Families With Grace

Helping Christian moms create homes filled with grace, love & faith

15 Christmas gift ideas under $25 for almost everyone on your list

Find a Christmas gift idea for most of your list!

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Christmas shopping starts pretty much after Thanksgiving, and Black Friday deals have changed to weeklong deals. No matter how you feel about it, Christmas shopping season has arrived and with it the need for a Christmas gift idea for everyone on your list.

15 Christmas gift ideas under $25 for almost everyone on your list Pinterest image

I’ve never enjoyed being out in the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping. It stresses me out. A lot. In fact, the week after Thanksgiving, I usually plan to avoid any in-person shopping.

However, I LOVE online shopping. I’d say at least 75 percent of my Christmas gifts are bought online. I love most being able to sit in my house and find all sorts of good deals and favorite products that I can order and have show up at my door.

But even with that said, I still have to know what to get and that can be the biggest challenge of all! Coming up with Christmas gift ideas can be difficult.

So, I’ve put together a list with some of my favorite products that would make great Christmas gifts or stocking stuffers for less than $25 each (most are well under $20). I’ve got something for pretty much everyone on your Christmas gift list from your mom to your kids’ teachers to your husband to your best friend.

And if you want to snag a couple of these items for yourself, go for it! They are all priced well to be easy on the budget.

For your best friend or mom (or yourself!)

For a year, I’ve been carrying this Befen Leather Wristlet Clutch Smartphone Crossbody Wallet in purple. And I love it! It holds my phone,  everything I’d carry in a wallet and then some. It has three sections inside plus an outside pocket. The inner sections are all covered with a zipper so nothing falls out and the outside pocket, which is designed for a cell phone, has a magnetic snap to keep it secure.

Inside, I use one section for my cash and primary cards. Another side holds my less used cards and some coupons. A third zippered section in the middle is great for my other stuff like medicine, nail clippers, hand cleaner, ink pen, bandaids and lipstick.

I started out carrying this purse inside a bigger one. But I soon realized this smaller purse works almost all of the time. Nowadays, I seldom carry a larger purse. The purse is my go-to, everyday purse. And even when I do take a larger purse for some reason, the purple one fits right down inside of it so I don’t have to switch everything in and out.

Of all the purses I’ve ever carried, this one is my favorite. It’s concise and functional. I’ve been carrying it for a year and it is showing only minimal wear, which is remarkable considering all I put it through. I also love that it’s so light I can wear it across my body all the time.

So when I’m grocery shopping, I don’t have to worry about wandering away from my cart and leaving my purse unattended, because it’s on me. It makes my achy fibromyalgia shoulders and back happy as well.

For your kids’ teachers (or pretty much anyone!)

I love stainless steel tumblers. I’m not sure love is a strong enough word, actually. I use one every single day. I love it for ice cold water, because that’s what I drink most, but these cups work well for anything hot or cold. And they’re the perfect Christmas gift idea for pretty much anyone, including your kiddos’ teachers, babysitter, postal carrier, hairdresser, best friend, mom and on and on the list goes. Really, who couldn’t use a cup that keeps their beverage hot or cold all day long?! When these cups first came out, they were mostly plain stainless steel, but now there are all sorts of fun options.

The first one I love is this BUILT 30-Ounce stainless steel tumbler in Rose Gold Glitter because I love sparkle! It comes in almost other colors, too, but the rose gold is gorgeous. And I am a fan of the 30-ounce size, because it holds enough to not have to constantly refill, but it’s not so huge it’s hard to carry.

If you’re gifting to someone who doesn’t like sparkle (which baffles me that such people exist!), check out these cool 30-ounce Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Tumblers in a wide array of prints and color options. I love the Starry Night one, but there are colors and prints that would work for any gender and all sorts of interests.

For your baking friend

Honestly, I don’t buy many cookbooks any more because of the plethora of recipes online. I love Pinterest for organizing them! However, after reading so many of the Hannah Swensen cozy mystery books by Joanne Fluke (which I recommend if you are looking for easy, fun books with intrigue), I kept wanting to try the recipes included. The main character in the series owns a cookie shop and there are all sorts of yummy recipes as a result. As the series progresses, the recipes go beyond cookies to breads, cakes, pies and savory dishes as well. I decided I might as well just buy the Lake Eden Cookbook. I’m glad I did.

I’ve used multiple recipes from it and even found my favorite ever chocolate cake recipe in its pages. It is one cake I gladly make from scratch because it’s easy and so scrumptious. You don’t have to be a reader of the book series to appreciate the recipes. The cookbook has some text written about the characters, but I’ve never read it! (And I enjoy the series.) I just really like the recipes most. The cookbook is basically compiled like it’s from a variety of small-town folks who appreciate good, filling dishes that don’t use a huge amount of ingredients or things that are hard to find. It’s practical and also has very detailed directions for each recipe.

And if you feel like going further with this Christmas gift idea, add some nonstick Rachael Ray bakeware like I told you about in the pumpkin bread recipe would go well with the cookbook. While an entire set of the bakeware starts around $40, you can get a 9×13 rectangle pan or a set of 3 cookie pans (these cost more than $20 by 99-cents) for less.

For your fellow mom (or dad!) friend

Can we all just agree that kids are messy eaters? We are constantly battling crumbs at our house. At 5 and 9, my kids are old enough to get in on the action with sweeping the floor and wiping down the table as part of their chores. A couple of months back, my husband ordered up a mini vacuum that’s made crumb clean-up easier. It sweeps up crumbs from the table and is perfect for little hands to use! It eliminates the struggle of trying to wipe crumbs from the table into your hands to carry to the trashcan. I have trouble with that myself sometimes; my kids struggle even more.

This little vacuum, however, works well. We use it on our kitchen table and chairs. We got a new table and chair set a few months ago when we moved, but the bristles are soft enough that it doesn’t leave any scratches or marks on my table, which was important to me, too. Any parent with kids would love this! And being able to use a gadget helps the kids get more excited about helping with clean-up.

For your geek or gamer friend (or husband)

I’m going to be honest and tell you this is on my wish list for Christmas and may end up being something I order for my husband (here’s hoping he misses this post!). I know we’d both love either one of these fun coaster sets. I just have to decide which one. 

First are the Paladone Nintendo NES Cartridge Coasters. How cute are these?! They look like old school Nintendo cartridges that any kid from the 1980s would love. I kind of want to order them and see if I can blow into them to get them to work. (And if you understand why I’m saying that, this is totally something you should order!)

The other set of cool throwback coasters I found look like floppy disks. They are so cute! There are a few different option of these available, but I like this six pack of floppy disk coasters the most because they don’t have anything written on the label. You could totally use a Sharpie and customize the labels for yourself or just leave them blank. They come in more fun colors than I remember any of my floppy disks ever being!

For your husband, dad or brother

A couple of years ago, my husband first ordered a multi-tool to carry in his pocket. When that one broke, he ordered this Gerber Splice Pocket Tool. It comes in handy all the time. He uses it for all sorts of things from cutting down straws for our kids at restaurants to opening packages or other random tasks that come up. Men tend to like tools that have so many components and options and this one certainly does that. It’s a great Christmas gift idea for pretty much any guy on your list.

For your daughter or niece

When my daughter was almost 6, we got her ears pierced. Once she was able to start changing her earrings, we learned pretty quickly that anything not gold-plated made her ears break out in a rash. Both my mother-in-law and one of her sisters are the same way. They basically have an allergy to metals. We even tried the hypo-allergenic metals and silver-plated. All of them hurt her ears.

However, buying gold-plated jewelry for my then kindergarten-aged daughter to wear to school wasn’t something I had expected. I went in search of earrings she would like but also I wouldn’t have to stress about getting lost. Looking locally, I didn’t find a pair of gold-plated, girls’ earrings under $50, which seemed steep to me. I decided to check out Amazon and was so pleased to find a variety of gold-plated girls’ earrings for under $20. They make a nice gift for any age. These dangly, multi-colored flower earrings are one of my daughter’s favorite pairs that work well with different outfits. They are priced well for a stocking stuffer!

And just like her mama, my daughter loves sparkle. One of her other favorite pairs are these colorful hoops that are not too large and come in various colors. My daughter has these small hoop earrings in blue and wears them often. They are small enough to work for girls, yet large enough to work for women.

Another great find for girls is this unicorn tape dispenser. My daughter loves unicorns, which is why we got it for her. I knew she’d like the tape dispenser and use it, but I didn’t count on how much she would use it! It’s been a few months and she uses it at least a few times a week. It was definitely worth the price we paid and looks cute on her desk as well.

For your son or nephew

I’m not sure boys ever stop loving dinosaurs and fierce animals. I mean, they really are cool. My son loves dinos and wolves of any type! This Untamed Dire Wolf Fingerling is right up his alley. (My husband also thinks it’s pretty awesome.)

Another Christmas gift idea for boys (or girls!) of any age are these mesh squishy balls. My son first got one a few months ago. Our whole family liked it so much that I ordered a 12-pack and both my husband and I keep one at our desk. They work well to add into a gift or make great stocking stuffers. I’ve found them to be great to play with while I’m thinking or even while I’m listening to someone talk. I did accidentally pop one of these guys and slime oozed out, but so far neither my husband nor kids have done that, so I may have extra stress I’m working on! 🙂

Looking for more Christmas ideas? Check out these posts!
25 gag gifts that are clean

8 Ways to cope when holidays are hard

Dealing with grief during the holiday season

Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. They can be times filled with family and good food. But, they can also be filled with grief, aching hearts and shattered dreams. Oftentimes, it’s a mix of both. You may be heartbroken over some things, yet work to enjoy the time with the family or friends you are with. Dealing with grief during the holiday season is difficult.

The older I get, the more I find the bittersweetness in holidays and other big events. It really is all such a mix. With that in mind, I’ve put together 8 ways to cope with grief during the holiday season.

8 Ways to cope when holidays are hard: Dealing with grief during the holiday season

1. Give yourself some grace.

I’m going to start with this one right out of the gate. Grace is what we need most when we are grieving or struggling with something. Other people often extend it to us, but we don’t always give it to ourselves. If you are struggling with grief during this holiday season, recognize that and ease up on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not cooking this year or crying in the middle of dinner because someone is missing. Do your best and accept that your best good enough, even if it’s different than usual or different than you want it to be.

2. Let go of traditions that are painful or impossible.

It may be for just one season, but if you have a tradition that is causing you much stress and anxiety, let it go for this year. Explain to others, if necessary, that you just aren’t up to it this year. Most of the time, they’ll understand.

3. Avoid social media.

Nothing is worse when struggling to make it through a holiday than logging onto Facebook or Instagram and seeing posts and photos of happy people with perfect holiday celebrations. Even if you know in your head that you are only seeing the highlight reel and nobody has a perfect life and family, your heart often can’t handle it. I remember during one difficult holiday season, I went dark from social media for a few days. I didn’t regret it for a moment.

4. Get creative.

Sometimes you have to find a new normal, even if it’s a temporary one. One of my most thankful Thanksgivings was 12 years ago when my dad was just released the hospital the day before after a two-month stay in which we weren’t sure he’d live. My husband, parents and I sat at their kitchen table and ate lunchmeat sandwiches and chips. We were grateful that my dad was alive and home. That simple meal was delicious.

5. Pray about it.

Praying for help and strength to get through a difficult holiday helps you remember Who to turn to and focus on. Prayer can help remind you that God is there, He is with you and He will give you the strength that you need. Don’t hesitate to ask others to pray for you as well. Sometimes we don’t even know the words to say or what to ask for when we are in the middle of heartbreak. The prayers of our family and friends can buoy and strengthen us so much during those times.

6. Utilize Bible verses and breath-prayers throughout the day.

Find a Bible verse that comforts you — maybe it’s your favorite verse or maybe not. Dwell on it. Memorize it. Repeat it. Use it! God’s Word is powerful. Find a verse you can turn into a breath-prayer. Breath-prayers are one or two sentences that you can say over and over under your breath, almost without thought.

A couple of years ago, we were facing an incredibly difficult situation with a loved one. I clung to part of my favorite verse, Isaiah 41:10, and prayed, “God, strengthen and uphold us.” Simple, yet powerful and needed. For so many years I’ve loved that verse for the first part reminding me not to fear. But the second part of that verse was just what I needed for a breath-prayer 25 years after I first learned and loved the verse.

I had no clue when I first started finding comfort in that verse as a child going down a dark hallway that one day in the future I’d need the rest of that verse so desperately, but God did!

7. Set realistic expectations.

Go into the holiday season with some forethought. Along with missing people or dealing with a major stressor over the holiday season, sometimes dealing with our family members can be incredibly difficult. I have had times where I’ve imagined conversations I’d have with loved ones and how we’d get along so swimmingly. And then I’ve been heartbroken when that didn’t happen.

Don't be so busy thinking of what you are missing that you overlook what you have.

When you plan ahead a little in your mind, you can manage your expectations to help your own self. For example, if you know someone isn’t going to treat you well but you can’t avoid being with them, do your best to prepare yourself for the situation and how you will react in love and peace. 

8. Count your blessings.

I know that can be challenging sometimes. Some holidays are just stinking hard. Grief is hard whether a loved one has died, is away by choice or is away due to other circumstances. But in the midst of the heartache, there is still good. Remind yourself of the blessings you have.

Start with the most basic of things like being thankful for the clothes on your back or the air you’re breathing. Work from there and you will usually be surprised by how many things you can come up with. Remember also the people who love you. Sometimes missing someone else can make you appreciate those you have even more. You don’t want to be so busy thinking of what you are missing that you overlook what you have.

Never want to miss any Families with Grace content? Sign up for our mailing list and receive a FREE devotion book, “The Acts of Grace Challenge,” as well as a tip sheet on 10 ways you can start living as a family with grace right now! It’s chock-full of good, practical ideas to help bring peace to your home. Don’t miss out! Go here now!

10 Ways to be kind to your family today

Celebrate World Kindness Day from the inside out!

Happy World Kindness Day! Today is a day created to remind the world to be kind to each other. The focus is on making the world a better place through acts of kindness. I love that idea! It goes right along with my passion and Families with Grace. 

While you’re looking for and thinking about ways to be kind to those you encounter, don’t forget about the people you encounter most: your family! Sometimes being kind to those who live under the same roof as you can be harder and take more sacrifice.

For example, buying a coffee for the car behind you at the Starbucks drive-thru is kind, but it doesn’t require much time or effort. There is minimal sacrifice involved other than the few dollars extra that you pay. (And totally do something like this if you can; it really is a kind thing to do!)

But finding ways to be kind to our families can be a little more involved. My kids, for instance, wouldn’t think twice about me paying for their food or drinks because I always do since they are 5 and 9.

I’ve come up with some ideas for you to apply to your family for World Kindness Day — and the other 364 days of the year! Give them a try, let me know what you love and share some of your ideas as well.

1. Write a note.

Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, but I love a handwritten note. Even just a few sentences on a piece of paper that say how much you love and appreciate someone can make their day. Text messages or emails work, too, if that’s more your speed or works better for your family. 

2. Bake a favorite family treat.

I think my love language is food! LOL Seriously, though, there’s something about cooking or baking something special for those you love that is good for your soul. And they’ll love it, too!

Here are some yummy recipes you can try:
Fudgy brownies
Peanut butter cookies
Toffee cookies
Pumpkin bread
Oat and honey granola
4-ingredient whipped pudding pie
Peanut butter honey nut cereal clusters
Banana bread

3. Do someone else’s chore.

Our family is big on everyone has their own chores and is responsible for their own belongings. We’re trying to teach responsibility and all that jazz, but every so often taking someone else’s dishes to the sink for them or putting their dirty socks in the hamper is just plain kind and appreciated.

4. Go around the dinner table and share things you like about each other.

My family has done this randomly a couple of times. We’ve also done it on birthdays and focused on one person. Everyone loves to hear what other people like about them. Challenge your family to say three nice things about each family member that have to be more than their appearance. 

5. Ditch electronics, snuggle and chat.

What is kinder than giving someone your undivided attention? Even better, snuggle together on the couch and talk about your day. Try to do more listening than talking. The gift of being heard is priceless.

6. Banish complaints.

Decide to spend the entire day without complaining or grousing. Sometimes we get in the habit of seeing and talking about only negative things. Banish the negative and embrace the positive for a day. Your whole family can do it together or just you can do it. Either way, the shift in even one attitude can shift the attitude of the entire family.

7. Buy a small gift as a surprise.

Stop by the Dollar Tree for a small toy or trinket. Or stop by a gas station and pick up a favorite candy bar. You could even get a $5 gift card to a favorite fast food restaurant. Just find a little something your loved ones love and leave it somewhere for them to find like on their pillow, desk or usual end of the couch.

8. Join together to be kind.

Sometimes the best gift you can give your loved ones is the gift of learning to appreciate how good it feels to give. Talk about a family project you can undertake together to help someone else. Make a card together for an extended family member going through a hard time. Or go shopping for and deliver food to a local food pantry. Or bake cookies and take them to the local fire department.

9. Get crafty.

Homemade gifts can really be the best ones. I have always enjoyed cards and crafts my kids make me, but I’ll never forget how excited my daughter was when I made her a card to go with her small gift for preschool graduation because I’d forgotten to buy one. She thought it was so awesome that her mom sat down with construction paper and made one for her. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate craft (unless that’s your thing, then go for it!). Just a little something can go a long way.

10. Say thank you.

This seems too obvious, but I’m thinking of saying thank you for all the small things that we expect our families to do and don’t often comment on. Thank you husband for taking out the trash. Thank your kids for putting their clothes in the hamper. Everyone loves to be appreciated!

Never want to miss any Families with Grace content? Sign up for our mailing list and receive a FREE tip sheet on 10 ways you can start living as a family with grace right now! It’s chock-full of good, practical ideas to help bring peace to your home. Don’t miss out! Go here now!

5 tips to keep your marriage strong with a newborn

Advice for your marriage with a newborn

When our daughter was born in October of 2009, my husband and I been married for just over 10 years. We’d weathered lots of life’s storms together including chronic illness, extended family health scares, death, job loss and financial devastation. Through it all, we remained a team, ready to take on life’s challenges together. We strove to work together and not against one another. We hadn’t, however, navigated marriage with a newborn.

Nothing prepared us for parenthood. My husband and I knew it would be hard. We weren’t young. We weren’t naive, but it was way harder than we expected. I’ve yet to meet a new parent who said otherwise. It’s sort of a total system shock. While becoming a first-time parent is a great and exciting event, it’s also highly stressful — especially when you figure in the hormones, the sheer exhaustion and the total upheaval as life as you knew it.

We learned some lessons the first time around with a newborn. So when we had our son in January 2013, we were able to better adjust. Both of my babies were completely different kinds of babies. They are still different. But these tips, which I first wrote just before our son was born, helped keep our marriage with a newborn strong both times.

1. Don’t keep score. 

In the early months of our daughter’s life, I kept a mental score of who did more. It was me — always. After all, I was the one who got up with her all night, I was the one who was pumping for her around the clock, I was the one whose body was still healing and on and on and on the list could go. However, I was failing to notice the things my husband was doing. He was waking up at night, too. After working long days that involved a three-hour total commute, he’d come home and take over so I could snooze. He was changing diapers. We both did a lot. 

I realized I resented him as he slept while I sat in a dark living room pumping more milk after having changed, fed and gotten the baby back to sleep. I have lots of reasons why I felt this way (hormones, exhaustion, etc.), but none of them justified it and it was hurting my relationship in silence (well, mostly in silence save for a few bursts of passive aggressiveness — a trait I work to stifle because it’s hurtful).

Once I got over myself and realized keeping score was only making things worse, I was able to accept my new role as a mother and milk provider and appreciate the things my husband was doing. I realized sometimes he did more and sometimes I did more. As long as we were both making an effort to do the best we could, I couldn’t complain. Keeping score only makes things worse for your marriage with a newborn.

2. Let each other express emotions freely, without judgment. 

When you’re exhausted and dealing with a baby who isn’t cooperating, sometimes you’re just plain angry at your squalling bundle of joy. It’s neither rational nor reasonable. But, it happens. Being able to share that with your partner and have them understand, take over if necessary and not judge you helps you move on and move past it.

I struggled a lot in the early days with my daughter. I thought I was failing her and wasn’t cut out to be a mother. My husband never judged me. He supported me, encouraged me and helped me move past it. I whined and cried about being tied to a breast pump and never being able to have a normal life again, and he was patient to encourage and support me.

When I was weary from our son not sleeping at night for the first three months, my husband left me a note to find in the middle of the night. It reminded me I wasn’t alone and could wake him up if I got overwhelmed. 

3. Take time for each other. 

I’m not talking big, elaborate dates. Some of our best times in those first couple of weeks after our daughter was born were when one set of our parents would come over and watch the baby for a couple of hours so we could rest. We’d head straight to bed, set the timer so we didn’t sleep for 18 hours straight like we felt like doing and snuggle in for a nap together.

We didn’t have compelling conversations about being new parents. We didn’t whisper sweet nothings in each others’ ears. Instead we just enjoyed rest together. As time went on, we carved out time for more like quick dinners at fast food restaurants without a baby in tow. No matter what, though, making time for one another is important for your marriage with a newborn.

4. Accept help from the outside. 

This goes along with number three. It’s hard to make time for each other when you’ve got a baby demanding help and attention so often. Add in that during times the baby sleeps you have to deal with things like laundry, pumping, showering, sleeping and eating, and there’s very little time or energy left for much else. Having help from others is fine. Maybe it’s a friend who will come and hold the baby for a while. Or maybe you have retired parents around who love to snuggle with their grandbabies.

Whatever the case, it’s OK to ask for outside help. In fact, I’d say it’s even necessary for your own sanity and the sake of your relationship. Asking for help doesn’t mean you aren’t good parents or can’t handle having a baby. It just means you’re human, recognize you sometimes need a break and understand you need to stay connected to your spouse to stay sane through this journey.

5. Always be compassionate and respectful.

Sometimes in order to be compassionate with our spouse, we have to remember that it’s not all about us. Our spouses are people, too, with their own wants and needs. Remaining compassionate when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed is hard.

But remember your spouse is just as exhausted and overwhelmed, and sometimes he needs you to give him some grace and vice versa. Both of you will mess up. Both of you will get short with the other and need them to just drop it and understand you’re coming from a place of exhaustion, not anger.

That said, being respectful to each other is key as well. Sometimes people are kinder to complete strangers than their own spouses. Not cool. You can never take back words once they have been said. You can apologize, but the words have left their mark. Try to remember that when the baby is crying, you’ve been up for 19 hours and you just realized you’re out of clean sleepers because your spouse forgot to do the laundry like he said he would.

(And, because my husband reads my blog, I must point out I made up this last scenario. I don’t think it happened to us, but I couldn’t think of an actual example, though I know these types of things happened.) You’re both doing your best.

Parenthood isn’t easy. The newborn days are rough. They’re hard on each person and relationship. At the end of the day (even when that’s 2 a.m.), the important thing is that you have this new, tiny life that came from the two of you. It’s awe-inspiring and overwhelming at once.

And, as someone whose youngest baby is turning 6 in a couple of months, I can assure you that the newborn days do pass and pass quickly and one day you’ll be able to sleep again.

Surviving a season of waiting

What I learned about God’s faithfulness in the nine years it took to sell my house

Seasons of waiting are hard. About 10 years ago, we were selling our house to move about an hour away to the bigger city where my husband’s office was. I was also pregnant with our first baby, so we had a bit of a deadline.

First we had our house for sale by owner and sold it. Then the buyer backed out. We decided to list with a realtor. We told the house again. And again the buyer backed out.

Surviving a season of waiting

We were beyond discouraged. I especially struggled with it because I have anxiety issues and the added pregnancy hormones didn’t help. We even ended up in small claims court a few months later with one of the buyers over earnest money. It was ridiculous.

Of course, people criticized my home throughout the process, because that’s how selling a house, especially one built in 1960, works. I was discouraged and beaten down. I didn’t understand why God not only shut the door once, but twice and then slammed it shut extra hard for good effort. Why were we having to stay put and make my husband drive 75 minutes away (one way) each day while dealing with a newborn? It wasn’t fair!

Finding a new focus

As time went by, I realized that I needed to let it go. And I needed to change my thoughts, because they were starting to consume me. I worked to shift from thinking about how discouraging it was to make myself pray, “God, thank you for keeping us where we need to be.”

Soon I meant it, because that was the other thing. I really DID believe in my head that He had shut the door on our move for a purpose. My heart was just struggling to get there.

Eventually, it got better, but I still had a bit of real estate PTSD. As time passed, we decided to just stay put and not move out of town. My husband got to work from home more often, we had a second baby and I had some new health struggles. We also loved being in the same city with both sets of our parents. I really was grateful to still be in our house.

But, I still had that little voice in my head telling me that I’d just always live in that house. Going through getting my hopes up for moving again just didn’t seem worth it. I told my husband that I would live in that house until I died unless God dragged out of there by force. (I can be a bit dramatic…)

Moving forward

So at the beginning of 2015 when my husband suggested we go and talk with a local builder about possibly building a house in the school district where we wanted our kids to go, I laughed.

Just like Sarah with Abraham when he told her that she’d have a baby in her advanced years, I didn’t believe it. I told my husband I couldn’t get my hopes up and be disappointed again. Throughout the years, I had made peace with our house and I didn’t want that peace ruined again. I didn’t think I could handle more disappointment.

We talked with the builder. We ran numbers and, despite all my hesitation, we decided to move forward with selling our house. This time we weren’t looking to leave the city where we had grown up and both of our sets of parents live. Instead, we found a location closer to the interstate for my husband’s commute. We also liked the school district.

Jeremiah 29:11

I did a lot of praying and talking with God. Finally, I had a peace and a glimmer of hope. I felt like God was confirming the move and promising me that I would one day live in that new house.

So, we organized our house and again put it up for sale by owner near the end of March 2015. A few people showed interest, but as time went by and life got more hectic, we listed with a realtor in May.

We signed a contract for six months, which would take us up until the beginning of December. I wasn’t all that worried, because God had promised me He was on it. However, I also wasn’t incredibly hopeful that our house would sell. I just made peace that no matter what happened, I’d leave it in God’s hands and be OK with it.

Waiting some more

In that entire time from March until December we had zero offers. Nada. None. We had some showings. We had open houses. And we had no interest. We decided to take a break for Christmas. We intended to put the house back on the market in the spring of 2016, but life got in the way. I had more health struggles. Life was just challenging. In the back of my head, I remembered God’s promise, but I didn’t fully believe it any more. 

Then came 2017 and as the months passed, my husband pushed me into listing the house again. As I prayed about it, God reminded me that when He makes promises, He doesn’t break them, so I needed to move forward in faith.

We made a few more changes and updates. We rented a storage unit and moved out some furniture. I knew from the beginning that we needed a realtor and I had one in mind who had followed up with us time and again. So when we were ready, I called him.

Moving forward — again

We got the house on the market in July. At the end of August, I had surgery with a specialist about five hours from our home. We left the house ready to show. Sure enough, the day after my surgery, just after we checked out of the hospital and headed to our hotel, our realtor called with an offer.

Surviving a season of waiting

Overwhelmed, we ran the numbers. It was a good offer. We accepted it, but also accepted that the buyer wanted possession at closing in 30 days. We weren’t sure how that would happen since I couldn’t lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for a couple of months, but we trusted it would work out.

I felt peace about it all. The buyer’s last name was Buckles, which was the name of our dog who passed away in the middle of the house selling business back in May of 2016. I knew God gave me that as an extra sign we were doing the right thing.

With help from our family and friends we got packed and moved out within a month. Most of our stuff went to storage. Some went with us to my parents’ house. We lived with them for six months before being able to move into our new home in April of 2018.

Reflecting on the process

It was a nine-year process to get to this house. This house certainly isn’t what I thought I’d have when we started the process. It wasn’t where I thought we’d live. I hadn’t dreamed of living here. And yet, it is perfect. It isn’t a mansion, but I don’t need a mansion. I call it my dream home, because it is.

Our new home is better than anything I had imagined. It fits our family and needs well. The location is terrific. And the school system is a bonus we didn’t even need because our daughter got into an excellent school through the local university that allowed our son to go there as well when he started kindergarten. 

It was a long wait, and I wasn’t good at being patient. I’d love to say I knew all along when God kept closing the doors that He had something better in store. My head knew it, but my heart didn’t feel it. I felt discouraged and downtrodden so often throughout the entire process. More than once I was ready to give up and not dare hope or dream for more. I didn’t see where I was going.

Had I been an Israelite wandering through the desert for 40 years with Moses, I’d have been on the Committee of Complaints and Doubts.

Surviving a season of waiting

But, you know what? God showed up. God knew exactly where He was leading us. He knew what would be best for our family before we could even begin to think of it. He knew.

I’m left in my new house in awe, praising and trusting God! And I’m left marveling at His gifts, which are truly beyond what I deserve. I am thankful for His grace and mercy.

God’s faithfulness and goodness

I share this long story because I want to encourage you if you are in a season of waiting where you’ve been praying, waiting and spinning your wheels. Even when we know waiting is God’s will, it can be so very hard.

I have another much, much more serious situation that I’m waiting for an answer to. It’s been going on since the beginning of 2015, and so far we don’t have an answer, but I trust God has a plan. He always does even when we can’t see it. He has a plan even when we whine and grouse because it doesn’t look like we thought it would. 

My friend, if you are in a season of waiting right now, know that God hasn’t forgotten you. He isn’t hanging you out to dry or leaving you flailing in the wind. God is with you and He is working in ways you can’t even imagine. He does have plans for you and hope for your future (see Jeremiah 29:11). Our Father has plans for your good and not your decimation. He is there, my friend. Just keep hanging on and watching for Him. 

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Easy slow cooker potato soup

Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

When my husband and I got married 19 years ago, we got two slow cookers. One came in a carrying case. The other was stainless and could double as a deep fryer. I kept both. I didn’t use either one for many years.

A few years ago, I got out the stainless one and used it a few times to make cheese dip. Once I tried making a pasta dish that turned out so horribly we ate frozen pizza. Then four years ago, I came across a recipe for potato soup and decided to give it a try. It was a hit with my family and quickly became my daughter’s favorite thing I make. 

Last fall, we moved and since we had to put all of our belongings in storage for six months, I decided to get rid of my stainless slow cooker. It was OK, but it was hot to touch on the outside, didn’t have a removable bowl and was hard to clean. I knew I had the other one in the attic that had a carrying case, so I wasn’t worried. 

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I decided to get out the slow cooker that had been moved into the cabinets of my new kitchen. I was going to make nacho grande soup (another favorite) and make sure it worked well. I had also signed up to take potato soup into a carry-in at church later in the month. I opened the box (for the first time in 19 years, mind you!). I pulled it out and found that it was a slow cooker, but it was quite small. Ack! It fit my nacho grande soup, but I knew it wouldn’t be big enough for the potato soup.

So I went on a mission to find a new slow cooker. I didn’t want to spend a huge amount of money because I don’t use my slow cooker a huge amount. I just knew I wanted the interior bowl to be removable for easier cleaning, have a strap for easy travel and maybe be red to match my beloved stand mixer. I opted for a 6-quart oval Crock Pot brand slow cooker.

My beautiful new Crock Pot all ready to be used on my kitchen counter. I’m in love!

This past weekend, I did indeed use it to make potato soup for the church carry-in and found that this one would actually fit a double-batch of this soup. While a double-batch would be way too much for my family of four (we have some leftovers with a single-batch), doubling up would be easy enough for large gatherings.

I’m loving my new slow cooker. And I love this potato soup recipe. It really is my favorite of all-time. It is simple, it is easy and it is so yummy. Its ingredients are easy on the pocketbook and without using heavy cream, it’s relatively low-fat as well. It’s ideal for busy nights this fall!

It starts with frozen hash browns — and that means no peeling potatoes for hours on end. Open the bag, and dump them in! I usually get the southern style, which are little square cubes.

Frozen hash browns make this recipe so easy!

Next, you add in 28 ounces of chicken broth, which you can get in two 14-ounce cans or measure out 3-1/2 cups from a box of chicken broth. I usually use low sodium, but I’ve also used regular chicken broth. It tastes fine both ways. Along with the chicken broth, add in a can of cream of potato soup. If your grocery store is out of it, you can substitute cream of chicken soup with no issue. Top it off with some black pepper and stir.

This is how it looks as you start to cook. It will thicken a bit as it cooks and the potatoes soften.

Cook it on low for five hours. At around hour four, soften the cream cheese. I usually get it to the point of being almost creamy. Stir it into the soup and continue to cook on low for another 45 minutes to an hour. Serve it up topped with shredded cheese and bacon bits. We love to have a total carb fest and eat it with french bread!I’ve served six adults and two small children with this recipe before. If you need much more, I do think it would double well with a large enough slow cooker. If you do have leftovers, just store them in the fridge. This soup reheats incredibly well. My daughter always wants to have leftovers so she can take it for her lunch. My mom has frozen it before with good luck, but I’ve never had enough left that my daughter would let me think of doing that!

Slow cooker potato soup

Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 5 hours 45 minutes
Total Time 5 hours 55 minutes
Servings 8 -12 servings

Ingredients
  

  • 1 30 oz. bag frozen hash-brown potatoes (I use the squared, southern style)
  • 2 14 oz. cans chicken broth (regular or low-sodium)
  • 1 10.75 oz. can cream of potato soup
  • 1/3 tsp. ground black pepper
  • 1 8 oz. block cream cheese (very softened)

Instructions
 

  • In a slow cooker, combine potatoes, broth, soup and pepper. (Honestly, I don’t usually measure the pepper. I just do a few turns on the pepper grinder and call it good.)
  • Cover, and cook on low for 4 hours.
  • Stir in cream cheese, cook 45 minutes, stirring occasionally, until combined.
  • Top each bowl with shredded cheese and bacon bits, and enjoy!

The power of music

I grew up with a mom who loves music. She still does. As a kid, I’d hear her singing around the house all the time. She never played an instrument, but her love of music translated into my life and I learned to play three instruments. I competed with two of them throughout middle and high school and continued into college as well. While I don’t get to play instruments nearly so much these days, I still love music.

Music makes such an impact on my life that I am careful what I listen to. A few years ago, I switched to listening to a Christian radio station, and I feel it’s so important that I include that as one of my 10 ways to start living a life filled with grace. (You can get all 10 ways in a handy tip sheet by signing up for the Families with Grace email list!) I am always listening to music and the music I’m listening to influences so much of our lives, including the way we speak to one another in our family. Who can yell at someone over something small when music is blaring about how much God loves us?

Last Friday afternoon, I was reminded, yet again, of the power of music. I was driving to pick up my children from school. It had been a long week. My husband was out of town for a few days, which is very rare for us, I had a few nights in a row of minimal sleep and I was just not feeling great emotionally with some other things going on as well. Add in that I’m also still working through grief over losing my uncle a couple of weeks ago, and it was a perfect storm for melancholy. 

I was talking myself into remembering I couldn’t start crying and be a swollen, lobster-faced mom at school pick-up or I’d freak out my kids (and probably the other parents!) when the radio started playing David Crowder*Band’s “He Loves Us.” Soon I was singing along. And God gently prodded my heart with a reminder that sometimes what I need to dwell on most is who He is. I don’t need to stress and fret over things beyond my control. I don’t need to have all the answers to all the problems in my life. Sometimes I just need to bask in the fact that God loves me. He LOVES me, even when I mess up and fall short. HE loves ME! Oh, how He loves me! We must cling to God’s love and promises most when life leaves us downtrodden and feeling dismal. And so many times a song heard at just the right time can remind me of these things. That’s the power of music. It can take a dreary Friday afternoon and turn it into a time of praise and provide a balm for an aching heart.

And this example is just one of thousands I can give you from throughout my lifetime. God often speaks to me through music. Other times I have used music to be a great stress reliever. Still other times it has kept me motivated to keep working while I clean my house. I even have a specific soundtrack that I most often listen to when I’m spending an afternoon writing or working on an intense project. 

Music is powerful and strong and can make such an impact on our lives. What are some of your favorite songs from the soundtrack of your life?

You can now find Families with Grace on Spotify! I’ve put together a play list of all sorts of great contemporary Christian songs both old and new to uplift and encourage you as you create homes filled with grace, love and faith. Check it out and follow the playlist!

Never want to miss any Families with Grace content? Sign up for our mailing list and receive a FREE tip sheet on 10 ways you can start living as a family with grace right now! It’s chock-full of good, practical ideas to help bring peace to your home. Don’t miss out! Go here now!

House cleaning tips from a slob

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When my house is a mess, I feel guilty. And when I feel guilty, I get grumpy. And when I get grumpy, I’m more inclined to snap at my family for small things. The other option is that I spiral into a pit of self-pity and sadness that I’m not better at cleaning my house. I feel more pressure than my husband to keep our house clean and more embarrassment when it isn’t. I interpret our messy house as my own personal failure.

You’d think that would make me an excellent housekeeper. But it doesn’t. Instead of doing something about it, many times I just beat myself up. I have had literally years at a time where I couldn’t do better for a variety of reasons and still berated myself over it.

However, I have recently learned some things, and as a reforming slob, I’m going to share them with you in case you aren’t one of those rare folks who love to clean. I don’t offer a detailed cleaning plan. I’ve tried those, and they stress me out and make me feel worse about all that I’m NOT doing. Instead, I’m offering real-life tips that have helped my family. 

In order to get where I’m coming from right now, you need to know where I’ve been. I grew up as the youngest of two children. I have one older brother. My mom has always loved to clean. (I know. It’s weird to me, too.) She comes from a long line of women who keep immaculate homes. When my grandma was younger, she would vacuum under her furniture weekly. Weekly. I’m talking under armchairs and recliners. Growing up, I had some chores to do around the house, but my mom did most of the cleaning. She was good at it, and she liked it. When I got married at age 20 in the middle of my college years, my husband and I worked together to clean our small college apartment. It wasn’t always straightened up, but we did an OK job cleaning the bathroom and kitchen and such. In our second apartment, we continued. Our biggest cleaning strategy was to do it all at once, usually on a Saturday morning.

When we moved into our first home, though, we went doubled in square feet. Cleaning certainly took more at that point, but we still did OK with cleaning everything at once. It got a bit more challenging because my chronic bladder condition flared for a couple of years straight and kept me from being able to be on my feet for long periods of time, but we made it work.

Ten years into our marriage, we had our first child. Suddenly spending two or three hours cleaning the whole house was almost impossible. I did well to keep myself clean, let alone the house. I didn’t have a great strategy. As time went on, we had a second child and I had more health issues that left me choosing between being able to take care of the kids or clean the house well. Since I had to keep the kids alive, I chose them. Between 2011 and 2017, I had three major surgeries, a minor one, a second baby, shingles and more. Cleaning? Ha!

Then last fall, we moved in with my parents. We had sold our house and were building a new one, but we had about six months in between the two and needed somewhere to stay. I’d just had another surgery. I decided to take the time to learn from my mom, the cleaning guru, while I was living with her. And I did learn a few things that have helped me tremendously. When I last lived with my parents, I was 18 or younger or only home on college breaks. I didn’t pay a bit of attention to how my mom managed her house cleaning. This time, though, I determined I would. I felt motivated because I was getting a fresh start that not everyone gets. I was moving into a new house that was starting clean, and I was determined to keep it that way.

I noticed a few things about my mom that helped me. Since we moved into our new house in April, I have managed so far to do a decent job. I’m not going to pretend that I’ve suddenly become the best housekeeper in the world or that I’m not still a bit of a slob. We still have boxes to unpack. We haven’t decorated much. We still have clutter, though we’ve done our best to purge and eliminate.

Employ the ABC method: Always Be Cleaning
One of my best tips from my mom is ABC — Always Be Cleaning. That might sound like a nightmare to you, because it certainly would have to the me of a couple years ago. But, hear me out. My mom’s strategy is to clean as she goes so there isn’t a big mess to deal with later. It sounds simple, and it really is. Like when she finishes washing dishes, she takes an extra 60 seconds and wipes down her kitchen sink. She brings in the mail and deals with it instead of tossing it on her countertop. She wipes down her bathroom counter with a cleaning wipe after she finishes getting ready. I’ve learned a lot of these tasks take a short amount of time. Seriously in 30 seconds, I can do a quick wipe of my bathroom countertop. I can unload the dishwasher in less than 5 minutes.

Keep cleaning supplies handy
If you’re going to always be cleaning, then you need cleaning supplies where you use them. My mom stores cleaning products under each bathroom sink and her kitchen sink. Moving into a two-story house, I knew myself and knew I’d either forget to bring cleaning supplies up or down the stairs or find it easy to procrastinate if they weren’t in easy reach. So I bought enough for each location. Each bathroom has wipes and toilet bowl cleaner. I do share Windex between them. The kitchen sink has wipes and vinegar. I have a separate vinegar bottle for upstairs. I know this doesn’t sound ground-breaking to many people, perhaps. But it has made a difference for me. For example, earlier this week I realized that I hadn’t yet cleaned the half bathroom downstairs and needed to. On my stop by there before going to pick up the kids from school, I cleaned the toilet in a minute. Later I wiped down the sink. And those are the biggest areas that need weekly cleaning in there, so it worked well. If the supplies were even just around the corner in the pantry (a few steps away!), I know I wouldn’t have done that. And, quite honestly, I probably STILL wouldn’t have done it even now a couple of days later.

Cleaning isn’t all or nothing
Previously I’ve had the idea that if I can’t clean everything then I don’t even want to start. However, I have been timing myself on doing tasks and realize that in a few minutes, I can accomplish a lot. And the things that need cleaned most don’t take all that long. I can spend five minutes cleaning my bathroom and feel much better afterward. Yes, it still needs to be deep cleaned and floors mopped and such, but every little step counts. Finding hours to devote to any one task is difficult. Being able to physically spend hours cleaning my house is basically impossible nowadays. I’ve changed my mindset from doing it all or nothing to doing what I can when I can. Now I almost see it as a challenge to see how much I can get done in a set amount of time like 15 minutes. And I’ve been shocked at how much I really CAN do quickly. (I also find more motivation to clean or straighten up if I have a time limit. I can endure cleaning for 5 to 30 minutes!)

Embrace the right cleaning products 
I struggled with keeping my stainless steel sink clean at my old house. It had hard water stains no matter what I did. I tried different cleaning products to no avail. I just figured because my fibro arms don’t handle scrubbing hard that I’d not be able to maintain a sparkling clean sink. Then we stayed with my parents. My mom cleans her sink pretty much daily when she’s cooking. They went on a trip and while I cleaned it regularly, I still didn’t clean it daily. It started to get a build-up. Within a day of her being home I realized it was sparkling again. So I had to ask. Her newest secret cleaning weapon? Vinegar. I was a bit dubious. Then I tried it. Seriously, I put some vinegar on a paper towel, wiped just a bit and the spots were gone. Gone! It blew my mind. So now vinegar is one of my go-to cleaners that makes life way easier. Even better is that it’s cheap and non-toxic. Who knew?! It’s the whole work smarter, not harder concept in action.

Enlist help
This one doesn’t come from my mom but from my own experiences. In the time of our marriage, my physical health has taken a hit many times. And with chronic health conditions, there are still times it takes a beating and I can’t do things. So I have learned to ask for help and be willing to accept it. My kids now have their own bathroom. They’re required to clean it once a week. They divide the tasks. I gave them a lesson on exactly what I want them to do. I handle some things for them like cleaning the mirror, because they have trouble reaching it, cleaning the floors and cleaning the bathtub. None of those things need done weekly. But weekly they have to clean the sink and counter, clean the toilet inside and out, take out the trash and check the supply of toilet paper. No, they don’t clean as well as I do, but I do check in on their progress and have had them redo things. And it still is helping both me and them! One of these days they’ll have their own bathrooms to clean.

I also ask my husband for assistance with tasks I usually do when I need to. And even though he may fold towels differently than I do or clean in a different way, it’s still perfectly fine. In the end, everything gets done and that’s the goal. I will say I have also learned when to ask for outside help. My mom and my mother-in-law have helped with cleaning our house during times I was recovering from surgery and such. I had a friend say to me that she could never let someone else clean her bathroom and trust them to do it right. I can only say that when it’s your only choice because you physically can’t do it, then you certainly gain perspective and appreciation.

Don’t procrastinate 
I’m not usually a procrastinator by nature, but I can be very good at overlooking things that need to be taken care of or put away. Very good! I try to make sure that I’m putting things away when I’m finished with them. But in that mindset, I’m also trying to make sure that each item in our house has a home. If I get derailed from putting something away immediately, then I make a conscious effort to take care of it next time I come across it.

Along with putting things away, I try not to procrastinate when it comes to dishes and laundry. There are ALWAYS dishes and laundry. But, I’ve worked to simplify as much as I can. I have arranged my kitchen around my dishwasher. So the things I use most often are stored right above the dishwasher or within a couple of steps. I can empty the dishwasher in five minutes or less and usually make myself do it the next time I am working in the kitchen (which is quite often with kids!). I’ve also worked to be practical. My kids take their lunch to school everyday. I have enough lunch containers for two days worth of cold lunches for both kids (You can find my favorite ones here!). That gives me two days to wash the containers in the dishwasher instead of by hand, which saves me time. If I throw in a day of hot lunch in their hot Thermos, then that helps even more. Each of them have three drink Thermoses for the same reason. I don’t have to hand wash lunch supplies daily. It makes me more efficient and less grumpy, so it works.

And then there’s laundry. While I’m not as fast as my mom who folds and puts her away immediately, I definitely make an effort to deal with it in the same day. At my old house, the washer and dryer were in the garage. In this house, they are on the second story in the middle of the bedrooms, so that really helps. We have also taken advantage of the laundry room and keep two laundry baskets for dirty things at all times: one for darks and one for whites. I can easily see when a basket is full and a load of laundry need to be thrown in. It helps keep me from getting as overwhelmed with load after load of laundry all at once. Another bonus is that I have a set amount of laundry baskets and I have to make sure to keep laundry folded and put away so we can use the baskets as needed. (I do keep a spare one, though. I’m not THAT good!)

My handy husband also hung me a nice bar in the laundry room so I can hang up clothes straight from the dryer. If I hang up the pants and shirts for my husband and me, shirts for my daughter and some shirts for my son right away then I don’t have as much work to do with folding either.

Give yourself grace 
This is my final tip. No matter what systems I have in place, no matter how much progress I’ve made, I’m not perfect and I’m not going to be. Life is going to get in the way. My health will flare for a week. My kids will get sick. Things happen. I have learned to not beat myself up if I get out of routine and don’t clean my bathroom this week. It doesn’t mean I’m never going to get back on track. I will, and I do. Can I say that in the past I was just a total slob and wasn’t doing my best? No way. I really was doing my best. There are some seasons of life where it’s easier to clean than others. Having babies and toddlers make cleaning a huge challenge. Going through physical and/or mental struggles makes cleaning a huge challenge. Doing the best you can? Then it’s enough. Don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect or having the perfect home!

Here’s the thing: I’m never going to transform into someone who loves cleaning. (At least I will be shocked if I do!) I won’t ever keep as spotless of a house as my grandma or my mom. But, that’s OK. I try to be realistic in my goals and work for what makes my family and me the happiest. We are all happier when we have clean dishes and clothes. We are all happier when there aren’t piles of papers all over the table we have to clean off every time we want to eat a meal. We are all happier to go into a bathroom that smells fresh and doesn’t have weeks of build-up. However, my family life isn’t going to dissolve into chaos if I let clean dishes sit in the dishwasher for 24 hours or a load of towels stay in the dryer for a couple of days. I do my best, but I also remember my priorities. I don’t want to be so busy taking care of my family that I don’t remember to enjoy my family.

Take my tips and see if you can put them to work for you. What other tips do you have that make cleaning easier? I’d love to hear from you!

Never want to miss any Families with Grace content? Sign up for our mailing list and receive a FREE tip sheet on 10 ways you can start living as a family with grace right now! It’s chock-full of good, practical ideas to help bring peace to your home. Don’t miss out! Go here now!

5 cheap games for young children the whole family will love

Family game night ideas for readers and non-readers alike!

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Family game night is one of our favorite activities around my house. Sometimes, however, it can be challenging to find games that all four of us like. Since our youngest kiddo is just in kindergarten and an early reader, we have to find games that don’t require much reading. Finding those games that are also fun for my husband and me along with our 9-year-old can be a challenge. While Candyland, for example, is a fun game with a little one, it quickly grows boring for older children and adults.

But we have found a few games that work well for all four of us. These are games that require either no reading or minimal reading and are actually fun. Even better, all of them are under $20! In fact, only two are above $10 and the last two are less than $5. Go ahead, pop some popcorn and prepare for a fun family game night for all ages!

Toilet Trouble

My son received this game from a friend for his 5th birthday. We weren’t sure if it would be too messy or what we would think about it, but my kids fell in love with it. In fact, when I told them I was writing about our favorite family games, this is the first one they both named! It’s a simple game where you spin a roll of toilet paper to see how many times you have to flush a toilet that is filled with water. At random times the flush will make water squirt out of the toilet, in which case the player is eliminated. The last player standing is the winner. It’s completely random and not skill based, so age and experience really don’t matter one bit.

I suggest keeping a dish towel on hand to wipe off the spills that happen sometimes as little ones excitedly pass the toilet back and forth and wipe faces when they get sprayed, but it isn’t too messy to play inside or even at a dining room table that has carpet underneath. Our whole family has enjoyed this game, including my parents who have played it with us as well. My mom got such a kick out of it with my kids that she purchased it for my brother’s kids, too!

Rory’s Story Cubes

This one is fun and simple. It could be played almost anywhere. In fact, this is one that we tend to play in the living room. Each player gets a couple of six-sided dice that have different images on each side. At the beginning of a round, everyone rolls their dice. The first person begins a story based around one of the images they rolled. We usually start with the youngest and then rotate who starts the story from there. Each person builds on the story based on their images on the dice. 

The nice thing with this game is that it’s fun (and can get silly!) but doesn’t have a winner. It’s a cooperative effort for the whole family. It’s one of those games where you never have to try and soothe the hurt feeling of a loser, because there are no losers!

Family Feud Strikeout Card Game

This is based off of the television show. This one works better if you have a few more players, but you can play it with four players. If it’s just the four of us, we play more often cooperatively. But when we played it with my parents a few months ago, we teamed up three to a team. It does require a bit of reading, but it wasn’t an issue to my son. Since we were on teams, we helped him with the words and then he was able to come up with some good answers for the questions.

Hungry, Hungry Hippos

This one is a classic, but it really is still a hit with my family. I will say that my husband and I tire of this one before the kids do, but we get in a few good rounds with it and play some variations sometimes. There is one yellow ball for the hippos to eat and the rest are red. One version is that whoever gets the yellow ball wins, but that doesn’t go over quite so well with my kiddos. We have modified it so that the yellow ball is just worth 2 points instead of one. We also take turns on who gets to say “Go!” on this one to help keep it fair.

Go Fish

While you can play Go Fish with a regular deck of cards, there are all sorts of variations that make it more fun for little ones. Years ago, we found a version that was dinosaurs that my kids have enjoyed, but there are so many versions for whatever your family enjoys!

For example, there is a sea life version, an educational learn the alphabet version, a safari animal version that includes instructions for Old Maid as well and even a Bible version!

How I stopped being angry at my family

Overcoming anger at doing tasks nobody cares about or notices

Mom anger is an issue we don’t talk about often enough. I’ve felt it so many times, and I’m guessing you have, too. I’m talking about anger that starts building in you when you do a task that no one notices or has a clue about.

Why are you the ONLY one who sees the bathroom trash overflowing and takes it out?

Why are you the ONLY one who empties the dishwasher when the dishes are clean?

Why are you the ONLY one who remembers to stop by the grocery store and pick up bread to make lunches for the next day?

Why are you the ONLY one who remembered to sign the kids’ permission slips and put them in their backpacks?

Why are you the ONLY one who seems to be able to remember to put dirty socks in the hamper?

Where mom anger comes from

Moms have this whole running list in their heads at all times. I’d bet you could tell me right now how much milk/bread/cereal/whatever-staple-your-family-relies-on is in your pantry or fridge.

I can tell you that I just opened our last gallon of milk this morning. We have three slices of bread, so I need to buy more today. Our granola/cereal bars (my family’s other staple) are pretty well stocked right now.

I also know the level of fullness for each trashcan in my house at pretty much any given time. I have a list in my head to know what laundry needs to be done. And I know I need to return our library books due tomorrow.

My husband doesn’t know these things. My kids don’t know these things. They don’t have to know these things, because I do and I take care of them. Will they help when I ask them to? Yes, usually. But they don’t have that running list in their heads.

And they also don’t have the anger that sometimes comes along with it. Just this morning, I was doing some household chores before coming into the home office to work. My husband went straight to the office to start work after taking the kids to school. He didn’t make a stop-off for household chores, because his job is much more demanding than mine. His paycheck is also our primary source of income. The workday starts for him promptly at 8 a.m. Mine is more flexible by far.

HOWEVER, even though my head knows these things sometimes I trip up. I get that little voice being like, “Why is it always you who thinks to change the sheets?” Or I start resenting that he can just go to work without having these chores hanging over his head. None of that is a recipe for a peaceful, loving, grace-filled marriage. It’s a recipe for building resentment and anger.

Shifting my perspective

Because when I stop to really think about it, I can flip the perspective. My husband could easily wonder why he has to take the kids to school while I’m home in my PJs. (In my defense, this is the first year that’s happened. Instead I take over all kid-care duties before school.)

Or as he heads into the office to work while I head upstairs to do some household chores, he could wonder why he has to be the one who makes the primary income. 

I thought about these things this morning as I was doing chores that no one will notice or thank me for. I realized I was feeling sorry for myself that nobody says thank you each time I do a task to keep our household running smoothly. And I was feeling angry that nobody would think to do some of these tasks, let alone thank me for them. I kept thinking (because what else is there to do when you are wiping down counters and toilets?!). I asked myself WHY I was cleaning.

Once I got past the dramatic and sarcastic responses like “Because if I don’t then nobody will and we’ll all get horrible germs and die?” or “Because I’m just living the dream over here,” I found my answer. Every household chore I do, I do because it serves the people I love. The real reason I’m cleaning bathrooms, changing sheets and doing laundry is because that’s what the people I love need me to do.

Some of them are too young to do some of these tasks themselves. Some of them are too busy earning an income for our family. And this really is what I signed up for.

Letting go of the anger

When I’m doing tasks out of love, suddenly my anger dissipates. When I’m washing lunchbox containers, meal planning, grocery shopping, bagging up trash, folding laundry or making food, I’m doing it because I have been blessed with people to love and take care of. Why in the world do I let myself harbor mom anger about that?

Yet, I do sometimes find myself getting angry about those things. I need a reminder. I need perspective. Most of all, I need to remember that it’s not about me. If I wanted thanks and accolades from my family, then I could easily feed my kids dessert for dinner and get plenty of thanks. But what I want is my family to be taken care of. If it’s in my power to do so, then I should do so without anger at them. So many times I have thanked God for my husband and my children. How dare I get angry at taking care of them?

So each time I start to feel that mom anger creep in again, I think about these things. BUT, I also want to be clear that just because I CAN do things to take care of my family doesn’t mean that I HAVE to do everything. My husband and I still talk about household chores and how we are dividing them.

My children still have responsibilities and chores they are required to do according to their age. And they each also pitch in and help me with the chores I usually do when I don’t feel well thanks to my chronic health issues. (Yes, these very same sweet, loving, compassionate folks are the ones I sometimes get angry with…) 

I also still do justifiably get irritated or angry with my family sometimes when they don’t listen to me or do what I asked them to do without a good reason. Though I try to listen and give grace, sometimes my kids are testing limits or giving me an attitude that just isn’t acceptable.

I am working, though, to make sure I don’t harbor an attitude of resentment and anger toward my husband or children simply for existing and needing things from me. Above all, I want to do everything I do for my family out of love for them and not out of an angry feeling of obligation. It’s not always easy. And I totally mess up sometimes. But many other times, I wash another load of laundry or scrub another toilet without a second thought because it’s what my loved ones need.