Making the best changes for who you are

When to change your values and habits

Right now, the world is changing, everything thing is crazy and it’s hard to be yourself anymore. People are beginning to change who they are to fit in or for the world around them. People do need to change sometimes, that’s true. But, I’m seeing people change in a way they shouldn’t have to.

Making the best changes for who you are is a good thing sometimes. I mean, the Grinch changed wonderfully! But then in other cases, change isn’t so great. If you stop being yourself so someone likes you, then that’s not a great change.

Changing values

It’s OK to change your values when necessary. For example, if Sally doesn’t value honesty and lies to her friends all the time pretending she’s rich or knows all these celebrities, she may want to make honesty a core value for her. This is making Sally a better and happier person.

However, if Jennifer is changing the way she acts and her personality to get her crush to like her, her core values of reliability and honesty are changing. Those are values that Jennifer shouldn’t change. If she starts lying and changing who she is between different people, then is it really in her best interest? Is she becoming a better person — or a fake person?

Values should be changed sometimes, but not so much in others. What are core values that you don’t want to change?

Changing habits

Much like changing our values, sometimes we need to change our habits as well. For example, Lena has dessert every night after dinner. She knows that this isn’t healthy. If Lena changes her habit of dessert to a habit of going on a walk, that’s a good thing. She’s breaking a bad habit to make her a healthier and happier person.

But, if Selina has a habit of giving people compliments when she meets them and her friend Delilah says not to, should she change that? I honestly don’t think she should. Selina is being kind and spreading love! As followers of Christ, this is something that we should do. Now, if she doesn’t mean the kind things she says, then she needs to be more intentional about what she says. Overall this is a habit Selina should probably keep, even if Delilah says not to.

Bad habits can be changed and technically good habits can, too, but they are called good habits for a reason. Why change them?

Changing who you are

I have one word for you: never. You may need to change personality, hence Scrooge, but honestly I would just call that a change of heart. However, you’re beautiful. Everyone is perfect, and I love each and every one of you. It’s probably impossible for me to stress this enough. You. Are. Loved. Got it? Because I can repeat it a thousand plus times if I need to. OK?

Anyway, lovelies, some things you can change as you grow, but remember who you are, and that you are loved.

Girls with Grace, a tween blog written by a tween girl, has new posts on Tuesdays two to four times a month. Find out more about Girls with Grace:

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