Posts in the Parenting category offer a realistic and honest look at parenting from a Biblical perspective. You’ll find helpful, practical, funny and encouraging topics for Christian moms.
You can find content specifically for the following age groups:
Take your family on a fun, food truck adventure with God!
Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.I was given a free copy of the book “The Bible Food Truck” to review; all opinions are my own.
I love food, God and books. Something that combines all three makes this mama happy! “The Bible Food Truck” by Vanessa Myers does just that. I’m excited to not only be part of the blog tour promoting this, but to also review the book and give away a copy! Super exciting stuff!
I first connected with Vanessa through a Christian blogger group back in 2019 when I shared about her family devotion book, “Breakfast with Jesus.” This time I am partnering with her again to tell you about her latest family devotion book, “The Bible Food Truck.” She sent me a copy of the book for me to peruse ahead of time and it’s pretty great.
The theme
“The Bible Food Truck” serves up 75 food-themed devotions for kids. Myers said when she started putting the book together, she had no idea how many Bible verses talked about food! While she didn’t cover them all, the book works its way from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Each devotion has a focus verse, called “God’s Daily Special,” that talks about food.
The devotions are done well for families. Food might be the underlying theme, but God is the overall focus. And that’s just what a family devotion book should be.
Devotion details
Each devotion has a focus verse and also suggested further reading in the Bible. Then “The Bible Food Truck” talks about the passage in a fun, child-centered way. Myers gives facts and information kids will love while also bringing the focus always around to God. The devotions are a good length — neither too short nor too long.
A “Faith To-Go” section is part of each devotion as well. I love these practical suggestions for ways kids can serve God, tell others about Him and grow in their faith.
As a mom of two and long-time children’s ministry director, Myers knows children learn well being hands-on. So throughout “The Bible Food Truck,” children complete various tasks to create their own food truck idea by the time they make it to the end. They think about what they’d serve, to whom, the name of their food truck, the Bible verse to represent their food truck, what their logo would be and much more. It’s a fun and creative way to get kids involved and excited.
Get your own copy
Whether you want to go through “The Bible Food Truck” as a family or let an older child go through it solo, you’ll want to pick up your own copy. The book is for sale exclusively on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback formats. Bulk pricing options are also available for children’s ministry groups.
You can also enter for a chance to win your own copy of “The Bible Food Truck” now through 12 a.m. EST on April 5, 2022. I know! It’s exciting!
To enter, you MUST “like and follow” Families with Grace on Facebook. You can earn up to two extra entries by following Families with Grace on Pinterest and signing up for the Families with Grace email list. You don’t have to be new to Families with Grace to qualify. Just complete the form.
I will announce the winner on Facebook and Instagram on April 5, 2022 at 2 p.m. EST. The winner will receive the book through postal mail. It is open to residents of the United States only. Enter here or scroll down and click the button to enter through the Rafflecopter website.
Vanessa Myers is passionate about teaching God’s Word to children. She loves writing books for kids as well as blogging about children’s ministry. Her website has more information about her, including links to other resources from her, that are designed to equip families on their faith journeys.
Low-key toddler activities for when you need a break
Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
I wrote this post about toddler activities at home back in 2012 when I was pregnant with my second child, feeling miserable and figuring out how to best entertain my toddler. Some of these activities we still enjoy and use even now! These low-key toddler activities will help you stay sane and maybe even allow you a bit of downtime.
My kiddo has lots of energy. She has a lot more energy than I do. This is especially true when I’m not feeling well or didn’t get enough sleep or whatever. I totally admit there are times when letting her watch an extra episode of Doc McStuffins, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Jake and the Neverland Pirates is easier because I’m tired or have things to do.
I’m not a fan of that. I don’t have a problem with her watching some age-appropriate television. She’s learned many things, in fact, but I certainly don’t want to just park her in front of the television on days I’m not feeling well.
Combining that thought with my love for lists and I decided to make a list for myself of low-key activities that don’t require much energy from me, would be fun for her, would maybe be educational for her and would be a great way to spend time together. I had a few ideas. Then I turned to some mom friends online and got some even better ideas. These ladies are seriously creative and smart.
These low-key toddler activities at home are perfect for times when you’re exhausted or sick or you can’t go outside and play. The best part is most are cheap or free and none of them require much more from mom than to sit or lie down. (I’ve included links for products to show you some of our favorites, but you can easily work with what you have!)
Low-key toddler activities at home
1. Coloring with crayons and coloring book pages. Check out this 13-piece set from Crayola that has crayons and 12 toddler coloring books. Or you can print free coloring pages from a variety of web sites.
2. Coloring with Color Wonder markers. I love these because your kiddos get to use markers without possibly making a mess. The markers only mark on the special Color Wonder paper. Clearly this was invented by the parent of a toddler! This Nursery Rhyme Color Wonder set is a great starting place.
3. Blowing bubbles. We do bubbles outside together with a bubble machine, but I also blow bubbles inside for her.
4. Playing dollhouse. If you don’t have a dollhouse, then find another kind of pretend play with toys like Fisher-Price Little People, stuffed animals or whatever you have around.
5. Playing with busy bags. If you aren’t familiar with busy bags and you have a toddler, you need to be! These are awesome and portable ideas to keeps toddlers entertained and learning. I’ve done two exchanges of busy bags with other moms and they are some of my kiddo’s favorite things to play with. Go to Pinterest and search for “toddler busy bags” for all sorts of great ideas. Even as a non-crafty mom, I found quite a few that would work!
6. Doing puzzles. We’ve found our favorite puzzles at the Dollar Tree. Right now 24-piece puzzles work best for my kiddo.
7. Having a pretend picnic. Spread out a blanket, invite stuffed animals and chow down on pretend food (plastic or imaginary).
8. Playing with a baking sheet and magnets. Before vacation, I read that a baking sheet with magnets is good car entertainment. My kiddo loved playing with it more once we got there. I have magnets saved back specifically for the baking sheet. An added bonus of using alphabet and number magnets is it’s teaching her as well. Animal magnets are also fun for her. (Look for magnets with a full magnetic backing instead of small magnetics attached to avoid a potential choking hazard.)
9. Reading books. We love reading books together. Not only is reading to my daughter good for her brain and language development, it’s also great snuggle time! (Don’t miss this list of more than 100 children’s books worth reading!)
10. Playing with Princess Dominoes. Any dominoes work. We happen to have the Disney Princess ones. Sometimes we match up the princesses in a row like a domino game and every so often, we use them like building blocks.
Available in wildlife (shown), dinosaur, outer space and unicorn
11. Playing with Play-Doh.Play-Doh can be a bit messy, but if you are sitting with your kiddo and playing that helps keep the mess down. I also use Glad Press-n-Seal on the table (tape it down if it doesn’t stick well) for my kiddo to play on. It makes for easier clean up. Whether you use a Play-Doh set or just dough, it’s a fun activity that lets you sit down.
12. Building things with Legos or other building blocks. Right now this means making towers or rudimentary shapes; we’re not building fancy Lego models of any sort.
13. Drawing on her magnetic drawing board. Surprisingly, my daughter is impressed with my stick figures when she asks me to draw things like our family. I also use the magnetic drawing board to show her what her name looks like. She’ll often ask me to write other names. She now knows the first two letters of her name as a result. Of course, she also draws on it herself.
14. Cutting paper with safety scissors. I just bought some safety scissors for the kiddo along with a pad of construction paper. She’s not super great at cutting just yet, but she loved the idea of it. We laid on the living room floor for a good 45 minutes alternating between cutting the construction paper and drawing on it.
15. Playing under a blanket. Sometimes I sit on the floor and put a blanket over our heads. This tickles my toddler. It’s like we have our own clubhouse. Sometimes it turns into peek-a-boo, and sometimes we just play under there. She loves it. It tickles her even more when the dog joins us under the blanket.
Even more low-key toddler activities at home
16. Fill a dishpan with dry beans and give the kiddo cupcake pans, spoons, measuring cups, plastic Easter eggs, etc., to move the beans around. It’s not totally clean (you will have some beans on the floor), but it’s not bad and will keep the kiddo entertained for a while.
17. Playing with stickers. Buy some stickers, peel off the sticky part that surrounds the stickers (to make them easier for little fingers to remove) and give the kiddo a sheet of paper. Just keep an eye on your toddler to make sure the stickers go on the paper and not themselves, their baby brother or all over your house!
18. Playing with baby dolls. Pretend play is always a good thing. If you don’t have baby dolls or if you have a boy, then find something else similar to play with that you can take care of together. Playing house/real life is a great toddler activity!
19. Having a tea party. You don’t even have to serve real beverages or snacks (though you totally can). Just sit together and pretend to have a tea party or snack time.
20. Brushing the dog. The kiddo does like to help with this. The dog isn’t quite as sure, but he loves the treat she gives him afterward!
21. Painting finger or toenails. My kiddo isn’t allowed to have paint on her fingernails until she totally stops putting her thumb in her mouth (feel free to judge me), but I’m thinking of trying her toenails this summer.
22. Playing “beauty parlor.” Let the kiddo brush your hair, put clips in it, etc. You can do funny hairstyles for her, put makeup on her, etc. (My curly hair is a bit nervous about the potential tangles on this one, but I already do this a bit.)
23. Make sun prints. Use sunscreen to paint on a piece of dark colored construction paper, then put in the sun to dry for a few hours. The sunscreen will keep the paper from fading, but the areas without sunscreen will fade.
24. Playing nap for mommy. The kiddo came up with this game on her own a month or so ago. Now a couple of times a week she will pretend to tuck me in, give me a doll or stuffed animal to sleep with and want me to be quiet. She tells me to let her know if I need anything, so I have to pretend to need drinks of water every so often. It’s a pretty nice gig that she actually enjoys!
25. Playing doctor with a doctor’s kit. This happens all the time around here. If your toddler isn’t into doctor’s kits, you might let him/her watch an episode or two of Doc McStuffins. Sitting for a checkup is pretty easy, even when you’re not feeling well. My daughter also loves for us to hold her toys while she examines them.
26. Playing with tools. A friend lets her kids bring in a ride-on toy then they turn it upside down and sit on the floor with their play tools pretending to fix it. Pretty much any relatively large toy could use some sort of repair with a play toolkit! Plus many toddler toolkits come with things to work on as well.
27. Playing with paper or magnet dress-up dolls. Paper dolls can be a bit more fragile, so use your best judgment for them. We love magnetic dress-up dolls!
28. Playing with Mr. Potato Head. Sometimes a classic is a classic for a reason. Mr. and/or Mrs. Potato Head are fun toddler activities!
29. Playing with puppets. Whether you have hand puppets or finger puppets, you can have fun with them. We don’t get fancy or carried away with puppets. We just sit together and have our puppets interact with each other. Easy and fun!
30. Playing with a reusable sticker pad. The great thing about reusable sticker pads is that sticker fun continues for more than a few minutes. And you don’t have to worry about stickers getting put other places that are hard to remove.
Bonus tips for playing at home with toddlers
Consider heading to a local teacher supply store or learning tools store for great ideas. For example, a friend of mine found some awesome wipe-off boards and books with dry-erase crayons
And, finally, just change the scenery and play in different rooms in the house. One of my kiddo’s favorite places to play is our long bedroom hallway. Sometimes we go there to play and shake up our routine so we aren’t always playing in the living room.
How we prioritize the birth of Jesus and celebrate with Santa Claus
I originally wrote these words in December of 2013. My kids were 4 and almost 1 that Christmas. Now they are 12 and almost 9. We have had a conversation about Santa with our oldest who now enjoys sharing Santa with her little brother. Our Santa holidays are winding down, but I don’t regret them one bit. This post explains why.
Santa Claus. The jolly figure incites a variety of feelings in various folks. Some insist that they won’t let their kids believe in Santa. They contend that they won’t lie to their children or that Santa isn’t the reason for the season. Others insist that Santa is a huge part of their Christmas celebration and even as adults they believe in him to some degree.
Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
What Santa is like at our house
Around my house, my kids believe in Santa Claus. However, they also know the full truth of the Christmas season. Well, at least the 4-year-old does, but the baby will learn about Jesus’ birthday one of these days, too. The Santa that exists around here is one who brings some gifts on Christmas morning. He is one we go to visit at the mall and smile for a photo. He is one for whom we leave out cookies and milk. Our Santa is one who leaves a letter for the kiddos and sometimes sends a video message. And that’s pretty much our extent of celebrating with Santa.
We don’t threaten that if behavior isn’t good then he won’t bring gifts. We expect good behavior year-round just because that’s what is expected. Our children must learn obedience as simply the right thing to do. We have a trust relationship in that way. We won’t lead them astray if they follow our instructions. (That’s the theory, anyway. The practice is just that — practice!)
My history with Santa
My husband and I both grew up believing in Santa. I very distinctly remember finding out that he wasn’t real. My mom was drying my hair. I asked her if Santa really existed. I think she tried to change the subject, but I was as persistent with my questions then as a child as I am now as a journalist. She told me gently that he was pretend. It didn’t traumatize me at all. I just understood that I was old enough to know and be in on the other side of the fun secret. I understood the tradition of Santa as well. In fact, I continued to leave out milk and cookies for him into my teen years and quite enjoyed doing so.
One of my family’s traditions of Santa included a letter from him. I do remember noticing that his handwriting looked a lot like my mom’s the year before I found out the truth. (Thank goodness for computers! I now type the letters for my kiddos.) My mom was creative and I looked forward to those letters, even after I knew the truth.
The real meaning of Christmas
So, I will let my children continue to believe in Santa Claus as long as they can. While we didn’t really introduce Santa to my daughter from the start in a very tangible way, she learned about him and fell in love with him. But she also learned about Jesus’ birth and fell in love with Him. That’s the most important part. In our slew of Christmas books, the vast majority focus on the birth of Jesus. My daughter can tell you all about how Jesus was born in a manger because there was no room in the inn and that a bright star lead shepherds to find Him. For example, last week we were outside after dark and she saw a bright star. She thought that was the Star of David.
Even better to me, my child fully understands why the birth of Jesus is so great. We read the story of Jesus’ birth the other day. Then she turned to me and said, “Now let’s read the other story of when Jesus grows up and goes back up into heaven.” She gets it as much as a 4-year-old can get it. Believing in Santa and the fun that comes with that belief hasn’t impeded on her understanding the true meaning of Christmas.
We also very much enjoy the VeggieTales story of St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas, in whom Santa is rooted, is a testament to giving to those in need. That gives us a chance to talk about giving gifts as a celebration of Jesus’ birth. We talk about how Santa is good. After all, what I like most about Santa is his spirit. He has a spirit of kindness and generosity. He has a touch of magic with flying reindeer, laying his finger beside his nose and disappearing. And he has a spirit of fun and laughter with his jolly “Ho, ho, hos!” Santa offers a wonderment that enhances a Christmas season with little ones.
The future
One of these days, my children will learn the truth. We’ll talk about it. I’ll answer any questions they have and I will tell them some of these very things. I will tell them that the spirit of Santa is very real in spite of his lack of corporeal form. I’ll tell them that they are now old enough to be in on the secret and help share in the wonderment of the little ones that come after them. And we’ll continue any holiday traditions they enjoy. At the end of the conversation, they will still trust me. I am their mother. A trusting relationship is of the utmost importance to me.
Even by now, my almost 11-month-old knows he can trust me to take care of his needs. If he’s crying in his crib, he stops as soon as I enter the room. He’s learned I’m on it and will take care of him. Believing in Santa and later learning the truth isn’t going to change the innate trust and relationship we’ve built.
And so this year, my kiddos will believe in Santa Claus. I make no apologies for that and am not ashamed of that. I look forward to the excitement that will come in picking cookies to leave out for him and see what he’s brought come Christmas morning.
An update from the present (2021)
In the years since I first wrote this post, some things have changed. My kids have gotten older. When she was 10, my oldest had a few experiences that led her to believe maybe Santa wasn’t real. My husband and I took her out to dinner to her favorite restaurant and we chatted one-on-one.
She wasn’t devastated. Of course she had some questions, but she was fine about it. And she was super excited to help continue the spirit of Santa with her younger brother.
My youngest will be 9 in a couple of months. I know it won’t be much longer until we’ll have a similar conversation with him. We have had some great family memories made over these past few Christmases that I am thankful for.
A few years ago, we also introduced our version of Elf on the Shelf. Much like Santa, the elf isn’t about monitoring behavior in our family. He is about having some clean fun. (Check out “14 Ways we made Elf on the Shelf work for our family” for more info. You can also find some elf pose ideas and a free Santa letter printable.)
How we’ve kept Jesus the focus of Christmas
We have also worked to make sure that from the beginning our kids knew Christmas was more about celebrating the birth of Jesus. One of the first ways we did this was by reading a Bible verse or two a day from Dec. 1 through 25 that led through the birth of Jesus. Each night, we’d review what had happened in the story so far. (Check out “8 Simple Christmas traditions to bring your family closer” for more info on how we did the verses as well as free printable verses your family can use.)
The verse tradition has grown into a devotion time each evening in December. We started with “A Family Christmas, Volume 1” and are now moving on to “A Family Christmas, Volume 2.” Both books have 5-minutes daily devotions for Dec. 1 through 25 to go through the Christmas story.
A giveaway of a faith-based way for moms and daughters to connect
Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
A couple of years ago, my daughter and I discovered shared journals. We fell in love with the idea of being able to write back-and-forth to each other. It was a great way to connect, but we were disappointed that we couldn’t find one like us: a bit serious and a bit silly. So, we decided to create own. Thus the idea for “Connecting with Grace” was born.
And now “Connecting with Grace” is completed and ready just in time for the Christmas season!
What is a mother and daughter shared journal?
A mother and daughter shared journal is a journal that a mom and daughter both write in. Instead of all blank pages, however, the journal includes writing prompts and questions to get the conversation flowing. The mom and daughter then pass the journal back and forth to each other after they’ve written in it.
Lexi and I usually leave it on the other one’s bed for them to see it. We read what the other one wrote and then write as well. Sometimes we make comments specifically on what the other one wrote, but mostly we move on to the next prompt.
Mother and daughter journals can be a great way to connect without having to sit and talk face-to-face. It gives you a chance to think about your words before you write them. You can be more contemplative and honest. Though Lexi and I both enjoy writing, the benefit of a mother and daughter shared journal is that the writing prompts make sure we have something to talk about each time we write so we don’t get repetitive or somehow run out of things to say.
How “Connecting with Grace” is different
Faith is a big part of our lives, so we wanted to have a mother and daughter shared journal that included a faith component. But at the same time, we didn’t want something all serious, all the time. Because we are a mix of serious and silly. And sometimes we are seriously silly!
When we were working on “Connecting with Grace,” we wanted to make it something we would love and use. Most prompts include a Bible verse. A few have inspirational quotes instead. And each topic has a page for a mother and a page for a daughter. (If you have more than one daughter you want to do this with, you can always use “Connecting with Grace” with a separate journal or notebook as well.)
The 50 different prompts include topics like school, the Bible, relationships, friendships, womanhood and more. We also added in some blank journal pages throughout that you can use for whatever you most want to do. And there are five Q&A sections throughout to help you get to know each other even better.
Lexi and I know each other well, so we tried to come up with things that we didn’t actually know about each other. We worked well together in writing questions. For example, Lexi let me know when my questions sounded too much like a Sunday School teacher!
We also didn’t want to add pressure to busy schedules, so we didn’t date the journal in any way. That way you can complete on your own timeframe. We have written in ours daily sometimes and weekly other times. It really just depends on what’s going on in our lives.
Another component we really wanted to include was ideas for one-on-one time together. We’ve called them “Face-to-face with Grace” and included 10 of them throughout the book. Because while we love the idea of getting to share with one another through writing, we also think it’s important to be intentional about spending time together.
Where to buy “Connecting with Grace”
Right now “Connecting with Grace” is available on Amazon as a paperback for $12. It is part of Amazon Prime, so it will ship quickly and free to you if you are an Amazon Prime member. The journal is 8.5 x 11 inches so you have plenty of space to write. We went with white paper to make writing with any writing utensil easy to show up.
A chance to win a “Connecting with Grace” gift basket
We’re so excited to share “Connecting with Grace” with the world. So, we are doing a giveaway to get it into the hands of a lucky winner. And we’re adding in some other items for a perfect mother and daughter bonding gift basket!
(This giveaway is in no way sponsored by the makers of the products we are including in the gift basket along with our book.)
Along with a paperback copy of “Connecting with Grace,” the winner will also receive the following:
A set of 6 magnetic inspirational bookmarks to use for marking your page in “Connecting with Grace” and extras for any other book you’re reading.
A set of 4 glittery ink pens you can use to write in “Connecting with Grace.”
A box of Russel Stover chocolates to snack on while you’re journaling. (Or any other time, because there’s never a bad time for chocolate!)
A blank journal you can use to make additional notes, include a second (or more) daughter or even just to write your insights for “Connecting with Grace” in case you don’t want to write in the journal itself.
The giveaway starts at 12 a.m. EST on Nov. 2, 2021 and ends at 12 a.m. EST on Nov. 15, 2021. A winner will be randomly selected and, once confirmed that they fulfilled the mandatory guideline of “liking” Families with Grace on Facebook, will be announced on the Families with Grace Facebook page by 2 p.m. EST on Nov. 16, 2021.
What I want my daughter to know before her brother is born
I originally wrote these words two weeks before my son was born in January of 2013. I was preparing to become a mother of two. And I also tried to prepare my daughter for becoming a big sister. While we have grown and changed throughout these years, the message here remains the same.
As I get closer and closer to having our baby boy, I’ve been thinking about the things I want my daughter to know. I know that becoming a big sister will forever change her life. Because I am the youngest of two, I will never completely know her station in a family. I’ve never been an oldest sibling. I know my own older brother wasn’t too excited to have to share our parents with me when I was born, but I like to think he came around eventually.
Right now, my daughter is excited. She talks about the things she will teach Baby Brother. When my parents and in-laws were here painting his nursery just over a week ago, she sat at the kitchen table and painted him pictures to hang on his wall. With every stroke of her paintbrush, she talked about how he would love them. And he will one day. We will hang them on the wall in the midst of the superhero art we’ve chosen as the nursery theme.
However, she still doesn’t really know what’s coming. We’ve tried to prepare her as much as possible by explaining that Baby Brother will be small to start with and not able to play with her. We’ve explained that he might cry a lot, because that’s the only way babies can communicate (or “investigate” as she sometimes mistakenly says). I’ve even mentioned to her that he might wake mommy up a lot a night, so I might be more tired after he’s born. I’ve talked with her a little bit about nursing so she’s not utterly shocked or anything.
But, I can’t explain to her what having a newborn in the house is like. I can’t really explain to her what it’s like to go from an only child to a sibling because I’ve never done it. I was born a sibling. So was my husband.
I am incredibly excited to have this new member of our family. At the same time, I know it will be an adjustment for my daughter (and us!). I’ve been praying about it. And I’ve been thinking about what I want her to know before he’s born and she becomes a big sister. There are things I tell her, but there are other things that she just isn’t old enough to understand, yet. Some things I want her to know I will just have to show her and go without saying because she’s still only a 3-year-old.
I will always love you.
I want my daughter to know that no matter what, I will always love her. My heart is big enough to love two children. I have loved my husband for so long and love him so completely. I can’t imagine life without him. When our daughter was born, my heart grew to include a deep love for her that is complete and so strong it takes my breath away. Already my heart has grown to love this child along with my daughter. A mother’s heart has plenty of room for love. I never want my daughter to question that. I want her to always feel my love.
Having a sibling is cool.
I want my daughter to know that having a sibling is cool. My brother and I aren’t super close, but he’s my brother. He’s the one other person in this world who grew up with the exact same parents I did. We’ve been through challenges together throughout the years. We’ve learned how to work together to help our family through crisis as adults like we did back in 2005 when my dad had an accident and his life dangled precariously in the balance for weeks.
I want my daughter to know that her brother will be her brother for life. And she’ll always be his big sister. My prayer is that the two of them are close and have a good friendship and relationship. I want her to know that even when she has times he drives her crazy (and vice versa!) that at the end of the day, they will still have each other and the love of a sibling.
Being a big sister is an important job.
I want my daughter to know that she will be a role model. One thing I know as a younger sibling is how much we look up to our older siblings. I looked up to my brother and my cousin who was like another older brother for years. Her Baby Brother will do the same. It’s a cool responsibility to be a role model. She’ll be a good big sister with her compassionate heart and sensitive spirit. I’m excited to see how she rocks her big sister journey.
You don’t have to be a little mama.
I want my daughter to know that she’s a good helper, but she doesn’t have to be a little mother. She only has to be a big sister. My daughter loves to help around the house. With any task we’re working on, she’ll ask if we need help and try to help however she can. There have been many times I’ve carried the laundry basket lower through the house so she can hang on to one end and help me with it. She loves helping unload the dishwasher. Yesterday she wanted to help wipe down Baby Brother’s crib, so I armed her with a baby wipe and she had a great time. She just loves to help.
I will love for her to help and feel included with the baby, but I never want her to think she is responsible for him. First and foremost she is a little girl and I want her to enjoy being a little girl for as long as she can.
Life can be good, even when it’s difficult.
I want my daughter to know that even when life doesn’t seem fair, it’s still good. I know there will be struggles coming our way with who’s getting the most attention. Newborns are needy. They aren’t one bit understanding. Honestly, 3-year-olds aren’t super different in that department. There will be times she won’t think it’s fair for me to be doing something with the baby when she’d rather I was playing with her. I know that will happen. It can’t be avoided.
But I want her to know life is still good. I want her to come to understand that if she gives me a few minutes to take care of Baby Brother then I will have more time to peacefully play with her later. And when he gets older and does things like knock over the blocks she’s building or tears a page in her favorite book, I pray she’ll have compassion and understanding with him.
You will always be my baby girl.
I want my daughter to know that she will always be my baby girl. I tell her this often. She agrees that even though she’s a big girl now, she’s OK with still being my baby girl. But, she doesn’t really know what I mean. What I mean is that no matter how big she gets, I’ll never forget the first time I saw her after she was born. I’ll never forget looking deep into her eyes during middle-of-the-night feedings and wondering about the person she’d become. I’ll never forget snuggling close with her at all stages of her life thus far. Of course, I’ll never forget her first steps or her first words. I’ll never forget her own language she created for a while before she could really talk.
There are so many things that I’ll always remember every time I look at her. She is my precious girl. And just because I will have another baby with whom to experience so many of these things doesn’t make the times I shared with her any less precious.
Change is coming around these parts. It will be good, and it will bring challenges. My daughter continues to have lessons to learn as she navigates life and my son will be coming right behind her. Their dad and I have a big responsibility in raising them together. We’ve all got messages we need to hear from one another loud and clear, even when they come through actions. After all, that’s what being a family is all about.
Looking for more content about baby and toddler days? Don’t miss these posts!
We’ve all seen them. The parents at the playground who yell without abandon at their kids. They’re tired, exasperated and ready to call it quits. Maybe we’ve been that parent ourselves. None of us are perfect, but most of us don’t want to yell at our kids. When we welcomed tiny bundles of joy into the world, we didn’t envision a future spent with yelling and frustration!
But the question remains, can you effectively parent and not yell at your kids? Yes. It really is possible. I’ve been a parent for just a few days shy of 12 years and very, very seldom yell at my kids. And, you know what? My kiddos are both well behaved and their teachers often compliment their behavior.
I know every family is different with different needs and personality types. Check out these tips that work for us and see if maybe they could work for you, too, as you strive to not yell at your kids.
1. Don’t make empty threats.
Empty threats are those threats we know we aren’t going to follow through on — and our kids know that as well. So they don’t take you seriously. Their behavior continues. You get frustrated. To try and get through to them, you resort to raising your voice.
But empty threats don’t work. My husband and I made a plan when our first child was born that we’d not make threats we weren’t willing to follow through on. Sometimes that’s been hard. A couple of times, we’ve gotten into a pickle. However, it’s worked. Before I threaten a consequence for a behavior, I take two seconds to make sure it’s a consequence I will follow through on.
For example, when our oldest was a toddler, we were going to meet a friend of mine for lunch. I was excited to go to lunch. My daughter decided that day she would insist on doing everything herself — as toddlers like to do. In the midst of my frustration as I was trying to make her let me just put her shoes on for her, I nearly said, “If you don’t let me help you, then we’ll just stay home.”
The truth was my friend was coming from out of town, and it was a lunch I’d been looking forward to. Not going really wasn’t an option I’d follow through on. Instead, I shifted strategies and told her I’d count slowly to 10 while she worked on her shoes. If she didn’t finished by then, I would help her. She got to be independent; I got to make sure her shoes were on. We both got to enjoy lunch out.
If I had given the consequence of staying home unless she let me help her and then gone to lunch any way, she would have learned that I don’t always mean what I say. And soon enough, she’d stop listening to my empty threats. She’d continue doing what she wanted. I’d get frustrated and resort to yelling at her. It’s a slippery slope indeed!
Decide that if you are going to threaten a consequence that it’s one you will follow through on should your child not comply. I know it doesn’t sound so much like it has to do with yelling, but I think empty threats lead to yelling more times than not!
2. Have clear and consistent rules.
Another tactic to stop yelling at your kids is to set clear and consistent rules. Just like with empty threats, make sure the rules are reasonable and something you will consistently enforce. For example, one of our rules is that we speak to each other with respect. We don’t abide by name-calling or making fun of anyone. I always enforce that rule. If one of my kids speaks disrespectfully to another family member, they hear about it and usually have a consequence for it. This is a rule with no exceptions. It is also a rule for our entire family and not just the children. My husband and I also talk to our children and each other respectfully.
Other rules are sometimes broken with permission. But those are few and far between. Usually we don’t allow food upstairs at our house. However, during virtual schooling last year, we allowed my daughter to take snacks upstairs sometimes when she was on break.
Along with making rules, be consistent with them. Nothing is more frustrating for a child than inconsistency. If you do one thing one day and it’s OK, but the next day the exact same thing gets you in big trouble, it’s stressful and confusing. This also applies between parents. Talk with your spouse so you’re both on the same page with what’s OK and what isn’t.
My husband and I are usually on the same page when it comes to rules and discipline, but that doesn’t happen by chance. We’ve had many conversations about what is OK and what isn’t. We talk about how we handled situations and see what the other person thinks. Parenting is an evolving process as our kids grow. We have to keep in touch with our spouses about how we are going to handle new phases as they pop up.
Having each other’s back is also important. A couple of times my husband has backed me up when he didn’t necessarily agree with me and vice versa. Later (not in front of the kids) we discussed the situation. But in front of the kids, we showed a united front.
3. Communicate your expectations.
Once my kids were toddlers, I started talking with them before we went places about what I expected from them. I wasn’t giving lengthy speeches, but I’d say things like, “We are going to play with our friends at the park for an hour. But when mommy says it is time to go, don’t give me a hard time. We have an appointment we have to get to.”
Oftentimes I also gave my kids an idea of what to expect in new situations. I still do this to a degree. My son and I went to a meeting last week for an organization he wants to join. I explained up front that I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but we could ask questions. I reminded him that we needed to be on our best behavior.
When going over expectations with my kids, I also rarely bring up times in the past that they didn’t make the correct choice about their behavior. Every so often I will use previous bad behavior as a reminder that if it happens again then we won’t be able to continue a certain activity. But again, I only say something like that if it is completely true.
When kids know what to expect and how they are expected to behave, they usually behave better. And when your kids behave well, it’s easier to not yell at your kids!
4. Address the root of the behavior.
No matter how great your kids are, sometimes they act out or behave poorly because of underlying reasons. And when that happens, no amount of yelling at your kids is going to solve anything. It’s just going to make both of you miserable.
While kids definitely need consequences for unacceptable behavior, sometimes what they also need is for us to take time to listen to them. Recently, my son was having a bad afternoon. The day turned out differently than expected, and he was frustrated. As a result, he made some bad choices and got in trouble for them. About 10 minutes later, the two of us were alone and he mentioned he felt he was unfairly treated by having a consequence for the behavior. He was calm about it and not defiant in any way. He was just being honest.
So, I sat down with him on his level. I explained his behavior warranted consequences and then asked why he was off that afternoon. He opened up and shared his feelings and why he was so frustrated. We talked it through. I listened to him. I commiserated with him, I understood him, and then I encouraged him. Together we decided the rest of the afternoon and evening would be good. And it was!
That heart-to-heart moment with my son took no more than five minutes. I understood where he was coming from. The consequence for his behavior remained, but he also felt listened to and validated. That’s what we all need. Had we not had that conversation, I’m guessing the rest of the day would have included more poor choices, resulting in my husband or me losing our temper and raising our voices. Getting to the root of the problem kept that from happening.
Another positive of getting to the root of the problem is letting our kids know that we are their safe place when they are upset. They can talk to us about anything. My conversation with my son started because he was sincerely telling me how he felt about getting in trouble. I want him to be able to do that. I have encouraged my kids to talk to us. Of course, I’ve had times that their honesty has made me bristle and I’ve had to keep it in check. But communication is what makes for good relationships. Talking is a much better way to communicate than yelling for sure!
5. Know when yelling is OK.
So even though yelling at your kids isn’t something you want to do on a regular basis, sometimes yelling is OK. The biggest time is when your kids are doing something dangerous and you need to get their immediate attention. Because my husband and I don’t yell often, when we do, our kids pay attention.
A few weeks ago, we were in the kitchen before dinner and my son started to reach for something right over a hot baking sheet that was on the counter. I yelled at him to stop. He immediately jumped back. While it scared him, I was OK with that because I needed to get his attention right away before he got burned. If he was somewhat de-sensitized to my yelling because I yelled all the time, I’m not sure his reaction would have been quick enough to save him from getting hurt.
And then there are times when the child is just not listening and continuing the bad behavior. The usual mode of operation in our family is to give two or three warnings to stop before we raise our voice. We don’t often have to raise our voices. But every so often we need to in order to get our kids’ attention so they actually listen and stop their behavior.
However, yelling at our kids is never our first response, unless they are in danger. If we yell at them unfairly, we apologize for doing so. Apologizing gives us the opportunity to show our kids that adults mess up and need grace, too.
Everything you need for a fun and easy Halloween party at home!
Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
Last year we knew that trick-or-treating wouldn’t be an option for our kiddos in the midst of COVID-19. This year, things aren’t looking so great either. But we did learn last year how to throw a fun Halloween party at home that our kids enjoyed more than even trick-or-treating. I know. It was hard for me to believe, too. And the party didn’t take lots of planning, time or money.
Because we had all sheltered in, we included grandparents for our Halloween celebration. Everyone wore a costume. We had snacks, games and lots of fun! Most of the decorations were things my family and I made, which is an accomplishment considering I’m craft-challenged. But it all turned out great!
Halloween party DIY decorations
Decorations that are easy to do are my favorites. And all of these are easy. Basically with some construction paper, markers, crayons and scissors you can make most of them! (I did very little shopping for this party. Most stuff I had on hand at home because it was so basic!)
Paper ghosts
One of the biggest hits for our decor was these paper ghosts. When it comes to Halloween, I’m all about fun decorations and not scary ones. So I cut out some ghost shapes out of white construction paper and then my husband, kids and I all decorated them. We had various themes for each of them. They turned out so incredibly cute! We hung them with fishing line and tape.
I used white construction paper folded in half and cut out this shape for the ghosts. (The fold in half was so I could cut two at a time.) You can make it any shape you like! And you can make them different shapes as well.
A few of the finished ghosts that we decorated with markers and crayons. You can tell that we didn’t go super spooky! And, each ghost comes complete with its own back story that we came up with while working on them.
Light covers
My original plan was to cut out pumpkin shapes and have us decorate them. Then my son suggested that instead we cut jack-o-lanterns out of construction paper and tape them to our dining room light. It was cute. They didn’t look perfect, but that didn’t matter. They turned out well and were nice and festive.
The pumpkin light cover turned out pretty cute! I put them on with tape and did so just before the party. I didn’t want to worry about the over-heating or anything.
Another look at the pumpkin light. This was the first one I put up. Cute and easy!
Monster door
This monster door isn’t new to us. We did this a couple of times on the front door at our old house. But especially since we were almost never leaving the house, I decided to have the monster door be inside instead on our pantry door. We just used crepe paper (which I had from birthdays), paper plates, 2-inch painters tape and markers.
I flipped over the paper plates. We had two sizes, so we made his eyes different sizes this year, but we have also made them the same size. Then I cut out black circles to glue onto the plates and make the eyes. My son cut a nose out of a paper plate and colored it. You can also make the nose with construction paper. Then painters tape made up the mouth. Easy peasy and adorable! We had the monster door at our house for most of the month of October.
Jack-o-lanterns
Of course you can’t forget jack-o-lanterns for Halloween. We let each of our kiddos pick out a pumpkin and then decide how they wanted to decorate it. One decided to carve and the other decided to paint. For the carved pumpkin, we used a battery-powered tea light inside of it. We set both of them on the hearth of the fireplace for additional ambiance.
Easy and delicious Halloween-themed food
Every good party has to have food! I didn’t want to order pizza, because Halloween is one of the busiest nights for pizza places. And I also wanted to control when the food was ready so we weren’t waiting around for it. I’m not a master chef, but I found a few recipes that were festive and went well for our party. I served up some grapes, a veggie platter and cheese balls along with the following festive Halloween food.
Jack-o-lantern sandwiches
Of all the food I made for the party, this took the most time simply because I had to cut out the jack-o-lantern faces. But they turned out so cute that I’d totally do it again. And they were so delicious! Refrigerated pie crusts give these a decadence that works well with the salty ham and cheese.
Heat the oven to 425-degrees. Line a rimmed baking sheet with nonstick foil.
Unroll the pie crusts. Use a 3-inch cookie cutter to cut each crust into 24 pumpkin shapes. With a sharp knife, cut out eyes and a nose from 12 of the cutouts. Place the 12 plain pumpkins on your baking sheet.
Top each of the plain pumpkin cut-outs with a slice or two of ham, folded to fit. (You could also cut out the ham into circles, but that seemed like too much extra work to me!)
Put about 1/2 teaspoon of honey mustard on top of the ham.
Layer a slice or two of cheese on top of that and then top with another slice or two of ham. (I say "a slice or two" because it depends on your preference. I did one slice each with mine because my family's preferences.)
Brush the beaten egg around edges. Top with the pumpkins faces, then carefully press on the edges to seal.
Brush tops with beaten egg.
Bake for 12 to 15 minutes until light golden.
Let them cool for about 5 minutes before serving.
Reese’s Pieces cookie bars with eyes
I love Reese’s Pieces. They are so incredibly good. When I came across this recipe from Betty Crocker for Reese’s Pieces cookie bars that included candy eyes, I knew I had to make them for our Halloween party at home. I love that these can be made ahead of time. Cookie bars are also grand because you just mix them, bake them in one pan and then cut them. They’re less work than making actual cookies. This particular recipe uses a pouch cookie mix, so it’s even easier. Look how cute they are! And so yummy!
I love popcorn. My mom and son love it, too. I was curious when I came across a recipe for sweet popcorn, so I decided I had to try making it. I learned some things from the Halloween batch I made and made it better at Christmas. So, I’m going to show you the Halloween batch, but give you the instructions I learned later to make it better!
Ingredients 2 bags of microwave popcorn, popped 1 12-ounce package of candy melts (I used orange for Halloween) Halloween sprinkles, optional
Directions: 1. Pop two bags of white popcorn in the microwave. Spread it out on wax paper or parchment paper. 2. Put the candy melts in a microwave-safe bowl. (I used a large glass bowl.) 3. Heat the candy melts in the microwave in 30-second intervals, stirring in between, until they are fully melted. 4. Carefully pour the melted candy over the popcorn. Move the popcorn around with a spoon if needed to get most of the pieces coated. 5. Sprinkle the sprinkles over the top if desired. 6. Let it sit until cool before placing it in a bowl. Store in an airtight or zip-top container. It lasts for a few days of snacking!
PBJ spider sandwiches
Since my husband and son are more particular eaters who I knew wouldn’t eat the ham and cheese pockets, I looked for something they’d enjoy. These PBJ spider sandwiches were just the thing! I made both PBJ and plain peanut butter sandwiches (as you can see from the smear on one in the photo to denote it is plain). My son doesn’t like jelly.
I used a drinking glass to cut the sandwiches into rounds and then stuck in the pretzel stick legs. Easy-peasy and festive. These would be great to send in your kiddo’s lunchbox on Halloween as well!
Fun, simple Halloween party activities
While decorations set the mood and food makes everyone happier, you still need activities for a party to be successful. We’re a relatively low-key bunch, and we live in the Midwest where it can be 75-degrees on Halloween or 30-degrees. We didn’t want to risk planning anything outside. But we came up with some good options and both kids and adults had fun during our Halloween party at home.
Monster egg hunt
The biggest thing for our kids at Halloween is trick-or-treating. During the pandemic, that wasn’t possible. We debated about how to make it happen. We thought about stationing ourselves and our grandparents in different rooms around the house for the kids to visit and get candy from. But then I came across the idea of monster eggs. And that’s what we went with.
Before the party, I tracked down our plastic Easter eggs that were brightly colored, got out some Halloween stickers and got to work making the eggs look a bit more Halloween-ish. I had some face stickers left from a Halloween craft we’d done the previous year and then other Halloween stickers as well. (I love stickers, so I didn’t have to buy any. But if you aren’t a sticker-loving fiend like I am, you can either purchase Halloween stickers or use a Sharpie to draw on them.)
Once they were decorated, I filled the eggs with candy. During the party, we sent the kids upstairs and some of us adults hid the eggs all over downstairs for the kids to come and find. They had fun doing so, and we had the challenge of trying to remember where we put all the eggs! In the end, everyone ended up with candy and was happy. (I kept a candy bucket sitting out throughout the night as well.)
The monster eggs were a hit. If you need eggs, Amazon has your back. Find them here.
Pumpkin ring toss
When we were shopping for pumpkins to decorate, we also looked for a small pumpkin with a tall stem. (Pie pumpkins are a perfect size for this!) We found one and brought it home. Armed with some glow bracelets, we turned off the living room light during our Halloween party at home and had a ring toss to see who could get the most rings (a.k.a. glow bracelets) on the pumpkin’s stem.
Halloween charades
Charades is one of my kids’ favorite games to play. So, we had to include it for some Halloween party fun. We came up with our own ideas, so I’ve put them together in a free printable for you. There are two versions: one with pictures and one without. If you have an early reader who wants to participate, the one with pictures would work well for triggering their reading. I like the picture version as well to make it easier for my 8-year-old who is dyslexic. Click on either image to download and print the version you prefer.
Our final activity for our Halloween party at home was Halloween Bingo. You can buy adorable Halloween Bingo games online. Or you can find free printable ones to use. Since we had a small group, I went with the free printable route and then we used candy corn for our game markers. Yep, we totally snacked on some along the way. If you don’t like candy corn, you can use another candy, marshmallows or even cereal to mark your game.
My favorite site for free printables for games and activities is DLTK Kids. (I have no affiliation with them whatsoever.) They offer lots of easy-to-customize options. I have used their site many times for Sunday School classes and my own kiddos. DLTK Kids has a page full of a variety of Halloween activities for kids, including Halloween Bingo.
Recently, I went into my son’s room to wake him up for school. Being tired, he protested a bit. I told him I understood but it was time to get up and have a good day. He replied that he wouldn’t have a good day. In fact, throughout the entire morning, he talked about not having a good day.
Yes, it sounds dramatic. Kids can be dramatic. But this wasn’t about drama. It wasn’t about my son being difficult. It was because that day meant more assessment testing in reading. And he was trying so hard on the test, yet not being effective at it. This is life with dyslexia.
On the way home from school the previous day, he told me he silently cried in his head while working on his test. His teacher told the class not to guess their answers, but he just couldn’t read the text and was stressed. He describes the letters as looking slanted, shaky or both. This is life with dyslexia.
That same day I reassured him that all we want is for him to do his best. I reminded him that his dad, his teacher, his school and I know the challenges he has with reading. And we all just want him to do his best. Without missing a beat, he replied that his best isn’t good enough. My heart cracked. This is life with dyslexia.
On the same afternoon, I got a call from the special education coordinator at school seeking more information before we have a meeting to discuss how to best help my son. She needed me to scan and send in a 25-page report about him. This is life with dyslexia.
That evening he was working on a project with his dad building rockets. The kit had a small booklet with information in it about outer space. I mentioned my son could read parts of it instead of having my husband read it all. Without even looking at the text, my son declared it was above his level. This is life with dyslexia.
Still the same evening, my daughter asked whether my son had spelling words, yet. I told her not so far. Then I got a pit in my stomach. Spelling tests are so difficult. All last year as we did virtual schooling, I saw my son work so hard on spelling words. He went over and over them. We got creative with how we practiced them. Then he would get to the test and all the spellings flew out of his head. Sometimes spelling tests ended in tears and often they ended with him beating himself up over all the words he had missed. This is life with dyslexia.
After I saw my son off to school the morning that he insisted would be a bad day, I prayed. I prayed for strength for him. I asked God to be with him. Seeing your child struggle is beyond difficult. Knowing that he is in for a tough time as you send him out the door is heart-wrenching. I want to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. But that wouldn’t help him most in the end. This is life with dyslexia.
Not long after he left, I read my devotion book, and two things struck me. One there is a passage where Jesus refers to the Holy Spirit as our Advocate (John 16:7). My son needs an advocate right now, so that really stuck out to me. God has him covered. And then in the devotion book was a reminder that when we let loved ones go, we can trust that God is covering and taking care of them even more than we are able to. I thanked God for that reminder I so desperately needed. This is life with dyslexia.
As I headed into my office that day, I started thinking about how to help my son. I want him to fly and not fall. His teacher mentioned earlier in the week that the school is short on aides right now, so she wasn’t sure if someone would even be available read his math test to him if needed. I wondered if I’d be allowed to go into school and read things to him in that situation. I actually looked to see if the school had jobs for aides posted. Because I would apply in a heartbeat if I knew it would help my son. This is life with dyslexia.
For the past year, I’ve been doing research. I’ve been learning all I can about dyslexia. I know more now than I did previously, but I don’t feel like I know enough. Can I ever know enough? Probably not. To me, reading has always been a source of joy. I love reading, writing and words in general. Etymology excites me. Grammar makes me happy. Reading a good book is how I relax. Knowing reading and all that goes with it is a source of stress and frustration for my son breaks my heart. This is life with dyslexia.
I also know resources are available to help my son. Dyslexia fonts are available for ebooks. My son has tried such a font and agreed it was easier to read for him. There are audio books. Technology offers talk-to-text. I am thankful for these resources while at the same time sad that we need them. This is life with dyslexia.
I don’t know what the future will hold. I know this school year holds stress ahead. My son is in third grade, which has two standardized tests along with the three usual math and reading assessment progress tests. My heart sinks thinking of the challenges that are coming for him. This is life with dyslexia.
Thankfully we have a school that I think is going to do well in helping him with his challenges. I am impressed with our school in so many ways. We have a meeting coming up, but I don’t really know what to expect. I’m doing yet more research so I know what to even ask for. Mostly, I just want my son to be able to learn without so much extra stress. I know his challenges will always be there, but I have to believe we can make some accommodations for him so it won’t be as incredibly difficult. This is life with dyslexia.
For now, we will keep pressing on. I won’t stop advocating for my son and what he needs. I will be with him every single step of the way. My husband and I will continue to celebrate with him when he gets excited to read a book to us so proudly. He has grown so much, is working so hard and is reading so much better. But his challenges certainly remain. He is a persistent little dude. I have known from the beginning that once he makes up his mind to do something, it’s as good as done. That’s both a frustrating and awesome trait. Managing dyslexia will be no different. Together, our family will work to encourage him, help him, believe in him and love him through any challenge he faces. Because, this is life with dyslexia.
The following post I wrote back in 2014 when I was in the midst of parenting a toddler. If you are currently or ever have parented toddlers, I’m guessing you’ll relate!
I love my children. They are awesome. OK, now that I’ve cleared that up, let me continue with my premise that toddlers are tiny bullies. My daughter, at 4-1/2, is past this phase, but my son at 16 months is just getting into the thick of it. And, oh my, is he ever in the thick of it! I know my daughter did many of the things her brother is now doing, but he’s also different from her in many ways and pushes the limits of pushing the limits.
Toddlers are adorable and sweet. They really are, but they do resemble bullies in some ways. As such parenting toddlers can push you to your limits — and beyond!
1. Bullies and toddlers are food thieves.
While bullies may steal your lunch money, toddlers just steal your lunch — or breakfast or dinner or snack or anything you think you’re going to eat without sharing. It doesn’t matter if my son has the exact same food on his tray as I do on my plate; he still thinks my food is way better and I must share it. If I don’t, he protests.
Just last week when he was off schedule and I was eating lunch while he wasn’t eating, I paid him off in the oyster crackers I was having alongside my salad just so that I could eat without him screaming at me the whole time.
2. Bullies and toddlers are physically abusive.
I’ve never been hit by a bully, but I’ve been hit plenty of times by my kids. I’ve been head butted and smacked. My nose has been pinched and my lips pulled and contorted. We won’t even discuss the internal organ squishing I endured while they were in my belly.
3. Bullies and toddlers think only of themselves.
It’s true. My son is a sweet boy, but he wants what he wants whether it’s hard on anyone else. If he wants to stand on the back of my legs while I’m kneeling at his sister’s bed reading her a story, then he will. He won’t consider whether that might not be comfortable for me. If he wants a cuddle in the middle of the night, he won’t consider that maybe I was trying to sleep.
4. Bullies and toddlers can make you question your self worth.
I know we’re not supposed to take toddler actions personally. I don’t always, but there are times I’m tired and weary when question if I even know how to be a mother. They wear you down!
5. Bullies and toddlers are unpredictable.
You never know what you’re going to get. One day when I go get my son out of his crib, he can hardly wait for me to pick him up. The next day, he wants to stay in his crib for a few minutes and teasingly play with me. And let’s not get started on food. One day grilled cheese is like manna from heaven that he can’t shove in his mouth fast enough. The next day it’s the most disgusting food he’s even seen or tasted, and woe to the person who puts it on his tray.
6. Bullies and toddlers can hold you hostage.
OK. I don’t know if bullies actually do this, but toddlers sure do! When my son isn’t feeling well in some way, he doesn’t want to go to sleep alone in his room. I have sat on the floor, laid on the floor and slept on the floor. I’ve been his hostage knowing that if I leave the room even to go to the bathroom across the hall that he will erupt in wails.
7. Bullies and toddlers have no regard for your personal space.
My son does not understand that anyone has a personal bubble. He steps on my toes while I’m making dinner without a care in the world. He plops in my lap with no regard just as I was starting to get up to go to the bathroom. At any given time, he crawls all over me. He delights in putting toys down the front of my shirt. Personal space for me? No way. Instead, I’m his personal, portable playground.
8. Bullies and toddlers are possessive.
Everything that’s mine is his. If it’s his sister’s it’s his. Everything that’s his is his. And, of course, everything that is my husband’s is his. Just yesterday he was lugging around his big sister’s backpack while she was trying to put things in it. It ended in a battle of wills between the two of them with one yelling for him to let go and him just yelling that someone was trying to take what he felt strongly was his. I won’t even begin to explain how he also is sure everything in the trashcan is his. That’s an ongoing battle around here.
9. Bullies and toddlers are loud.
I don’t think any of the bullies I knew as a child were ever described as the quiet kid in the corner. (Nope, that would have been me!) Toddlers are the same. My son pays no mind to where we are, what we are doing or even who might still be asleep as his hollers and carries on whether he’s making happy noises or distressed ones. He gets quiet when we’re out to dinner or in public oftentimes because he’s too busy observing everything. People remark about his quietness from time to time. I want to tell them how they’re being fooled. I usually just smile. The boy is not quiet.
10. Bullies and toddlers want their way and get mad when they don’t get it.
If the dog is sitting beside me on the futon in his room, then the dog must be moved. This can best be managed with force. If I’m in the middle of making dinner and he comes to the kitchen holding a book up for me to read to him, then he’s going to be loudly (see number nine) angry when I don’t comply. When I remove him from gathering contraband from the trash or standing on the end table for the 10th time, he turns into a spaghetti noodle and flails about protesting on the floor.
Parenting toddlers has its pros as well
All that said, bullies and toddlers do have their differences as well. Toddlers can be quite lovable, entertaining and funny. I’m pretty sure if this wasn’t the case then humans would have died out long ago. Because there are just as many times that he comes to my lap for a cuddle or gives me his huge, sparse-toothed smile that melts my heart. There are many times I see him love on his sister, his dog or my husband and I burst with pride and love.
This toddler/bully stage still has some time to go. My son is learning how to interact with his world. My husband and I are teaching him. We’re teaching his super sensitive big sister to not give in to him all the time because he’s upset or crying. And we’re getting there. We made it through toddlerhood once before. I’m sure we’ll survive this final time. Pretty sure. Mostly sure…
Ideas for making a family yes day fun for everyone
Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.
A couple of months ago, my kids watched the movie “Yes Day” on Netflix at my parents’ house. Since then, they’ve talked about how they wanted to have a family yes day as well. In fact, as we made a list of activities we wanted to do this summer, family yes day made it onto the list.
And so a couple of weeks ago, we picked a Saturday and declared it would be our family yes day. My husband and I had some concerns and weren’t all that sure what to expect. The kids forbade us from watching the “Yes Day” movie beforehand, though they shared about some of the antics in the movie. Just like that our yes day was underway, and I’m so glad we did it!
What exactly is a family yes day?
A family yes day is a day when parents say yes to anything the kids ask them. Basically, it means the kids get to be in charge. The yes day in the movie lasted 24 hours, according to the movie trailer. Our yes day was from the time we woke up (at a time our kids chose) until we went to sleep that night.
Saying yes to anything kids ask for sounds a bit scary and potentially alarming. So, as a family we agreed to a few ground rules ahead of time. We tried to keep the rules simple and straight forward. My daughter wrote them down for us.
All rules apply!
Parents may sit out when involving major fears or inconveniences.
Any toy purchases come from the kids’ own money.
No asking for living things.
Say yes!
While our kiddos had about six days to plan their yes day after we made these rules, another option is to just pick a day and say yes to whatever the kids ask without them knowing ahead of time. I suggest letting them do some planning, though. At least for my kiddos the anticipation is half of the fun. (Another bonus is it gets them to work together on something!)
Making plans
Once we had finalized our rules for yes day, our kids got to work coming up with ideas of what they’d like to do for the day. They sequestered themselves in my daughter’s room so we wouldn’t know anything. The pair of them even made arrangements with grandparents for things. They asked my in-laws to watch our dog for the day. And they asked my parents for a day to come over and do some work for yes day.
Meanwhile, my husband and I were beginning to wonder what we’d gotten ourselves into and what they were going to have us do!
I learned after the fact that the kids did some online searching for ideas. They checked the weather forecast. Rain was predicted for the Saturday we chose, so some activities wouldn’t work out well. Because my daughter is much like I am, they also made an itinerary for the day complete with approximate times for everything. They were well prepared!
Earlier in the week as they were making their plans, I mentioned to my daughter that I wanted to make sure her little brother had an equal say in the day. I do see that could certainly be an area of conflict among siblings. My kiddos feel very strongly about being fair, though. They did a great job at balancing the day with things they both wanted to do.
Ideas for family yes day
Let’s get to the fun stuff of what actually happened for yes day! The kiddos told us we needed to be ready for the day by 7:30 a.m. and that we shouldn’t eat breakfast.
A breakfast treat
Our first stop was a local doughnut shop where we each picked a sweet pastry for breakfast. My 8-year-old son chose to wear his PJs for the first part of the day. We don’t usually let him go places in his PJs, but we couldn’t tell him no!
Shopping
The next stop was Walmart for my son because he wanted to do some toy shopping. He used his own money and purchased a truck set he’d had in mind. (Thanks to not being out much for the past year and a half because of the pandemic, my kids both had a decent amount of money in their spending. They were able to have small shopping sprees!)
My daughter opted to wait until we got back home after that stop and order online. She’s wanted a giant teddy bear for years. We’ve always said no, because where are you going to put a 5-foot tall bear?! But, we couldn’t say no on family yes day. Plus we had just finished cleaning out and reorganizing her bedroom with her, so she really did have room for the bear. She also added in some stickers she’d been eying to use in her new room decor and some new scrunchies that you can store small items in.
Getting crafty
The kids asked to make fluffy slime. We hadn’t don so for a while, but thankfully we had the ingredients needed for fluffy slime: shaving cream, glue, baking soda and contact solution. We’ve made this slime recipe a couple of other times and it turns out well, but we hadn’t made it for about two years. We were overdue. And my sweet kiddos gave me my own glob, because I love slime!
Water fun
Our next activity was a bit crazy. We live in the Midwest where July weather is usually hot and humid. On our family yes day, however, we had an atypical cool day with highs in the low 70s and rain forecasted. But that didn’t deter my kids from wanting to have a water balloon fight. We’ve never done that and evidently it was something they’ve been pining to do.
On their day with my parents, they went shopping and my parents got these easy-fill water balloons. We got them filled pretty quickly and then proceeded to chase each other around the yard with them. There were lots of shrieks and giggles!
Lunch
After drying off, we were all ready for lunch. We made our typical lunches, but the kids had a rule that we could eat anywhere except the kitchen table. One sat on the fireplace hearth and the other on the dining room floor. My husband and I opted for the couch!
Obstacle course
During virtual school, we had a couple of times that our gym assignment was making an obstacle course. The kids wanted to do that on family yes day, so I helped them sit it up downstairs using kitchen chairs, stools, a yoga mat and some fabric squares. Basically, it worked like “The Floor is Lava” where they couldn’t touch the ground. They did a couple of tweaks as they went and then wanted to time themselves to see how much faster they could get.
Downtime
The kids had extra time in the schedule, so we had some family downtime for a bit. They had planned some family downtime, but we ended up with just a bit more than they had planned, which was nice for their tired parents!
Chuck E. Cheese’s
The next activity was a trip to Chuck E. Cheese’s to play games. I wasn’t super excited for this idea, and it was the busiest place we’ve been since before the pandemic, but my son really wanted to go. Plus, how could we say no? So we spent 45 minutes playing games. My daughter, who isn’t as excited about Chuck E. Cheese’s these days, was sweet to humor her brother.
Early dinner
If my kids can pick anywhere to eat, they always pick Fazoli’s. So we weren’t shocked that’s where they wanted to have dinner on our family yes day.
Cake decorating
According to the kids, the next activity was a bit last minute. They had planned for us to go see a movie, but that didn’t work out for a variety of reasons, which they realized the day before. Instead, we came home and they wanted to have a cake decorating competition. I got a slightly modified cake in the oven in two round pans and then whipped up some buttercream icing.
My daughter found an image of a bear and we divided into teams. Our objective was to recreate the image of the, but we didn’t have to use the same color as the bear. My husband and daughter worked on a brown bear, while my son and I decided on blue for our bear. We let grandparents pick the winner via photos or video without telling them who did which cake. My son and I won just barely.
And then, we had some tasty cake at the same time the kids would usually be going to bed!
Our cake inspiration
Cake A from my husband and daughter
Cake B from my son and me
Fort building
As we were getting into bedtime mode, the kids had planned to make a blanket fort in the loft and sleep there. They switched to making it our bedroom, though. My son planned to sleep in it all night. My daughter hung out there until she was ready to sleep and then went to her own bed. The fort turned out very well using our kitchen chairs, blankets and some clamps.
The blanket fort before it got filled with glowing balloons, blankets and pillows
Glowing in the dark
The final activity for yes day was using all sorts of glow bracelets and balloons that they had gotten from the Dollar Tree with my parents. As we blew up balloons, we put one or two activated bracelets in them to create glowing balloons. Some glow bracelets stayed out.
Benefits of our family yes day
My husband and I were quite surprised at what our kids picked to do for yes day. We had visions of them wanting to go on excursions out of town or do major activities. But instead they really just wanted to do fun stuff. Chances are, we would have said yes to many of these things at different times. I know we wouldn’t have said yes to them all in the same day. And, honestly, some of them seemed like more effort than they actually were.
I don’t want my kids to always think of their dad and me as saying no. Of course we can’t usually say yes to everything, but letting them have the freedom to just have fun with our yeses was more than worth it. They completely loved the day. I was proud of how they worked together to plan the day. Seeing them excited to be calling the shots and in charge was so much fun!
The best part to me is that we made good family memories. I took photos. We laughed. We won’t forget yes day any time soon. The kids asked to have another one again sometime. Our answer? Yes!
