An introvert’s advice on making mom friends

I still remember standing at kindergarten pick-up for my oldest, watching groups of moms laugh together while I clutched my toddler’s hand and smiled politely at strangers. My heart ached with a familiar loneliness I didn’t expect motherhood would bring.

If you’ve ever felt invisible in a crowd of other moms, you’re not alone. Making friends as an adult is hard. Making friends as a Christian mom—when you’re exhausted, covered in spit-up and can barely remember the last time you had an uninterrupted conversation—feels nearly impossible.

But here’s what I’ve learned through the loneliness and the awkward first conversations: God created us for connection. And while learning how to make friends as a Christian mom takes intentionality and courage, it’s one of the most life-giving things we can do for ourselves and our families.

You don’t have to navigate motherhood alone. Friendship is possible, even in this busy, overwhelming season.

Why friendship matters for Christian moms

We weren’t designed to do life in isolation. From the very beginning, God looked at Adam in Genesis 2:18 and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

That need for companionship doesn’t disappear when we become mothers. If anything, it intensifies.

The Bible gives us a beautiful picture of what friendship can be:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)

Christian moms need that kind of friend—someone who will help us up on the hard days, celebrate with us on the good ones and remind us of God’s grace when we’re struggling.

Friendship isn’t a luxury for mothers. It’s a lifeline.

When we’re connected to the body of Christ and rooted in genuine community, we become better moms, better wives and more grounded in our faith. We need women who will pray for us, laugh with us and show up with coffee (or chocolate!) when life feels too heavy to carry alone.

Understanding different types of friendships

Not all friendships look the same, and that’s actually a beautiful thing. As Christian moms, we need different kinds of friends for different seasons and needs.

Friendships within the faith

There’s something sacred about friendships with other Christian women who share your faith and values. These are the moms who understand when you say, “I’m praying about it,” or “I really felt the Holy Spirit nudging me.”

They’re the ones who will text you a Bible verse on a hard day or show up to your small group even when they’re exhausted.

Christian mom friends can become kindred spirits who walk alongside you in both motherhood and faith. Whether it’s through a Bible study, a church mom’s group or simply another family at your local church, these friendships ground us in community and remind us we’re part of something bigger.

When I was in the baby and toddler phase of mothering, a woman from my church invited me to a small Bible study meeting at a friend’s home. I was hesitant to go at first, but my soul ached for connection and community.

That’s exactly what I found, and I’m so glad. It’s now more than a decade later and our group no longer meets for study but is always available to message with prayer requests or give big hugs when we see one another.

Friendships beyond the church

Non-Christian friends can be incredible gifts, too. God places people in our lives for mutual respect, common ground and genuine connection. And sometimes those people don’t share our faith background.

I’ve made great connections with other moms at library story times, arranging play dates for my children and sitting on the school playground. These friendships have taught me about grace, hospitality and loving people well.

They’ve challenged me to live out my faith authentically without being preachy, and they’ve shown me that kindness and companionship aren’t limited to the walls of the church.

Different friendships bring different gifts. Some friends are perfect for deep spiritual conversations. Others are the ones you text memes to at 10 pm. Both matter.

Practical ways for how to make friends as a Christian mom

OK, let’s get real. Knowing you need friends and actually making them are two different things. Here are some doable, realistic ways to start building new friendships. This is something I’ve struggled with a LOT.

But, I promise, these tips will work even if you’re an introvert (like me) or haven’t made a new friend since high school.

Pray about it

You may be thinking that sounds like a trite, Sunday School kind of tip, but stick with me here. I have struggled with friendships throughout my lifetime. Yet, it wasn’t until a few years ago that it occurred to me to pray about it.

I had a “duh” moment of realizing that if God created me (and all of us) for community, then He wanted me to find that community. He knows me more than I know me.

I might think I’m awkward, quiet and kind of weird, but I am who God made me, and He doesn’t make junk. I knew there had to be people out there I could connect with.

So I started praying about it. I asked God to open my eyes to connections and give me courage to reach out to others. And He did.

Before you start trying to make some steps toward friendships, talk to God.

Start where you already are

You don’t have to join 10 new things to make mom friends. Who has that time?!

Look at where you already spend time. Do you go to the same coffee shop every week? Chat with the other moms there.

Does your child attend a soccer game or take classes somewhere? Strike up a conversation while you’re waiting.

A lot of times, the best friendships start in the places we already frequent. Your local church, the library story time, even the grocery store are all great places to meet other moms who are navigating the same season.

Make the first move

This is the hardest part, I know. But someone has to take the first step, and it might as well be you. Smile. Introduce yourself. Compliment another mom’s patience or her kid’s adorable shoes.

Then—and this is key—ask for a phone number or suggest getting together. “Would you want to grab coffee sometime?” or “We should plan a playdate!” It feels vulnerable, but most moms are craving connection just as much as you are.

I’ve learned that most people are relieved when someone else makes the first move. They’ve been waiting for permission to reach out, too.

And others may blow you off, but that’s OK, too. You still made progress by reaching out in the first place, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Join a group in person

Small groups are one of the best ways to build consistent friendships. Whether it’s a Bible study at church, a book club or a local moms’ group, joining something structured takes the pressure off.

Groups give you regular touchpoints with the same women, which is how acquaintances become true friends. You don’t have to overthink it. You just show up consistently and let friendships develop naturally.

Make sure to actually give the group a solid try. I have been tempted to stop going to groups after the first meeting when I felt awkward and didn’t know who to talk to or what to say.

Remember that in-home Bible study I talked about? The first meeting was OK, but I also felt a bit awkward, because that’s who I am.

Yet, I’m so glad I kept going and gave it a fair shake. It made a huge impact in my life both practically and spiritually.

Join a group online

In-person connection is important, but connection in general matters. I met a group of moms through a forum for expectant moms back when I was pregnant with my oldest (who just turned 16!).

That group spun off and I have a few of those mamas with whom I still talk regularly about life and faith. I have watched their kids grow up from afar as they have mine. They’ve been great support for questions about parenting, since we’re in the same phase with parenting at least one of our kiddos.

Online communities can also be a great place to connect. Social media can be a starting point for how to make friends as a Christian mom—especially for long-distance friendships or when you need encouragement at 2 a.m.

My own experiences inspired and helped me so much, that I’ve created my own group for Christian moms. Check out and join the free and private Christian Moms with Grace Facebook group!

Invite imperfectly

Here’s the truth: your house doesn’t have to be clean, and you don’t need to have it all together to invite someone over. Some of my deepest friendships have been built over messy living rooms and store-bought cookies.

Hospitality isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. Invite a new mom over for coffee. Suggest meeting at a coffee shop if your home feels too chaotic.

Plan a field trip to the park or children’s museum with another family. Just create space for connection, however imperfect it might be.

Look for common interests and common ground

Friendship grows faster when you share something in common. Maybe it’s a similar parenting style, a shared love of hiking or both being new to the area. Maybe you’re both navigating the challenges of a new baby or adjusting to life in a new city.

Finding common ground doesn’t mean you have to be identical. It just means you have something to build on. Even shared struggles can become the foundation for deep connection.

I once connected with a mom at the playground over struggles with managing constipation for one of my kids. Mom life can bring connections in the oddest ways sometimes!

Expand your comfort zone

If you’ve been doing the same things and seeing the same people, maybe it’s time to try something new. Join a Christian homeschool co-op if you homeschool. Volunteer at your child’s school.

Try a different service time at your church to meet new people. Or maybe even seek God’s will and move toa different church if He so leads. Sometimes you can spend years at a church and not be connected.

You don’t have to become someone you’re not, but gently stretching beyond your comfort zone opens doors to new friendships you wouldn’t have found otherwise.

When friendships are hard or inconsistent

Let’s be honest: adult friendships are complicated. Schedules don’t align. Texts go unanswered for days. A good friend moves to a new place, and suddenly your mom tribe feels smaller.

Some seasons of motherhood are lonelier than others. When you have a new baby, when you’re adjusting to a new town or when life just feels too full, maintaining the kind of friendships you long for is much harder.

Give yourself grace. Give your friends grace, too.

Friendships ebb and flow, and that’s OK. Your best friend from last year might be in a different season now. A group of moms you used to see regularly might drift apart as kids get older and schedules shift. That doesn’t mean the friendship wasn’t real or valuable; it just means life is changing.

And sometimes, despite our best efforts, connection feels impossible. If you’ve tried reaching out and it’s not working, remember that God sees you. He knows the loneliness, and He’s faithful even when friendships feel inconsistent or hard to find.

Keep showing up. Keep being the kind of friend you want to have. And trust that in different places and seasons, God will bring the right people into your life at the right time.

I’ve learned through my life that some friends are for a season. This is true even outside of motherhood.

Some people are situational friends. You’re in the same situation together (work, school, etc.) and you become friends, but once that changes, you drift apart.

It’s OK to let that go and be glad for the time you had together. New seasons can mean new friends. Life is always changing.

You were made for community

Motherhood is beautiful and exhausting and overwhelming. And it was never meant to be walked alone. God designed you for connection, for friendship, for community within the body of Christ and beyond.

Making friends as a Christian mom takes courage. It requires you to be vulnerable, to make the first move, to step outside your comfort zone and risk rejection.

But the reward—genuine connection, true friends who see you and love you and walk beside you—is worth every awkward introduction and every unanswered text. And it makes the initial stress about how to make friends as as Christian mom pale in comparison.

This week, I want to encourage you to take one small step. Send that text. Smile at the mom in the church lobby. Sign up for a small group or a Bible study.

Show up to the birthday party even though you’re tired. Invite someone for coffee, even if your schedule feels impossibly full.

You don’t have to do this perfectly. You just have to start.

God sees your loneliness, and He’s inviting you into something better—a life marked by connection, friendship and grace.

The mom tribe you’re longing for? It’s out there. And it starts with one brave, imperfect step toward someone else.

Struggling with loneliness?

• Learn more about the free Christian Moms with Grace Facebook group.
• Read encouraging Bible verses about loneliness and download the free Bible reading plan.