a gratitude journal, I didn’t use a prompted version and really struggled some days to think of three new or different thinks for which I was thankful.

The “List Three” prompts are themed to make it easier for you. Here are some examples from “The Christian Woman’s Gratitude and Prayer Journal:”

• List three ways you’ve felt God’s love this week.
• List three of your favorite beverages.
• List three of your biggest blessings.
• List three of your favorite movies.
• List three happy moments from the day.

“Question” prompts

The gratitude and prayer journal also includes one “Question” prompt. Thirty questions total are included. These are questions you can answer usually in just one or two sentences. But, if you need more writing space, 10 lined pages with inspirational quotes at the top are included after three pages of prompts.

The “Question” prompts also help you focus on something in particular that is positive or for which you are thankful in your life. Here are some examples:

• How did you feel love from someone else today?
• What made you laugh today?
• What is your favorite Bible verse and why?
• Where and when were you able to spend time with God today?
• What did you accomplish today that makes you feel proud?

“Today’s Mood” checklist

Also on the prompted pages of “The Christian Woman’s Gratitude Journal,” you’ll find a checklist to mark off your mood for the day. It’s straightforward and easy. The following moods are included: happy, sad, angry, anxious, excited, afraid, lonely, jealous, calm and disgusted.

What is a prayer journal?

Along with the three writing prompts on 30 of the pages, the gratitude and prayer journal also include a box simply labeled “Prayers.” This space is designed for you to use however you’d like and can change from one entry to the next.

You can use the space to do any of the following (or whatever works best for you!):

• List prayer requests for the day.
• List praises for the day.
• Write a prayer for the day.
• Track prayers God has answered.

What else is included in the gratitude and prayer journal?

Along with 60 different writing prompts over 30 pages that have mood and prayer boxes as well, “The Christian Woman’s Gratitude Journal” also includes 10 lined pages that have inspirational quotes at the top. All of the quotes are original ones. For example:

• Find something in each day that makes you happy.
• You are important. You are special. You are smart.
• Doing the best you can doesn’t mean you have to be perfect.

You’ll also find 10 devotionals throughout the gratitude and prayer journal as well. These are paired next to the blank journal pages to give you space to write about them if you would like. The devotionals are uplifting and helpful in both spiritual and practical ways. You’ll find topics such as:

• Three ways to be kinder to yourself
• Understanding God’s love for us
• Prayers for women

Get your own copy here:

7 Simple ways Christian moms can help grow their children’s faith

For us Christian moms, finding ways to teach our children about God is important. More than anything, I want to help my children learn about and know God in a personal way. I love them so completely and fully. Yet, I also know I can’t be there for them every moment. It’s neither possible nor feasible. But, God can. And He knows what the future holds for them. He loves them even more than I do.

While we want to be intentional as Christian moms to teach our children about God, we also need to find the best ways to do so. Long theological lectures aren’t going to convince a 6-year-old that she needs to ask God into her heart. Trite, vague answers aren’t going to convince a 16-year-old that he needs to follow God.

It’s certainly a precarious balance and one that my husband and I continue to work on as we are raising our kiddos. Just as I want to teach my children how to take care of themselves physically, I also want to teach them how to take care of themselves spiritually.

I’m still learning and growing on my journey as a Christian mom, but over the past 13 years of motherhood, I have found a few things that work for us.

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Pray.

Praying for our children is important. Praying for ourselves as Christian moms is equally important. I pray daily that I’ll be the kind of my mom my children need to raise them according to God’s will and plan for their lives. I also pray in the moment. When my kiddos are asking me questions about God, the Bible or anything faith-related, I silently pray things like, “God, give me the right words.”

Faith questions are difficult and even with kids who are only 9 and 13, we’ve already been asked some deep questions. Turning to God to help us answer is my first stop. I’ve been surprised by answers that have come to me as a result and discussions I’ve been able to have with my children. And I know that wouldn’t have happened without God’s help.

Praying with our children is also incredibly important. Each evening before bedtime, our family has prayer time together. This has a been a great time to teach our kids what praying to God can be like. We talk about prayer requests and remind them they can talk to God just like they do anyone else. They don’t need to recite memorized prayers but can really talk to Him.

Be honest.

In order to keep lines of communication wide open, I think honesty with our kids is important. My husband and I have a policy with our children that if they ask us a question, we will answer them honestly. We have adhered to that policy while also keeping their ages in mind. This is true with faith. If our kids ask us something we don’t know, we’re honest about that. We’ve told them that if we don’t know the answer, we will help them find it. We’ll turn to the Bible and our pastor to get a good answer for them.

We are also honest that some topics are debated in Christian circles. So we share our own experiences and interpretations as well as some differing views. But, we also always get back to the fact that no matter what disagreements there are, the most important thing is knowing Jesus died for our sins and wants a relationship with us.

Talk about your faith.

This might seem like a no-brainer to us Christian moms, but I think it can be easier to talk to our kids in more abstract ways about God and less about how He is working in and through our own lives. I have shared stories with my kids that happened recently and in the past of how God has helped me through situations or ways I’ve seen Him work.

You don’t have to get a 20-minute testimony to your children, but taking a minute to point out how God answered your prayer is powerful. It helps our kids realize God is still working and impacting lives today. And it shows them what a daily walk with God looks like. My hope is that it also helps them be able to see Him at work more easily in their own lives.

Listen to Christian music.

Christian music is another subtle way Christian moms can help teach their kiddos about God. I love music and have it on in the car, while I’m working and often in the kitchen as well. My kids notice it in the car the most. Without necessarily realizing it, Christian music lets them soak up the message and promise God’s love and faithfulness.

Christian radio is a great source, but I also love having my own playlist with a wide variety of Christian music. You can find the Families with Grace Playlist on Spotify with nearly 11 hours of contemporary Christian music. I keep adding to it, because it’s the playlist I listen to most often myself!

Get into God’s Word together.

Spending time together in God’s Word is important. I know my own faith walk is strongest when I’m in God’s Word. You can do this in a variety of ways. Of course, you can read the Bible together. Here are some of our favorites:

“The Jesus Storybook Bible” by Sally Lloyd-Jones is our favorite from when our kids were younger. It’s perfect for preschoolers through early elementary, but it also speaks to my heart just as much as it does to the kiddos!

“The Action Bible: God’s Redemptive Story” is a comic book style Bible. It is perfect for more visual kiddos or those who love graphic novels. This Bible works really well for my 9-year-old who is dyslexic and prefers the shorter lines of text in graphic novels.

“Hands-On Bible” is a great option for third grade to fifth graders. It’s the New Living Translation, but it also has lots of additional content designed to engage kiddos as they are reading.

“NIV True Images: The Bible for Teen Girls” is the Bible my daughter is currently using and enjoying. She’s now 13, but she got this Bible when she was 12. It’s an NIV Bible with various pull-outs of text targeted to teen girls to help them go deeper.

Because my son is only 9, I don’t have a favorite for teen boys or a gender neutral version. However, this “NIV Bible for Teen Guys” looks really similar to what my daughter has, just geared more for males. There is also the gender neutral “NIV Teen Study Bible.”

Along with reading the Bible together, take time to talk about what you’ve read. Mention relevant Bible lessons when your kiddos are struggling with something. For example, if one of my kids is afraid and stressed out at bedtime, I often remind them of my favorite Bible verse from Isaiah 41:10 (NIV), “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I have shared with both of my kiddos stories of how this verse has gotten me through various situations in life.

Try a devotion book.

This goes right along with being in God’s word together. There are a couple of ways this can work. You can read through a devotion book together as a family or read through a book separately and discuss it. Even if this isn’t something you do every day, give it a try.

We always go through a family devotion book together at Christmastime. We use “A Family Christmas,” which is a series of two five-minute Christmas devotion books for busy families I wrote because I couldn’t find one I liked very much for our family. “A Family Christmas Volume One” is ideal for families with preschool through early elementary children. “A Family Christmas Volume Two” works well for families with upper elementary through teens.

Try a journal and devotion book combo that get you into and talking about God’s Word through writing. My daughter and I published a faith-based mother and daughter shared journal last year called “Connecting with Grace.” It’s great for moms and daughters to get to know each other even better and share about everything from boys to school to faith and more.

Another great option for moms and daughters is a devotion book from Stacey Pardoe and her tween daughter Bekah. “Girl to Girl” has 60 mother and daughter devotions designed to help moms and daughters deepen their faith and grow their relationships.

Go to church.

I know there can be many feelings around going to church. Unfortunately, some Christians don’t show the love of God as they are supposed to. But, being at church is important. The Bible tells us to meet together with fellow believers. Find a Bible-believing and preaching church for your entire family to get involved and grow in your spiritual walks together.

My husband and I pour so much into our children; however, having other Christians who pour into them as well is important. They hear other perspectives besides our own. And sometimes kiddos listen better to people other than their parents.

7 More prayers parents can pray for their children

As Christian moms and dads, we have a responsibility to our children in so many ways from teaching them and caring for them to praying for them. In fact, prayers for your children is one of the most important tools you have as a parent.

While I pray daily for my children, I sometimes can get stuck in a bit of a prayer rut. I can find myself praying for my kids in the same ways or about immediate needs of theirs. However, I want to be intentional about praying for all aspects of their lives and their futures.

So, I am continuing with two weeks of prayers for my kids. And I’d love for you to join me on this journey of intentional prayers for your children. Today is part two of the prayers. Prayers for your children part 1 includes seven Bible verses and prayers just like this post does. You can pray them in any order. Combine them to end up with two weeks of intentional prayers for your children!

Why we should keep praying for our children

As we are continuing on with prayers for our children, I want to encourage you to keep going and keep praying. In my life, discouragement is one of the tools Satan uses most to get to me. Through the years, I have learned the best way to combat that is with prayer. I talk to God when I’m feeling discouraged about what I’m doing and whether it’s even worth it. I’m honest with Him and ask for help, wisdom and discernment.

And sometimes we can even feel discouraged in our prayer lives. I have prayed for situations and people so many times and am not able to see God at work. Yet, through faith and what His Word tells me, I know He is working even when I cannot see. So I mustn’t give up and neither should you!

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.”

Colossians 4:2 (NIV)

The Bible constantly reminds us to pray without stopping. As we continue on with intentional prayers for our children this week, may we devote ourselves to prayer, be watchful and be thankful that God is working all the time.

Their mental health

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

God, I ask that you be at work in my children’s minds. Lord, help them with their mental health. Cast out any anxiety, fear and self-doubt they have. Replace it with goodness and strength that comes from you. Fill my children with your peace and calmness so they may live fully in your power and love. Protect them from any influence that brings harm to their mental wellbeing. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Their relationship with God

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5 (NIV)

Father, be with my children. Open their hearts and minds fully to you. If they do not know you as personal savior, help them to come to know you as personal savior. And if they do know you, Lord, strengthen and deepen their faith. Help them to stay connected to you in spite of all they have going on and the temptations in the world. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Their relationship with siblings

“Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.”

1 John 2:10 (NIV)

God, grow my children’s relationships with one another. Help them to love each other and treat each other with kindness. Give them grace and compassion for one another. Build their relationship with each other so that they may be friends as well as siblings. Lord, keep hard feelings from growing and festering among them. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Their relationship with parents

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
   and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
They are a garland to grace your head
    and a chain to adorn your neck.”

Proverbs 1:8-9 (NIV)

Father, I ask that you help my children to have a good relationship with my spouse and me. Lord, give us wisdom as we parent them to be the kind of parents they need to raise them according to your will and plan for their lives. Help both our children and us to show grace, love and compassion to one another. Keep us close as they grow. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Their physical health

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”

3 John 1:2 (NIV)

God, please be with my children physically. Meet their physical needs and help them to remain healthy in every way. Lord, let their bones continue to grow strong and their bodies function well. Help them to enjoy good health. And if they do have health struggles, Father, help us to turn to you and remember that you are always in control and always good. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Their safety

“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NIV)

Father, protect my children. Keep them safe when they are with me and safe when they are without me. Put a hedge of protection around them to protect them from the evil one and his schemes. Keep them safe in every way, everywhere they are. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Their future

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2 (NIV)

God, give my children wisdom and discernment as they grow and decide the path for their lives. Help them to seek and find your will and plan for them. Lord, renew and refresh their minds so they can be open to what you have for them. Open and close the right doors for them according to your will and plan. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Find prayer cards with these prayers for your children on Etsy

5 Ideas for busy Christian moms to connect with God

Finding ways to connect with God can be challenging for anyone. But Christian moms in the thick of raising children can really struggle to find ways to connect spiritually with God.

We are pulled in multiple directions at the same time, our thoughts are often interrupted and quiet time can be nearly nonexistent (especially for moms of littles!).

But finding ways to connect with God is important not only for our own spiritual walk but also for our spiritual leadership for our children. I want to demonstrate what a real-life relationship with God looks like to my kids. And I know the more in-tune I am with God, the better mom I am.

The struggle is certainly real, though. Being nearly 13 years into motherhood, I’ve had times where I felt more distant from God in the everyday pressures and busyness of raising children.

I never got away from Him, but finding time to spend with Him has been difficult at times in my life.

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Encouragement for moms of littles

When I had a toddler and baby and was getting almost no sleep at night, my brain could focus only on survival — and even that was iffy some days! During that phase of my life, I learned God knew exactly where I was and what my struggles were. Just because I was running low on time to read my Bible and pray for longer times, He knew right where I was. I was honoring and serving Him in taking care of the children He blessed me with.

Also during this time I was reminded of God’s grace. He knew my capacity and saw my struggle. I still remember a Sunday morning sermon from this time in my life. Well, I don’t remember the sermon itself. I got distracted by a verse that my pastor read from Isaiah.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

Our Father knows how difficult it is for moms with littles. He gently leads us. I didn’t need to feel guilty; I could just rest in Him. If you’re in that phase of life right now, know God isn’t angry with you when you don’t have as much time to spend with Him as you once did. Through the years, you will learn new ways to connect with Him — and that’s OK! In fact, that’s what this post is all about.

1. Utilize alone time in the bathroom.

My kids are now both in school all day, and I still struggle with finding alone time! That’s in part because my husband and I work from home together, but I know I’m not alone in this challenge. The most consistent alone time I have is when I’m in the shower and getting ready for the day. So, I use that time to connect with God.

It sounds weird to talk about getting spiritual in the bathroom, but it works. Even before I had children, I found that praying in the shower works well for me because I have no distractions or interruptions. I am performing a sort of mindless task and can focus on God more easily; I still continue to do that.

I usually spend about 10 minutes drying my hair on low with a diffuser (the joys of curly hair!). So, that’s when I read my devotion book and Bible then pray over requests on my prayer list I maintain in a free app on my phone.

I don’t shower every morning. If I do my hair turns to cotton candy! Plus, I also shower at night sometimes. So on those mornings, I start praying while I’m brushing my teeth. That may sound a bit silly, but it works for me to associate prayer with part of my routine.

More recently I’ve started listening to sermons while I’m getting ready. It started during the season of Lent and has continued. My absolute favorite is Sarah Jakes Roberts. She preaches the Word in such a relatable way. My daughter first discovered her. I checked her out to make sure she was OK for my 12-year-old and found that I love her just as much. She encourages me in my spiritual walk and connecting with God.

2. Connect with God in the car.

Another great time time to connect with God is in the car. This is true especially if you get alone time in the car. I’m at a phase of motherhood where that happens more regularly now as I’m driving to pick up the kids from school and such. I have used this time to listen to Sarah Jakes Roberts’ sermons, but what I do mostly is listen to Christian music.

Music is powerful and connects me with God more easily than anything else. Listening to Christian music helps me to focus on Him and reminds me of His presence. I maintain a Families with Grace playlist on Spotify that I usually listen to in the car (and while I work). Christian radio also works. And I continue the music with my kiddos in the car as well.

If you do happen to find yourself alone in the car, it can also be a great time to talk with God (eyes open, of course!). I’ve done that before, but more often I use car time for praise and worship music.

3. Get up early (or stay up late).

When my kids were little and at home all the time, I’d get up early to have quiet time with God before the day started. This was past the earlier days I mentioned with a toddler, a baby and minimal sleep. Having 15 minutes to read my devotion book and Bible and pray got my day started off well. It was often my only quiet time in the day.

If you aren’t a morning person, consider doing this at night before bedtime if you can. If your kids still take naps, use part of naptime to connect with God. Find something that works for you and your schedule, even if it isn’t every single day. Connecting with God isn’t an all or nothing activity. Small ways you connect with Him add up and help you grow spiritually.

4. Utilize resources to get into the Word.

I’ve been in church my entire life and have heard more times than I can count the importance of regularly getting into God’s Word. I agree completely, but what I don’t often hear is what that looks like and how to make that happen.

Honestly, if I pick up my Bible and just start reading at random, I don’t always get a lot out of it. My mind can start wandering even as I’m going through the words. I can struggle to connect what I’m reading to my own life.

For that reason, I most enjoy using a devotion book along with my Bible reading. I’ve used a variety of them through the years and do a different once each year. My 2022 devotion book is “Not Without You” by Natasha D. Frazier. (It’s free on Kindle Unlimited!) Each entry is relatively short, but packs a punch. It includes a focus verse but also additional verses for reading.

No matter what devotion book you pick, make sure it is focused on the Bible and encourages you to read from the Bible regularly. I enjoy having my devotion book on my Kindle and use the Kindle app on my phone along with the YouVersion Bible app to read. I love it’s all portable, so if I end up getting behind or not having a chance to read during my usual time, I can read anywhere I am when I am able to.

5. Have a verse of the day.

Reading your Bible and delving into God’s Word is important to help you connect with God and grow in your spiritual walk. Along with that, I’ve found having a verse of the day is helpful. Right now, I’m using a flip calendar on my desk that a friend gave me. It’s all about walking by faith and each day has a Bible verse or encouraging spiritual statement. It’s simple and I really like it.

Scripture cards are also a great way to focus on a verse a day. You can put them in an envelope or attach them with a ring binder clip and rotate through them to keep yourself encouraged and focused on God’s Word each day.

An unexpected miracle

A couple of weeks ago I had an appointment with my urologist. I walked out of his office with tears in my eyes. I stood before the elevators and tried to grasp what had just happened.

This wasn’t the first time I’d felt teary and overwhelmed after leaving his office. I’ve been seeing the guy for two decades to treat my interstitial cystitis. I’ve seen his receptionist and nurse retire. At one point I went so often that I noticed any small change to the waiting room layout and pretty much the entire office knew me by name.

I’ve left there in significant pain. In the past, I’ve walked out of there disheartened because I knew there were not answers for my pain and discomfort.

But I had tears in my eyes following my recent visit for a different reason. After going down to yearly appointments to keep up with my medications, my urologist said something I truly never thought I’d hear him say. He told me it’s up to me whether I return to see him again. He was releasing me because I didn’t really need him any more.

Even now those words choke me up. This journey I’ve been on started when I was 3 years old. There have been highs and lows. I’ve had times that were miserable and a short period of time in high school and college when I was in a remission. But since my symptoms returned when I was 23, they have taken me on a journey I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

About healing

Being in your early 20s with health struggles is difficult. None of my friends really, truly understood where I was coming from. I sought out others with IC and others with chronic pain. We knew the struggle. We understood feeling left out, trying to juggle appointments, figuring out how to pay for everything and praying desperately for healing.

When I was younger, I thought cancer would be better. Cancer is something you either get better from or don’t. It doesn’t just continue indefinitely. Through the years I’ve learned that’s not even close to being the case, but when you are struggling with finding hope through constant pain that nobody has a solution for, thoughts get crazy.

I won’t bore you with details of all the various treatments and medications I’ve tried. However, I do want to share with you my journey about healing and my faith. In my mid-20s, God showed me I was putting my hope in the next line of treatment or medication instead of putting my hope in Him. I wasn’t truly living faith. I shifted my perspective and began keeping my hope in God and trusting that whether any treatment worked, God would be with me every moment. And He has been!

But then that begs the question of supernatural healing. I have seen God heal people. My dad is alive today thanks to the divine touch of our Heavenly Father. I know God has and can heal people. He wasn’t healing me, though, and that was something with which I struggled. A part of me thought since I’d put my hope in God more than in medicine, then I’d learned my lesson, and He’d heal me.

I’ve prayed for healing. I know others have prayed for healing on my behalf. However, God said no. Eventually, the Holy Spirit led me to pray for healing from the need to be healed. That sounds confusing, I know. I was just struggling so much with wanting to be healed that it was getting in the way of my relationship with God. It was affecting me in many ways, and none of them were good. When sermons were about being healed or I felt like other Christians were implying anyone would be healed with enough faith, then I got upset. My heart ached and I’d feel discouraged. I thought I was living faith, yet sometimes I didn’t feel like it.

My prayer for healing from the need to be healed was answered pretty quickly. Over time, I became OK with the fact that my healing would come in heaven rather than on earth. Of course I’d love to be healed before I die, but if not, then I was OK with that. I knew beyond a doubt that God would continue to be with me every step of the way. That was what living faith looked like to me.

And God has been with me every step. He has strengthened me when I was weak. He’s comforted me when I was alone because I didn’t feel up to leaving the house. God surrounded me with a loving, caring family who have been there through the difficult days. I am so blessed and thankful.

Learning from having a chronic illness

Having a chronic illness has taught me many things. I’ve made friends I wouldn’t have otherwise and I’ve done work I wouldn’t have otherwise. One of my best connections has come through the IC Network, a group who advocates for IC patients and works to educate and help us. I am blessed to write for them regularly as I have been for the past nearly 20 years.

My work has also given me the ability to do research about IC and learn about the latest treatments and theories. I’ve interviewed leading researchers in the field and listened to their presentations at various urology conferences. I spent my 40th birthday at a urology conference and loved it. Each urology conference I went to was overwhelming to me to see medical professionals working hard to find answers and help for us.

I’ve seen treatment for IC come a very long way through the years. I could give you all sorts of details and information that I geek out over, but I will refrain. However, this very research has led me to different urologists through the years. My local urologist has been so kind and good to me. I’ve seen a handful of them who have been far from kind and helpful. This urologist has been so compassionate and helpful, but he doesn’t specialize in IC.

So I have driven out of town and out of state in order to seek out urologists who are leading experts. I was more motivated to do this after having children when I had a newfound desire to feel the best I could to be able to do more with them. The Women’s Urology Center at Beaumont Hospital in Michigan blew me away. I’ve been there a few times and had a couple of surgeries there and am thankful for their help and compassion.

Doing article research, though, also led me to interview people in related fields. In researching an article about Pelvic Congestion Syndrome, I connected with an Interventional Radiologist. During the interview he said to me, “I think I’ve found a cure for IC.” I was polite, but internally I scoffed. I’ve heard promises of cures for years and none of them ever panned out.

After the article released, he and I stayed in contact a little bit. I mentioned to him that the patients he was describing had histories a lot like mine. He sent me his patient questionnaire. I completed it, and he told me over the phone that he suspected I had blocked veins in my pelvis that were causing my symptoms. He told me he truly thought he could help me feel better. I remained skeptical. I was wary of getting my hopes up and being disappointed yet again.

Undergoing another procedure

The doctor I interviewed referred me to his colleague who sent me for imaging to determine if I had blocked pelvic veins. Lo and behold, I did. My left iliac vein was 70% blocked. His solution was an outpatient procedure to put in a stent. By that time, I’d had three major pelvic surgeries and four minor ones. What was one more? So in March of 2021, I spent my kids’ spring break out of town having an 11 mm stent inserted into my left iliac vein.

I didn’t feel any difference at first. Of course at first my pain was much worse, but it was overall the least painful recovery I’ve had for any procedure. Life returned to my version of normal. Then about 10 months in, I started noticing that I hadn’t been having my usual bladder symptoms for a while. A couple of months later, I tried going off of the bladder medication I had been taking since I was 23 (other than while nursing or pregnant). It was the same medication I took for about a year during middle school as well.

That was six months ago. I haven’t had any trouble since then. None. I am going to the bathroom the same amount of times as a “normal” person. I’m not even having to be as vigilant about the things I eat. (Foods and beverages often flare IC symptoms.)

Remission or healing?

So where does that leave me now? Am I in remission or am I healed? Honestly, I’m not sure. I just know that I feel well. I still have other chronic health issues that have come up through the years that cause me trouble and pain, but for the first time, my bladder isn’t at the top of the list. That is so incredibly significant in my life.

When my local urologist told me a couple of weeks ago that I don’t need to come back unless I start having problems, it began to really sink in to me that this is real. I called my mom on the way home from the appointment, and we both cried. I had made peace with the fact that my healing would be in heaven. But here I am on earth right now not having to struggle as much.

While I’m perhaps in a bit of shock, but I just praise and thank God. He is the One who led me to connect with the work I do and the doctors I’ve met. He has been with me every single step of the way.

Can my symptoms return? Yes. I’ve certainly learned that nothing with my health is a guarantee. But maybe my bladder symptoms really were caused by the lack of blood flow to my bladder. Having that blood flow restored and allowing time for my bladder to heal itself may be what worked for me in the end.

Long ago I had to learn to enjoy the good days without stressing about the bad days that were sure to come. (It’s an important lesson when you have a chronic illness.) Right now, I’m going to enjoy the good days. I’m going to praise God for taking care of me as He always has. I’m going to bask in His goodness and rejoice over finding relief I never expected to come.

For years, I’ve waited for this. I keep thinking it is too good to be true, but recently seeing my urologist and his reaction helped me understand even more that this is real — at least for now. God was with me in the wait and surprised me beyond what I could have hoped for so many years later. My heart is full of gratitude today!

A look at God’s goodness on difficult days

I first wrote this post about how God is good back in June of 2014 when my kiddos were toddler and preschool age. Remembering that God is good is always timely. Considering this post talks about them both being sick is even more timely for me right now since they are again both sick at the same time. Thankfully right now they are just dealing with head colds and don’t need nearly as much help at 9 and 12 as they did at 17 months and 4 years!

About two years ago my son came down with a virus. Considering the dude is 17 months old, I might be exaggerating. It was actually last Friday, but since my daughter has since come down with the same virus and it lasts about a week, time is passing a bit slowly for me right now.

The good news is that neither kid has been hit super hard with this virus, just enough to make them tired, a bit grumpy and clingy. It could be way worse. However, it’s also highly contagious. Somehow they shared their germs with my mom who hasn’t seen them in more than a week. Fortunately no one else has come down with it. We’re staying in and missing out on a good week of activities to keep our germs to ourselves. Maybe by this weekend we’ll be all clear of contagions. I can’t wait. Sick kids aren’t super fun, but being sick isn’t super fun, so I don’t blame them.

The exhausting everyday moments of parenthood

Last evening, though, my son was feeling better but still grumpy. He started getting back into things he hasn’t in weeks, like the dog’s water dish, over and over again. Then he was climbing on the table. He wanted to simultaneously be in my lap and on the floor. My daughter wanted to play. Her ideas were having me mimic her dance moves. I was tired. It had been a long day. It was the kind of day that lasted longer than my patience. I debated about loading everyone in the car in their pajamas just to go for a ride. I didn’t care where, I just needed to be out of the house and not have someone hanging off of me.

It was also raining. My husband had recently repaired a gutter and went outside to check on it. Lucky duck, I thought. At least he got to get out of the house. (My son might not have been the only grumpy one!) He came back in and said he had something neat to show our daughter. She slipped on shoes with her nightgown. I scooped up the baby and we went out, too. It was raining, but we have a covered patio. The “neat thing” my husband had to show off was an intricate spider web. My son couldn’t care less, I didn’t care much and my daughter thought it was pretty cool. However, we were out of the house! We sat on the patio, listening to the rain on the metal roof for a little while. It was the change of scenery that I think we all needed.

Finding joy in the simple things

Sometimes it’s the simple parts in life that make it so good. I wouldn’t say that this has been an overall great week. It hasn’t be horrible and could definitely have been worse, but it also could certainly have been better. My daughter is missing out on her first experience with Vacation Bible School thanks to being sick. She has literally been counting down the days for a month and was looking forward to having me be with her leading around the preschoolers. I was looking forward to her having fun and learning more about God. She is so very interested in God and Bible stories right now. She has a love for Him that makes my heart burst. I don’t want to quash that. I want to encourage and nurture that. And I thought VBS would be one way to do that.

However, God had different ideas. I’d be lying if I said I understood completely or knew what He was thinking. I don’t. In fact, I’ve cried about it this week a couple of times. I’ve prayed about it. As soon as my son got sick, I prayed that somehow my daughter and I wouldn’t so we could still go. I firmly believe God heard my prayer; He just said no. Sometimes “no” is a hard answer to hear. I think I’m more disappointed than my daughter is. But, I do know that always God has a plan. God is good and always in control. I can trust Him even when hardships — whether small or big — don’t make sense.

I’ve learned that lesson time and again, even when I doubt. I’ve learned that in living with a chronic illness when I’ve not understood reasons for suffering. And I’ve learned that when proverbial doors not only closed on me but slammed shut in my face and smashed some fingers in the process. God doesn’t always make sense.

In my humanity, I sometimes get mad about it. Sometimes my feelings get hurt. Sometimes I get so frustrated that in trying to do the right thing and making choices God has led me to make that I still can get punched in the face with a hardship. It’s not always fair. But, God never said life would be fair and therein lies the rub. Therein lies the difficulty.

God is good

However, I have learned that even when life doesn’t make sense, God does make sense. I have told my daughter time and again that she doesn’t always need to understand why my husband and I ask her to do something, she just needs to do it because we said so. (Trust me, the girl wants us to explain everything all the time and sometimes she just needs to trust us.) Just like I’d never lead my children astray, just like I have valid reasons for disciplining them when they do something wrong, so God does the same for me. At the end of the long, hard day — even through my hurt, frustration and tears — all I have left (all I really had to begin with) is to trust God and lean fully on Him.

I can look back now other major hardships in my life and see how God worked them for my good. I can look back at other hard times and still not understand them, but I trust that just like I look out for my children, He is looking out for me. My toddler and preschooler can’t understand as much as I do at age 35. I can’t understand as much as God does as the maker of the universe and creator of everything in it. I just have to trust in One Who loves me more than I can fathom.

And so even in small hardships like having temporarily sick kiddos who are missing out on things they were looking forward to, I can trust. I can know that God really does work all things to the good of those who love Him even when little things (and big things!) don’t make sense.

While I wouldn’t mind a bit of a break in the craziness of life this week, I am working to be thankful in all circumstances at all times. Because God is good all the time. He is ever faithful.