You’ll relate to these truths about motherhood that are both poignant and humorous!
Once I became a mom, I suddenly understood all the unsolicited motherhood advice that other moms dole out. You just have all this information inside of you that you want to share with a woman about to have her first baby. You want to chat about it with other moms to make sure you aren’t the only one with these feelings or struggles.
I’ve compiled a long list of motherhood truths. The first 35 I wrote when my kids were 3-1/2 years and 5 months old. You’ll find relatable truths that are sentimental, humorous or both! Keeping a sense of humor in motherhood is vital for survival.
(And thanks to a couple of readers who gave me some motherhood truths to share as well!)
Truths from the early years of motherhood
Motherhood truth #1: You’ll have many moments when your husband, your children and your dog all need something from you at the exact same time. This is usually when you’re doing a frivolous activity like making dinner or washing laundry or going to the bathroom.
Motherhood truth #2: Speaking of going to the bathroom, you’ll wonder if you will ever have privacy again.
Motherhood truth #3: Knowing that one day you will miss having an entourage follow you throughout the house and adoring fans crying for you from another room doesn’t make it any easier to deal with right now.
Motherhood truth #4: You will have moments when you’ll wonder why on earth you ever taught your preschooler to talk since she never stops talking. Ever. Ever, ever.
Motherhood truth #5: You will be amazed at how many tasks you can accomplish and have no memory of when you’re sleep deprived.
Motherhood truth #6: You will sometimes tear up because you have so much love for your little people that your heart overflows and can’t contain it. This even happens at 2 a.m. when you’ve been up since 7 a.m. the previous day.
Motherhood truth #7: You will always feel guilty about something. You will beat yourself up over every single thing you do and every single thing you don’t do. Mommy guilt is ever-present and sometimes all-consuming. Watch out for it!
Motherhood truth #8: You will find yourself saying things you never dreamed you would like: “Your Crocs are in my bedroom with corn in them.” Or, “If you fall and hurt yourself, I’m not going to help you.”
Motherhood truth #9: You will have more fun playing with your kids than you did playing when you were a child.
Motherhood truth #10: You will be glad to have given birth and yet somehow miss being pregnant at the same time — even when you had a miserable pregnancy.
Motherhood truth #11: Just like mommy guilt, mommy worries are also always present, especially with the first baby. You’ll worry if she’s sleeping too much. You’ll worry she’s not sleeping enough. It won’t make any sense, but it will happen.
Motherhood truth #12: You will channel your mom. Enough said.
Motherhood truth #13: You will lose yourself for a while after the baby is born, but you’ll come back. Slowly, over time, you become more you again, yet different in a way you’re OK with.
Motherhood truth #14: You’ll have the super power of being able to touch hot plates without grimacing. I don’t know how this ties into motherhood, but it’s true. My hands can stand much more heat now than ever before. Maybe I’m just too tired to care about getting burnt.
Motherhood truth #15: You won’t remember a darn thing. Mommy brain is real. I keep multiple lists and set multiple calendar items and reminders on my phone to pretend like I’m organized. You won’t remember a darn thing. (Did I already say that? I don’t remember!)
Motherhood truth #16: You will need an extra half hour to get out of the house — at least. Because there is always a diaper that needs to be changed as soon as everyone is ready or a sippy cup that needs to be filled or a doll that needs to be found.
Motherhood truth #17: You will sing children’s songs in your head all the time whether it’s in the middle of the night when you’re up for the bathroom or to feed the baby or whether you’re on a date with your husband (and if your husband is like mine, he’ll sing right along with you!).
Motherhood truth #18: Speaking of husbands, you’ll be overwhelmed at how much more you can love him when you see him holding your baby. And you’ll also be overwhelmed at how irritated you can get at him, but remember hormones and sleep deprivation make even the best husband seem annoying. This applies to all relatives and even random strangers, too.
Motherhood truth #19: You have an inner mama bear that will come out when riled. I have stood up to folks I never speak up to when my child’s happiness was at stake. I would take on anyone who tried to mess with either of my babies and I mean anyone!
Motherhood truth #20: You won’t be grossed out very easily. In fact, you’ll do gross things and not even give them a second thought. Leaving the house with spit-up on your shirt is the least of them.
When my son was a newborn, I literally caught a bowel movement in my hand as he started to go while I was changing him. My reasoning was that it was much easier to clean my hands off than have to clean it off the changing table pad. Only later did I even think, “Hey, that was probably gross.”
Motherhood truth #21: You’re on a long journey. You’ll have good days and bad. And sometimes they happen all in the same day. Don’t get bogged down by the bad moments. Know that it really is worth it and whatever phase you’re in really does end.
Motherhood truth #22: Life really won’t ever be the same again. Having a child changes you forever. Life is no longer about you but all about the little people you gave birth to. It’s OK to mourn the loss of life as you knew it. Just don’t get stuck there and miss enjoying the life you have now — or at least the really good parts of it!
Motherhood truth #23: You must have a sense of humor. Keep a sense of humor about the trials and challenges of motherhood, pregnancy and childbirth. Own it. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you will cry. But, sometimes you can laugh instead.
Motherhood truth #24: Keeping a sense of humor is also important because there is never enough energy or time for a good cry.
Motherhood truth #25: You will develop a keen radar and be able to find your child’s favorite toy in a pile of a million toys strewn all around your house. At all times I know where my daughter’s favorite doll is and my son’s favorite ball is. Seriously.
Motherhood truth #26: You will hone ninja-like abilities to move silently out of your baby’s room after a 30-minute battle to get him to sleep.
Motherhood truth #27: You will apologize to your parents for fighting sleep, talking back or simply just being alive after dealing with your children. Just this week I texted my mother to apologize for fighting sleep. She’s told me my son reminds her of me as a baby. I’m so sorry for that for her. I’m even more sorry for that for me sometimes!
Motherhood truth #28: You will wonder how you ever thought you were busy before. I remember before having kids I felt like I was so busy all the time. I laugh at that idea now. Heck, I thought I was so busy with one baby. Now when I have only the baby to deal with, it feels like free time. And he’s a much needier baby than my daughter was.
Motherhood truth #29: If you breastfeed, you’ll be surprised at all the places milk can end up. You’ll be equally surprised at all the places spit-up can end up as well. This is probably true for bottle feeding as well!
Motherhood truth #30: You will be surprised at how much you praise bodily functions. Sometimes that will carry over to others. I have literally said to my husband before, “That was a good burp-y.” Yeah. It happens.
Motherhood truth #31: You will share “looks” with other moms at Target when their child is whining. While before you might have looked on with judgment, now you look on with empathy and, internally, are just plain relieved your child isn’t the offender at the moment.
Motherhood truth #32: You will want to smack anyone who does anything to wake up your baby. You may think I’m exaggerating, but I’ve had to refrain from putting the smackdown on the pizza delivery guy who returned unannounced for us to sign a receipt right after we got the baby to sleep and were about to indulge in pizza and a movie on a date night.
Or the family friend who insisted on stroking the baby’s arm when she saw us at a restaurant and our food had just arrived and he was happily asleep for once. Or the dog who stands outside the baby’s door and barks for no apparent reason. I could go on.
Motherhood truth #33: You will refer to yourself in the third person. Worst of all for someone like me, you will intermix third and first person. For example, “Mommy needs to take a shower. When I get out, we’ll make sure you didn’t burn down the house.” OK, I haven’t actually said that, but you get my point.
Motherhood truth #34: You will feel as if you should get awards for various things that no one would ever think of giving awards for. Like an award for showering, bathing the children, making dinner, doing laundry, paying bills or refraining from telling your child to shut up. Small tasks become so very monumental.
Motherhood truth #35: You will survive. Well, I’m pretty sure you will. So far I have survived and it’s been just over 3 and 1/2 years. I also know plenty of moms who have grown children, so I like to think that survival of motherhood is possible.
Truths from the school-aged years of motherhood
Motherhood truth #36: (From Kayla, a mom of four) Your kids will always ask you for what they need, even if your husband is closer to them. They’ll even call and ask you a question if you’re at work and their dad is home with them.
Motherhood truth #37: (From Kayla, a mom of four) You are the only one who can see dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and a house that needs cleaned.
Motherhood truth #38: (From Melissa, a mom of three) Parenting is harder than anyone can ever explain. (It never gets easier.) Just like no one can ever explain how much you will love your child.
Motherhood truth #39: (From Kayla, a mom of four) Motherhood is the hardest and most rewarding job ever!
Motherhood truth #40: (From Kayla, a mom of four) You’ve got to have downtime and evening snuggles while watching Disney is the way to go!
Motherhood truth #41: You will have parent homework, meaning projects and such that rely on you to organize and manage them. While you may think you have passed kindergarten or second grade before, you will find yourself helping with the work yet again. Don’t fight it and gripe about it — or you’ll just make yourself miserable. (I speak from experience here…)
Motherhood truth #42: You don’t have to be friends with the parents of your children’s friends. Being friendly with them and knowing them is a good plan, especially if you are going to let your kids go to their houses. But just because your kiddos are BFFs doesn’t mean that you will be, too!
Motherhood truth #43: Some truths about your children remain the same from the time they are little until they get older. My son — the challenging sleeper as a baby — still has trouble sleeping. My daughter — the chatty preschooler — is now a chatty 4th grader.
Motherhood truth #44: Even if you’re the first one up each morning, chances are really good you’ll be the last one to get ready since you help everyone else along the way.
Motherhood truth #45: Watching your children perform anything anywhere will make your heart burst with pride, even if they aren’t exceptionally great at what they’re doing. It doesn’t matter. They are up there and you’ll realize afterward that your jaws can get sore from smiling too much.
Motherhood truth #46: Even when your kiddos seem so big compared to the babies and toddlers they were, they still revert to those same sweet faces and want you when they aren’t feeling well. The only difference is now you soak it up all that much more because those moments are more fleeting than they once were.
Motherhood truth #47: Your son may have just turned 7, but you still have a bit of PTSD from his early days as a reflux baby who did very little sleeping at night. You will do your best not to hold this against him.
Motherhood truth #48: Traveling with your kids gets easier as they get older. You no longer have to lug half your household along and they are much more flexible.
Motherhood truth #49: If you kids are going to get a stomach bug, at least 90% of the time it doesn’t start until after bedtime and often after midnight.
Motherhood truth #50: You’ll plan what outfits your kids will wear for big events (or family photos) and then scramble around at the last minute deciding what you’re going to wear.
Motherhood truth #51: Watching your children play together is an awesome feeling. Seeing them treat each other with love and kindness is the best feeling!
Motherhood truth #52: Growth spurts will strike at unexpected times — like right after you just finished buying them clothes for the season or one month before the season ends. (I just had to start buying more winter clothes for my son because he got taller, even though warm weather is on its way!)
Motherhood truth #53: Once you stock up on a food your kids have been in love with for weeks, they’ll decide they don’t like it so much. OK, not every time, but many times!
Motherhood truth #54: You’ll get a better understanding of God’s love and greatness. I marvel at how much I love my children and can’t fathom how it’s possible He loves them even more.
Motherhood truth #55: Even being their mom first, you’ll have times you get to be their friend and it’s just plain fun. I love getting a chance to just hang out with my kids, especially one-on-one, and taking off my mom hat to just be with them doing something fun together.
Motherhood truth #56: You’ll wonder how shoes and socks can disappear so easily, even with set spots for them to go. You’ll begin to wonder if elves appear overnight and move things around!
Motherhood truth #57: You’ll have to work past grudges against other kids who didn’t treat your own very well even when they work through the issue and become good friends.
Motherhood truth #58: Great memories are often made in the small moments. Earlier this week, we spent a few days at an indoor water park on the kids’ spring break. They had so much fun, but I think the memory I’ll most hang onto is lying in bed with them, eating mini muffins and watching “The Golden Girls” (their pick!) on our last morning in the hotel.
Motherhood truth #59: You’ll learn so many lessons from your children. I have been astounded at the spiritual insights my kids have. I have been humbled and blessed in hearing them pray for me, our family and big issues in the world.
Motherhood truth #60: Being a mom is the most exhausting and draining job on the planet. But it’s also the best job you can ever imagine. The rewards far surpass the challenges.