Author: Stacey A. Shannon

Stacey A. Shannon is a freelance journalist and blogger who has been published internationally. She's also a Christian, a wife and a mom of two school-aged children. She started Families with Grace in 2019 to encourage Christian moms as they create homes filled with grace, love and faith. Be sure to get the FREE family devotion book, "Finding Grace at Home: 7 Days of 5 Minute Devotions for Families." It's a great way to help your family draw closer to each other and to God. Motherhood can be lonely. You weren't meant to go on your motherhood journey alone. Connect with Stacey and other Christian moms like you in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace! And check out the books from Stacey A. Shannon as well!

Growing through difficulties

Posted on January 28, 2020June 5, 2024 by Stacey A. Shannon

How God uses our past struggles to grow and strengthen our faith

Yesterday morning I drove my kids to school so my husband could sleep in a bit. The last couple of nights have been his most comfortable nights of sleep and being able to be in bed since he fractured his ribs in mid-December. If the guy can finally have a chance to get good rest, I will let him!

As I was driving the kids, we were chatting. I told them we may have to go to the store and figure out a new cell phone for me. It’s been a long time coming. My battery is slowly getting worse and worse. We’ve replaced it, and that didn’t matter. We have tried most everything, but something in my chemistry is hard on phones. (No joke!) Sunday night, my phone turned itself off overnight while plugged in. I powered it up on Monday morning and within a minute it went from 100% battery to 94% and only went down from there. Plus, it was slow to even come on.

My daughter joked with me about what is up with me right now, because my car is also broken down and unusable. We are working on that as well. It needs a repair my husband can do once he is back to normal and the weather cooperates. But, it also is just an older car and time for us to upgrade to something newer.

I told my kiddos that we’d figure it out. No worries. And, you know what? I truly meant that. We will figure it out. We don’t need to worry.

As I was driving home, I thought about these things. I’m not excited to pay for a new cell phone or new car. I know the other expenses our family has. However, I really am also not stressed, which is remarkable to me.

I’ve come a long way from the person I was when my husband and I were first married at 20 and 22. I remember a few times in our early years of marriage that unexpected expenses would come up, and I’d burst into tears.

The difference between Stacey 20 years ago and Stacey now is a lot of living that’s given me perspective. I’ve learned what really matters; money, cars and cell phones aren’t at the top of the list. I’ve had ups and downs. I’ve survived losses, heartaches and health struggles. And I’ve grown and matured.

Even more importantly, I’ve grown in my faith. I have seen God provide a way for us time and again. My husband, who is our main income source, was without a job for an entire year and somehow that entire year we were able to continue paying our mortgage. We didn’t come out unscathed, but we made it through. Whenever an unexpected bill came in, usually an unexpected income arrived as well and we were able to make it.

We aren’t in that situation now, thankfully. While there are other things I’d rather spend the money on or put it in our savings, having a phone and car that work are necessary.

Since we both work from home, my husband and I have had some leeway in getting a new car for me. But we’ve had to do some intentional planning to make sure everyone gets where they need to be. Add in that he sometimes has to go into his office that is an hour away, and we definitely need another vehicle for transporting our family.

We will make it. We will figure it out. I’ve been praying that God will guide us and lead us in making good choices for our family as we figure it all out. I’m praying that He opens and closes the right doors for us as we go along. I fully trust that He will.

And I’m thankful I’m stronger. I can see how all the hard times I’ve been through have helped me to grow and mature in general and in my faith walk. I have survived when I thought I wouldn’t make it. I’ve seen God show up every single time. He has never left me hanging.

Feeling thankful for trials and hard times isn’t easy. Some of them I wish I could change, but I am thankful for the lessons learned and the ways God has used them to grow me.

Quick & easy pepperoni pizza pinwheels recipe

Posted on January 23, 2020September 18, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

These pepperoni pizza pinwheels are short on time but not on flavor!

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I can pretty much guarantee that any recipe that has to do with pizza is going to be something that my family will love and devour. A few years ago, I stumbled across this recipe for pepperoni pizza pinwheels. I don’t even remember where I saw it, but I changed it slightly and it’s now a recurring recipe for our family.

It’s the kind of recipe that works well for an appetizer, carry-in or dinner. Pepperoni pizza pinwheels are ideal party food if you are hosting a get-together as well!

Though I use only pepperoni for our family, you could easily use other pizza toppings your family likes as well as long as you chop them well. (If you are using another meat like hamburger or sausage, be sure to cook it first before adding it into this recipe, just like you would for a pizza.)

Preheat your oven according to the directions on your canned pizza crust. (Mine said 425-degrees.) Spread your pizza crust out onto a large cutting board to form a large rectangle.

Next, you can add Italian seasoning to the crust for a little extra flavor. You can use Italian seasoning blend, oregano, crushed red pepper or whatever you have on hand. You can also skip this step. I have made the pepperoni pizza pinwheels both with and without the seasoning, and it’s good both ways!

Then you spread shredded cheese over the top of the seasoning. I use either mozzarella or Italian blend. Cover the crust with a layer of cheese. This is how much cheese I put on and my husband and kids don’t like much melted cheese! (My husband prefers pizza ordered with 1/4 the usual amount of cheese from restaurants.)

Next, chop your pepperoni (and other pizza toppings if desired) and spread it evenly over the top of the cheese layer. You could buy the pepperoni sticks or diced if you can find it. I usually just have round pepperoni slices on hand, so I use a sharp ceramic knife and cut them into small pieces.

Your pepperoni pizza pinwheel crust is now all ready. Starting from one of the longer ends of the rectangle, roll the dough tightly. If you’ve made cinnamon rolls before, it’s the same sort of roll. It will turn into one long log like this:

Using a very sharp knife (I love ceramic knives for their sharpness and ease to care for), slice the roll into about 1-1/2 inch thick slices. Place the cut slices onto a cookie sheet sprayed with non-stick cooking spray or covered with parchment paper. (I recommend parchment paper for easy clean up.)

Chances are, you’ll have cheese and some pepperoni left on your cutting board when you are finished. I take this and spread it over the pepperoni pizza pinwheels on the baking sheet — no sense in having ingredients go to waste!

Now you’re ready for the oven. Your pepperoni pizza pinwheels should look something like this:

Bake them in your preheated oven for 12 to 15 minutes until they are lightly browned.

You can serve the pepperoni pizza pinwheels with pizza sauce, but my family loves them best served with Ranch dressing to dip them in. (And then that lets me easily add some baby carrots on the side for them to dip as well!)

These pepperoni pizza pinwheels are best served warm.

Quick & easy pepperoni pizza pinwheels

Print Recipe

Ingredients

1 13.8 oz. refrigerated pizza crust
Italian seasoning if desired
1-1/2 cup shredded mozzarella or Italian blend cheese more or less to taste
10 slices of pepperoni diced
Other diced pizza toppings if desired (all other meat should be cooked ahead of time)

Instructions

Preheat the oven according to the temperature on the pizza crust (mine said 425-degrees).
Open the pizza crust and stretch it out into a flat rectangle on a large cutting board.
Sprinkle Italian seasoning, oregano or crushed red pepper over the crust, if desired.
Top with shredded cheese. The cheese gets crispy and not gooey on these, so I usually use more cheese than normal for my family, but I also have a family who doesn't like much melted cheese (pray for them!).
Top with the diced pepperoni. (You can also use other diced pizza toppings if desired. If you are using another meat, like hamburger or sausage, be sure to cook it first.)
Roll the crust into a tight log starting on one of the short ends of the dough.
With a sharp knife, slice the roll into about 1-1/2 inch thick rolls and place on a cookie sheet sprayed with non-stick cooking spray or covered in parchment paper. (I recommend the parchment paper route for easier clean up!)
Bake for about 12 to 15 minutes until lightly browned. Serve with pizza sauce or Ranch dressing for dipping.

An easy Valentine’s tradition your family will love!

Posted on January 21, 2020January 25, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

A simple DIY craft makes my family feel loved each February

Crafts aren’t my thing. Decorating my house isn’t really my thing either. But loving my family is definitely my thing! I especially love being able to show them love in simple, yet meaningful ways. And we have a Valentine’s tradition that does just that.

A few years ago, I ran across the idea on Pinterest. And when I say a few years, I know it was when my oldest (who is now 10) was too young to even read and my youngest was a baby. So it’s been going a good while.

How our Valentine’s tradition works

The night before Feb. 1, I tape a big heart made of construction paper on my kids’ bedroom doors that says their name and “We love…” in black Sharpie. Then I add a small heart on the door saying something we love about them. Each night from Feb. 1 through 14, they get a new heart of something we love about them.

I try to come up with different ideas each year. I cover a variety of topics from physical attributes (your beautiful smile or your big brown eyes) to behaviors (how well you play with your sibling) to academics (how well you read).

During the last week of January, I make a list of 14 things I love about each child. I show it to my husband and get his input. It isn’t hard to think of 14 things I love about each of my kids. Usually I have to make myself narrow it down and focus, because I’m a proud mama who loves her kiddos!

Then I make the hearts ahead of time and store them with Scotch tape in my nightstand drawer. I set a reminder on my phone for 9 p.m. each night so that I don’t forget. And I simply tape a heart on their doors each night. You could make the hearts each night if you wanted. I like doing them all ahead of time, because I’m drained by bedtime!

While you could totally get creative and crafty with your hearts (and feel free to do so if that’s your thing!), you can also keep them incredibly simple. I use construction paper. I totally do the “fold the page in half and cut out hearts” strategy that I learned way back in elementary school. Then I write on them with a black Sharpie. Easy peasy!

Including your spouse

Last year, I decided to include my husband on the fun. I used the back of our closet door so he’d see his new heart each morning.

It’s simple and easy, but everyone loves being told what is lovable about them. We all love being appreciated and noticed. While I try to tell my kids and husband these things frequently, life gets busy and I don’t get to share these things as often as I’d truly like.

I love having a couple of weeks set aside each year that they can read all the things we love about them. I keep the hearts short, sweet and simple. For the first time this year, I don’t think either of my kids will need help reading their hearts. It’s pretty neat to see how much they have grown from me reading hearts to my daughter before she could read and telling my son about them before he probably even understood what I meant.

I’m not sure how long this tradition will go on. It may evolve through the years. Maybe one of these days, I’ll text my kids each day Feb. 1 through 14 with something I love about them. It’s definitely something I’d like to continue to be intentional about loving my family out loud. What better time to do that than Valentine’s?!

Looking for more Valentine’s ideas? Check out these posts:

Don’t get caught in the mom comparison trap

Posted on January 16, 2020November 10, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

Comparing ourselves to other moms never ends well

Each school day, I send a note along in my children’s lunchboxes. Now that my daughter is older, we have started having theme days. Our notes have evolved into Motivation Monday (an encouraging or inspiring quote), Truth Tuesday (a Bible verse), Wacky Wednesday (a joke), Think or Thank Thursday (an interesting piece of information or something I am thankful for about her) and Fun Friday (something wacky and fun like stickers with speech bubbles).

Don't get caught in the mom comparison trap

I enjoy doing the lunchbox notes. I have even written a serial story a couple of times for my daughter with a new installment each day for a week. But, it makes sense this is my thing: I’m a writer. I always have been, and I love it. It’s one way I can pop into my kids’ lives in the middle of their school day and I enjoy doing so.

However, I also know that writing daily lunchbox notes — let alone theme notes — is not everyone’s thing. When a friend recently shared that his wife felt inferior for the stuff she saw on Pinterest (like writing lunchbox notes) but didn’t do, I understood that perspective. But I also thought about all the things his wife is good at that I’m not.

For example, she takes beautiful photos of their children in everyday life. Some of the photos she shares on social media are just precious. She has a knack and skill for photography that I do not.

Looking at other moms

I would bet that since the very first moms ever met one another, the mom comparison trap formed. We all have strengths and weaknesses and we may be OK with them in theory or even in other areas of life, but we can be left feeling like we fall short when we don’t measure up to moms we see around us or online.

I don’t even have to look far to find moms good at things I’m not. My own mother, for example, is a great housekeeper. I am mediocre — and that’s an improvement from a few years ago! She also can sew to repair my kids’ clothes when they get small tears. I can thread a needle, but am at a loss at what to do from there. I can’t even sew on a button.

I have another friend who is an art teacher and incredibly talented. For each of her children’s birthday parties, she draws a custom coloring page based on the theme. All the guests then color the picture and she hangs them up on display. I can barely draw a stick figure. The best I can do is stay in the lines coloring printed coloring pages and even then I don’t get fancy and do any shading or anything.

The moms of some of my kids’ classmates come up with and execute some very cool and elaborate parties and party ideas for class parties and birthday parties. I search Pinterest for the easiest thing I can find, and even that is stretching it for me.

I have another friend who can bake. She works as a professional baker. While I enjoy baking and do a very, very small amount of decorating, my skills are nowhere near her creations. Not even close!

Motherhood isn't about being perfect and excelling at homemaking, crafts, baking and everything else. Motherhood is about loving our kids. -- Stacey A. Shannon

Looking at yourself

I could go on and on and on. The thing is, I’m not those other women. I don’t have the same skillsets and natural talents that some of them do. Yes, I could take photography, sewing, drawing and decorating classes, but those aren’t things I enjoy enough to do so. I don’t want to spend the time, energy or resources on them.

And that’s OK. I am who I am. Who I am is the woman that God made. Who I am is the woman God gave my children to. The same is true for you. None of us are identical. My strengths and passions are different from yours. It is what makes us unique people. While we tell our kids to embrace their individuality and we try to do so in ourselves, we often fail at that when it comes to embracing our individuality as moms. We get caught in the mom comparison trap.

I’d bet right now you can tell me things you see other moms doing that you feel guilty you don’t do. I can make a LONG list of these things. I remember feeling it when my sister-in-law and I took our kids to a corn maze back when my oldest was only 11 months old. My sister-in-law stopped at a corn stalk and let her daughter (who was 3) and her triplet 1-year-olds feel the corn stalk. Of course, she let my daughter feel it as well.

It never once crossed my mind to let my daughter feel the texture of the corn stalk. Does that make me a bad mom? Nope. Does it make my sister-in-law a better mom? Also, nope. We are just different.

Coming up short in the mom comparison trap

Whenever we compare ourselves to other moms, we often come up short. We are judging their mom abilities at their best against our mom abilities at our worst. Instead we need to focus on how we love our kids and meet their needs. We don’t want to be so caught in the mom comparison trap that we miss out on what matters most!

We all do that differently. Written words are part of my life in so many ways that I’ve shared that with my children. We first started reading a bedtime story to our oldest when she was 3 months old. Now she is 10 and her brother is about to turn 7, and we still read together every night before bed.

I have moved that into lunchbox notes as well. My son doesn’t enjoy them so much, yet, but as he becomes a better and better read, that may change. If it doesn’t, that’s OK. I’ll find another way to show him love.

Motherhood isn’t about what we do and what we’re good at. It’s not about being perfect and excelling at homemaking, crafts, baking and everything else. Motherhood is about loving our kids. It’s about teaching them what they need to know to survive in the world. It’s about showing them what God’s love looks like in practice. It’s about guarding their hearts and their minds.

None of that has anything to do with your talents and hobbies or those of the moms around you. You bring your own unique way to love and teach your children to the table and it’s the perfect way for your children. God didn’t give you those babies on accident.

Whenever we compare ourselves to other moms, we often come up short. We are judging their mom abilities at their best against our mom abilities at our worst. Instead, we need to focus on how we love our kids and meet their needs. -- Stacey A. Shannon

Snaring others in the mom comparison trap

Along with that, we must also be careful of the other side of the mom comparison trap. I’d like to say I’ve never done it, but I have. There is a side of comparison that is basically judging. Maybe it was a mom doing something differently than you at the park. Maybe it was a mom planning an elaborate birthday party for her kid. Whatever it is, we can sometimes be guilty of judging other moms for not doing things the way we do them.

We’ve got to stop that, too. Remember my art teacher friend? She and I had a discussion a couple of years ago about the difference in our parenting. I follow a pretty tight schedule for my kids. It works for us. She is more spontaneous and, at the time, didn’t have kiddos in school. Oftentimes their bedtimes were later than my kiddos got to stay up. She thanked me once for not judging her or giving her a hard time. My reply was that it worked for her family.

We are all different. And that’s OK. We all also make mistakes. Sometimes we just need to have someone come along us and say they have messed up, too, but it’s not the end of the world — even if the mistake they made isn’t one you’d struggle with.

Remembering Whose opinion really matters

We need to work to be the women and moms that God created us to be, and that’s it. Our measuring stick doesn’t come from other moms or the world. It doesn’t even come from ourselves. It comes from our Heavenly Father, and I promise you that He isn’t finding you lacking when your kids stay up an extra hour, their birthday party isn’t Pinterest-worthy and you haven’t managed to take a single photo this week that isn’t blurry.

God’s grace covers all your mess-ups. And His strength holds you up when you are wobbling. He created you, mama, just as you are. And THAT is definitely good enough, so stop comparing yourself to someone you weren’t made to be.

Moms on a Mission: Crystal, a.k.a. Innie Mom

Posted on January 14, 2020August 25, 2020 by Stacey A. Shannon

Profiles of moms who are making a difference

I am often awestruck at the women I see around me — both in real life and online — who are doing really amazing work in the midst of motherhood. These women are difference makers in the world who have identified and are living out their mission or God-given passion.

You need to know all about them, too! The Moms on a Mission series is all about these women. Once or twice a month, I’ll feature a mom who is living out her mission both inside and outside her home.

I’ve got a few other moms in mind, but I also would love suggestions. If you know a mom or are a mom who is living out her mission and God-given passion, I’d love to hear about it! Click on the “Contact” tab or send me a message through the Families with Grace Facebook page. I look forward to sharing stories that will inspire us all!

Today’s mom is Crystal, aka InnieMom. (For privacy, she chooses to not share her last name.) I started following the InnieMom blog on Facebook a couple of years ago. I’ve enjoyed her posts from the beginning as a fellow introvert. (We’re both INFJs even!) When her posts changed to include spiritual topics as well, I enjoyed her even more. I relate to so much of what she shares.

I was thrilled when she said yes to participating in the Moms on a Mission series. You’re going to be inspired and encouraged by her story!

FWG: What is your God-given mission or passion?

Crystal: My passion is Jesus. There are many things I feel called to do, but He is absolutely at the root of all of it. I just want to grow to know Him more, to surrender more fully to Him each day and to share Him and what He’s done for me with others. My prayer at the start of every day is for Him to help me surrender more fully and to be obedient to whatever it is He calls me to do. That being said, let me explain a bit about where that has lead me.

After I first became a Christ-follower, my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant. We tried for two years. The ups and downs in those few years were very, very difficult. Finally, we tried using fertility medicine and were able to conceive our fist child. We were so excited. We had a name picked out, and we had so many plans.

When a woman finds out she’s pregnant, it’s not just the baby itself, but it’s the life she imagines for that baby that she begins to plan for in her heart. Unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in a loss. My husband and I were both so heartbroken. I remember being angry with God. I didn’t understand why He’d allow me to experience that joy just to take it away from me.

I remember driving down the road and asking Him out loud, “Why? Why did You do this? If You love me, why did You allow this to happen?” I glanced over just in time to see a pregnancy resource center out my window, and it just clicked for me in that moment: “That’s it. That’s how He will use this pain for good.”

That year, I trained in that very center and coordinated their annual Walk for Life. Six years later — after losing three more babies and being blessed with two living children — once again the Lord called me to reach out to a local pregnancy resource center. I knew I was going to train to be an advocate.

As an introvert, with pretty extreme social anxiety, I literally told Jesus, “I’ll do it because it’s what You’re telling me to do, but I have NO ability to do this on my own. So I’ll go, but YOU have to take over when I get there.” And that’s exactly what He’s done. I get to help mamas in crisis pregnancy situations, and I get to share Jesus with them as well. I’m so thankful I pushed through that initial anxiety, because I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

Crystal: Volunteering. Aside from the PRC that I work with every week, I also volunteer at a local maternity home for pregnant and homeless young mothers. I get to babysit their little ones while they go out and work/go to school and assist with some of their big fundraising events.

I also try to use my platform on InnieMom to give other moms who struggle with anxiety and depression a place to feel like they aren’t so alone in the world. I hope seeing how much I love Jesus, and how much He’s changed my life will help other moms know where to turn when they are in those crisis situations. I love encouraging others to seek Him above all other things.

It’s also a goal of mine to bring a sense of “real-ness” and “human-ness” to the world of Christian blogs. I am not perfect; nobody is. I want to talk openly and honestly about my struggles, and I also want to have a bit of fun while doing it. Jesus has a wonderful sense of humor.

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

Crystal: Representing Him well, I think. I often times allow my own human fears or desires to cloud my judgement. I get angry or snarky far too easily. I can be very sassy. I’m learning to do a better job of apologizing when I mess up, whether it be as a mom, a wife, a friend or someone with a platform on social media.

I think that’s what my “page change” was all about. When I first created the InnieMom page, my goal was to have a voice. A lot of what I posted was funny, but I was compromising on my beliefs as a Christian for likes. Somewhere along the way, I realized that wasn’t what I wanted at all… nor what Jesus wanted for me. Now, everything I post is viewed through the lens of my faith in Christ.

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

Crystal: My biggest blessing, by far, is growing closer to Jesus. The more I pursue Him, the more He leads me out into these crazy adventurous waters with Him. It’s amazing and terrifying all at the same time.

Also, when people message me and tell me I’ve impacted them. I’ve had more than a few page followers say, “I’ve never found another Christian introverted mom with anxiety who isn’t afraid to talk about it.” That feels amazing. Like, hey, maybe I’m not so weird after all!

The other thing that comes to mind are hugs. At the end of some of the sessions I have with moms in crisis pregnancy situations, I pray for them. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, they ask me for a hug. Those things keep me going through appointments that aren’t so easy. In that moment, I know we’ve connected and that somehow they’ve been impacted by our session. That means absolutely everything to me.

FWG: How do you balance motherhood responsibilities with your work/mission?

Crystal: My boys keep me grounded. I’m a hyper-sensitive individual, so it’s easy to get in my head about different situations I’ve come across. I asked my kiddo what he wanted to be when he grew up and he said, “I want to be a Jesus follower like you,” which pretty much sealed the deal for me that I’m doing a pretty OK job as a mom. I try to be present in the moments when I’m with them. I try to take lots of one-on-one days with each of them. We have a lot of “slumber parties” and “snuggle nights.”

I forgot to mention, I also own an IT company with my husband. So things are hectic around here most of the time. We love our crazy beautiful lives, though. Being a business owner gives us more control over how we’re spending our time. We’re able to be there for our kiddos far more than if we were working for someone else, like taking time off for field-trips and school events. It was a scary jump to make together at the beginning of the year, but it’s been an absolute blessing.

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

Crystal: Pray for an obedient heart. Lay yourself at His feet every morning and say, “Wherever You lead me, I’ll go.” Don’t be afraid to listen to what He’s telling you. Sometimes it can be scary or completely outside of your comfort zone, but “obedience is always followed by blessing” (a quote from my good friend Summer, who’s an editor for InnieMom).

Don’t be a mom martyr

Posted on January 10, 2020September 18, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

Asking for a break doesn’t make you a bad mom

My kids have spent most of this week with my in-laws. It started on Monday afternoon when I sent a message to my mother-in-law asking if she and my father-in-law could possibly pick up the kids from school, do homework, feed them dinner and even make lunches for the next day.

Motherhood is important work, but we don't have to be mom martyrs. We can ask for help or time off and still be good moms.

That’s a lot to ask of anyone, but I could barely be upright, let alone functional thanks to sickness. My husband is operating at half capacity still with broken ribs from a fall in mid December. (He still can’t lie down in bed.) We were a mess.

That one day turned into a few days. Finally, on Thursday evening the kids came back home. And, honestly, I didn’t even miss them until Wednesday, because I was just too sick on Monday and Tuesday to think very straight.

Here’s the thing. I know if needed, I could have managed with the kids at home. I’ve done it before. As someone with multiple chronic illnesses who has had three major surgeries since having my two kiddos, I know how to manage while not feeling my best.

I can push myself, but I also know my limits. And I am incredibly blessed to have both my parents and my in-laws in town and retired. They all love a chance to have our kids over. Both sets raised two children themselves and are no strangers to homework, dinner, lunchboxes and bedtime routines. I do not for one minute take that for granted.

I’d say this week has gone much better for my kiddos in being with their Nana and Papaw. I certainly haven’t been up to cooking. I know my temper would have been short from sheer exhaustion, because I have been utterly exhausted every day even without two children in my care.

In fact, on Tuesday evening, my husband took our son to his Ninja Zone class and then returned him to Nana and Papaw’s just in time for bed. My husband heard his mother instruct our son to get ready for bed and then he could choose a snack between ice-cream and a Nutty Buddy. I mean, what kid wouldn’t love that?!

(And I am upset at the late sugary snack? Nope. It’s not what I do and won’t happen at home, but sugary snacks before bed with grandparents on occasion is just fun when you’re a kid. Not to mention, I can’t be upset with the people who are helping me out by taking care of my children during a school week!)

They came home with backpacks full of clean clothes and lunchboxes already packed for Friday, complete with notes from my mother-in-law. It was such a blessing to me.

Being tempted to be a mom martyr

However, even knowing I have help readily available that my children would prefer, I still struggle to ask for it sometimes. When I realized I was getting sick, I suspected it was the same bug my husband had previously. While he was sick, I managed the kids, puppy and everything else.

I knew he’d do the same for me in usual circumstances, but with broken ribs and crummy sleep, he isn’t up to par right now. In no time, I started in on a pity party for myself as I dragged around the house on Monday morning making sure the puppy and kids were fed and ready for the day. I was bemoaning in my head about how even though I was sick, I couldn’t have the luxury to stop. I was a mom, for goodness sake, and we don’t get days off.

My pity party continued. I was really getting going about how no matter how bad I felt, my family wouldn’t care and would still need things done.

And then I realized it didn’t have to be that way. I DO have help available. I do NOT have to be a mom martyr. Sometimes I have no choice. For example, a year ago, my husband and his parents were out of town for a funeral. My parents were in Florida visiting my brother. I was dog-sitting for my in-laws. I got a stomach bug. It was just the kids and me. We survived. They ate peanut butter and Hawaiian rolls and way too many chocolate granola bars. They got to stay home from school an extra day because I was sick, but we survived.

The thing about motherhood is that we don’t get days off — not truly. Even when my kids were with my in-laws, my mom brain was thinking about them and what they needed. I wanted to make sure my daughter had her school library book to return and my son practiced his spelling words. I can never turn off my mom brain.

Good moms can ask for help

But sometimes being a good mother means you realize that asking for help is what is best for your kids, even if it hurts your pride. Even if you don’t want to admit to other mothers that you had days without your kids to recover. (And, honestly, this has been an exceptional sickness that has required days. I’m still out of sorts.)

Motherhood is a calling. It’s important work, but we don’t have to be mom martyrs. We can ask for help and still be good moms. We can ask for time off (even when we aren’t sick!) and still be good moms.

Our foremothers understood this even more back when families lived closer together and neighbors watched out for each other’s kids. We weren’t meant to raise our kids on an island alone. Embrace the community you have whether it is family or friends. Ask for help when you need it. It really does take a village to raise our children!

“Breakfast with Jesus” book review and giveaway!

Posted on December 30, 2019September 18, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

“Breakfast with Jesus: 100 Devotions for Kids About the Life of Jesus” by Vanessa Myers

For years I’ve enjoyed having a daily devotion book to go through on my own. In fact, these days I use two. I pick one out for myself for the year and then also use the devotion book that is put out by my denomination and given out at my church.

But something newer to me is devotion books with my kids. We have read through the Bible and Bible stories many, many times. We have done short devotion series for toddlers and read through one or two verses a day during Advent. Going through an actual daily devotion book together wasn’t on our radar until last year.

How my family uses a devotion book together

We started the year with my daughter and I each using the same devotion book, “Grace for the Moment” by Max Lucado. I had the adult version; she had the children’s version. We found that just before bed was her best time to read it, but it was also a difficult time for her because it got her thinking about serious stuff that caused her to have trouble relaxing.

So we decided about a third of the way through the year to change it up and read the devotion book together each evening before we did our bedtime book. That format has worked so well for us.

While our kids have always prayed at bedtime, having the family devotion time each evening has been a blessing. Our kids, who are 6 and 10, have come up with terrific questions and insights that have lead to great family discussions.

All about “Breakfast with Jesus”

Heading into 2020, I have been thinking about what we’ll do during family devotion time. We don’t want to go through the same devotion book again. But it is also tricky to find a good devotion book for kids younger than teenagers. When fellow blogger Vanessa Myers mentioned a blog tour for her new devotion book for kids in a blogging group I’m a part of, I was excited to participate.

As a graduate of divinity school, children’s ministry director and mom of two girls, Myers knows a thing or two about sharing Jesus with children. While she had previously written two devotion books for adults, “Breakfast with Jesus” is her first devotion book for kids and, frankly, she’s done a great job.

I started reading through the devotion book on my own first to see what I thought about it and whether it would be a good fit for my family. I’m not interested in vague stories covering board topics. I shy away from writing that talks down to kids or talks above their understanding. I want something with a life application for them for now.

I was reading with a critical eye. And I ended up reading twice as many devotions as I planned to. They drew me in. The devotions go through the four Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and focus on the life of Jesus from his birth to his death to his ascension into heaven.

Each day has a short Bible reading, a focus verse, a devotion and a suggested activity that can be personal (starting a prayer journal) or community-oriented (donating to a food pantry). They were all practical ideas that worked or could be easily tweaked to work for most families.

(For example, one of the first suggestions is to go on a hike with your family and thanking God for the beauty of nature. If the weather isn’t agreeable for a hike, the car ride to school or even looking at photos of nature online could work the same way.)

While this is a book that my 10-year-old could read through on her own, it’s more than my 6- year-old could handle just yet. However, the book lends itself well to reading as a family.

My 10-year-old daughter read through a few on her own to give me feedback and really liked it. Her input was that she felt like Myers knew what she was talking about and made it relevant to her daily life. She liked that each devotion had a related prayer as well as feasible activities to live it out.

Myers suggests starting the day with the book, hence its title “Breakfast with Jesus.” The book even includes some breakfast recipes. It could be read at the family breakfast table. One Amazon reviewer said her kids read it out loud on the way to school. I think those options would work, but reading it in the evening would also be OK if that works better for your family. (It does for mine!)

The point is to help our kiddos develop a habit of getting into God’s Word and applying it to their lives in relevant ways that are based on sound doctrine. “Breakfast with Jesus” accomplishes that.

Giveaway details

You can buy “Breakfast with Jesus” on Amazon as a paperback for $13.99 or for Kindle for $8.99. But, you can also enter for a chance to win a complimentary copy from Vanessa Myers just for Families with Grace readers! You have a week to enter through the link below. Paper copies can be mailed within the United States while international copies can be sent digitally.

In order to enter the giveaway, you MUST “like” Families with Grace on Facebook and complete the giveaway form (below). You can earn extra entries by signing up for the Families with Grace email list (which will also give you a free copy of the 7-Day Acts of Grace Challenge Devotion AND 10 Ways to Start Living as a Family with Grace Now!), follow Families with Grace on Instagram, follow Families with Grace on Twitter and follow Families with Grace on Pinterest. Just indicate those options on the giveaway form. (You do not have to be new to Families with Grace to participate!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway starts at 12 a.m. EST on Dec. 30, 2019 and ends at 12 a.m. EST on Jan. 6, 2020. A winner will be randomly selected and, once confirmed that they fulfilled the mandatory guideline of “liking” Families with Grace on Facebook, will be announced on the Families with Grace Facebook page by 2 p.m. EST on Jan. 7, 2020.

Find the next stops on the “Breakfast with Jesus” blog tour on Jan. 6 at Fruitful Vine Woman and Homeschooling One Child.

Moms on a Mission: Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson

Posted on December 6, 2019January 25, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

Profiles of moms who are making a difference

Today’s Mom on a Mission is Pastor Stefanie Hendrickson, who is a pastor and editor as well as a mom of three. She is on a mission to share God’s love inside and outside of her home. You’re going to be inspired by her story!

FWG: What is your God-given mission or passion?

SH: As a teenager, I felt called by God to serve Him, but I wasn’t sure what that looked like. I thought perhaps I would serve in missions and move overseas. I distinctly remember telling my youth pastor about my calling and being frightened at his suggestion that I would need to attend seminary after college!

During my time at Olivet Nazarene University, I served on a couple of mission trips (to Italy and Croatia) and helped in any way possible to learn more about ministry. In fact, I have a passion for the written word and received a degree in literature. I added a minor in missions in order to somehow figure out what God was calling me to be “when I grew up.”

After graduation, I was an intern with the Nazarene Publishing House and ended up enrolling in seminary a few months later. It was daunting, but I moved forward and ended up earning a Masters in Divinity. Seminary is also where I met my husband who has served as my co-pastor throughout our years in ministry.

I have always been a reader; I was the kid in class reading a book while everyone else was chatting away. My first job was at the local community library. (I really, really didn’t want to work in fast food.) I even considered getting a degree in library science. (I sometimes still think about doing that because what can be better than being surrounded by books all day?!)

In my undergraduate studies, I tried to figure out how to marry my passion for the written word with my calling to ministry. My first job out of college was a Sunday School curriculum editor. And since then I’ve had the privilege to be both a pastor in a local church and serve the Church through the written word. These two avenues have allowed me to be able to equip people both for life and ministry. I love it!

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

SH: My husband and I are currently planting a new church that meets in our home. We don’t necessarily look a lot like your typical church (we all—everyone from the babies to the oldest—meet in our upstairs great room on Sunday evenings), but we believe that as society changes, the Church needs to be able to live as faithful followers. It may mean that we have to sort out the essentials and non-essentials of the faith. Our parishioners are amazing, and we have all seen a lot of growth in our lives and church.

Our church has been meeting for several years and all the while we have been reaching out to people in our community, living life beside them and inviting them to join in the life God’s grace offers. We now have some couples coming who we have been ministering to for years. Years.

American society is quickly moving to post-Christianity. We followers of Christ can fight, kick and scream about it. Or we can get busy living the grace and Christ and loving our neighbors. The difficulty is that many times that ministry of grace and love takes a long time to sprout.

In my tradition, I report to a superintendent who oversees several churches. Each year we get together to talk business and vision. The easiest way to try to assess health is numbers: numbers of people, conversion, dollars, baptisms. You name it, we count it. The problem is, those numbers do not always reflect health. (A wise seminary professor once noted that “cancer grows fast, too.”)

Our neighbors, co-workers and community members don’t typically have any connections to church or, unfortunately, good opinions of it either. Working counter-culturally is difficult enough, and many times the Church is slow to adapt in ways that reaches the people she is called to love.

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges and blessings in living out your mission?

SH: The balance of motherhood and ministry has been one many of my female colleagues have wrestled with. Being a female clergy presents its own challenges, but adding family to the mix makes it more difficult at times. The ministry is often difficult for families, because much is often expected of the ministry. And sometimes that is to the detriment of his or her family. I have been blessed with the ability to work part-time at home, but that can also make it difficult to get much done.

Our congregation is intergenerational—we all meet together for our service. It isn’t always easy, but I am continually amazed at how the children are learning that they are a part of the Body of Christ. They participate in the service. They listen to what is shared (even when it doesn’t seem like they are). They even teach the adults about the grace and goodness of God.

I think family life is a lot like that—we have to share life together, inviting our children to learn (and being willing to learn ourselves) as we guide them into maturity. Sometimes that’s messy. Other times it means we have to draw limits for ourselves.

The counseling professor at seminary once told us that as she was studying and working on her degree she had to decide what holiday traditions her family would observe. She knew she couldn’t do it all. She asked her children which things meant most to them in celebrating the holiday, and that’s what they did.

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

SH: We need to give ourselves permission to not have to “do it all.” Around our house we call it, “giving each other some grace.” I think moms especially need to know they don’t have to do it all to be what God created them to be.

I often sign my correspondences with “Grace and Peace.” The peace that is spoken of in the Scriptures, shalom, isn’t peace in the sense of being without strife. It is wholeness. I think of it as being who God created you to be.

It’s hard to have that wholeness if we allow life and the world to tear us into a thousand different directions in an attempt to be the perfect mother. That comes at a cost that is too high for any of us–or our families–to pay.

Know a mom who needs to be featured in the Moms on a Mission series? Let us know through the “Contact” tab or through a message on the Families With Grace Facebook page!

The only pumpkin bread recipe you need

Posted on November 19, 2019September 15, 2024 by Stacey A. Shannon

Once you make this pumpkin bread recipe, you’ll never make another one!

The weather has definitely cooled off here in the Midwest, which often puts me in a baking mood. One of my favorite things to make this time of year (and really year-round) is pumpkin bread. Does anything taste more autumnal than pumpkin, nutmeg and cinnamon? Nope!

My husband is a fan of many pumpkin treats. I can usually take or leave them, but pumpkin bread is the exception. It is my favorite sweet bread, hands down. I found a recipe for pumpkin bread made from scratch quite a few years ago and did a small amount of tweaking to make it just a tad healthier. It is definitely in regular rotation for my family.

I’ve made it as muffins, and it made lots of them. I’ve also made some mini loaves, but most often I make it into full-sized bread loaves. Even though it’s a from-scratch recipe, it’s super easy! When my daughter was in kindergarten, I helped a group of kindergarteners make this bread. So you can, too!

You’re going to need a large bowl for this. I used a large plastic bowl that I also use for serving potato chips when we have a family cookout. Everything mixes in that one bowl so it’s the only one you need to use — and clean!

First, stir together the dry ingredients: both flours, sugar, baking soda, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon. Measure them out, pour them in and stir them together. Also, I use part wheat flour for this recipe just to cut down on white flour, but you can use all white flour if you want. I’ve not tried it with all wheat flour.

You mix all the dry ingredients together first, including the sugar.

Next, get ready to add the wet ingredients. Make sure that you’re using canned pumpkin and NOT pumpkin pie filling.

I usually buy the store brand of pumpkin. This particular one is from Walmart.

Add in the 15-ounce can of pumpkin, water, vegetable oil and eggs. Give it a really good stir. More often than not, I stir by hand with a spoon, but you can you a handheld mixer if that’s easier. You want to get everything mixed together well, and it’s a pretty full bowl.

Once it’s all stirred together, it will look like this.

Then it’s all ready to go into pans that have been greased and lightly floured. I usually use cooking spray. I sprinkle a very tiny amount of flour and am not sure that’s even needed now that I have these awesome Rachael Ray loaf pans. I’m loving her line of bakeware because it really is good at being nonstick! I loved the one loaf pan that came with my set so much that I ordered a second one, in fact. My mom fell in love with my Rachael Ray bakeware when she tried it. She got a set of her own, and she doesn’t even bake as much as I do!

The batter divides equally between the two pans. I don’t measure it and just eyeball it.

Slide those pans into the oven and bake for an hour to hour and 10 minutes. I check mine around an hour and go from there. The loaves go side-by-side (not touching) on the same rack in the oven. I use the toothpick test to see if it’s finished. You know, the fancy method of sticking a toothpick down the center and seeing if it comes back clean (done!) or gooey with batter still stuck to it (needs to bake longer).

This deliciousness is what comes out of your oven. The top crust is a bit crunchy while warm, and the inside is moist!

This pumpkin bread so incredibly good! I store mine in either a gallon-sized zip-top bag or wrapped in Glad Press ‘n Seal (love that stuff!). It is good for at least a week. I’m not sure how it freezes, because my family eats it too quickly for me to have a chance to freeze it.

And just to show you what I mean about the Rachael Ray loaf pans, this is mine after I dumped the cooled loaves of pumpkin bread. I had prepped them with a light spritz of non-stick cooking spray and a tiny amount of flour.

Nothing sticks to these pans and they clean so easily! I’m in love with the whole set of them and have even bought the muffin and mini muffin pans as well.

Pumpkin bread

Print Recipe

Ingredients

1-1/2 cups white flour
1-3/4 cups wheat flour If you don't have wheat flour, just use 3-1/4 cups of white flour
2-1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1-1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 can 15 oz. packed pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling)
2/3 cup water
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs

Instructions

Grease and flour two 8.5 x 4.5 x 2.5-inch pans. (You can also use three 7 x 3-inch pans; just bake 10 minutes less.)
Preheat oven to 350-degrees.
Combine flours, sugar, baking soda, salt and spices into a very large bowl. Stir well to blend.
Add pumpkin, water, vegetable oil and eggs.
Beat until well combined.
Pour into prepared pans and bake for 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
Cool for 10 to 15 minutes before cutting. Enjoy!

6 tips for protecting your teens on social media

Posted on November 14, 2019January 26, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

Ivana Davies, from Find Your Mom Tribe, has some practical ideas for keeping kids safe online.

This guest post is part of the Families with Grace’s Social Media Savvy series that covers a commonsense approach to handling social media as a parent.

Social media has its positives, but like pretty much anything else online, it also has dangers. Scammers and predators are always on the prowl, and online bullying has risen significantly in recent years. Teens are constantly bombarded with ads, threats, frauds and general bad influences.

If you’re a parent, you’re probably familiar with the little gnaw of worry whenever you think about the darker corners of the web. How do I keep my child safe? What can I do to protect them without smothering them?

You aren’t alone. Many parents have these concerns, but a few tips and tricks can help keep your teen safe online.

1. Get familiar with social networks.

Most teenagers don’t use Facebook. Studies have shown that it’s less popular than sites like Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and Snapchat. Teens also do most of their browsing on their phones rather than traditional computers or laptops.

Knowing these things are important if you want to understand what your child is doing on social media. You don’t have to be a technological genius, but you should have a working knowledge of the problem if you want your actions or advice to carry any weight.

To put it another way, your child isn’t going to let you deal with Snapchat bullies if you don’t know about or can’t even operate Snapchat. Your first step in becoming a social media warrior is learning what the battlefield looks like.

2. Protect their identity.

We live in a world where our GPS-enabled smartphones can track and analyze our locations. Our social media accounts are full of names, addresses, schools, workplaces and family pictures. Most people don’t even think twice about letting an app announce who they are or where they’re going. They might even help with things like vlogs and livestreams!

Make sure your child understands the danger of giving out too much information on the web. For example, they might complain about a late ride, but they shouldn’t share street names or broadcast the fact that they’re a stranded minor at a particular location without any adults around. Don’t let them ask their followers for a lift or accept any offers from accounts they don’t know.

You should also warn them against divulging personal information just because people ask for it. You might be stunned to realize how easily teenagers are willing to share their bank information just because someone claims to need it to resell them some concert tickets.

“Could a weirdo use this against me?” is the golden rule of posting things on social media. Tell your child to memorize it and ask it of themselves before they post anything. A little diligence today can save them a lot of trouble tomorrow.

3. Remember the internet is forever.

People don’t always understand the permanency of things posted online. While this applies to both kids and adults, impulsive, short-sighted teenagers are particularly vulnerable to it.

If they make a questionable post that gets taken out of context and publicly shamed, they could be haunted by the screenshots for years to come. If they share racy selfies that get passed around, both sender and receiver could be in trouble under child pornography laws.

The “delete” button is pretty much useless on the Internet. Make sure your child understands this. If necessary, remind them of all of the silly or embarrassing things that they might’ve posted before, and ask if they would still want to be known for these things five years down the line. Remind them that whatever they post today will have to pass the five-year test someday.

4. Watch out for stranger danger.

Unfortunately, lots of predators are on the web. Some are scammers or identity thieves; others have more nefarious purposes, especially for young people.

The simple truth is you can’t protect your teenager from every creep on the Internet. You can, however, teach them how to recognize the signs of one, and make sure they’re comfortable coming to you if they suspect someone is trying to take advantage of them.

Here are a few danger signs:

Anyone who offers to send them money or buy them things
Deals that are too good to be true
Deals that require them to give personal or financial information to strangers
Weird links, ads, promos or direct messages

You should also teach your kids to never trust a profile of someone they don’t know. It’s way too easy for a 40-year-old man to pretend to be a 16-year-old girl! It’s called catfishing, and people do it for money, power, influence, sexual gratification or personal amusement.

If your child doesn’t understand the dangers of catfishing, try registering for a fake account yourself to show them how little effort it takes to lie on the Internet.

5. Install controls and blockers.

Lots of parental control software is on the market and doesn’t have to be a bad thing that your child rails against.

For example, your teen might not appreciate any programs that monitor his web activity or limits her screen time, but he or she shouldn’t be bothered by adblockers or virus blockers. As long as you’re not butting into their conversations, they probably won’t care if you know who’s on their friends list.

Content filters are usually the biggest argument. Teenagers don’t want to be restricted from seeing “inappropriate” content like they’re little kids being denied access to an R-rated movie. Try sitting down with them and seeing if you can agree on reasonable content filters for things like violence, pornography and hate speech. R-rated sites might be okay for older teenagers, but you can draw the line at X-rated.

You should probably stay away from things like keyloggers. Unless your child is being punished, that level of scrutiny is only going to foster resentment.

6. Always be willing to listen.

At the end of the day, there’s only so much that you can do to protect your child on social media.

Your best bet at staying “in the know” is to keep an open line of communication with them. Emphasize that you’re always available if they want to chat, discuss, whine, rant or ask questions about something that they’ve seen. Even if it’s just complaining about spam accounts or a bad website design, it’ll build trust between the two of you, and they’ll be more likely to seek you out if and when they have a real problem.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. You won’t have a rapport with your child after a single conversation. Just like parenting classes would tell you, it takes consistent, everyday effort to maintain an open and honest relationship about their online activity, but it can definitely be done.

About the author:
Ivana Davies is an educator turned stay-at-home mom to a beautiful 7-year-old girl and a playful 5-year-old boy. She found so much parenting information online that she started her own blog, Find Your Mom Tribe, to share her experiences and struggles as a mom. You can connect with her on Facebook and Pinterest.

This post is part of Families with Grace’s Social Media Savvy series that covers a commonsense approach to handling social media as a parent. Check out these other posts from the series:

Helping Christian moms create homes filled with grace, love & faith

How God uses our past struggles to grow and strengthen our faith

These pepperoni pizza pinwheels are short on time but not on flavor!

Quick & easy pepperoni pizza pinwheels

Ingredients

Instructions

A simple DIY craft makes my family feel loved each February

How our Valentine’s tradition works

Including your spouse

Comparing ourselves to other moms never ends well

Looking at other moms

Looking at yourself

Coming up short in the mom comparison trap

Snaring others in the mom comparison trap

Remembering Whose opinion really matters

Profiles of moms who are making a difference

FWG: What is your God-given mission or passion?

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges in living out your mission?

FWG: What have been some of your biggest blessings in living out your mission?

FWG: How do you balance motherhood responsibilities with your work/mission?

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

Read more from the series:

Asking for a break doesn’t make you a bad mom

Being tempted to be a mom martyr

Good moms can ask for help

“Breakfast with Jesus: 100 Devotions for Kids About the Life of Jesus” by Vanessa Myers

How my family uses a devotion book together

All about “Breakfast with Jesus”

Giveaway details

Profiles of moms who are making a difference

FWG: What is your God-given mission or passion?

FWG: How do you work to live out that mission right now?

FWG: What are some of your biggest challenges and blessings in living out your mission?

FWG: What’s the best advice you have for other moms who are following their passions?

Read more from the series:

Once you make this pumpkin bread recipe, you’ll never make another one!

Pumpkin bread

Ingredients

Instructions

Ivana Davies, from Find Your Mom Tribe, has some practical ideas for keeping kids safe online.

1. Get familiar with social networks.

2. Protect their identity.

3. Remember the internet is forever.

4. Watch out for stranger danger.

5. Install controls and blockers.

6. Always be willing to listen.