Families With Grace

Helping Christian moms create homes filled with grace, love & faith

Teaching our children to give

6 ideas to help children learn to live generously

Happy Giving Tuesday! I love the reminder to continue giving, especially during a season that can be consumed with so many distractions and even downright greed.

Giving as a family is incredibly important. We have made it a priority in our family and try to involve our kids as much as possible. However, when I talked to them about it just this morning, they didn’t realize everything we do. They knew some of it, but not all of it. And they hadn’t thought about how some of what we do is giving without spending money. We need to be even more intentional about showing and talking with them about giving and what we’re doing.

I’ve heard people say that children need to be taught how to give, because it goes against our human nature. That’s true to an extent. Just try asking a toddler to share his favorite toy with you! But, I’ve also seen the innocence of my kids when we see someone holding a sign asking for work or food on the roadside. They’d ask why the person was there and why didn’t we help him or her? In their little minds, if someone needs help, you give it. That’s the attitude we have tried to encourage and build on.

I think we all want to teach our kids how to give and how to look out for others. We’ve found a few ways to do that as a family. And we’ll continue working on it and talking about it even more. We have done our best to involve our kids as much as possible.

1. Help kids start a fund for giving.

When our children turned 5, they started getting a weekly allowance based on their ages (a dollar per year). We use an envelope system with them. They have an envelope for saving, spending and giving. For example, at 5, the money is divided each week as $3 for saving, $1 for spending and $1 for giving. And then we talk about how they want to spend their giving money every month or two as it accumulates.

When we first did this with our daughter, I assumed she’d want to just give her money in the offering at church. But when we asked her, she wanted to do something more tangible. So as we talked about it with her, we decided to buy food for a local food pantry. 

Since then, that has taken off. We have matched her money to buy food and so have my parents. And then she had a chance to help distribute food from a food pantry out of a local church. She decided then that we needed to do more. So we talked with our pastor and asked church members to bring in food that we take to the pantry. That’s been three years ago, and we are still involved with that same food pantry. It all started with a few dollars in a giving envelope.

2. Find tangible ways to give.

For us, the food pantry has been a very tangible way to give that has continued. Our kids love going to the store, finding good deals and figuring out things like how many cans of food we can buy with the money they have or how many rolls of toilet paper we can get. We have done our best to ask each time we take items to the food pantry about what the pantry needs most, because we also want to be actually helpful.

(For the record, our food pantry requests toiletries the most throughout the year, because these things are in high demand since they’re not covered by food stamps. During the holiday season, they need holiday dinner type food and cash to buy turkeys or hams.)

Our son has enjoyed working with and helping get things for the food pantry, but he’s had some other ideas as well. We try to encourage them however they’re thinking of giving. Sometimes our kids have thought of giving money to a family member who needed something. Other times they have wanted to give it to church or for a special offering. And still other times they want to give it to a different charity.

Locally, for example, we have an organization that collects money to provide Christmas to families who can’t afford it otherwise. Our church works with this charity (its founder attends our church, in fact) and so does the kids’ school. They love being able to be involved with that, too.

3. Make giving fun.

It doesn’t take much to make most giving fun. For example, my kids find it fun to even be involved in the process of deciding what to buy for the food pantry. Last time around my son used his money to buy a box of Honey Nut Cheerios. It wasn’t what we were there for that day. That day we were focusing on canned foods and toiletries, but it was his money and I’m sure that box of cereal went to good use. Usually on trips to the grocery store, they aren’t involved with the decisions of what to buy since I’m in charge of that. So having a chance to pick things out is fun for them.

Their school does a great job of making giving fun this time of year, especially. For that local Christmas charity, the kids could bring in money to vote for which team of teachers would win a silly race. They could also spend $1 to send a note with a piece of candy to a classmate. My kids each got a kick out of sneaking to the office to do this for each other. 

4. Remind them why they’re giving.

Everyone likes a bit of encouragement and cheering on. Should we give to get credit and accolades? Nope. But, kids do need to be encouraged and reminded of why they are giving. We try to talk about all the families who will be helped through the food pantry or other programs. We talk about what it would be like to come home from school and not be able to find any food in the pantry for a snack or wonder if there would be anything to eat for dinner. And we remind them that their giving is helping some families avoid that reality.

5. Volunteer together.

Just like I was telling my kids this morning, there are also ways to give that don’t involve spending money. In fact, spending your time is just as important. This is an area where we need to work more on our kiddos. They don’t always see the things we do as giving of our time. And that’s OK, but I want to encourage them to do the same. 

While they have helped with the food pantry, there are other volunteer opportunities around the community that they can be involved with as well. We have struggled to do organized volunteer activities the last few years as I’ve had some more intense health issues than usual, but we’ve still found ways. For a year and a half, I taught a children’s Sunday School class and my own kids loved to help me prepare and test out crafts for me.

I also reminded them that giving to others can even be as simple as seeing a friend or family member who needs help with something and jumping right in to assist. Opportunities to give to others abound around us if we just open our eyes to see them.

6. Be an example for them.

Last week, my husband was gone the entire week. He missed having Thanksgiving with us. We missed him tremendously, but we also supported him being gone. He began working with Team Rubicon a couple of months ago as a volunteer. Team Rubicon is a non-profit organization of volunteers that sends people to areas of disaster to help aid in cleaning up and rebuilding. Once he got his FEMA certification, he was ready to go help.

So two Saturdays ago my husband left for Florida to help clean up from the devastation of Hurricane Michael. Before he left, we had a family discussion about it over dinner and let the kids ask questions. They were curious what he’d be doing, but they were also curious why he was doing it.

He told them that he felt like if there was something he could do then he should do it. He also said sometimes you have to let yourself be the answer to someone’s prayer. While giving money is good and helpful, sometimes you need to literally be God’s hands and feet. I don’t think there is any better answer than that as to why to give.

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8 simple Christmas traditions to bring your family closer (plus 2 FREE printables!)

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Sometimes I balk at traditions. I’m not a fan of doing things just because that’s the way we’ve always done them even though it doesn’t make sense and nobody is happy about it. But, I love traditions that are simple and enjoyable. This is never more evident than through the Christmas season. And simple is needed most this time of year since there are so many other demands placed on our time like shopping, wrapping, kids’ programs, family gatherings, school parties and baking.

This will be my 10th Christmas as a mom. These Christmas traditions have evolved through the years. Just like the birthday traditions I told you about, these are simple, fun and build great memories.

Countdown to Christmas

Though my 9-year-old understands the concept of time now, my 5-year-old doesn’t as much. He’s good with smaller amounts of time, but knowing how many days are left before Christmas is helpful for him. Plus it’s just fun to keep track together.

I have a FREE Countdown to Christmas printable that my own family uses. For each day of the month, you can put a sticker over the number or X out the number — whatever you prefer. My kiddos love stickers, so we are going the sticker route. Each number is star shaped, so hitting up the Dollar Tree for some star stickers works super well for this.

We usually do our countdown in the evening after dinner but before bedtime. We alternate which kiddo puts on the sticker each night, and then on the 25th they put it on together.

To open the PDF to download or print,
click the image or click here.

Wrapped Christmas books

This is another Christmas tradition we started early on and LOVE around my house. We love books, and we really love to unwrap gifts. Thanks to programs like Scholastic book club, gifts from family and my own finds, we have enough Christmas books to last us from December 1 through 24. Now we have a few extras, but in the early days, I also included some general winter books as well. You can even use library books as long as you keep track of which are library books and need to be returned.

The week before December starts, I pull out our Christmas books and get 24 of them wrapped. It works perfectly if you have an even number of kids so they can rotate through who opens a book each night, because everyone wants to open them!

It also is great for toddlers who really want to open wrapped presents they see appearing under the Christmas tree or other places. They get a chance to open a gift! This is one we do near bedtime since we then read the book for bedtime. We combine this Christmas tradition with the next one, so each book has a Bible verse attached to it. 

Daily Bible verses

For us this works well paired with the books. I print out and cut into squares Bible verses that take us through the Christmas story, which I have for you as a FREE Advent Verses for Children printable. I fold and number each one and attach it to a book. Then the kids find the right number for the right day to open.

What I love most about this is that it makes sure every day we are taking at least a couple of minutes to talk about the real reason for the Christmas season. And each evening, before we read the verse, we review what has happened in the story up until that point. It is a great way to reiterate or teach the Christmas story to kiddos.

If you don’t do the books, you can just go through the verses on the page and mark them out as you read them. You could even cut them into squares and put them in an Advent calendar you already have. Do whatever works best for your family!

To open the PDF to download or print, click the image above or click here.

Radio ornament

Back in 2012 my parents got us this cool North Pole Countdown Christmas ornament from Hallmark. Each day starting December 1, you turn the radio dial to hear a 60-second update from the North Pole. It’s cute, funny and clever. The kids enjoy it, so we do that usually when we do the other Christmas activities, but sometimes we do it in the morning. It just depends on the day.

Christmas light tour

I love seeing Christmas lights decorating houses and so do my kiddos. As a kid, my parents would drive around and show us Christmas lights throughout the city. Even once I was an adult, my mom and I continued doing that and often included my grandmas as well. Now that I have kids, we definitely keep up this Christmas tradition. Usually we do this a couple of times throughout the Christmas season.

We will go to the more formal, organized displays and we will also just drive around places we’ve heard about where people have decorated their houses well.

For us, we keep it simple and just do it whenever we have a chance. I know some families do things like go in their PJs while sipping Thermoses of hot chocolate. That’s totally fine, too. That just doesn’t seem to work out for us (plus I’m the only member of my family who really likes hot chocolate!).

Cookie decorating party

I am the cookie baker in my family and have been since high school. I love making Christmas cookies. When my daughter was 3, I decided it would be fun to involve our families in decorating cookies with us. So one evening near Christmas, I invite over my parents and my in-laws, and we decorate sugar cookies with colored icing, candy and sprinkles. The last couple of years I’ve only made two or three dozen sugar cookies, so it doesn’t take us long. The kids have fun and our families enjoy visiting. We usually order pizza for dinner and make an evening of it.

And if you’re not a cookie baker or don’t have time, buy pre-made sugar cookie dough and roll out some shapes. You could even just make all circles to decorate with store-bought icing. It doesn’t have to be complicated to be fun!

Cookie breakfast

Like I said, I’m the cookie baker in the family. One of my favorite things to do has been on Christmas Eve morning to eat a couple of those homemade cookies for breakfast with a nice, cold glass of milk in my living room with only the Christmas tree lights on.

Once my kids were old enough, they joined me in this Christmas tradition. In fact, I didn’t give it all that much thought until my daughter was 5 or 6 and brought it up to me at the beginning of December how much she looked forward to our cookie breakfast. It was one of her favorite things about Christmas. I’ve learned that the smallest traditions can bring us together and make the best memories; this is definitely one of those traditions!

Christmas Eve PJs

My kids like to open one gift on Christmas Eve. Usually we open gifts with their grandparents on Christmas Eve and save the gifts among the four of us for Christmas morning. Regardless, they still love getting to open a gift at home on Christmas Eve before we head out.

Since I have always loved having new pajamas for Christmas (and still do!), I combined the Christmas Eve gift with new PJs, so they open new PJs on Christmas Eve. They are old enough to be onto my ploy now, so sometimes they can also convince us to pick out one more gift to open as well. They don’t tend to be as excited for new PJs as I am!

Looking for more Christmas ideas? Check out these posts!

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10 Ways to be kind to your family today

Celebrate World Kindness Day from the inside out!

Happy World Kindness Day! Today is a day created to remind the world to be kind to each other. The focus is on making the world a better place through acts of kindness. I love that idea! It goes right along with my passion and Families with Grace. 

While you’re looking for and thinking about ways to be kind to those you encounter, don’t forget about the people you encounter most: your family! Sometimes being kind to those who live under the same roof as you can be harder and take more sacrifice.

For example, buying a coffee for the car behind you at the Starbucks drive-thru is kind, but it doesn’t require much time or effort. There is minimal sacrifice involved other than the few dollars extra that you pay. (And totally do something like this if you can; it really is a kind thing to do!)

But finding ways to be kind to our families can be a little more involved. My kids, for instance, wouldn’t think twice about me paying for their food or drinks because I always do since they are 5 and 9.

I’ve come up with some ideas for you to apply to your family for World Kindness Day — and the other 364 days of the year! Give them a try, let me know what you love and share some of your ideas as well.

1. Write a note.

Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, but I love a handwritten note. Even just a few sentences on a piece of paper that say how much you love and appreciate someone can make their day. Text messages or emails work, too, if that’s more your speed or works better for your family. 

2. Bake a favorite family treat.

I think my love language is food! LOL Seriously, though, there’s something about cooking or baking something special for those you love that is good for your soul. And they’ll love it, too!

Here are some yummy recipes you can try:
Fudgy brownies
Peanut butter cookies
Toffee cookies
Pumpkin bread
Oat and honey granola
4-ingredient whipped pudding pie
Peanut butter honey nut cereal clusters
Banana bread

3. Do someone else’s chore.

Our family is big on everyone has their own chores and is responsible for their own belongings. We’re trying to teach responsibility and all that jazz, but every so often taking someone else’s dishes to the sink for them or putting their dirty socks in the hamper is just plain kind and appreciated.

4. Go around the dinner table and share things you like about each other.

My family has done this randomly a couple of times. We’ve also done it on birthdays and focused on one person. Everyone loves to hear what other people like about them. Challenge your family to say three nice things about each family member that have to be more than their appearance. 

5. Ditch electronics, snuggle and chat.

What is kinder than giving someone your undivided attention? Even better, snuggle together on the couch and talk about your day. Try to do more listening than talking. The gift of being heard is priceless.

6. Banish complaints.

Decide to spend the entire day without complaining or grousing. Sometimes we get in the habit of seeing and talking about only negative things. Banish the negative and embrace the positive for a day. Your whole family can do it together or just you can do it. Either way, the shift in even one attitude can shift the attitude of the entire family.

7. Buy a small gift as a surprise.

Stop by the Dollar Tree for a small toy or trinket. Or stop by a gas station and pick up a favorite candy bar. You could even get a $5 gift card to a favorite fast food restaurant. Just find a little something your loved ones love and leave it somewhere for them to find like on their pillow, desk or usual end of the couch.

8. Join together to be kind.

Sometimes the best gift you can give your loved ones is the gift of learning to appreciate how good it feels to give. Talk about a family project you can undertake together to help someone else. Make a card together for an extended family member going through a hard time. Or go shopping for and deliver food to a local food pantry. Or bake cookies and take them to the local fire department.

9. Get crafty.

Homemade gifts can really be the best ones. I have always enjoyed cards and crafts my kids make me, but I’ll never forget how excited my daughter was when I made her a card to go with her small gift for preschool graduation because I’d forgotten to buy one. She thought it was so awesome that her mom sat down with construction paper and made one for her. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate craft (unless that’s your thing, then go for it!). Just a little something can go a long way.

10. Say thank you.

This seems too obvious, but I’m thinking of saying thank you for all the small things that we expect our families to do and don’t often comment on. Thank you husband for taking out the trash. Thank your kids for putting their clothes in the hamper. Everyone loves to be appreciated!

Never want to miss any Families with Grace content? Sign up for our mailing list and receive a FREE tip sheet on 10 ways you can start living as a family with grace right now! It’s chock-full of good, practical ideas to help bring peace to your home. Don’t miss out! Go here now!

5 cheap games for young children the whole family will love

Family game night ideas for readers and non-readers alike!

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Family game night is one of our favorite activities around my house. Sometimes, however, it can be challenging to find games that all four of us like. Since our youngest kiddo is just in kindergarten and an early reader, we have to find games that don’t require much reading. Finding those games that are also fun for my husband and me along with our 9-year-old can be a challenge. While Candyland, for example, is a fun game with a little one, it quickly grows boring for older children and adults.

But we have found a few games that work well for all four of us. These are games that require either no reading or minimal reading and are actually fun. Even better, all of them are under $20! In fact, only two are above $10 and the last two are less than $5. Go ahead, pop some popcorn and prepare for a fun family game night for all ages!

Toilet Trouble

My son received this game from a friend for his 5th birthday. We weren’t sure if it would be too messy or what we would think about it, but my kids fell in love with it. In fact, when I told them I was writing about our favorite family games, this is the first one they both named! It’s a simple game where you spin a roll of toilet paper to see how many times you have to flush a toilet that is filled with water. At random times the flush will make water squirt out of the toilet, in which case the player is eliminated. The last player standing is the winner. It’s completely random and not skill based, so age and experience really don’t matter one bit.

I suggest keeping a dish towel on hand to wipe off the spills that happen sometimes as little ones excitedly pass the toilet back and forth and wipe faces when they get sprayed, but it isn’t too messy to play inside or even at a dining room table that has carpet underneath. Our whole family has enjoyed this game, including my parents who have played it with us as well. My mom got such a kick out of it with my kids that she purchased it for my brother’s kids, too!

Rory’s Story Cubes

This one is fun and simple. It could be played almost anywhere. In fact, this is one that we tend to play in the living room. Each player gets a couple of six-sided dice that have different images on each side. At the beginning of a round, everyone rolls their dice. The first person begins a story based around one of the images they rolled. We usually start with the youngest and then rotate who starts the story from there. Each person builds on the story based on their images on the dice. 

The nice thing with this game is that it’s fun (and can get silly!) but doesn’t have a winner. It’s a cooperative effort for the whole family. It’s one of those games where you never have to try and soothe the hurt feeling of a loser, because there are no losers!

Family Feud Strikeout Card Game

This is based off of the television show. This one works better if you have a few more players, but you can play it with four players. If it’s just the four of us, we play more often cooperatively. But when we played it with my parents a few months ago, we teamed up three to a team. It does require a bit of reading, but it wasn’t an issue to my son. Since we were on teams, we helped him with the words and then he was able to come up with some good answers for the questions.

Hungry, Hungry Hippos

This one is a classic, but it really is still a hit with my family. I will say that my husband and I tire of this one before the kids do, but we get in a few good rounds with it and play some variations sometimes. There is one yellow ball for the hippos to eat and the rest are red. One version is that whoever gets the yellow ball wins, but that doesn’t go over quite so well with my kiddos. We have modified it so that the yellow ball is just worth 2 points instead of one. We also take turns on who gets to say “Go!” on this one to help keep it fair.

Go Fish

While you can play Go Fish with a regular deck of cards, there are all sorts of variations that make it more fun for little ones. Years ago, we found a version that was dinosaurs that my kids have enjoyed, but there are so many versions for whatever your family enjoys!

For example, there is a sea life version, an educational learn the alphabet version, a safari animal version that includes instructions for Old Maid as well and even a Bible version!

11 ways to help kids deal with the death of a loved one

In May of 2016, our beloved family dog had to be put to sleep after a short battle with an aggressive cancer that couldn’t be treated. In May of 2017, my last remaining grandparent — my maternal grandmother — passed away after a few months battling varying issues. A couple of days ago, my uncle died after dealing with kidney cancer over the last year. While cancer makes you think we’d be prepared, we weren’t. His treatment had actually gone well overall. When complications started a couple of weeks ago, even those seemed to be resolved. Until overnight everything changed and within 12 hours, he was in heaven. 

Dealing with these loses has been difficult. Each time, in the midst of my own grief, one of my first thoughts has been, “How are we going to tell the kids?” Because grief with kiddos is hard, and they were very close to each of these loved ones. I want to protect them and shelter them from every hurt that can happen in this imperfect world. I want to make it all better for them. Yet, that isn’t one bit how it works. I know there are articles and books written on grief with kids. I know there are actual experts on the topic. I am certainly not, but I do know what dealing with grief looks like in our family. And from that experience, I offer some thoughts.

Give yourself time to process the loss.
I have found it’s important to not tell my children until I’m ready to have a conversation without sobbing. My husband and I need time to process the loss first before we can talk to them. This has happened in various amounts of time based on the situation. But usually, it has been within 12 to 24 hours. 

Use the right words.
Once we are ready to talk, then we sit down together as a family without distractions and try to be as straightforward as possible using words like “die” and “death,” so they understand what we mean. Little kids, especially, don’t understand or know euphemisms such as “passed away.”

Talk about heaven.
We talk about how our loved ones, especially in each of their situations, are no longer in pain. We talk about how they can run free. As the losses have continued to accumulate, we even talk about our loved ones interacting in heaven. We talk about how good it is for them there. We talk about how we can be happy for them but sad for us and that is OK.

Discuss different reactions and emotions.
My son is the youngest of our family. He was 3 when our dog died, 4 when my grandma died and now is 5. He processes things very matter-of-factly and doesn’t quite get all the feelings right away. My daughter was 6, 7 and 9 during these losses and understands them differently. She immediately tears up. We talk about how it’s OK to cry and it’s OK to not cry. We talk about how sometimes we feel like crying when it surprises us or sometimes we don’t cry when we think we would. There is no wrong way to have feelings during losing a loved one. Sometimes sadness comes out in tears and sometimes in other ways. My older brother, for example, was almost 4 when our paternal grandpa died and my mom said his first reaction was anger. And that’s OK, too.

Let kids see your emotions.
I don’t often cry in front of my children. I have times of getting teary or choked up, but outside of these losses, I’ve not really cried in front of them. I think it’s important for them to see my tears and be reassured that any sadness they are feeling is OK and they aren’t alone. My husband usually displays his sadness without as many tears, because that’s more his nature and that’s OK, too.

Let them ask questions. 
After we give them the information, talk about heaven and emotions, we also make sure to ask if they have questions. I have been surprised sometimes at where their minds go and the things they wonder about. We are also honest when they ask questions that we don’t know like “Why did God want them in heaven now?”

We also reassure them that if they think of questions later or just want to talk about it or whatever, they are free to come to us any time. And we keep that open. It has pierced my heart a couple of times as they have brought up things later on that brings that grief coming back fresh, but I want them to have the freedom they need to process it in whatever amount of time it takes them or in whatever way they need to.

Address their fears. 
Sometimes our kids have brought fears up, but sometimes we have brought them up first. For example, we are quick to remind them that the kind of sickness our loved ones had was more than just a regular sickness and they don’t have anything to worry about if one of us gets sick with a cold or virus. Since I’ve had a few surgeries in these last few years, we are also careful about correlating a surgical procedure to death. It’s a pretty quick and easy leap for kiddos to start thinking sickness or surgery equal death. 

Follow their lead. 
Kids are so very resilient. Each time we have dealt with a loss, I am amazed at how quickly they shift gears from being sad to wanting to do something else. While my husband and I still need to deal with our grief in different ways, we do our best to move on with them to another activity. We have learned to plan something as a distraction each time that we can offer to get everyone shifting gears, even if it’s just going out to dinner. 

Talk about ways to be proactive. 
We try to also talk about how grief is hard. We don’t diminish that, because grief is really stinking hard. But we also assure them that we will get through this and it will get easier. And we talk about something we can do. For example, when my grandma died, we talked about how my mom and aunt would be feeling sad and maybe the kids could give them extra hugs. This week we’ve talked about coloring pictures and making sweet treats for my aunt to remind her that she isn’t alone.

Don’t push; just be there. 
While I have been surprised by my kids’ resilience and ability to shift gears, I have also been surprised at various times they bring up the loss and how they are sad. It pops out at odd times sometimes, just like it does for grown-ups. While my daughter has been older and tended to cry a bit with the information, she has moved on pretty well during the day. But then bedtime comes and she tends to struggle more. Last night, she crept back downstairs and was feeling very sad. So we just sat snuggled on the couch for a while, neither one of us talking. Sometimes sitting together in silence is the best. And then I gently helped her think of some other things to help her be able to move forward into going to sleep. 

Know when they need grace. 
This one can be a bit tricky to assess sometimes, but my kids get extra grace for their behavior and words when we are dealing with a loss. I need extra grace for my behavior and words. I know I’m not at my best and that sometimes I get grumpier much more than I would usually. I don’t expect them to be any different. So sometimes when they do something that would usually merit a strict punishment, they get off lighter or get a reminder that isn’t how we are supposed to behave. If it keeps happening, especially in one day, we stop and ask them questions about how they’re feeling. They don’t get carte blanche permission to do whatever they want to without consequence, but they do definitely get some grace along the way. 

Losing a loved one hurts. Each time, I have wished I could take the hurt away from my children and told them as much. But we’ve also talked about how it hurts because we had so much love, and love is a good thing. We have talked about good memories and how we’ll always have those memories. We have mourned together and even found some laughter in the midst of mourning. I really do wish I could take the grief for them, but I also want to do my best to prepare them for loss since hurt and grief is a part of the world.

I don’t have all the answers and am not an expert at dealing with grief myself. Sometimes I’m good at distracting myself and pretending if I don’t think about it that it will go away. (That never works, by the way.) But I have learned more and more through the years that sometimes I have to just let myself feel all the feels and be broken down in order to start healing. I have shared that with my children to an extent according to their ages. I have also learned, though, that no matter how hard and painful this stuff is that God is always there. He is always ready to comfort me. He hears me when I get a phone call with news and can only pray “Jesus” over and over because my heart is broken. In the end, as always, Jesus remains the answer to grief whether it’s my own or my children’s. I pray that they realize that and see me living that out, in spite of the times when I mess up.

A parent’s prayer — FREE printable!

How to pray for yourself as a parent

About two years ago, a friend of mine shared a prayer for parents on social media. I really liked it, and I have been using it ever since. I’ve been curious about its origins, so I did a bit of research and found that a version of the prayer first ran in the Dear Abby column in 1971. A slightly revised version ran again in 1980. 

But it has evolved a bit and changed. I have tweaked it ever so slightly and now have this version that I pray regularly. I am a big fan of a prayer app. I know it sounds weird. It sounded weird to me, too, but then I tried it and fell in love with it. The one I use and love is called PrayerMate, which is available for free both Apple and Android users.

Basically, I utilize my prayer app for Biblical-based or pre-written prayers, like this parent’s prayer, as well as to organize requests from friends that I may forget to add into my daily conversations with God. I end up actually praying more for requests this way than I did before. And I have found I can also relax in my talks with God because I don’t have to try to scramble and remember ongoing prayers and prayer requests. I know my app will rotate through them.

I have also been blessed by God’s timing when a request comes up in my prayer app for a person or situation in the morning and then later that day I find out the person or situation has really needed extra prayer that day. I see that as more than a coincidence — it’s a God thing!

I also have my app set to remind me every morning to spend some extra time in prayer after my kids are off to school. I utilize it during my usual Bible and prayer time as well. It just comes in handy. You can set as many or as few subjects as you want. The app offers prayers to pick from as well. I’m sure there are other prayer apps that work well, too.

Of all the prayers I’ve come across, this parent’s prayer is one of my favorites. It reminds me so very much of my job and responsibility as a parent. It reminds me of what is important in parenthood. It reminds me to place all of it at God’s feet so that I can be a better parent to my children with His strength and direction. I’ve made it into a free printable for you to download, so you can join me in this prayer for our parenthood journey as well. Just click the image below!

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