Encouragement for Christian moms in their relationships

Marriage is one of God’s most beautiful gifts to us, a sacred covenant designed to reflect God’s unconditional love for His people. Yet, as any couple knows, it’s not always easy to live out that kind of unconditional love in marriage.

Thankfully, the Bible provides us with wisdom, encouragement and practical guidance to nurture our marriages with selfless love and mutual respect.

Let’s explore how to embody unconditional love in marriage and build a relationship that both honors God’s command and reflects His steadfast love.

(This post is week two in a Bible study series on love. Find all the details about the free Bible study along with related posts here.)

Love that keeps no record of wrongs

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, often called the “love chapter,” the Apostle Paul gives us a picture of agape love, the selfless, sacrificial love that mirrors God’s love for us:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This kind of love isn’t about feelings or fleeting moments of romantic love. It’s a deliberate choice to prioritize your spouse’s needs over your own and to forgive even when it’s hard.

Forgiveness is vital because bitterness and unresolved conflicts can fracture the sacred covenant of marriage. When we forgive, we follow God’s example of grace and reflect the love of Christ in our homes.

Practical advice for showing unconditional love in marriage

God loves us with unconditional love — meaning that no matter what we do or don’t do, He loves us completely. His intention is for marriage relationships to be the same.

In fact, in numerous Bible verses in the New Testament, God refers to the church as His bride, reflecting that His love and a husband’s love should be similar.

Practice mutual submission.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Ephesians 5:21

This doesn’t mean ignoring your needs or desires, but rather prioritizing your spouse with mutual respect and love.

True mutual submission strengthens strong relationships and demonstrates perfect unity, as Christ is the head of the church and gave Himself up for us.

This looks different in different relationships. It does not mean that one spouse holds all the authority and control over the other.

For my husband and me, mutual submission means we think of each other and prioritize the others’ needs before our own.

Recently, for instance, my husband was overwhelmed with the amount of tasks set before him. I felt quite similar, yet, I wanted nothing more than to make his life easier and offered my help to do whatever possible from his list.

He has certainly done similar things in reverse for me.

Communicate with grace.

How we speak plays an incredibly important role in our relationship, as we’re reminded in Proverbs.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15:1

During a hard time, it’s tempting to snap or retreat, but the best way to resolve conflict is with a gentle spirit. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide your words and cultivate an environment where both of you feel heard and valued.

For those times when one of you is out of sorts and speaks with annoyance or impatience, replying with grace instead of mirroring that attitude can diffuse the situation.

My husband has had times when he realized I was just hungry and grumpy. Instead of getting upset with me, he often helps me figure out why I am out of sorts.

He gives me grace. I do the same for him.

Invest in your marriage daily.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Spending quality time together, praying for each other and showing appreciation are all ways to nurture the love story God has given you.

Remember, even small acts of kindness can reaffirm your commitment to the divine love you vowed on your wedding day.

Recently my husband took over the laundry for me on a day I was out of the house all day. He washed it, dried it and put it away. That speaks volumes of love to me!

Other times, I’ll sit up in bed when we settle in and scratch his back for a while instead of curling up with my book. Small acts can make such a difference.

Choose forgiveness often.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13

Holding onto grudges can create distance, but forgiveness fosters healing and reflects God’s love in your marriage. Let go of bitterness and allow grace to flow freely between you and your spouse.

A friend shared a story with me once of a long-married couple in their 80s. The husband found a shoebox in the top of the closet he’d never noticed before. So, he asked his wife about it.

She told him when they were first married that she decided to write down everything she couldn’t forgive him for and put it in the box.

He opened the box to find it empty. That’s the kind of love and marriage we want to have. One full of forgiveness is one full of love and grace.

Celebrate each other’s strengths.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Philippians 2:3-4

Look for the qualities in your spouse that you admire and affirm them regularly. Recognizing and celebrating their strengths creates an atmosphere of mutual support and encouragement.

I’m my husband’s biggest cheerleader, and he’s mine. Even better is the opportunity to praise each other in front of other people.

We’ve made a commitment to not complain about each other to our friends. Instead, we try to find times to praise and life up each other.

As someone whose love language is words of affirmation, I love hearing these compliments. They encourage me and make me feel loved.

Pray for your spouse and your marriage.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

James 5:16

Pray for your spouse’s needs, dreams and spiritual growth. Inviting God into your marriage allows His divine love to guide and strengthen your bond.

In marriage, you learn a lot about each other. You can use that information in negative ways — like bringing it up during an argument.

Or you can use that information in positive ways — like praying for your husband where you see his specific challenges.

My husband and I know each other better than anyone else. While not only is that a precious relationship, it also allows us to pray for one another in ways no one else would even think of.

Keep God at the center.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Matthew 6:33

Make time to study the Word of God together and allow His truth to shape your marriage. A Christ-centered relationship is rooted in perfect unity and steadfast love, providing strength to weather any storm.

Getting into the Bible together can look different for different relationships and even in different seasons. When we were newlyweds, my husband and I went through a devotion book together.

When we had babies, we connected best just by being at church together. It was a hectic season.

These days, with having children in school, our best ways to connect through our faith is by going to church together, leading a small group together and talking about these things in the car or whenever we have a chance to do so.

Find what works for your relationship.

Encouragement for moms in marriage

As a mom, it’s easy to let your marriage take a backseat to the demands of parenting. But prioritizing your relationship with your husband is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.

When they see you and your spouse loving each other with God’s love, they learn about the essence of God and His design for human beings to live in perfect unity.

The challenges of motherhood can leave you feeling stretched thin, but God’s example of love shows us that love is about action, not just emotion. In Galatians, Paul encourages us:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Galatians 6:9

Even when it feels like your efforts go unnoticed, remember that your commitment to loving your spouse well is a powerful testimony of God’s love.

Take heart, mama. Even on the tough days, God’s grace is sufficient for you.

He is the perfect source of strength and love when you feel like you have nothing left to give. Pray for His guidance to love your spouse well, and trust that He is working in your marriage for His glory.

Daily I pray and ask God to help me be the kind of wife my husband needs.

And in those moments of weariness that will surely come, reflect on these verses:

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

Know God is with you through every moment and can give you strength and patience when yours are running low.

Finally, lean on the Word of God as your foundation. Whether it’s turning to the beautiful Bible verses in Song of Solomon to remind you of the joy of romantic love or finding encouragement in passages about steadfast love, the Holy Book has everything you need to build a marriage rooted in God’s unconditional love.

The more time we spend in the Bible, the better we know God. The better we know God, the more His love can flow through our lives.

A prayer for your marriage

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and the opportunity to reflect Your great love through this sacred relationship. Help me to love my spouse as You love us—with patience, kindness and forgiveness. Strengthen our bond and guide us in living out Your design for marriage. May my home be filled with divine love, mutual support and perfect unity, all for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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