Stacey A. Shannon is a freelance journalist and blogger who has been published internationally. She's also a Christian, a wife and a mom of two school-aged children. She started Families with Grace in 2019 to encourage Christian moms as they create homes filled with grace, love and faith.
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This lemon squares recipe is one of my favorite things to make and take places. They sound complicated and taste so yummy, but they couldn’t be easier. I’ve taken them to numerous carry-in dinners and friends’ houses.
Every October, I make a batch of these lemon squares for my father-in-law’s birthday because he loves them. Even better, they don’t require a single lemon or lemon zest, so the ingredients are easy to always have on hand. The batter itself only takes three ingredients. That’s it!
I found this recipe years ago in one of my favorite cookbooks, “101 Things to do with a cake mix” by Stephanie Ashcraft. I have the sequel cookbook as well. Both are loaded with lots of yummy and super easy recipes that I love!
Literally all you do is mix together the cake mix, two eggs and 1/3-cup of oil in a bowl. I use my trusty stand mixer many times just because it makes my life easier in so many ways, but I have also mixed this by hand many times. The mixture will be thick and a bit stiff.
After it is mixed well, you spread the lemon square dough into a 9×13 pan that’s been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. I use a spatula to spread pretty well. Then many times, I use my clean hands to pat it into place so that it is even throughout the pan.
And, of course, I use my beloved Rachael Ray cake pan. I really love her non-stick bakeware line. It is my absolute favorite because nothing sticks to it! I got it as a gift and have since give it to a gift for both my mom and mother-in-law.
Bake it for 13 to 15 minutes until the lemon squares are slightly golden on top. Here is what mine looked like fresh from the oven:
Once it has cooled for 10 minutes or so, sprinkle with some powdered sugar.
All that’s left is to cut, serve and enjoy delicious lemon squares!
In a bowl, mix together cake mix, eggs and oil. Mixture will be stiff.
Spread the mixture evenly into a greased 9×13-inch pan.
Bake 13-15 minutes until slightly golden on top.
Cool for 10 minutes then sprinkle powdered sugar over the top.
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Studies abound about the benefits kids glean from having predictable routines at various ages. For example, a 2016 study from The Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology found that people who had predictable routines in childhood were more likely to have better time management skills and attention spans in adulthood.
The studies continue on and on from researchers who specialize in such things. I can just tell you that as a mom, I’ve found routines to be invaluable to our family’s happiness. My kids thrive when they know what to expect and how things will go. I think we all end up happier and even getting better rest with maintaining a few routines.
1. Keep it simple.
When it comes to routines, the simpler the better because that makes them easier to maintain. During my daughter’s toddler days as we were really getting settled into a bedtime routine, my husband and I talked about what we wanted to do each night and how to keep it simple. We opted not to include a bath in our nightly routine because giving a bath every single night just wasn’t going to happen.
So we decided on prayer, a book, two songs and then being tucked in. Nine years later that routine is almost exactly the same. We don’t do the songs any longer, but we pray, read and tuck in every single night.
This has varied a bit through the years as the kids have grown. When they had different bedtimes and were farther apart cognitively, we did things differently. They each had their own version of this bedtime routine.
Since moving into our new house, we have shifted so that both kids do their bedtime hygiene routines and then head to a bedroom where they both pray, we read a book out loud (usually a chapter of a book these days) and we exchange hugs and kisses all around.
2. Be purposeful.
Don’t create a routine just for the sake of creating one. Our bedtime routine, for example, helps our kids wind down each evening because they know what’s coming and it’s how they’ve always gone to bed.
Other routines are more out of necessity. Like school mornings mean I wake up the kids and they go to the bathroom, get dressed and style their hair before coming to breakfast. The night before, I lay out clothes for them (complete with undies and socks) so there is no scrambling around in the morning trying to decide what to wear.
Everything has a purpose. They get dressed first because they can take their breakfast in the car if they have to but they can’t change clothes in the car on the way to school. It also gives me time to make their breakfast while they are doing their tasks. And every morning they know what to expect so our mornings are pretty calm.
3. Be consistent.
This sounds obvious, but in order for a routine to work and stick, you have to be consistent. While research can’t completely agree on how long it takes to form a habit (anywhere from 7 to 66 days!), it does take time. And that means you have to be consistent even when you don’t feel like it.
Our bedtime routine, for example, took us working at it every single night to make it happen. I won’t even pretend that it always runs smoothly even now, because kids are kids and get distracted. Just the other night I had to tell my son to stop foot attacking his sister and brush his teeth because the kiddos were goofing off a bit.
BUT, they were still sticking with routine. He had his toothbrush in his hand as did she. That also means that when I don’t feel like following through with what my kids expect then I need to.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule. Life happens. People get sick. Schedules get changed. But be consistent as possible and routines will get ingrained, stick around and be effective.
4. Communicate.
I’m not sure I can think of a family topic that doesn’t include communication. Communication is so incredibly important. It is important when setting and sticking to routines as well.
For example, my husband and I have discussed what some of our routines will be. We’ve discussed what will work for bedtime or getting ready in the mornings. We’ve made plans of action together so that we are on the same page.
When the routine changes up, like our one night of the week that the kids have gymnastics and ninja class, we make sure to remind the kids of it. We tell them how and why things will be different and what to expect. So even if our routine switches up they know what to expect and handle it much better as a result.
5. Change what doesn’t work.
Sometimes you start a routine and even if you’ve been purposeful, communicated about it and stuck with it, it just isn’t working. Don’t stick with it just to stick with it. Adjust it to make it work.
We recently changed up a bit of our bedtime routine to move from our room to our son’s room to see if it will help him settle into bed a bit easier. (The verdict still isn’t in on that one, but we will continue to tweak as needed.) Life changes, kids and their needs change, so sometimes routines need to change and adjust as well.
Once I started with thinking of the advice I’d give to a couple of friends who got married last year if they asked me, I kept coming up with ideas. It’s grown into two blog posts with all the unsolicited advice I have to offer from my 19-1/2 years of wedded bliss. I shared my first 10 on Friday, and I’ve got eight more for you today!
11. Don’t stop dating. Once you’re married, it’s easy to become complacent, but never stop dating, wooing and romancing your spouse. Of course these things will change a bit once you’re married. And they’ll change when you have children. But, don’t forget the things you loved doing together before you were married. Go see a movie, go to dinner, go for a walk, play a game, color in a coloring book — just do something together that you enjoy. You can get creative when money is tight. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. A date on the couch with a movie and microwave popcorn can work. Going out for a bagel instead of a full dinner when funds are tight can work. Just do something to date each other and reconnect.
12. Fight well. You are going to fight. It happens. But, make your fights productive. Don’t run away from them when things get tough. Don’t resort to name calling. Do try and listen to the other person. Do stick with it until you’ve come to a resolution you both are OK with. Do be willing to compromise sometimes. Do know that there are times you might need to take a break to cool down, but always come back to the topic. Don’t let issues go unresolved. Even the smallest issue will fester and cause problems if you let it go without resolution. Don’t press each other’s buttons. You know your spouse so well. You know what will hurt him or her deeper than anyone else. Never breech that trust and use it against them during a fight. Remember even in anger that words spoken can never truly be erased. No amount of apologizing and forgiveness can remove those words and the feelings they evoked. Just don’t go there.
13. Don’t try to change one another. Some things you know about your spouse before you’re married, and you think they’re cute. Then you’re married, and you find they lost some cuteness. Other things you maybe didn’t know until after you were married and you don’t find those things cute at all. Work through them. You can talk about them with your spouse, but the only person you can really change is yourself. Many times that means getting on your knees and asking for God to change you. And that’s OK. Remember my gaming example from last time? When we were first married, I sometimes wanted my husband to play games less often. It didn’t work. I just made myself miserable. This was a part of him I knew about before I said “I do.” Once I changed my attitude, then it all worked out. And now it’s a hobby we enjoy together. It’s also a hobby he still enjoys on his own sometimes, and I embrace having the time to myself to do things I enjoy alone like reading. Does it help that he makes our family a priority over his games? Most definitely. If not, we’d have a problem. We’ve learned how to work it for the good of both of us.
14. At the same time, be aware that you both will change, just make sure you change together. My husband and I got married young. I was 20; he was 22. We’ve gone through many life transitions together. We started as college students. Then we evolved into young professionals. Then we morphed into parents of babies. Now we are settled into parenthood of school-aged children. I’m not the same Stacey I was when we got married. My husband, Chris, is not the same Chris he was when we got married. We’ve both grown and changed as we’ve lived life. But we’ve grown together. Each stage of our life has brought its own challenges. In the early days, we’d struggle to connect in the midst of going to classes, studying and working. Then we struggled to connect when I dealt with some health issues. Recently we’ve struggled to connect while being in the fray of having young children. But, we’ve figured out — sometimes through trial and error — how to adjust to each phase as it’s come and how to stay connected when life changes and when we change. Some changes are pretty easily resolved, like how we’ve learned to ask each other if the timing is good before starting a serious discussion. Other changes are more challenging, like figuring out how to stay connected to my husband when we are exhausted at the end of the day after dealing with work, kids and responsibilities. We’re always learning and always growing. The key is to make sure that you’re learning and growing together and never ever forgetting your spouse or taking him or her for granted.
15. Respect each other’s privacy. Trust is a huge part of a relationship. If you work hard to be a team, to communicate well and to fight well, trust remains. Act in a way that your spouse has nothing to worry about in trusting you. Be honest. Be up front. Expect the same from your spouse. Give space sometimes. Respect and trust go a long way in a relationship. I have nothing to hide from my husband, but I still appreciate that he asks me before getting in my purse to get something. I give him the same courtesy and don’t go rifling through his wallet or cell phone unless I ask. Neither of us have secrets, but we are still human beings. We do still have belongings that are ours alone, and it’s important to respect that even within a marriage. If I went through his text messages or e-mails, all I’d do is communicate to him that I don’t trust him. And I do trust him — completely. Plus, who has time for that? If your relationship is at the point where you feel like you have to do those things in order to trust someone, then you’re not actually trusting them at all and need to work through the underlying issues.
16. Enjoy one another in every way. I’m not going to go into details of the physical aspect of a marriage, but enjoy that, too. Never use that against one another. Just enjoy your relationship. Enjoy your physical bond, your emotional bond, your spiritual bond and your friendship bond. Marriage is meant for the long haul. Enjoy it!
17. Keep a sense of humor. Laughter can diffuse any situation. When I was in college, one of my professor’s had a theory that if he was going to laugh at something later then he might as well laugh about it now. That’s not always an easy thing to do, but it can be helpful. We put this to the test on our second day of marriage when we ran out of gas right as we rolled into the visitor’s center in Gatlinburg, Tenn., where we were going to spend our honeymoon. We’d both been so distracted and excited about being married and getting to go somewhere together out of town that we completely forgot to fill up the gas tank. It gave us a bit of a chuckle then and still makes me smile to remember those kids we were. Never take yourselves too seriously.
18. Don’t listen to others. Yeah, I’m ending with this one, because it seems contradictory since I’ve been dispensing advice and now I’m telling you not to listen to others. What I mean, though, is don’t listen to others’ opinions about your relationship or marriage when it comes to little things. If multiple people you love and trust who know you and your spouse are sending up red flags, pay attention. But at the end of the day in most situations, it doesn’t matter what anyone else’s opinion is on how you’re doing things other than your spouse. If you’ve talked through your issues, if you’ve come up with your own game plans and if you’ve figured out what works best for the two of you, then so be it. Everyone else can butt out. It really isn’t their business. Do whatever it takes to protect your marriage. Go to counseling if you need help working through problems. Don’t allow others to plants seeds of doubt that don’t need to be planted. Cut off conversations if you need to. Cut off friendships if you absolutely have to. You know in your gut what is best for your relationship. Follow that instinct together with your spouse.
Marriage is an awesome journey. I can’t imagine my life differently. I love being a missus and wouldn’t change it for one second. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy one another. Enjoy the journey together!
In 2018, two of my good friends got married. Each time we go to a wedding or know someone getting married, I think of things I’d say to them if they asked me. I try not to just spout off unwanted advice, which is why I’m blogging about it instead! I don’t have a perfect marriage, because those don’t exist, but my husband and I have learned a few things along the way in our 19-1/2 years of being married. Today I’m sharing 10 of them. Once I got started, I had trouble stopping, so I’m breaking this up into two blog posts. Check back Monday for more!
1. Forgiveness. Learn it. Live it. Embrace it. Remember that the person you’re sharing your life with is human. He or she is going to mess up along the way. You have to learn to forgive easily and often. Never hold grudges. It’s not worth it. Love can prevail, if you let it. And, remember, your spouse is going to have to do a lot of forgiving of you. Sometimes I can feel all high and mighty that I don’t get mad at my husband for certain things he does. Then I think about how the crazy things I do and how he reacts so well, and I knock myself right off my pedestal.
2. Communication is sooooo important. I love superheroes these days. Some of them have the power to read minds. But, your spouse isn’t one of them. He or she has no idea what you’re thinking unless you tell them. Communicate often about everything from money to dinner to work to chores. Share what you’re thinking. Share what you’re expecting. See if it lines up with what your spouse is thinking and expecting. If it doesn’t, then communicate some more until you figure it out. Sometimes the best thing you can do is sit down together over a meal, focus on one another with no distractions and talk. My husband and I started our relationship with long phone calls. I wasn’t old enough to go on dates with him. Now, 25 years later, I feel like we still need to have those times that we just talk. If you find yourselves missing chances to connect, make them happen. Planning is OK.
3. Never compare workloads. This was especially an issue for me after the birth of our first daughter like I recently shared in “How to keep your relationship strong with a newborn.” We were 10 years into being married when it really cropped up, but I had to deal with it. Sometimes you’re going to do more than your spouse. And sometimes your spouse is going to do more. One of you may have to work longer hours at work. One of you may have to pick up slack at home. One of you may do all the cooking. But as long as both of you are contributing, let it go.
4. Going along with number three, appreciate one another. Say thank you often and mean it. My husband takes out the trash for us. I thank him almost every time he does. Sure it’s sort of his “job” around here, but it keeps me from having to do it. And I know that my husband doesn’t enjoy this task; he just does it because it has to be done. He thanks me for making dinner. Everyone wants to be appreciated for what they do, no matter how small. Saying a sincere thanks goes a long way.
5. Learn to enjoy or at least respect things your spouse enjoys. My husband has been a gamer since before I knew him. He loves role playing games, tabletop games and video games. He can spend hours playing games. I learned early on to let it go and let him enjoy his gaming time (as long as we still got plenty of couple time and everything else that needed done was getting done). We had our fair share of discussions of what this would look like. We set some parameters like designating one evening a week for him to get together and game with his friends. I realized that gave me one evening to do whatever I wanted to do. Along the way, I started asking questions about what he was doing. If it was important to him, then I wanted to hear about it. I slowly developed an interest in gaming, too. Now it’s a hobby we often enjoy together. And I sincerely wish we had the time and gamer buddies around to get back to the gaming once a week like he did in college. I’ve evolved. Our relationship has evolved and it’s better because of it.
6. Don’t forget who YOU are. While it’s important to do things together as a couple, you still need to remember that you’re individuals. In my dad’s speech to us on our wedding day he said, “Remember that you are Chris. And you are Stacey. And together you are Chris and Stacey.” It sounds a bit abstract, but I think what he meant was that we are a couple together. We do things together. We must spend time together to grow our relationship, but we can’t forget the individuals we are and the things we enjoy doing on our own. We can’t lose ourselves. After all, if I lost myself then I’d no longer be the person my husband fell in love with.
7. Talk about how you’re going to navigate extended family affairs before conflict arises. Each of you have your own family traditions. Each of you have your own expectations of how things are going to go. For example, my family used to get together to celebrate everything all the time. Come the month of June with a ridiculous amount of birthdays and you’d find us eating out and celebrating each and every one. That’s mellowed out as we’ve gotten older, but in the early days, I fully expected my husband would participate in every single family gathering and celebration. If he had a long day at work, too bad. If he had just been with my family the night before for something else, too bad. And that time didn’t count as our time of doing stuff together. Anyone else picking up on the unfairness here? I learned through the years to listen to my husband. I learned to communicate back to him what was important to me. Maybe he needed some downtime for one family activity but I really wanted him to participate in another one instead. We’d do that. I’ve learned that’s OK. We don’t even have to be tied at the hip for family activities. Let’s not even get started on holidays. Seriously, start figuring out your game plan for your first married Thanksgiving and Christmas by September at the latest. It’s tricky. Also know you probably can’t make everyone happy. Do what works best for you, but don’t forget to communicate that to your families and offer alternative days to celebrate if necessary.
8. Don’t put your business in the street. What I mean is if you’re having a problem with your spouse, talk to him or her about it. Don’t talk to your friends about it. Don’t talk to your parents about it. And definitely never post about it on social media. Keep your personal business personal. Your friends and family will remember all the negative things you said long after you and your spouse have let something go. Your relationship doesn’t involve anyone else besides your spouse and God. The only business you can share is positive affirmations. Go ahead and brag about your spouse to others sometimes. You get bonus points for bragging on them when they’re around. My husband and I aren’t a mushy, gushy couple, but I do like when chances arise that I can point out his good qualities or things I appreciate about him, which leads to number nine.
9. Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. The world can be a cruel and harsh place filled with lots of naysayers and people who are thrilled to knock you down a notch. Your spouse is the person who should build you up the most. Take time to listen, support and encourage one another. Celebrate good news together. The first person I want to call or talk to when I have good news is my husband. I know he’ll be happy with and for me. Sharing good news with your spouse should just make the good news feel even better.
10. Be a team. Once you are married, you are a team. You are a united front. You will find lots of distractions ready to tear down your team. You will find people who will try to get you to talk negatively about your spouse and complain about your marriage. Don’t fall into those traps. Avoid them like the plague. Remember always that no matter what you’re facing, you’re facing it together as a team. You have to be a team to get through hard times. I remember very clearly the day my husband lost his job 12 years ago. I remember sitting together on the floor of my home office and just sort of holding each other up. We faced that challenge and so many others before and since then as a team. Don’t place blame when there is none to be placed. Support one another and move through life as a unified front. My husband and I have sincerely said to each other, “I’d rather go through hard times with you than good times without you.” Being a team — being together — makes any hard time so much easier to bear. And when times are good again, your relationship will be stronger for having survived the hardship.
Check back on Monday for part two! You won’t want to miss it.
Today is World Introvert Day! Usually at least one or two of my friends will share this information with me each January 2, because it’s no secret that I’m an introvert. I’d guess most of us introverts are excited to celebrate today individually in our own homes. (Ha!)
While information about introverts abounds way more these days than ever before (seriously, as a kid and teenager I had no clue why I behaved the way I did and why many others didn’t understand me), people still get confused about introversion. We still get mistaken as being people who are shy and quiet. And sometimes we are. Most times, we just come across that way to other people (usually extroverts). We are really just people who re-energize with time alone and quiet rather than with other people and talking. We can get worn out, irritable and moody when we are with people too long.
But what does introversion look like? I can’t speak for every introvert, but I can speak for myself. One of my best examples of introversion happened the past two summers. An amusement park a couple of hours away offers a package for families of four to camp in their park overnight. Campers arrive just before closing, have some time to do things after hours, sleep in their own tents and are served breakfast before the park opens. We did this in both 2017 and 2018 and had fun.
Amusement parks are noisy and crowded. They’re an environment in which I can get easily overwhelmed and overloaded. In fact, at events like these I usually end up exhausted with a headache after a few hours. Both years, I felt a bit stressed as we arrived, lugged all of our stuff to the area where we could camp (right in the center of the amusement park!) and kept track of the kiddos. After we decide where we’re pitching our tent, we get it set up and I head into it to get the beds all made up and ready. Both times going into the tent gave me a strong sense of relief, and my stress began to dissipate.
And that’s because inside the tent, I can still hear all of the noise outside. I can still hear people talking as they walk by and other campers setting up their camp sites, but I am out of sight of them, and they are out of sight from me. I get to be in my own little bubble of sorts with my family, and it’s wonderful. I immediately relax.
That’s introversion. We don’t want to shy away from experiences or other people. Introverts don’t want to always be quiet and aren’t anti-social, but we do relax best and become our true selves when we are in our own space. We replenish our energy by being alone. If I could take a tent with me to every large event or gathering, I would. (But I’m not trying to be a freak, I promise!) I wouldn’t stay in it the whole time; I don’t at the amusement park either. But I would go in when I just needed a few moments alone to decompress.
I can’t take a tent in places, but I have found other
escapes. When we go to a gaming convention in a nearby city each year and are
exploring the exhibit hall packed with booths, vendors and other gamers, I get
on overload. I have learned to avoid a headache and utter exhaustion, my best
bet is to take about 20 minutes here and there to sit out. My husband will keep
going through the booths and I’ll go sit on the side of the convention hall
(most often on the floor) and just close my eyes. I don’t usually fall all the
way asleep (though I totally did the year we went and I was eight months
pregnant). I just have my eyes closed and am able to be in my own head space
for just a while. I can still hear the noise, but it gives me a chance to
regroup and go inside of myself rather than be totally involved with all that
is going on around me.
Other times I can’t sit on the sidelines with my eyes
closed without seeming like a crazy, anti-social person, so I find other ways
to regroup. Sometimes it just means going to the bathroom and staying in there
an extra two minutes alone. (This is where having bladder problems comes in
handy, because I really do have to go to the bathroom a lot!)
And this is life as an introvert. It’s not bad. It isn’t
weird. It’s just how I’m wired, and it’s not all that different or unique.
There are quite a few of us around. We tend to understand extroverts perhaps a
bit more than they understand us, but that also may be because we tend to be
quieter and listen more. It could also be because our world and culture are
geared very strongly toward extroverts as the norm.
So when your introvert friends say that they just need a few minutes away or when they head to the bathroom at a party and don’t return for five minutes, just leave them be and know they are going into their own tent, their own bubble to regroup. They don’t want to be away from you or not be part of the group. They just need a minute of downtime to process information and relax. It’s not shy or weird. It’s OK. That’s just how they’re wired.
These toffee cookies are the perfect mix of chewy and crunchy!
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A good 15 years ago, I first came across a recipe for toffee cookies. I tried making them. They were sticky and chewy, yet crunchy. While I felt like they were pretty good, a few of my family members fell in love. I’ve tweaked the original recipe a bit to make them even better.
Each Christmas these toffee cookies are on my baking list. They aren’t optional. In fact, I think if I showed up to my mother-in-law’s house on Christmas Day without them, I’d not be allowed in! (OK. I would totally be allowed in because my in-laws are really nice people, but they would definitely ask where the toffee cookies are!)
In all of my years of cookie making, these really are the most unique I’ve made. I don’t make another cookie at all like them. I have so many recipes that have different flavors, yet are similar or expected. These toffee cookies are unique, and they are a addictive. Listen, I don’t usually think desserts are worth eating if they don’t have chocolate in them, and even I can happily munch away on them. The good news is that they are not difficult to make!
It all starts with mixing the flour, baking soda and salt together in a bowl then setting it aside. In your main mixing bowl (or the bowl of your stand mixer, if you’re going to use it), mix up the butter or margarine with the sugars and vanilla. I’m going to stop right here and tell you the state of the butter or margarine is crucial in this recipe. If it is softened, the cookies won’t be as chewy. But, if it is slightly melted, then they are the perfect consistency — chewy, yet crunchy. I heat my stick margarine for 1 minute at 30 percent power in my microwave to get it to this state:
After you mix together the butter or margarine, sugars and vanilla, add in the eggs. When it’s beaten together, the mixture will be thin and runny.
Gradually stir in the mix of flour, baking soda and salt. If you’re using your stand mixer like I do, make sure you mix it in slowly or else you’ll end up with flour all over everything, which is just plain annoying! Once it’s all mixed up, it will be thickened.
The final step is to stir in the toffee chips. I use 12 ounces, which is a bag and a half of Heath Bits O’ Brickle toffee bits. I totally estimate the half bag, but you could definitely measure it out. Also, be sure to look for the plain toffee bits and not the milk chocolate covered ones. The milk chocolate ones are good, but this recipe does best with the plain toffee bits.
All that’s left to do is freeze it or bake it. I store it in zip-top bags for freezing and lay them flat. This dough freezes and thaws well. For baking these sticky treats, though, be sure to either spray your cookie sheets with non-stick cooking spray or use parchment paper. I discovered the joy of parchment paper a few years ago, as I told you last week in my tips for Christmas crunch time, and I highly suggest it for these cookies, especially.
After baking at 350-degrees for 9 to 11 minutes, let the cookies cool for 1 to 2 minutes on the cookie sheet and then remove them to wire racks to finish cooling. The wire rack helps add the extra crunch to the cookie. You can just see the shine of the gooey, sticky toffee on the cookies as they’re cooling.
Arrange them on a cookie platter or put them in a zip-top bag and enjoy! The best thing about these cookies is that they are hearty. Of all the cookies I make, these have the longest shelf life and really do taste good for at least a week as long as they are stored covered.
Use these tips to save time so you can do more of what you enjoy this holiday season!
Christmas may be “the most wonderful time of the year,” as the song goes. But it is also and often “the most busy time of the year!” Along the way, I’ve found a few simple Christmas hacks that make my life easier. And I’m all about easier!
These Christmas hacks help me stay sane during holiday crunch time. I figured I’d pass them along in case they help anyone else. And if you have anything you do, please share! We are in this together!
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1. Use parchment paper
Christmas cookies are my jam. I enjoy making them. One of my family’s favorite cookie recipes is toffee crunch cookies. They are good but a bit sticky.
Parchment paper makes baking them so, so, so much easier. I use it for all cookies because it also makes clean-up way easier.
Even if you only use it for holiday baking, parchment paper is one of my favorite Christmas hacks. I mean, who couldn’t use easier clean-up right now?!
I didn’t discover the joys of parchment paper until a few years ago. I was only sad I didn’t discover it sooner!
2. Use small appliances to help
Cookie dough doesn’t have to be mixed in a stand mixer, but my life is a whole lot easier with my stand mixer. Not only can I do other things while ingredients are mixing (like tossing out eggshells or closing up brown sugar), but it also saves my arms.
Honestly, that’s the biggest benefit. With fibromyalgia, I’m all for anything I can do to help save my hands, arms and shoulders.
I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears mentioning again. I love shopping online! I save money, and I can find good deals to cover all my Christmas gift needs (check out 15 gifts under $20 for everyone on your Christmas list — most of them are Amazon Prime eligible so you still have time!).
I also utilize online shopping for everyday items from makeup to paper products to nonperishable foods. It’s one of those Christmas hacks I love because it saves me time at the grocery store and helps me avoid crowds, which is pretty priceless!
4. Keep wrapping supplies handy
This is my wrapping “corner” right now.
This one happened on accident this year, but it’s worked so well for me. This is our first year living with two stories since our very first townhouse college apartment when we got married 19 years ago.
I keep my wrapping supplies in the closet of our guest bedroom/game room upstairs. I do my wrapping at my kitchen table.
(We have a counter height table this year, and I’m loving how easy it is to wrap on that thing without killing my back!)
I brought down some wrapping paper and supplies for a gift wrapping session and they’ve remained downstairs ever since. I put most of them in a box.
Some gifts yet to be wrapped are hidden in there as well. Others are elsewhere. This has become one of the unexpected Christmas hacks I’ve discovered to make my life easier.
Yesterday, for example, I picked up a gift for my husband, came home and had it wrapped and under the tree within a couple of minutes.
Does it look super great between my living room and dining room? Maybe not. Do I care? Nope, because it really is making my life easier!
5. Wear an apron
This sounds a little crazy, maybe, but wearing an apron when I’m baking makes my life easier. A long time ago, I’d just wear old clothes for baking then have to change if I left the house.
These days, I have to leave the house more regularly because the kids need to be picked up from school and such. I’ve learned that my grandma’s generation was really onto something with aprons.
I have my favorite apron hanging in my pantry at all times ready to save my clothes from flour and powdered sugar messes. It’s another one of those simple things that makes a difference for me.
6. Set reminders
If you were to look at the calendar on my phone, you’d find all sorts of “appointments.” I set them for so many things beyond just appointments and meetings.
Last night, for example, I had just snuggled under the covers to go to sleep when I remembered that I hadn’t put a spoon in my daughter’s lunchbox and was planning to send her soup.
I sat up, grabbed my phone and set a reminder for 7 a.m. to put a spoon in her lunchbox.
The best part of setting reminders for such mundane things is that it lets me let them go. I don’t have to hang onto that thought and try to remember it or stress about it. I know my phone will ding with a reminder.
I have appointment reminders set for things like my son’s PJ day for his school winter party next Friday or my making sure to put cookies in my daughter’s backpack for hers. While this is my go-to organizational tool year round, I consider it one of my Christmas hacks because it helps me so much this time of year when life gets even more hectic.
7. Ask for help
My husband is really good to do things around here. But he isn’t a mind reader. I can’t expect him to always know when I need him to jump in, so I ask.
Last night, for example, I was cleaning up from making cookie dough and asked him to get supper started. Later we divvied up tasks between kitchen clean-up from dinner and laundry duty.
This coming week, we will work together to finish wrapping gifts.
When our kids were younger and home all day, we had times we’d ask our parents to watch them for a few hours so we could wrap gifts or I could bake without having to try and keep a toddler away from the oven door every time I opened it. It takes a village sometimes to make holiday magic happen!
What Christmas hacks do you use to make your holiday season a little less hectic?
Looking for more Christmas ideas? Check out these posts!
For two nights in a row now, I’ve ended up sleeping on the couch half the night with my son who has been sick. The first night didn’t involve much sleeping because he was up sick every 20 or 30 minutes. Last night, he was no longer getting sick, but I couldn’t find a comfortable position and fall asleep until about 30 minutes before my alarm went off.
As I reclined last night, tossing and turning in my head (my body couldn’t move much because there was a little boy snuggled against it), I couldn’t help but think back to the same little guy’s first three months of life.
Remembering the past
For his first three months we spent every night on the couch. I had the recliner on my end to lean back in, but we were up most of the night. He had reflux and wasn’t a fan of sleeping. He’d nurse off and on. He’d cry. Then he’d eventually fall asleep on his Boppy beside me about two hours before his preschool-aged sister would wake up for the day.
They were long months. I remember once lying on the living room floor just to remember what it felt like to lie down. It sounds dramatic, but it was legitimate.
We’ve come a long way in almost six years. Those newborn days with my son were rough. Newborn days are exhausting in general. Some are more exhausting than others. My daughter, for example, settled into a routine after a couple of weeks and would at least let me sleep three hours or so at a time.
Parenthood totally pushes you to your limits. It starts right off the bat in the newborn days and continues through each phase. Sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s incredibly difficult. We very much need encouragement for hard times.
That year with my newborn son, I ended up with shingles as a result of the strain. I also had numerous other sicknesses and major surgery when he was 8 months old. It was a difficult year, to say the least.
Applying it to life
The older I get, the more I realize life is like that. We encounter one event after another and wonder how we are ever going to survive it and have the strength to keep going. We think this will do us in.
I remember during those three months with my son that some nights, we would both just sit and cry together. He couldn’t be soothed, and I was beyond weary. I wasn’t sure I could keep going night after night, but I did because I had to. I had a little baby depending on me for his survival. And I made it.
There have been many other situations I’ve faced that are just as wearisome, if not more so. Each time I’m left wondering if I’ll make it through. Each time, I do. I don’t, however, make it through on my own.
I’m not so strong by myself. Most of my closest encounters with God have come at times when I was at the very end of myself and unsure I could keep moving one foot in front of the other.
Because just like I didn’t abandon my son when he was a newborn who needed me or a sick 5-year-old who needed me, so has God never abandoned me. He’s been right there through the thick of it all, carrying me, loving me and giving me strength. Day by day and sometimes minute by minute.
He will do the same for you. In fact, He longs to. Just like when my kids are sick and I long to be with them and help them, so He longs to be with and help us when we are struggling. We just have to ask Him. If my kids hid away quietly in their rooms suffering, I’d not know they needed me. But they trust me to take are of them. They trust that when they call out for me in need, I will answer.
How much more we can trust God to do the same! He never gets weary or complains to himself about the hard work. God just shows up, loves us and takes care of us. He will provide us the encouragement for hard times that we need. All we have to do is call out and He’ll come running to wrap His arms around us. He is so, so good!
I’ve heard of pregnancy brain and how sometimes your brain fails while you’re pregnant. And it’s true. It happened to me a couple of times. I’ve also heard of mommy brain and how sometimes your brain fails while you have babies and are sleep-deprived (and on into, well, forever!). But, there’s also what I call mom brain overload.
I have no idea if MBO has a real psychological term, but I know it most definitely exists and I’m guessing you’ve experienced it, too. I’m talking about all the stuff that moms keep in their heads and have to constantly be aware of. We can’t turn off our brains. We can’t lessen our overload. On top of all the other things we manage and deal with on a daily basis, like working, feeding our children, getting them to school on time or changing diapers, it’s the other thoughts that overload. It’s the constant processing of knowing when the kids had checkups and when they need them again. It’s remembering to call the school and report them sick. It’s knowing how many pairs of clean jeans are in your son’s drawer so you know when laundry HAS to be done again. It’s remembering to get out water bottles for gymnastics class or track down mittens on a cold morning. It’s remembering where you last saw their shoes on a hectic school morning. And let’s not even get started on clothes. Keeping track of who has outgrown what and needs replaced, cleaning out things that are too small, organizing what is there and keeping it all clean when needed is a constant struggle It. Is. All. Non-stop!
I’ve tried to explain this to my husband before. This MBO that is, quite frankly, exhausting. But, he doesn’t really understand it, and he is a hands-on dad. I can’t just turn it off. Right now I can tell you the level of trash in each trash can in our house, how much fresh fruit is in the kitchen, how much milk we have, what doctor’s appointments are coming up for the kids, how many more showers/baths we can take before I have to wash towels, how much children’s Tylenol we have in its two locations, which kid has school library day when, where we stand on lunchbox cleaning and prep, who has clothes for upcoming holiday performances, what spelling words need to be reviewed, what calls need to be made for appointments, who needs gifts for upcoming birthday parties or holidays and on the list goes. My husband and children don’t know these things. I don’t necessarily HAVE to know some of these things, but I do. I do, because I’m the one who deals with them.
I’m the one who makes sure we have fresh fruit and milk for the kids, clean towels, the right clothes, gifts bought and wrapped in time and Tylenol at the ready. I’m the one who makes calls or sends emails to schedule meetings and appointments based on the calendar I have for our whole family. I’m the one who reminds us to go over spelling words. I know my husband would do these things I weren’t able. I know the children wouldn’t fall into ill health without fresh fruits or milk for a couple of days. But it’s in my head. And that’s just the kids’ stuff. It doesn’t count all the stuff that I also maintain for myself and my husband as well like prescriptions, doctors’ appointments, bills, work deadlines and more. (That’s even with having automated all the things that I can.)
And then there’s all the other stuff, too. The worries that contribute to MBO like whether my son will pay attention walking on the icy sidewalk or fall and hurt himself or whether my daughter’s strep throat germs are going to spread to everyone else or whether I’m being too easy or too hard on the kids or whether I spend enough quality time with them or whether I let them eat too many sweets or whether I’m making them do enough or too many chores. The list goes on and on. Yes, I deal with anxiety and OCD a bit, but I think most of this is just mom stuff.
Our brains are constantly going and we are constantly thinking of pretty much everyone else. Our lives revolve around everyone else. I have lost track the number of times I’ve gotten interrupted just writing this one post! Along with MBO, we have to constantly multi-task. We have to be able to stop what we’re doing and brush someone’s hair or answer questions and then shift right back to what we’re doing then remember there’s a load of laundry that needs to go into the dryer and (oh, shoot!) it’s almost the end of the day and our to-do list has only gotten a third of the way completed. It’s constant, and it’s exhausting.
I wish I had some awesome advice on how to make it better and how to cope with it, but I don’t really. I’m in the midst of it. I have to think it will get better once I’m no longer responsible for so much for my children. One day they will be able to deal with their own clothes, food and laundry — both shopping and caring for them. But, I know there’s another part of my mom brain that will never turn off as long as I am breathing because you can’t just stop being someone’s mom when they turn into an adult. I know this from my own mom and mother-in-law!
I do think, though, that we need to acknowledge it. We need to realize the MBO is a thing; it’s hard and it’s contributing to our exhaustion level. We need to find ways to unplug when we get a chance whether it’s sneaking off to a movie alone, with your husband or with friends or taking one night each week after the kids go to bed and doing nothing else except reading or watching television or somehow relaxing. It’s being good to ourselves when we get a chance. It’s intentionally thinking of ourselves and what we need sometimes.
The thing with MBO is that if it’s left unchecked too long, it can lead to burn-out, anger and resentment. It can lead us to saying things we don’t mean and hurting those we love most. It can steal our joy. It can distract us from our spiritual walk. MBO is going to exist. We can’t stop our mom brains from being overloaded with so much information all the time, but we can do our best to be intentional about taking breaks, even for a short time. I’ve had moments where I say to my husband, “I don’t care what you decide, but dinner is up to you. I cannot manage another decision right now.” I’ve had other moments when I’ve left him in charge and escaped behind a closed bedroom door for an hour (especially when our kiddos were smaller).
Mom brain overload is just as real as pregnancy brain and mommy brain. While we may laugh and joke about it or complain about it with our mom friends, we need to also remember to take care of ourselves whenever we get a chance. Take a break soon, mama. I know you need it!
My husband and I don’t have a perfect marriage. Nobody does! However, we have learned some lessons through our 19 years of marriage that have helped strengthen our marriage along the way. And they don’t have much to do with the dramatic romantic gestures we love watching on the silver screen. Those things are nice, but just aren’t realistic in daily life. The things that really strengthen your marriage are much smaller, yet just as significant.
Treat your spouse like a stranger.
While it’s easy to snap at those we love when we are having a bad day, it’s neither fair nor productive to them. I try to remember when I’m having a bad day that my husband isn’t the cause of it (usually!). I wouldn’t be rude to a stranger for no apparent reason. I shouldn’t be to my husband either.
Say thank you.
I once read a magazine article about a celebrity who said she had a hard time thanking her husband for taking out the trash since it needed to be done. I don’t think you can say thank you enough, honestly. Our theory is that if the other one has done a chore, that’s one less thing we need to do and we appreciate it. I don’t say thank you every time he takes out the trash. He doesn’t say thank you every time I do a load of laundry. But, we do make it a priority to say thanks a few times a week for everyday chores. We all want to be appreciated. Appreciation also can help strengthen your marriage by reminding you why you fell in love in the first place.
Give each other privacy.
I don’t have anything to hide from my husband. He doesn’t have anything to hide from me. However, if he needs to get something out of my purse or I need to get something out of his wallet, we ask first. I appreciate that he asks before barging in. While we are married and we two have become one, we are also still individuals as well.
Talk to each other about problems.
We’re pretty private folks, so this comes naturally to us, but we don’t air dirty laundry, so to speak. We agreed early on that if one of us has a problem with the other, we talk directly to them. So, if I have a problem with my husband, I talk to him about it — not my mom or my friends. He does likewise. We can’t fix problems and make them better if we don’t talk about and work on them. To strengthen your marriage, you have to resolve problems.
Nobody is a mind reader.
My husband knows me better than anyone on this planet, but he can’t read my mind. We have to communicate effectively with one another. Sometimes that means being very specific about what we need without getting upset the other one didn’t know it first. That includes everything from romantic gestures to household chores. I’ve found it’s much more productive to tell him this stuff rather than be upset when he doesn’t do it.
Don’t take everything personally.
I can be a tad sensitive. OK, I can be a lot sensitive. I take things very personally sometimes and take them to heart when I shouldn’t, like when someone gets mad at me in traffic. While I’ve made improvements through the years sometimes I still struggle with this. When my husband and I are discussing an issue that revolves primarily around something I feel responsible for, my first response can tend to be defensive.
However, most of the time, I don’t need to take it so personally. I need to get over that so we can move on to the real goal: fixing whatever issue is happening. And that also means I work to not read into things. For example, my husband doesn’t always notice things that need to be done around home, like emptying the bathroom trash. Instead of feeling personally offended that he’s trying to spite me by not doing it, I just ask him for help. To his credit, he obliges — usually saying that he didn’t notice the issue.
Know when to talk and when to wait.
While communication is important in all relationships, not all communication is created equal. Knowing your spouse and when best to talk with them about a serious issue strengthens your marriage. For example, my husband knows just before bed isn’t a time to start a serious discussion with me. I’m a morning person and by the end of the day my energy and mental capacity are not up to par. Any discussions had at that time of day don’t go well. I know the same is true for him in the morning.
And we both know when the other one is in the middle of something, whether it’s work or something fun, to ask for a chance to talk before just launching into a conversation. Usually whoever is busy can say something like, “Give me five minutes.” Then when they’re at a stopping point, they stop and give the other their attention. Conversations go much better that way.
Don’t micromanage.
We started the policy when we got married, that if one of us is doing a task, he/she can do it his/her own way. If the other person has a problem, he/she should just do it. So, if my husband is cleaning the bathroom, he gets to do it his way. If I have a problem, then I should do it myself. If I’m doing laundry and my husband has a problem with it, then he should do it himself. The nice thing about that policy is that it feeds into our lazy streaks a bit. Before I criticize or micromanage, I realize that I don’t feel like doing said task myself. I shut my mouth!
Be each other’s biggest fan.
My husband and I have each other’s backs 100 percent. While we are helpful to one another and discuss work and such, we also support one another wholeheartedly. He encourages me in my career. I encourage him in his. I’m his biggest cheerleader, and he is mine. We also remember this in front of other folks. When we are with others, I need to uplift and support my husband all the more. If I have an issue with something, it can wait until we are alone.
Approach life together — the good, the bad and the ugly.
We refer to ourselves as a team (which nowadays includes our kids, but started as just a team of two). We even high-five each other sometimes. Honestly, I think this is my best marriage tip that will strengthen your marriage most. When you approach life together with a team mentality then you stay working together for the common good of your family. We’ve faced many struggles together. Rather than start placing blame on each other, we stay focused on what we need to do to get through the situation together. We are a team whether we’re working together to get dinner prepared or making major life decisions.
