Stacey A. Shannon is a freelance journalist and blogger who has been published internationally. She's also a Christian, a wife and a mom of two school-aged children. She started Families with Grace in 2019 to encourage Christian moms as they create homes filled with grace, love and faith.
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One simple tweak to a brownie box mix makes all the difference!
About 20 years ago, I discovered a hack to make box mix brownies so good and fudgy that it doesn’t even matter what brand of box mix you buy. My brownies are one of my most requested desserts to bring places. I am almost ashamed at how easy they are to make!
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I start with a brownie box mix and make it up according to the directions on the box. Any size works for this recipe, but I will say if the box says it will fit in a 9×11 pan, go with that size.
If you use a smaller pan, the brownies wouldn’t be as fudgy since they would be thicker. Having a bit thinner brownie gives you more fudginess!
Then follow the directions on the brownie mix to. Stir the batter, and put it in your pan.
I highly recommend the Rachael Ray bakeware. It is nonstick and my absolute favorite bakeware I’ve ever used.
This is where the brownie hack happens. Are you ready for it? Grab your bottle of chocolate syrup out of the fridge — the kind you put on ice cream or use to make chocolate milk — and swirl it over the top of the brownie batter in the pan.
Check out the baking time on the brownie box mix. Set your oven timer for 3-5 minutes prior to the shortest time given. Check your brownies then to see if they are done.
I always test my brownies by sticking a toothpick into the center and seeing if it comes out clean. If so, they’re done. If it is still goopy, bake the brownies a few minutes longer and check again. Feast your eyes on this gorgeous fudgy-ness! (Is that a word? I don’t even care!)
And that’s it. Once the brownies have cooled, they are ready to cut. If you are going to stack them on a plate, give them PLENTY of time to cool. Otherwise, they meld into one giant fudgy uni-brownie. Trust me, I speak from experience!
Look at those lines of fudgy goodness!
Also, check out this pan. Nothing sticks to the Rachael Ray bakeware! I did spray it with a light spritz of non-stick cooking spray, because I’ve used mine so much they need a bit of help, but this Rachael Ray cake pan is my all-time favorite. I LOVE it!
Because these brownies are so fudgy, they don’t need to be frosted. And they are usually best eaten with a fork or spoon!
I promise you people will ask for your brownie recipe. I’ll leave it up to you if you want to share this hack with them!
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A study in March 2015 showed that parents are spending more time with their children now than ever before. In fact, the amount of time we’re spending with our kids keeps increasing. But, if you talk to most parents they don’t feel like they are actually spending enough one-on-one time with their kids. I’d guess that’s because the research is looking at quantity of time more than quality of time.
It’s a struggle that my family faces. Both of our kids are in school now. With a third grader and kindergartener, we are careful of monitoring their after-school activities so we don’t get too busy. Each of them are allowed to pick one extracurricular activity that goes for the entire school year. We recently agreed to let them both participate in a school play knowing that it would increase their activities for a couple of months, especially for our daughter who, as a third grader, has a larger part than her kindergarten brother.
Once you add in things like homework, making dinner, making lunches and cleaning up from everything, our evenings are pretty full even when the kids don’t have any activities. We are together and have family dinner almost every night. We chat around the dinner table, which is something my husband and I set as a priority when we first became parents. But when it comes to actually having one-on-one time with our children, we have to be more intentional.
One-on-one time is so important for our kiddos. I can literally see the difference in my children’s attitudes and mannerisms when they learn that they get one-on-one time. They perk up. It doesn’t take a long time or something complicated to make a difference. It just takes a bit of planning and undivided attention (no cell phone!).
1. Share a meal.
I can almost bond over food with anyone. I love food! But, this is true with my kiddos. I love getting a chance to eat with just one kiddo at a time. We’ve done this both as one-on-one time with each other individually and also as one-on-two time with both my husband and me but only one kiddo.
Right now in being busier, we actually are able to accomplish this one more. One night this week, for example, my daughter had play practice until 6 and had to be at gymnastics at 7. My son had to be at his Ninja Zone class at 6:30. My husband and I divided and conquered. He took my daughter and had dinner at Subway in between activities. I had my son who wanted frozen pizza at home before his class. It was a great opportunity to connect with our kids individually.
Another way I’ve found this works well is going into have lunch with them at school. My kids’ school is open to having parents come in for lunch whenever they’d like to as long as we sign in. My son’s lunch ends right as my daughter’s is beginning. And there are special tables just outside the cafeteria we can sit at, which really does give us a chance to connect one-on-one. I also really enjoy seeing them in their element at school and interacting with their friends. I also keep it simple and usually just have them eat their lunch that I packed for them.
For the one-on-two dates, we have even left one kiddo with a babysitter and gone out. A babysitter for us means grandparents because we are fortunate to have both my parents and my in-laws living within 10 minutes of us. But, even with grandparent time, our kids still make us promise that they’ll each get a turn to go out with us one-on-two. They enjoy having our undivided attention.
2. Take advantage of time in the car.
That scenario above where the kids have classes within a half hour of each other happens every week. My son’s Ninja Zone class is 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. and my daughter’s gymnastics class is 7 to 8 p.m. Both classes are in different buildings about 10 minutes away from each other. So my husband and I split up to take them. We alternate who goes with whom so we have a chance to see each of them do their thing.
I’ve had some great conversations with both of them on the way to and from classes. Sometimes they share more about what’s going on with them at school. Sometimes they tell me something they’ve been worried about. And sometimes, especially with my son, they tell me about all the plans they’re making. (I call my 6-year-old son “my little man with a plan,” because has a plan and explanation for everything, even if he’s taking creative license with it!)
3. Go on dates.
We get to have dates every so often around here with our kiddos. For the past two years, a local community organization hosts a daddy/daughter dance in the fall. My husband takes my daughter and they always have a great time together. My son and I plan our own date during that time. In fact, I wrote about our most recent back in October. We don’t have to do something extravagant. My son really just wanted to go to the playground and out for ice-cream. But we have fun and get to connect in a different way. We get to chat about what’s going on with them and we try to make sure that we are doing something they are interested in and want to do, which is also incredibly important.
4. Take turns playing.
Our kiddos love for my husband and I to play with them. Now that they are both in school and have more going on, we don’t get to play nearly as often as we once did back when they were itty-bitties. But something we started back then has continued until now and is still one of their favorite things: one-on-one play time. We set a timer and spend time with each kid playing whatever they want to play and then switch.
My kids love this so much that it was their only requested activity over winter break when I asked them what they wanted to do during their time off from school. Even just a half hour each is enough and they love it. My husband and I do, too.
5. Go shopping together.
You don’t have to love shopping for this one to work, because I certainly don’t love shopping! I’ve enjoyed numerous shopping trips with one kiddo at a time picking out presents for the other or even just shopping for clothes. There’s something special about being out with just one kiddo at a time for both them and me. A couple of weeks ago, my son and I went to Target to have him try on jeans. It was sort of laborious and shouldn’t have been fun, yet we had a good time together anyway.
An easy twist on taco night your family will love!
I have a couple of particular eaters in my family, but we all agree on Mexican flavors. Taco anything tends to go over well. I first tried this recipe on them a couple of months ago. Since then I’ve made it a few times because we all liked it so much and it’s easy.
While my family would be happy eating tacos a couple of times a week, I like to change things up. This recipe still gives that taco flavor but in a different way. Who can complain about combining tacos and cornbread? We love both around here!
It starts with a basic Jiffy cornbread mix. You know, the one you buy that is less than $1, which is super nice! Mix it together with an egg and 1/3-cup milk into a batter then spread into a greased 8×8 pan. I use a glass baking dish sprayed with non-stick cooking spray.
The prepared batter spread into the baking dish.
Stick that in the oven at 350-degrees for 15 minutes. While that is baking, prepare your meat that will go on top of it. While you could use more meat or add in some black beans, my family isn’t big on meat or beans. I use with 1/2-pound of seasoned ground chuck and find it’s the right amount. That said, we also use about 1/2-pound of seasoned ground chuck for the four of us when we eat tacos. We really aren’t meat-heavy around here.
HOWEVER, that works in my favor. I usually fresh ground chuck when making tacos, which is usually packed in 1-pound packages at my local grocery store. So, I cook the full pound, season it and then freeze the 1/2-pound we don’t eat in a Ziploc bag. When it’s time to make this (or nachos!), I pull it out of the freezer, thaw it (usually in the microwave because it’s easiest for me) and it’s ready to use. I freeze it flat to take up less space.
Whenever I freeze cooked hamburger, I mark it clearly along with the date.
So, for this recipe, preparing the meat for me means thawing it out. While the meat thaws, I mix together sour cream, shredded cheese and onion for the top layer.
The cornbread layer will be finished after 15 minutes as being soft-set. It looks like this:
Once you have the cornbread layer out, spread the meat gently over the top. If you are using more than 1/2-pound, it will cover the cornbread more densely. Below you can see below that 1/2 pound covers it completely.
Top the meat layer with the sour cream/cheese/onion mixture and spread evenly over the top. I usually dollop the mixture out in blobs over the top and spread each just a bit. Minimal spreading for this works best!
Once the sour cream layer is on, it goes back in the oven at 350-degrees for 20-25 minutes until it’s warm and the cheese is melted. It comes out looking like this:
All that’s left is to cut and serve! I usually let it set for about 5 minutes before cutting into it. It doesn’t come out in slices and looks a bit messy but it’s so good! You can easily top the bake with diced tomatoes or lettuce or whatever other taco toppings you like. We don’t do that in our house. We serve it alongside tortilla or corn chips and dip the chips right into it for some added crunch.
It’s so yummy that even my most particular eaters will eat it and get seconds, which is great! This recipe can be doubled and baked in a 9×13 dish to feed a crowd.
In a large bowl, combine the cornbread mix, egg and milk until well blended.
Spread it into an 8x8 baking dish sprayed with nonstick cooking spray and bake for 15 minutes.
While the cornbread is baking, prepare the ground chuck. You can either cook 1/2-pound ground chuck (or more if your family desires) with 1/2-packet taco seasoning or used taco meat is frozen and thawed.
Mix the sour cream, cheese and onion together in a bowl. (I usually rinse and dry the one I used for the cornbread mix and use it again to save on the number of dishes.)
Carefully spread the meat over the baked cornbread.
Dollop and spread the sour cream mixture over the meat.
Put it back in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, until it's heated through and the cheese is melted.
Top with shredded lettuce and diced tomato, if desired, or eat as is (which is what we do around here!).
Most of my life, I’ve struggled with feeling left out. Sometimes I was intentionally left out or excluded. Other times I was just overlooked. And sometimes I just perceived it that way. It’s happened a lot.
When you’re a quiet person, it’s easy to be overlooked. You’d think that would make me more talkative or strive to include myself in things. It works almost exactly the opposite. Once I start feeling the pinprick of being left out, I tend to shut down even more. It’s a vicious cycle that continues over and over.
Growing up
As a kid, I was the youngest and quietest. My older brother was (and still is!) more vocal than I was and my older cousin, who we spent a lot of time with, was the same. The two of them were boys and closer in age than I was to them. They paired off many times while I flew solo. I didn’t always mind, but sometimes I did. I felt unheard many times, because it’s very easy for my voice to get lost in boisterous conversations.
It was outside of family that I struggled the most. Again, being quiet worked against me in being included. I also seemed to have a knack for picking friends who wouldn’t stay friends with me. There was the girl in fifth grade who told me in a catty tone about how she was having a Halloween party and inviting everyone in the class except me. (Later she was working at a retail store with which I had an issue and she had to treat me with respect and kindness. The adult me high-fived the fifth grade me over that!)
We will just skip over middle school because middle school stinks all around. I think that’s true for everyone! High school brought its own challenges. I had three really close friends turn their backs on me at different times throughout those four years of high school. It smarted a lot.
One of them went to my church and not only turned her back on me but took the rest of the youth group with her. That was hard. Fortunately, I was dating my husband by then and he was able to come to some of our youth group outings, which made them much easier. But it was difficult. I’m not a person who looks back fondly at memories of church youth group.
As an adult
As an adult, I’ve continued to struggle with this feeling for all those same reasons yet again. I am almost 40 years old, and I STILL struggle. I’ve learned to talk about it with my husband; he’s a great gauge to see if I’m really being left out or if I’m just being oversensitive. I’m thankful to have him around to help me out, because I truly need it.
And all of this is why God embracing me means so very much to me. He never leaves me out. He is never snarky. God doesn’t get his friends to all stop talking to me. He doesn’t overlook me because I’m quiet. My Father doesn’t talk over me. He opens His arms, invites me in and holds me close as we chat.
I cannot think of anything greater than that. There are innumerable songs about this very thing, but lately I have been loving Hillsong’s “Who you say I am.” I love the following part in particular:
“In my Father’s house There’s a place for me I’m a child of God Yes I am I am chosen Not forsaken”
Finding a place with God
I cling to that promise on the days and times when I’m feeling out of sorts. My Father has a place for me. He hasn’t forgotten me or excluded me. He’s got a place for me in His house — both on earth and in heaven. And His house on earth doesn’t mean just the church. Like most Christians, I have been hurt by the church. I have been left out by the church at all ages of my life and different churches, because churches are filled with people. People aren’t perfect.
But, God is. I can fellowship with Him on earth any time I want. He is my friend when I feel friendless. He never leaves me out when I feel forgotten. I am chosen and have never been forsaken by Him. And neither have you!
Whether you’ve struggled with feeling left out your whole life like I have or whether you’ve struggled with something else, God loves you, has a place for you and calls you His child. He hasn’t forsaken you, no matter how far you’ve fallen or how hard life has smacked you. He is right there, holding on to you and longing to fellowship with you.
I’ve got to say that as someone who continues to fight this battle of feeling left out, there is no greater reassurance than knowing that my Heavenly Father always has a place for me. Always. Not just when it’s convenient. Not just when I remind Him. And not just when He happens to look my way and notice me. Always. Always! Praise God that He loves us so very much!
Valentine’s gifts kids will love that don’t include candy or toys!
I really enjoy Valentine’s Day. I love celebrating love with my family. I tend to be a sentimental person anyway, and Valentine’s Day gives me an excuse to do so!
I start on Feb. 1 with putting hearts on my kids’ bedroom doors each evening of the things I love about them. I do that through Feb. 14. This year I even added in doing hearts for my husband on the back of our closet door of the things I love about him.
While I love loving on my family, I kinda don’t want to break the bank to express that to them. I promise I’m not cheap, but by the time Feb. 14 rolls around, we’ve had Christmas and then my son’s birthday at the end of January. I’m not inclined to buy my kids big gifts or toys.
I’m not all that included to buy them candy either, though, I usually get some small candy for them. I do like to get them each a gift or two I know they will like and will make them feel special but won’t break the bank.
With that in mind, I went in search of good Valentine’s gifts for kids under $20 and figured I’m not alone in my quest to avoid toys, candy and cheap trinkets that will get thrown away, broken or forgotten within hours. I’ve found some good stuff!
Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
And everything is Amazon Prime eligible, so if you are an Amazon Prime member, you can get it within two days with free shipping. If you aren’t an Amazon Prime member, no worries! You can sign up for a free 30-day trial and take advantage of the free, two-day shipping for any of these items. Nice!
For Girls
These Melissa and Doug butterfly and heart stamps are super cute. My daughter loves anything related to crafts like stamps, markers, paints and stickers. We’ve always had great luck with Melissa and Doug products. Even better these stamps are a great price at only $6.99 as an add-on item, but spending $25 at Amazon is pretty easy to do!
I love this grow your own crystals jewelry set from Alex. Combining a science activity of growing crystals with creating pretty jewelry is hitting it out of the park! Educational? Check. Cute and fun? Check. All of that on top of only being $9.99, and I’m pretty sure this is going in my daughter’s Valentine’s Day gift bag this year!
Another great option is hair accessories. Right now my daughter is into scrunchies. We discovered that you can get huge packs of them on Amazon for great prices. My daughter has loved this pack of 52 scrunchies in various textures and colors that are only $5.99 right now on Amazon. They are good quality with elastic that is stretchy but not loose.
If scrunchies aren’t her thing, these coil hair ties work for even my daughter’s incredibly thick hair without getting caught. They are ideal for ponytails and come in all sorts of different colors.
Headbands are another great option for pretty much any girl with any length of hair. My daughter is a big fan of anything with glitter and sparkle and always has been. (She totally gets that from me!) That’s why this 8-piece set of glitter headbands called to me. You can also opt to get them with glitter bows or plain bows if that is more your daughter’s style.
If your daughter likes to draw or write or both, this sketch book is an awesome find for Valentine’s Day! It says “Best Daughter Ever” on the front, which is sweet and I’m sure true. (Though, I will debate that mine is the best daughter ever, but we’ll let that go for now! Hee, hee, hee!) It would also pair well with the Melissa and Doug butterfly and heart stamps above. And for $6.99, it’s a great deal!
Another combo that works well for girls is this Klutz Bath and Body Activity Kit. You get to make your own bath bombs and products to use in the bath, which is great for science skills, and is also fun to use! At 9, my daughter is getting more and more into beauty type products and this fits right in with that while also still being age appropriate. Its price tag of $8.62 makes it that much better!
We really are fans of Melissa and Doug products, which is why I’ve got another one on the list for you! This Decorate-Your-Own Wooden Heart Box craft kit is not only cute and priced well at $6.99, but it’s something that’s can stick around for years. My daughter did this kit when she was 5. Now, four years later, she is still using her wooden heart box. I love stuff that has longevity like that!
If your daughter has her ears pierced, earrings are also a great option for a Valentine’s Day gift she will love but won’t add extra clutter to your house. Stainless steel heart studs are a good option for Valentine’s Day. For $7.99 to $10.99, you can get one, three or five pairs of different metal colors. They are so incredibly cute!
My daughter loves earrings, but we discovered after getting her ears pierced that she is allergic to all metals except gold. So if you want/need gold-plated earrings that are dangly and sparkly (which my kiddo loves!), check out these 18-K gold plated dangling heart earrings for $14.99. They come in four different colors, including a gorgeous purple. (Of course, I love anything purple!)
For Boys
I’ve got to say the first item on my list for my son is an unexpected one. But we were out shopping last evening for new jeans for him and he spied rain boots. His level of excitement over them surprised me. He gave me a whole spiel about how he’s never had rain boots before. So now I’m thinking I need to make this happen for him. Living at the dead end of a street now, we are in a great spot for him to splash in puddles. I found some rain boots that came in all sorts of cute colors and patterns. They average $20 in price. Some are just under and some are a dollar over based on the pattern and size. My son wears a size 3 and would love the dino print, which is $19.90.
We love coloring and crafting at our house. Well, my kids do. I like to color, but crafts aren’t my thing. That comes from their dad. However, my son is hard on markers. Being 6, he likes to color full force with whatever he is using. So new markers are always a good idea and these Crayola Washable Super Tip markers are our favorite. They come in a pack of 50 colors and can both be used for fine line and thick line, which is a great idea! And I love that they are truly washable, because we’ve gotten marker all sorts of places. Add in that they’re only $13.11, and I’m one happy mama!
And if you’re getting markers, you might as well add in a cool coloring book to use them in. I love this Lego Marvel Avengers and Batman super heroes coloring book. First, my son loves anything Lego, including super heroes, yet we don’t have any Lego coloring books, so it’s a total win. Second, he likes super heroes from both comic universes, and this includes both DC (Batman) and Marvel (Spider-man, Ironman, Captain America, etc.). For just $6.99, it would work well with the markers to make a nice gift. Of course, it would also be great solo or with crayons if you prefer.
Another great idea for boys is a sticker mosaic art kit. My son grabbed a couple from our craft drawer recently and had such a great time with them. Stickers are always fun and the fine motor skills practice to remove the small stickers and get them in the squares is terrific. If your kiddo is still learning colors or numbers, these are great for that, too. Amazon has a pack of eight sticker mosaic sheets for $12.99 that have dino, animal and space themes. These really come in handy for bad weather days or traveling.
Dinosaurs tend to be a favorite for almost all boys I know in elementary school and younger — my 6-year-old son included. This National Geographic Fossil Dig Kit includes three real fossils (both bones and teeth). It comes with an educational book to help kids learn as they play. And even better to kiddos, it means they get to play in the dirt! We really like the National Geographic sets. They’re made well and priced well. This one is only $9.99.
Depending on who you are, you might consider Legos toys. I guess technically they are, but they are so great for building and engineering skills that I’m on board with them even for Valentine’s Day. My son is super in to Legos right now and can now follow the manuals on his own to put sets together. He got one of these Lego Creator Might Dinosaur 3-in-1 sets for Christmas and loved it. What’s cool about this set is that you can build three different dinosaurs, a T-rex, triceratops and pterodactyl. However, be aware that you can only build one of them at a time. Amazon has the set for $11.99, which is a good deal for Legos.
If your kiddo isn’t so into dinosaurs, the Lego Creator 3-in-1 kits come in other versions as well. There is a Lego Creator 3-in-1 Mythical Creature set, also for $11.99. It builds a dragon, troll and giant spider. If neither of those would be a good fit, there is also a Lego Creator 3-in-1 Deep Sea Creatures set for $12,93 that builds a shark, crab and squid.
Stickers are such a huge hit with kiddos. I love when they come with a book that you need to place the stickers in. Then I don’t have to worry about them getting stuck places they shouldn’t or being left on clothes that go into the washing machine! This Ultimate Sticker Book for the Marvel Spider-man: Into the Spider-Verse is a great deal with 100 stickers for only $5.82. The sticker book includes information about Miles Morales, the main character in the Spider-verse movie who my son fell in love with, as well as some villains and Spider-man allies.
Books
One of my other favorite gifts for Valentine’s Day for the kids is books. Sometimes I go with holiday themed books and other times just with books they’ll be interested in.
Picture Books
We love Pinkalicious! While my daughter has almost outgrown picture books in general, she still loves Pinkalicious. And a Pinkalicious Valentine’s Day book, “Pinkalicous: Pink of Hearts,” for $6.29 is hard to pass up. Our son enjoys Pinkalicious, too, since most of the books include her little brother, Peter, who has gotten so popular he even has his own series now.
I grew up enjoying the Berenstain Bears books and my kiddos have enjoyed them just as much. I am constantly surprised by how many different ones I find about all sorts of topics. So it makes sense that “The Berenstain Bears’ Funny Valentine” exists. Even better, the book only costs $3.99. It would be a great addition to your kids’ Valentine’s Day gifts without putting much of a dent in your wallet.
If you’re looking for something that isn’t holiday themed, consider “Dinotrux” from Chris Gall. This is the book that inspired the series on Netflix with the same name. My son is in love with this book. While he is generally past the age where he wants to read the same book over and over and over, this is one exception to that. Amazon has it for $6.99.
One of my all-time favorite books we read with our kids is “God Gave us You” from Lisa Tawn Bergren. It is such a sweet story of a mama bear and her cub as the mama recounts the cub being born and what a gift the cub is from God. I totally get choked up when I’m reading it sometimes. It is precious! We have a few other books that are part of this series as well, but “God Gave us You” is our favorite!
Chapter Books
Valentine’s Day can also be a great time to give your kiddo(s) the gift of a new book series to fall in love with. Right now we are currently reading “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” together as a family. Both my 6- and 9-year-old are enjoying it. My oldest wasn’t sure that she’d like the series. She resisted it for a while, but now that we’re into it, she’s loving it. And I’m enjoying reading the book again for the second time and finding little clues of things yet to come that I missed the first time around. You can buy the paperback versions for $8.87. (If you are a Kindle Unlimited member, you can read this book for free on your Kindle. As an avid reader, I love Kindle Unlimited. I’ve been a member for two years now. I got it as a gift from my husband and am so glad he had me try it. I LOVE it!)
Another favorite series of ours is Geronimo Stilton. This newspaper-writing mouse has all sorts of adventures. The series has even branched into prehistoric times and space! Of course Geronimo Stilton has a Valentine’s Day book. “Geronimo’s Valentine” would be a great way to get into the series. These chapter books are a little bit lighter and work well for kids just starting to read chapter books or younger kids who are beginning to enjoy chapter books being read to them. They have illustrations throughout to break up the text.
The Owl Diaries is another great series for early chapter book readers or listeners. Just like with Geronimo Stilton, the books have some illustrations throughout to break up the text. They follow an owl named Eva and the adventures she has going to school every night. They don’t have to be read in order, but the best place to start really is with the first one, “Eva’s Treetop Festival.” And don’t let the pink on the cover fool you; these books are just as much for boys as for girls. My son has enjoyed them as well as many of my daughter’s male classmates. There was one point in first grade where she and some of her classmates were trading these library books around as they devoured them!
Going a little more advanced, the Goddess Girls series has captured my daughter’s heart. The series starts with “Athena the Brain.” The characters are based on Greek gods, but written from the perspective of them being in school together as they are growing and learning. My daughter loves these books so much. She has enjoyed many passages so much that she comes running to me to read them out loud.
Last week I was in my son’s kindergarten classroom at the end of the day to bring in cookies to celebrate his birthday with his classmates. He’s my second kiddo in this kindergarten class, so I’ve been in and out of it quite a few times.
But last week I heard something I hadn’t heard before. It was the end of the day and the teacher was having all the students gather their belongings. As they were settled in and waiting for dismissal, she asked them to use sign language to say a few things. Sign language isn’t new. Both of my kids have learned it in kindergarten, and I love that it’s part of their curriculum. The sign language wasn’t what got me, though. It was what she had them say.
I am important.
I am special.
I am smart.
Then, in true kindergarten teacher fashion, she said to them, “Boys and girls, remember that you are important, special and smart.”
I found myself overwhelmed in that moment. What a wonderful moment! (And what a wonderful reminder of how much I love their school!) Can you imagine what the world would be like if each of us not only heard but believed those affirmations every day?
I don’t know if all the kindergarteners go home to hear those kind of things. I know that we try to speak positively in our house, but I doubt I say those things so clearly to my children as often as I should.
The wonderful thing about 5- and 6-year-olds is that they believe these words without feeling embarrassed. They don’t feel a need to explain themselves. They accept them without downplaying them. They listen to them without hearing an inner voice saying that they aren’t these things.
Can you imagine if every day of your life you heard those words and believed them? What if boys in upper elementary struggling with their aggression heard these words every day? What if girls in middle school struggling with body image heard these words every day? What if teenagers facing peer pressure heard these words every day? What if college students struggling to make their way in the world heard these words every day? What if young mamas doubting their momming skills heard these words every day? What if husbands and fathers stressing over providing for their families heard these words every day? What if retirees working to redefine themselves heard these words every day? What if YOU heard these words every day?
You are important.
You are special.
You are smart.
What a difference we would see in our world. I can imagine the change starting in each of us. Having a reminder that we are important, special and smart shifts our attitudes just enough to make a difference. Suddenly we have enough confidence to try new things and not shy away from challenges. Suddenly we understand we are worth taking care of and start living more healthy lifestyles. Suddenly we are free to love others more fully and stop beating ourselves up.
We can easily look at our children and see these truths, but we often miss them when we look in the mirror. I can tell my children they are important, special and smart and believe it 100 percent.
However, when I think of saying them to or about myself I start to fade. It’s hard to believe them about ourselves. But God created us. He made us important, special and smart. As I tell my kids, God doesn’t make junk. If our Father thinks these things about us, then who am I to question the Creator of the universe?!
I have to believe that I’m not the only person who needs to hear these words. And I have to believe my son’s class aren’t the only ones who need to hear them either. Maybe what we need to do is learn a lesson from kindergarten and tell ourselves these things every single day. Isn’t it at least worth a try? I sure think so!
Easy-to-make buttercream frosting so scrumptious everyone will think you got it from a bakery!
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Oh. My. Gosh! I am still flabbergasted about this buttercream frosting recipe. I’ve tried various recipes for buttercream frosting and didn’t love any of them. I don’t want my icing to taste too buttery. But, I don’t want it to be so sweet that it makes my teeth ache.
Finally after tweaking with recipes, I’ve done it. I’ve created the best buttercream frosting! Even better is that it really is easy enough for anyone to make. This is completely doable for anyone with some basic ingredients and a mixer (handheld or stand).
I’m an icing lover. LOVER! I love cake and cupcakes, especially if they are moist and delicious. I told you a couple of days ago about the four tweaks I use to make cupcakes (and cakes) better than the bakery. But all that yummy cake needs something special on top of it. I have eaten icing from so many bakeries and so many different types. Some are so super sugary. Some are greasy. This one is just right.
Now I’m going to guess you’re thinking that of course I love it because I love icing. And that’s true to an extent (I have tasted some mediocre icing, to say the least!), I have even more proof: My husband loves this buttercream frosting! I have never, ever, ever made an icing that my husband likes or encountered one from a bakery that he likes in the 20-some years I’ve been baking for the guy.
I am beside myself with joy! My husband is a nice guy and doesn’t say things to be mean, but he is also honest and will tell me if I make something he doesn’t care for. The fact that he not only told me the icing was the best he’s ever had but then proceeded to eat a few cupcakes with it on top has made me swoon!
So, of course, I’ve got to share the recipe with you. You already know how to make yummy sponge (as they say on all the baking shows!) thanks to the tweaks I’ve shared. Now you can make yummy icing for the top with just a few ingredients. While you can top your cupcakes with the buttercream frosting by smearing it on with a butter knife or spatula, I use a pastry bag and star tip. It used to intimidate me, but it looks pretty and it really does take less time to frost cupcakes. I have no cake decorating skills and I can make them looked swirled OK. You can do it, too!
While I whip up this icing using my beloved Kitchenaid stand mixer, you can also make it with a handheld mixer. The recipe below makes plenty of icing for one cake or 24 cupcakes. (And if you have a bit extra and want to lick it from the bowl, I won’t judge you because I totally did the same thing!)
Making the frosting
Listen, I know that shortening isn’t so healthy. Of course, neither is butter, but you really do need both for this recipe. I buy baking sticks and then store them in the fridge. Honestly, this is the only recipe I use them for, but it’s so worth it!
Put the butter and shortening into a large mixing bowl or the bowl of your stand mixer and cream them together. Basically, beat them together until they are smooth and fluffy.
Next, gradually add in the confectioner’s sugar until it’s fully incorporated into the butter/shortening.
Once the confectioner’s sugar is incorporated, then add the vanilla and stir it in. Next, add in the milk on low speed (otherwise it will splash out and hit you). Once the milk is stirred in, then beat the buttercream icing on medium to medium-high speed for three to four minutes until it’s nice and fluffy.
Use the butter cream to frost completely cooled cakes or cupcakes. You can add food coloring if you’d like. One batch makes enough icing for one 9×13-inch cake, two 9-inch round cakes (with icing between the layers) or 24 cupcakes.
Just look at this creamy, yummy deliciousness!
Quick and easy buttercream
This quick, easy and oh-so-delicious buttercream frosting recipe is so scrumptious that everyone will think you bought it from a bakery!
Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
My son loves cake and icing as much as I do. I’m thankful for that since my daughter and husband don’t share that love! So, I am happy to make cupcakes for his birthday parties. He likes to have both vanilla and chocolate. I can whip them up for a fraction of a cost from the bakery and thanks to some tips I’ve gotten from others and learned on my own, they usually are fresher and taste better than a bakery!
Even better, none of my tips require you to be a professional, highly-skilled baker. I certainly am not. They also don’t require lots of kitchen equipment or weird ingredients. With just a few tweaks, you can turn a boxed caked mix into scrumptious cupcakes!
Doctor up a cake mix. A few years ago, my baker friend, Kayla, shared with me her tip for making delicious cakes and cupcakes. I told you about her with her pillowy soft yeast rolls that make me swoon. This cupcake recipe has been in my life even long and I swear by it! You can use it for cakes or cupcakes. I’ve done both and had excellent results with both.
Instead of baking from scratch, start with a cake mix. It actually saves money and makes your life easier. (Another tip from Kayla!) Dump out a regular cake mix into your mixing bowl. (I use my beloved stand mixer, who I’ve named!) Add in 4 eggs, 1 cup of water, 1/2 cup of vegetable oil and one small pudding mix that matches the cake. Stir until combined and then stir vigorously by hand or on medium with your mixer for 2 minutes.
Reduce the bake time. My great-aunt shared a tip years ago to never bake a cake or brownies as long as the directions say to. She definitely knew her stuff! Of course you don’t want raw batter, but taking your cupcakes or cake out 2-5 minutes earlier than the box says is usually perfect. Check on your cupcakes to see if they are done enough and if not leave them in for 2 more minutes then check again. I check mine by using inserting a toothpick into the middle of a couple of them. If the toothpick comes back clean or with crumbs, the cupcakes are finished. If it comes back with wet batter, they are not finished.
Fill all tins the same. In order for all 12 of your cupcakes to need the same bake time, they need to be the same size. I usually fill my cupcake tins about 3/4 full, which is a little more than the box mixes say because I usually get 22-23 cupcakes from a box mix instead of 24. No matter how much you fill them, though, make sure they are all pretty equal. You could totally measure the batter for even better accuracy, but I totally just do it by eye.
You can see the moist deliciousness of these chocolate cupcakes!
I bake out my cupcakes my Rachael Ray muffin tin because it really is so awesome. I have realized that it’s time for me to invest in a second muffin tin for making so many cupcakes because it would make my life a bit easier. If I’m making a cake, I reach for my Rachael Ray 9×13 cake pan, which nothing sticks to!
Use cupcake liners. You can totally bake cupcakes without liners, but I like them for a couple of reasons. The first is they are easier to handle for decorating. The liners also make them easier to distribute when it’s time to serve. And the second reason leads us to the next tip…
Remove the cupcakes from the pans immediately. If you use liners, then you can remove cupcakes from the pans immediately. Then the hot pan doesn’t keep cooking them. (It is also good if you are baking more cupcakes because you can move on quicker to the next batch!) I use a butter knife to gently pop the cupcake up and transport it to a cooling rack or wax paper to start cooling. Sometimes I use a couple of fingers to hold it steady on the knife, and sometimes I wear an oven mitt to do so. I’ve found my fingers are easiest and I really don’t get burnt, but do whatever you’re comfortable with.
Store them well. Because of time constraints, most often I bake cupcakes the day before the party when we need them. As long as they are stored out of the air they are just as moist and fresh the next day — if not more so! My current favorite solution is the large, disposable roasting pans. They fit 24 cupcakes each and usually come with plastic lids. I love these also for easy transport to the party.
Looking for an icing recipe? Be sure to check out my recipe for quick, easy and oh-so-delicious buttercream. With just a few basic ingredients and a mixer (handheld or stand), you can whip up this delectable icing in just minutes!
Last April we moved into our new house with a wood-burning fireplace in the living room. By the time we were settled enough to use it, it was too warm to think of building a fire. However, over these last few weeks that has changed. This past weekend we had incredibly frigid weather and my husband built a fire for us three days in a row. We loved the heat and warmth and coziness of it.
Today I was walking through the living room and noticed that the fireplace is no longer clean. Until recently, the brick inside the fireplace looked pretty much the same as the brick around the fireplace. It wasn’t marred. It was clean. Now, though, it has black soot in spots and has ashes in the bottom. It’s lost its pristine state. I didn’t notice those blemishes so much when it was burning bright with fire and warmth. I was too busy enjoying it.
Now I see them. I could say the fireplace is no longer as beautiful as it once was. But the fireplace got those marks from fulfilling its purpose, and is there anything more beautiful than that? After all, we didn’t plan for a wood-burning fireplace for it to just be an unused showpiece. We looked forward to the extra warmth it would bring our family on cold winter days and evenings. It couldn’t provide any of those things without getting dirty and scarred.
We are so much the same way! In a few months, I’m hitting a milestone birthday and turning 40. I haven’t lived through 40 years of life without scars and blemishes. Some of them you can see like the scar on my knee from a cut I had as a child. I’ve got freckles on my skin from being out in the sun. My abdomen has scars from numerous surgeries. I’ve also gotten unseen scars through the years. I hesitate to open myself up to new people, because I have scars reminding me of the pain the happens when trust is betrayed. I’ve got the scars left from losing loved ones to death, even when I know they are in a better place. And I have scars of fear for how my health is going to be each and every day.
I’m not pristine by any stretch of the imagination. But I don’t want to be scarred and blemished just for the sake of being scarred and blemished. Just like I didn’t throw dirt into my fireplace to make it dirty for no reason, so I don’t want to do that in life. I want my scars and blemishes to be used for my God-given purpose in life. I want to use them to honor Him. Those scars from my surgeries are times I can praise God that He brought me through safely and helped me recover each and every time in spite of the challenges that came my way as a result. They are reminders of His faithfulness and because I have them, I can better minister to those facing surgery or health issues. I can pray for them in more personal ways.
And those emotional scars of being betrayed by someone I thought was a friend serve to remind me that I have a Friend who will never betray me. Those scars of losing loved ones remind me how very precious life is. I still struggle with grief because my most recent loss was only three months ago. These last few years have been a season of loss for my family and those scars ache. But I remember lives lived fully. I remember God’s faithfulness, strength and peace even when my heart has been broken into pieces. Those scars allow me to minister to those dealing with loss more empathetically.
I want to live my life scarred and blemished but still praising God. He didn’t create me to sit on a shelf and not get messy. He could have made life without pain, but then how would we ever really know we needed Him? We appreciate the light so much more once we have been in the darkness. I want to be used up. Am I excited and wanting more hurt and hard times? Not especially. However, I know they will come. Life works that way. It is filled with highs and lows. But my scars remind me that no matter the high or the low, God is good and He is ever faithful. He holds me close and has scars of His own to prove how much He loves me.
I want to be burned up like my fireplace. I want to serve my purpose. I don’t want to be so afraid of getting dirty and scarred that I stop trying. I don’t want to let emotional scars keep me from making new friends. I don’t want to let physical scars keep me from trying new activities. I want to remember the lessons I’ve learned, share them as much as I can and know that through it all — every bump, bruise and cut — God is always faithful. He sees the beauty in my brokenness and in my scars.
My son’s birthday is next week. Boy that comes quick! We’ve been doing some birthday planning around here. I try to work ahead with my kiddos and ask them a month or two ahead of time what theme they have in mind (both have picked themes previously that didn’t have party supplies made commercially and required me to get creative). That also gives us time to talk about and fine-tune the theme to make sure it’s practical and do-able as well!
We have some of our own birthday traditions our whole family really does enjoy. Along the way of having kiddos and planning parties, I’ve learned a few things that work well and figured I’d share them with you, because we’re in this together!
My overall birthday party philosophy is to make sure I plan a party my kids and their friends will enjoy. I have found numerous decor ideas and snack table ideas and so forth on Pinterest that I know kids won’t really care about. I don’t care if I impress the other moms who come to my kids’ parties. I care if my kids and their friends have fun! This perspective helps me remember what matters most (my kiddo feeling special and having fun on his or her birthday) and reduces my stress level and pressure I feel to create a perfect party with lots of small details.
Think about your budget. This is pretty much where everything always starts, isn’t it? You’ve got to know how much money you are comfortable spending in order to plan well. Personally, I tend to stick with a lower budget because it just makes sense to me for a kid’s party and there’s so much you can do without breaking the bank. Consider costs for the location, food, paper products and treat bags.
Figure out your space. Obviously you’ve got to have somewhere to have the party. For me, not having it at home is the very best plan. Having it at home adds lots more stress for me. I’m not sure that’s true for everyone, but I’m guessing it’s true for most of us. So figure out where you’re going to have the party. Go back to your budget and decide if you want to pay for a venue and if so what might work with your budget as well as how much space you need and how many people you want to include.
For the first friend party we threw for our daughter, we went to a local bowling alley. It was fun for her but it also meant that we had to keep the guest list smaller and that we weren’t able to have ice-cream because they didn’t have a freezer. But on the other hand we didn’t have to have plan any activities (because bowling!). Since then we have opted to have our parties in our church gymnasium. It’s been a great fit for us because there is lots of space inside, great parking outside and a kitchen we can use.
Decide on your guest list. Before you mention it to your kiddo, think first about your budget and where you are planning to have the party. Are you having it at a venue that offers a limited number of spaces for kids parties? Are you having it at home and only have room for a few kids? Are you having it somewhere that you can invite as many kids as your child wants? Once you have an idea of about how many kids you are thinking to have, start talking to your child about it. I have done both options of giving my kids a specific number that we have to stay with and just asking them who all they want to include. It totally depends on your situation. Now that we use the gym at church, I don’t give them a set number, but we do pay attention to who they want to invite.
I try to encourage them to include friends they spend time with and enjoy. I’m less inclined to invite the entire class. I like the kiddos to pick kids they will play with, interact with and have fun with. Of course, I’m also an introvert, so I tend to think smaller gatherings are better anyway. That may be just the opposite for you and your family and that’s totally fine! You just need to know up front.
Get out invitations at least two weeks before the party. I think the earlier invitations go out, the better. If you can get them out a month ahead of time, go for it! I have done invitations three different ways. For my daughter’s first friend party, I sent them out via email with a Google form to RSVP. That wasn’t as successful.
Facebook has worked well for some party invitations. I have done that more for my daughter because she has been with the same basic group of kids since kindergarten. And now that she’s in third grade, I am either friends with their parents on Facebook or can easily find them. So I just make a Facebook event and invite people that way.
Paper invitations also work. In fact, for my son’s party I went the paper route. You can buy invitations and fill them out or make your own and print them. I printed ours. Be sure you don’t forget information and include the date, time, location (with address) and contact information for RSVPing (I usually do my cell phone number and email address). I have also included before whether parents were welcome to drop off and leave the kiddos or if they needed to know anything else. For example, when my daughter had an art party a couple of years ago, I noted on the invitation that they might want to wear something that would be OK to get washable art supplies on.
Decide on activities. We have a pretty set format for our parties. One of the popular stations that works no matter what the party theme is a coloring table. I print out some coloring sheets are geared toward the theme and put out some crayons. When the kids come in, they immediately have something they can do. Good to see you! Want to color? I leave it set up throughout the party so that if kids want to go back to their coloring they have that option.
I try to plan about two organized activities or games thinking about the age range of kids I have. My daughter (for whom we’ve had the most friend parties because she is older) tends to like activities more than games, but we have done both. For her art party, we had craft stations. For her baby doll party, we basically played lots of pretend and asked the guests to bring a doll or stuffed animal and they could do different things like a diaper toss game but also sit at a table with doll food and feed their “babies.” This past year, she wanted a Barbie and beauty theme, so we had nail painting and lip gloss making.
My son, on the other hand, is younger and more active. He likes games. We have done a version of pin the tail on the donkey that was pin the fire on the dragon for his dragon-themed party. At the same party, the kids swung at a dragon pinata with a toy sword to slay it. I try to keep it simple. But, I do find that having one or two organized activities helps keep the kids engaged and having fun.
Once you’ve decided what to do, then decide your order. We typically do games and activities first, which take about an hour. Then we have snacks for about 30 minutes before finishing the final 30 minutes with opening gifts.
Don’t forget food! Of course you need food at a party. I usually plan my parties for 2 to 4 p.m. so we can offer snacks but don’t have to serve a meal. This is my plan for two reasons. First, my own kids don’t like stopping their playing and fun for eating all that much. So they want things quick and easy rather than having to sit longer and eat a meal. Second, it’s cheaper.
The biggest thing I do with food is make sure it is what the birthday kid likes. My daughter — bless her heart — doesn’t like cake or icing very much. (I’m still trying to figure out how she belongs to me!) So we don’t have cake. The last two years we had doughnuts instead. (I got all the same yeast doughnuts and then got her a bigger one to put a candle in.) One year we did an ice-cream sundae bar.
These are the cupcakes I made for my son’s dragon party. I topped enough of the kids’ ones with small dragon figures so they got an additional party favor that way. I’ve also used rings as cupcake toppers. This year I’m using small cake pop sticks with printed images of Miles Morales from “Spider-man into the Spider-verse” on them at my son’s request.
My son, on the other hand, loves cake. I usually bake the cake for him because I love baking and it does save funds. Cupcakes are my go-to for kid parties because they are easier to serve. I usually do chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with vanilla icing. They look fancy if you use an icing bag and just plop it on top with a tip so it kind of swirls, but you can totally just use a butter knife or spatula and smear it on. I also like the individual ice-cream cups to serve the ice-cream instead of having to scoop it out. But, you can definitely scoop it out as needed or into small plastic cups or bowls ahead of time.
Along with the sweets, I offer other kid-friendly food. Goldfish are always popular. Sometimes I do pretzels, too. For my daughter’s party we also had cheesy puffcorn and it was a huge hit. I try to offer a fruit of some sort as well like grapes or strawberries. My husband and I station ourselves at the food table when it’s time for snacks and help the kids make their plates, especially at younger ages. We also simplify where we can. Like for my son’s party last year, we used punch cups and filled them with some pretzels and Goldfish so the kids could just grab a cup of them instead of having to scoop them out.
For drinks, we keep it simple and usually have a pitcher of lemonade (with back-up to refill the pitcher) and a jug of water. For my daughter’s baby doll party I did make punch and floated some brand-new, clean rubber ducks in it, though.
Decorations don’t have to be elaborate to be fun. Some moms are super great at decorating and crafting. I am not one of them. While I can easily make the cupcakes because I love baking, I can’t easily make lots of decorations. Maybe you’re the opposite. If so, go with what works for you. Almost always it’s easier on the budget if you can make something versus purchase it.
This was our table setup for the dragon party last year as well. I found the inflatable dragon for a couple of dollars to add some fun. And my son played with that dragon for a couple of months afterward!
My decoration plan is simple. I buy a plastic table cloth for the food table that matches the theme or colors. I buy the matching plates and napkins and cups of a similar color. I buy a birthday banner that matches the theme and hang it. Sometimes I use crepe paper and balloons we blow up ourselves for the door leading into the gym so people know where to go. I will say that I’m not a mom who lets the kids play with balloons because I have crazy balloon anxiety and can’t handle it. Otherwise, we usually end up making some decorations to hang up that are coloring pages for the theme that we color and glue to construction paper. The kids like being involved with this and it’s fun to see their artwork on display.
Plan for some extras. Once I’ve made the list of kids to invite, I tally our numbers, including siblings for families we know. For example, when we invite children from church, we usually know the entire family and expect all the children will come. When we invite children from school, we know they may or may not bring a sibling along. So I always make sure to plan for a few extras, because if someone brings a sibling or a cousin visiting for the weekend or whatever, I don’t want them to feel left out when it comes to treat bags or activities. I also make sure to have an idea in my head of how many parents may be there and plan enough food to make sure everyone can have snacks.
I like to fill treat bags with stuff I know my kids would like and actually use. I try to stay away from all candy, because I don’t like all-candy treat bags for my own kids. I like things like stickers, notebooks, temporary tattoos, fun erasers, pencils and small toys. I do usually include a couple of small pieces of candy as well. I look for things I could say yes to my kids eating one or two of after going to a party and eating sweets there.
Make sure you have enough help. As you assess your venue, number of children, activities and food, think about how much help you’ll need. While my husband and I work well together and get things covered, I’ve found that having my parents come along as well is incredibly helpful. For my daughter’s party last fall, for example, I ran out of time to clean and cut the strawberries, so my mom did that while I set up the party. She also helped with nail painting while I manned the lip gloss making table. Sometimes asking extended family or friends to come along and help makes life so much easier.
Assign someone to take photos. Who doesn’t want lots of photos of their kids’ birthdays?! With the digital age we don’t have to worry about going through too much film either. Sometimes I use my cell phone, but for their parties I tend to take our digital camera instead. Either way, though, I ask someone else to take some photos. My parents are helpful with that. I want photos, but I can be so busy helping the kids through games, activities, snacks and opening gifts that I don’t get a chance to take many. Having someone else do that for me has been invaluable. With that said, think about what kind of photos you want to have. I always like one of the kids by the birthday banner before everyone arrives. I usually try and take photos of the decorations that way as well. And, of course, I want photos with the candles on the cake (or doughnut!) and while they’re opening gifts. I also like to get a photo of all the kids together. Usually I bribe them and do this after activities, but before snacks so I can say something like, “If you want cake, come over here for a photo first.” Ha! It works!
