Christian encouragement for single moms

The “Moms with Grace” series takes a look at modern Christian moms and how they handle daily life with raising children. You’ll find monthly posts from married and single moms with older kids, younger kids and all those in between. Let real-life moms encourage and uplift you!

Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps support my blog. Thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

A couple of months ago, I first connected with Dr. Real N. Kunene in a social media group for Christian mompreneurs. I was honored to participate as a speaker in her recent summit on successful parenting. As we connected, I knew Dr. Kunene would be a perfect fit for the Moms with Grace series.

Dr. Kunene’s background

Dr. Kunene is a single mom (since 2016) of two kiddos who are 8 and 10. She’s also an international human rights policy analyst and a diplomacy and protocol specialist who consults on policies and procedures related to protocol, diplomacy and human rights compliance.

This passionate leader holds a Ph.D. with a discipline in leadership and business. She is also a highly sought after, energetic, certified Les Brown international speaker. Dr. Kunene empowers motivated professionals and entrepreneurs with the tools they need to rise to greater heights as they start, grow and scale their business. Her vision is to motivate and empower audiences with a fresh perspective while inspiring them to pursue success and drive sustainable outcomes, in a seriously funny way.

Dr. Kunene is an award-winning, international bestselling author with 10 number one books on Amazon. Her bestselling book “Rise to Greater Heights” has inspired and empowered many to pursue their personal and professional passion to become go-getters.

As a trainer, diplomacy protocol officer and strategist, Dr. Kunene believes we are in full control of our choices. Her mission is to meet the needs and transform lives of her clients and her audience. This change-maker, trailblazer and revolutionary is pushing boundaries and creating a real change worldwide. Like a phoenix that never accepted defeat and rose from its own ashes, she wants to challenge you to unleash your greatness and rise to greater heights.

Dr. Kunene is inspired by Hebrews 11, Psalms 27 and Psalms 40 to stay motivated and continue pursuing her dreams. She took time out of her busy schedule to share profound words of wisdom for single moms, especially. But no matter your marital status or phase of parenthood, I know you’ll be blessed and encouraged to rise to greater heights!

How have you changed from the beginning of your mom journey until now?

Motherhood has been such an adventurous journey. I so wish I could still sleep in on weekends and wake up at 11a.m.! From the beginning of my mom journey until now I’ve learnt how to let go of things by establishing limits and boundaries between family and work.

We must create boundaries of protection between our work and family, which will give us space for other thoughts and ideas to emerge. Trying to be everything to everyone only ensures failure; but, cutting ties with the outside world occasionally allows us to recover from weekly stress. Boundaries hold the line to protect your work from the distraction of family. Taking time to unwind is critical to success and will help you feel more energized when you’re on the clock.

Cut out the things in your life that are stressing you out. Then also protect your family involvement from the obligations at work. With clear boundaries, we often find the weight lifted was heavier than we realized. We are also able to have clearer discernment in both our work and personal lives.

How do you find balance day to day?

Daily I remain open to redirect and assess my needs in order to find balance. Sometimes I have to let things go because taking on more work when I’m already stressed out has a negative effect. If we do not make the conscious decision to achieve balance, we will most likely fail along the way because we are not clear on what we expect ourselves to accomplish. We must make an effort to provide ourselves the opportunity for balance, so when we leave the office, we avoid thinking about upcoming projects.

With my struggle to attain the perfect balance between work and family, I’ve learnt that those who do maintain a successful balance often have flexible work schedules. The dilemma of balancing family and work has no easy solution. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. Employers must make it a priority to grant employees access to a wider variety of benefits, because balance is a very personal thing, and only you can decide the lifestyle that suits you best.

Work-life balance will mean different things to different people because, after all, every person and family must find specific solutions to their issues depending on their own preferences and needs. There is nothing wrong with working hard to gain some of the finer things in life, because we all have different life commitments that fit our individual needs and improve our health and well-being.

What are some challenges you’ve faced as a mother? How have you worked to overcome them?

After my divorce in 2016, I found myself inundated by financial demands and my added responsibility posed an even steeper challenge. The main struggle I had was juggling a lot and working long hours trying to find the time and the energy to do all that I needed to do. For me, I used to worry about money constantly, asking myself how anyone can start a business when broke.

The concept of hustling is not a new one. So all the single mothers who are holding down the fort and raising a family by themselves, can start and sustain multi-million dollar organizations given the opportunity.

Raising kids alone is exhausting, as I juggle work while trying to spend as much time with my kids as possible. Lack of support was a reality for me and seeking a balance between finding a babysitter or doing something myself has become an intrinsic part of my life.

The quest for the perfect work-life balance is what hindered me from starting my business. I was terrified. The first few weeks I became a single mom, I felt like I was pulled in a trillion different directions. Trying to do everything on my own left my spirit totally depleted and my nerves on edge. My children and I were having daily meltdowns, and I realized that being a single parent can make the most patient person lose their entire jar of marbles!

Becoming a single mom wasn’t an easy journey, but I had to learn to guide and shepherd my children’s hearts. I know we all make mistakes. I couldn’t survive without the supernatural peace and strength of Jesus. It’s important for me to every day entrust my children’s care to the Lord. And I know I can trust in God to keep His promises and encourage me when I am feeling low.

What business lessons have you learned as a single mom?

When people heard I was a single mom, they thought I could not be successful. These toxic influences are people who tell you that business is hard and you can’t build anything worthwhile. Toxic influences are those people who always remind you that you are a single mom. They assume because you’re a single parent, you must be struggling. I couldn’t change the fact that I was a single mom. However, I could get of all toxic influences out of my life — those people who thought the only thing I should do was take care of my kids without telling me how.

For this reason, I am on a quest to break the stereotype of a single parent and all the negative connotations associated with it, instead of spending time with toxic people who invade my confidence and bring me down.

I showcase to the world that I can be a single mom and still have it all by setting goals for my business and for my life. I was convinced that there are numerous single moms with great experiences, so I decided to wear the hustler hat and created work that is profitable but not visible. The truth is, yes, you can be a single parent and make millions whilst raising your little ones. One essential tool for success in business is confidence and people can smell a lack of it on you.

It wasn’t always easy, but I started strong and self funded by being a certified hustler, and I operated on a budget.

In what ways you have and do you share your faith with your children?

While raising children alone can be a struggle at times, I hold on to God’s Word, which gives me the strength I need to keep going. Being a single mom is not a handicap. Instead of fighting my circumstances, I had to learn to accept it. The Lord is a helper to give wisdom and insight on ministering to our children. He’s available all the time to hear our prayers and act on our behalf.

My children know that prayer is our weapon of warfare. We put God first in everything. They’ve learnt to give and expect nothing in return as we feed the homeless on a quarterly basis. The Lord had always met all of our needs. I learned to find joy through Christ in the midst of a difficult situation.

The Lord embraces the single mother with His incredible love. Through the Holy Spirit, I hear words of truth from the Bible to help me keep pushing ahead. My heavenly Father is lovingly keeping an eye on my children to accomplish great things for the kingdom of God. Thus, my strength in the present is the investment in my children that will reap a beautiful return in the future.  

What are some of your favorite parts of motherhood?

As a single mom entrepreneur, I encouraged myself not to be marginalized by society and looked down on. Very rarely do we see positive images of single parents who are self-sufficient, successful contributors to society. In fact, being a single mom comes with an inbuilt capacity for business success. Because being a single mother is not an easy task, you discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.

Life is all about learning. Being a single parent is twice the work, which makes you stronger than ever before. Don’t get me wrong, I know raising a child on your own can be difficult. However, don’t let the perception of this lifestyle count you out before you even count yourself in.

Overall, being a single parent comes with a wealth of skills that do well in entrepreneurship, and success means being the best parent your kids can have and living your dreams while at it. Through my determination and preservation, I took all my pains and the difficult times to learn and grow stronger. In my kids’ eyes, I turned into a superhero. Being a single parent is not a setback. You have to own your single parent status, find what you love and do it.

What advice do you have for a single mom who wants to start her own business?

Normally, being an entrepreneur is a daunting task, but many men and women are incredibly successful while still looking after their own children by themselves. They’ve learned that when you have an unusual goal, you need an unusual way of thinking. That way of thinking takes you outside your comfort zone, especially when you are broke.

Use the wisdom of other people to help you. Make note of all the things that frustrate you in your daily life, then research creative ways to address those inefficiencies.

Also, look for inspiration everywhere: business coaches, people in networking groups or whoever has knowledge you might need. All it takes is an idea to create a product that changes the world.  

How does grace play a role in your daily life? Do you have any tips or advice for how moms can show more grace to their families?

Life is not about always being spic and span and perfect. I appreciate myself and give myself credit for the way I am bringing up your children. I am happy and content in life. The imperfections of life give life character and show your children your love. They can see what efforts you are putting in for them. Take time to realize how amazing your children have turned out to be and give yourself a pat on the back.

Of course you will have your highs and lows. Just take a look at the way you have brought up your children and remember your children have you and you are more than enough.

Our words have so much power over how our children see themselves, so I lean into the Word and apply it to my everyday life to guide me. Without a doubt raising kids on your own requires an unbelievable amount of strength and courage. But, that single parents can function just as fine or even better than whole families is an accomplishment of itself.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:12-13

What are you most proud of as a mom?

I’m raising God fearing children.

How have you grown from your failures?

At the end of the day, failure should not be our undertaker. Instead failure is an opportunity to begin again, as long as you learn from it. Single mom, you must know what you want from life because you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. Remember that your dreams are valid and all you need to do is fight for them. Beware that the way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. Focus instead the actions needed to be taken and fail fast so you learn what not to do.

And the sooner you realize that failure is a temporary detour, you’ll keep on trying and build the right attitude. Blaming others of not reaching your goals in life can paralyze you and make your dreams become impossible. Please handle failure with dignity because you will not succeed in life without first failing.

Connect with other Christian moms for support and encouragement in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace!

Read more in the series:

Rachael Belle

Linda Mendible

Mandy Farmer

Tips for Christian moms with a good dose of encouragement

The “Moms with Grace” series takes a look at modern Christian moms and how they handle daily life with raising children. You’ll find monthly posts from moms with older kids, younger kids and all those in between. Let real-life moms encourage and uplift you!

Sometimes when you get introduced to someone, you realize you are on the same page right away. That’s how it was for me with Rachael Belle. Rachael publishes a quarterly magazine called “Healing Home” that focuses on Biblical homemaking. She also maintains a related blog and a second site, Healing Home Recipes, where she posts healthy recipes for families.

Along with her online ministry, Rachael is a wife of nine years to Danny and a mom to three boys: Wyatt (5), West (3) and Wylder (8 months). Needless to say, she’s one busy mama! She and her family live on 40 acres in Minnesota where they homestead with gardens, bees, pigs, chickens and turkeys.

Recently she took time out of her jam-packed schedule to answer a few questions for the Moms with Grace series.

Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. This helps support my blog. Thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Can you share a little bit about your marriage?

It’s hard to talk about our marriage without mentioning a turning point that happened for Dan in 2005. At the time Dan was living a very different life. In God’s true sovereignty, He issued Dan a wake-up call in the form of a tree. The only problem with this tree is that it met Dan’s head as he was going 60 MPH on a brand-new Harley Davidson motorcycle.

Dan was found dead on scene. He died again in the ambulance and again on the operating table.

But God is gracious, and he saved my future husband’s life.

Dan’s life changed that night. He woke up with virtually no memory and had to relearn how to walk, talk, write, eat and everything else. Although I was not there during this tumultuous time, I have heard many of the stories. And to this day I marvel at God’s goodness in saving Dan’s life.

I met Dan in 2013 at our church, and we were married the next year.

How have you changed from the beginning of your mom journey until now?

The change in me could be summarized in one word: sanctification.

By no means, do I claim that I have arrived at any ending point of development, but again God is gracious. Motherhood and marriage reveal the sin nature in us in ways that nothing else has for me.

After I had my second child, I found myself seething in anger over the smallest of things. I never would have considered myself an angry person, but those little sinful boys triggered my own sin battle with bitterness, angry and resentment.

The beauty of the gift of motherhood is that God does not leave us helpless as we stand there wondering where all this sin is stemming from. He gave us His Word, other sisters in Christ, community and the church.

The biggest change in me from the beginning of my mom journey until now is God’s grace in my life revealing sin in me and His work in me as I learn to lean into His will for my life.

What are some challenges you’ve faced as a mother? How have you worked to overcome them?

The biggest challenge I have faced in motherhood is learning how to be a wife and a mother.

When Dan suffered his brain injury in 2005 it left his brain with certain damages. The section of our brain that allows us to feel empathy was greatly impacted. Our children need our empathy. When they are crying on the floor in frustration, our empathy is in part what allows us to offer them grace when it is needed.

When I married Dan, I thought I fully understood his brain injury, but I didn’t. I didn’t understand how his brain injury would impact our parenting. In our marriage vows I said, “I love you for you were, who you are and who you will become.” To this day that is the only section of our marriage vows that I remember, and it’s because God has brought them to my mind time and time again. He knew I would need that vow consistently in my head as I learned the balance of being Danny’s wife and my boy’s mother.

Your marriage is a covenant between you, your spouse and God. Your motherhood is a gift.

Out of the deepest of respect for my husband, I will be vague concerning this, but I have shed many tears of frustration and cried out to God in desperation as I have tried to learn the balance of parenting my children with grace when my husband’s brain significantly struggles to connect with empathy.

Yet at the end of the day, God is sovereign. He knew we would face this struggle before the beginning of time. I truly believe that if Danny is pursuing Jesus, I am pursuing Jesus and we are united in our love for our boys, we can conquer anything. If you are struggling in your marriage and parenting, do a deep dive into God’s sovereignty. I believe you will be blessed by the study.

In what ways have you and do you share your faith with your children? (I’d love examples!)

This past year we have started something that has been our number one discipleship tool! We make breakfast together and sit down as a family to enjoy a hearty breakfast and have family devotional time.

My husband can be home on Friday, Saturdays and Sundays, so on those days we sit down as a family of five. Most days we cook farm fresh eggs, bacon and some sort of sourdough bread or roll.

We eat and do a Bible reading or devotional. Our three favorites right now are: The Laugh & Grow Bible for Kids by Phil Vischer, How Great is our God by Louie Giglio and The Really Radical Book for Kids by Champ Thornton.

Sharing our faith comes in seasons, but in all the seasons we should be intentional. I have also used our drive time to listen to kids’ Christian podcasts and have discussions afterward. Our bookshelves are filled to the brim with books by Godly authors like R.C Sproul. His book The Priest with Dirty Clothes recently sparked some truly delightful conversations about our faith! Our faith is woven throughout our day and conversations. We are intentional about showing our kids that our affections should be for Jesus.

What are some of your favorite parts of motherhood?

I have endless favorite parts of motherhood, but truthfully my absolutely favorite part is simply watching them have fun.

Last night we were able to sit on our deck finally after such a long winter. My oldest son was in our field with a toy sword, and he was chopping down the tall grass and pretending to fight a dragon. My youngest was playing by a water table on our deck, and he looked over at me with such a big smile it melted my heart. Finally, I looked over at our middle while who was oblivious to the world. His hind end was sticking up in the air as he was trying to look inside a gopher hole.

It was absolutely perfect. Those are my favorite moments. It’s the moments I just get to enjoy watching them.

How does grace play a role in your daily life? Do you have any tips or advice for how moms can show more grace to their families?

I’m not perfect. Far from it. However, one of my prayers with my mothering is that in the moments where my weakness shows through that God’s strength would be evident.

Grace is a necessity in parenting. I need God’s grace to sustain me throughout the day, and my children need to see grace in my parenting. Grace is not the absence of discipline, but the evidence of it.

I often tell my children when I’m extending grace. It might sound something like this:

Wyatt, mommy messed up today and God extended me grace and forgave me. Right now, you directly disobeyed me, but I want to give you grace like Jesus did for me. Can we both repent and move on with our day?

What are you most proud of as a mom?

Right now, I’m just proud that my children seem receptive to what we have taught them about the Bible and Jesus.

Do you have any resources that help you be a mom with grace? (Music, books, websites, etc.)

I love podcasts and right now one of my favorites is The Art of Home: A Podcast for Homemakers by Allison L Weeks. She has great wisdom as a seasoned homemaker and mother.

Speaking of homemaking, I would love for you to join me in the most important step of my day, Bible reading! Inside my Homemaker Binder Planner (updated monthly) there is a Bible reading section. It has been a JOY to read my Bible with other mothers and homemakers. (P.S. You can still call yourself a homemaker even if you work another job!)

It would be a delight if you decided to join the monthly homemaker planner and joined me in the Bible reading challenge. During the month of May we have worked on reading a Proverb a day.

Do you have anything else to add that we haven’t talked about?

Your home can be a healing place! Allow Jesus to be the builder of your home and abide in him.

Connect with other Christian moms for support and encouragement in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace!

Read more in the series:

Linda Mendible

Mandy Farmer

Tips for Christian moms with a good dose of encouragement

The “Moms with Grace” series takes a look at modern Christian moms and how they handle daily life with raising children. You’ll find monthly posts from moms with older kids, younger kids and all those in between. Let real-life moms encourage and uplift you!

I’m excited to bring you another mom with grace. Recently, I connected with Linda Mendible when I was chosen to be a speaker at her Monetizing Mompreneurs Summit taking place throughout 2023. Linda is a web designer and podcaster with a passion for mompreneurs. She also works with momprenuers to grow both their businesses and their communities.

Linda is also a mom to three kids who are 4, 6 and 9. This year, she and her husband, Franklin, will happily celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary. With three young children, a husband and a successful business, Linda is in the thick of parenthood, marriage and life in general!

Linda has great advice and encouragement for Christian moms.

How have you changed from the beginning of your mom journey until now?

I’m learning so much from being a mom. My kids definitely make me a better person. I’ve learned that we must always keep God first.

What are some challenges you’ve faced as a mother? How have you worked to overcome them?

Andy has been one of my kids that God has definitely tested me with. Aside from a very difficult birth, he was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and they had to call in other nurses to get him to breath. He was also born with a hole in his heart, which by God’s grace, is now completely healed.

When he was just a few months old, he had RSV and was admitted to NICU. At times he gets so sick that it makes it difficult for him to breath. During those times, I see him struggling and have to go through the process of helping him breathe and get some rest. Those days are tough. I do everything I can in those moments but they are the toughest moments when my little ones are sick. I’ve learned to say to myself, “I’ve been here before.”

I cast my cares on Jesus. My children aren’t mine, they are God’s children. I pray God gives me the strength to take care of them, love them and raise them in the way they should go, keeping God first and knowing the truth in Christ.

One of my go-to verses is Psalm 27:25 which says, “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” (NIV)

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me of God’s promises to us. And I remember God’s Word and what He said to Abraham. God told Abraham that his faith was accounted to him as righteousness. My faith is God and in Christ and I know I’m covered by His blood. I remind myself nothing is by my strength, and God does not see my flaws — just as when God told His people to take the lamb’s blood and put it over their door post. God didn’t see the people He saw the blood. It is by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross that allows me to have life and live it more abundantly. God’s Word is the living Word.

In what ways have you and do you share your faith with your children?

My kids know the Lord’s prayer, and we pray at night with them when things are not to hectic. At first I was the one praying the Lord’s prayer and they would repeat what I would say; now they lead the prayers with it. It’s been amazing to see. Sometimes life can give us surprises. They know Jesus loves them, and when things don’t go their way I ask them to pray to God about it. I tell them to ask God for what they want and thank God for all that they have. It really calms them down.

What are some of your favorite parts of motherhood?

That’s a tough question. All moments are my favorite, especially the times we create core memories from. One of my favorite times are when we go to the beach. I just love seeing them play and enjoy themselves; we collect seashells. We have a whole glass vase full of the shells we collected over the years. I can’t wait for summer again.

But then, I also love it when they help me with the garden. We have a small garden we started in our small apartment, and now that we have a house and a bigger yard it’s so much fun. They love it. Then there’s the everyday small moments that make me laugh. Or I see their little hands and hear their little voices, and I’m so thankful for them.

God is so gracious and good to us. Thank you, Lord, for all that you have done for us!

How does grace play a role in your daily life?

It’s a necessity. More of Him, less of me. I’m not perfect — far from it — and I need Jesus daily just for me to get up in the morning and pour a cup of coffee. So you can imagine how I need Him in all areas of my life! I just cast my cares to Him and pray daily, because I need Him all the time. But I’m so thankful I can just cast it all on Him. I do my best, God does the rest.

Do you have any tips or advice for how moms can show more grace to their families?

Motherhood is one of the most fulfilling things you can ever do in your life, and it’s one of the toughest and hardest things. From mom guilt to moments you just need the pause button. From play dates to baseball, classes and karate. To teacher conferences, bullies and amazing times. Find peace in the everyday. What do I mean? Try to sit still and just be thankful for the moment. Whenever life gets too hectic, I know it’s the most important times for me to sit still, slow down and listen. To be grateful.

Have you ever had your kids running around and you just know someone is going to end up crying? So you tell them to slow down, calm down or stop? And when they don’t listen, what happens? Someone ends up crying. Imagine if that’s what God does with us. So, if you’re ever feeling the rush, slow down, calm down and sit at His feet. He’s waiting for you.

What are you most proud of as a mom?

Oh gosh, what a question! I think I’m most proud of is my kids knowing Jesus.

Do you have any resources that help you be a mom with grace?

As a mompreneur I like listening to Terri Savelle Foy. As a mom who needs more grace I like listening to Joyce Myers. And as a family woman I like listening to Jentezen Franklin from Free Chapel. Resources will always be God’s Word. There’s nothing better in life than reading God’s Word daily. Remembering His promises and casting our cares to Jesus. I’m very blessed to know just how real God and Jesus is.

I also have a free 30 Days of Grace Challenge moms can take to help them grow in grace. It’s a Bible study, devotional and visibility challenge all rolled into one.

Do you have anything else to add that we haven’t talked about?

Live your life with the knowledge and reality that God is truly real and Jesus truly saves. God bless!

Connect with other Christian moms for support and encouragement in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace!

Looking for more resources to start a new business as a mom? Join me this year at the Monetizing Mompreneurs Summit!

Read more in the series:

Mandy Farmer, a blogger, children’s book author, pastor’s wife, mom and grandma shares encouragement for Christian moms, including those with blended families.

Tips for Christian moms with a good dose of encouragement

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

The “Moms with Grace” series takes a look at modern Christian moms and how they handle daily life with raising children. You’ll find monthly posts from moms with older kids, younger kids and all those in between. Let real-life moms encourage and uplift you!

Today is the kick-off for the “Moms with Grace” series. Mandy Farmer is the featured Mom with Grace this month. Mandy has a blog, “Mandy and Michele,” for which I have shared guests posts a few times. I am thrilled to share her story with you.

Mandy is a 62-year-old mom to four children ranging from 26 to 48. The oldest two belong to her husband from a previous marriage, but Mandy has raised them completely since they were 9 and 14 and lost both their mom and sister in a car accident.

Her experiences as a mom and stepmom (though she says they never use the term “step”) are uplifting to those of us still in the thick of everyday life with kids. Mandy has survived the young years and is now reaping the benefits in her relationship with her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren!

Please share a little bit about your background. Are you married? If so, for how long? What is your occupation? 

I was born near Canton, Ohio, and raised on the family dairy farm. At the age of 13, we moved, cows and all, to Wisconsin where I graduated from a small high school. I acquired a B.A. in computer science at Asbury University outside of Lexington, KY and went to work in Columbia South Carolina for about five years.  

At that point, my pastor’s wife introduced me to Michael Farmer, a pastor in her hometown of Barnesville, Ga. Michael had recently lost his wife and daughter in a fatal car accident. He had two boys, 9 and 14 at the time. She had been after me for months to go to Georgia with her and meet Michael. I didn’t think I was interested in a pastor with two boys but I finally went…just to get her to quit bothering me about it. 

Four months later, we were married! Now 32 years married!  

Fun note: I said I didn’t want to be a farmer’s wife or a pastor’s wife…I married Pastor Farmer! 

We added another boy and girl to the mix and continue pastoring around Georgia and for six years in Milwaukee, Wis. – my home state. 

I never worked outside the home or church after marriage and my degree quickly became obsolete, but my education was well worth it. 

I jumped full-time into my love of children’s ministry. Homeschooled our two youngest and founded a homeschool co-op. In between that, sometimes I served as Michael’s secretary. 

In 2011, I was struck with chronic pain. This changed a lot. Our daughter was 15. She became chief cook and bottle washer, making most meals, doing the laundry, keeping the house. She also, became my chauffeur! In 2016, we retired and moved to Savannah, Ga., and I began writing.

At first, I wrote about chronic pain and then I moved into writing Bible Studies for our denomination and an online group called Gracefully Truthful. Last year I decided to try to publish a book of devotions. That is still in the works, but in the learning process I wrote a children’s picture book about milk cows: Holly the Holstein Talks About Milk Cows.  I will publish another picture book about a family whose mommy has Fibromyalgia. You can follow me at my writing website to keep abreast of my publishing. 

How have you changed from the beginning of your mom journey until now? 

Another piece of my backstory is that I was number three of six children growing up. My youngest brother was 12 years behind me. My mom had a bookstore, so I did a lot of caring for him. This gave me a great deal of knowledge about childcare. I loved being a mom, and I can hardly wait to have grandchildren. (Our oldest has children and grands, but they have always lived far away.) 

Our children are all grown now. We live in the same city. Two kids are married. They all pop in all the time to check on us. Our oldest has two grown sons and a daughter. And we have six great-grandchildren! 

What are some challenges you’ve faced as a mother? How have you worked to overcome them? 

My initiation into motherhood started right off with a preteen and teenager. One got the chicken pox while Michael and I were on our honeymoon, and the other got them when we arrived home!  

My husband and I sat down with them before we married and talked about things. They wanted me to adopt them but because of moving several times it never happened. Michael told them that I would end up being their mother longer than their biological mother. And we decided they would call me “Mom.”  

Michael said he would always back me up when it came to discipline, and they were not to try to play us against one another. What I said would be “law” and if I dealt out a punishment, only I could change it. We had some of the typical teenager-mom issues. But really not many big issues that all moms don’t have.  

I love them like my own, and they love me the same. As a matter of fact, one of them sends me flowers every year on the anniversary of their mother’s death. The card always reads, “Thanks for being my mom.”

In what ways have you and do you share your faith with your children?

It’s a lifestyle. Everything seems to have something to do with faith in our lives. We have had many discussions around the dinner table. (Dinner table: what an important routine for the family!) 

Being a pastoral family, our kids were saturated in our faith. I wanted to have a family devotion time, but my husband felt that they got so much from being at the church A LOT that he didn’t want to do it. I did get them to have Advent devotions with me most years. We also homeschooled our children, and they received Bible training through that. Our church had children’s and teen’s Bible quizzing, and we were deeply involved in quizzing. 

Once they were old enough, they were involved in any special programs we had at church. They enjoyed every minute…well, maybe not every minute. 😊 

Pray for and with your children. After the car accident, going to school was very traumatic for Brian. He was dropped to his school that day and the accident happened on the way to the high school. We ALWAYS prayed with him before he got out of the car. ALWAYS.  

What are some of your favorite parts of motherhood? 

I loved it all. From as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. I was involved in their lives and they in mine. I loved cooking and baking with them from an early age. Also, I taught them music, and we played and sang together often. Homeschooling was wonderful. I was nervous about it at first. But my sister was doing it, and so I tried kindergarten (which wasn’t required) and we enjoyed it. That was the year my daughter was born and it gave Brett and me bonding time. If Mikaela was fussy, she was in a snuggly around me which left my hands free to teach. I think she learned a lot that way, school came easier for her. We considered every year what we would like to do the next year. Every year the kids chose to homeschool. 

How does grace play a role in your daily life? Do you have any tips or advice for how moms can show more grace to their families? 

Oh, goodness! Grace. Grace is the central theme. There are always mistakes made. On my side and theirs. Apologies and forgiveness are vital in a good family relationship. 

When discipline is necessary, it’s a good time to talk about the forgiveness of God. Be sure to tell your child how much you love them and that discipline is for teaching. Never discipline when you are angry. Always pray with your child after discipline. 

 What are you most proud of as a mom? 

 ”I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” – 3 John 1:4 (NIV)

All four of my children are serving the Lord in some capacity. Daniel is on the church board and serves in so many basic ways. He does a lot of those things that no one notices – lawn care, general checking on the building, usher. Brian served as a pastor in a small church for about 10 years until his health failed. Brett is the tech guy. He runs the sound and live stream at church. Mikaela and her husband serve as youth ministers and are both on the worship team. 

Do you have any resources that help you be a mom with grace?

You have to have a strong marriage to have a strong family. 

• Sacred Marriage – What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More than to Make us Happy? by Gary Thomas
• Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference
• Praying for Your Husband From Head to Toe by Sharon Jaynes (Sharon has a lot of resources on marriage.)
• The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages: How 15 Minutes a Day Will Help You Stay in Love by Marcus Warner & Chris M. Coursey 

These are some of the parenting books I highly recommend:

• The New Strong-willed Child by James Dobson (Read this before your child is born!)
• Bringing Up Boys and Bringing Up Girls by James Dobson (Read them both no matter what gender your child is.) 
• Everything James Dobson has written is worth the read. Check out his ministry, Focus on the Family, and its numerous resources including radio and email. 
• The Power of Praying book series by Stormie Omartian 
• Upside-Down Prayers for Parents: Thirty-One Daring Devotions for Entrusting Your Child–and Yourself–to God by Lisa Tawn Bergen 
• My blog partner, Michele Bruxvoort, is raising her grandchild. She will start writing about raising grandchildren, homeschooling, reviewing books this year on our blog, Mandy and Michele.  

Do you have anything else to add that we haven’t talked about? 

Prayer is a big key. Pray for guidance and wisdom. Pray for your children and their future spouses. Be specific as much as you can. Pray more than “Be with my child today.” Ask for wisdom and knowledge and protection. If they are attending public school, pray even harder. 

Make sure your children know that their parents love each other. Yeah, they might get disgusted, but let them see you hugging and kissing occasionally. This makes your child feel safe.  

Tell them you love them every day! Hug them even when your teenager doesn’t want you too. 

Have rules and abide by them. Children need boundaries. Back each other up. 

Connect with other Christian moms for support and encouragement in the private Facebook group, Moms with Grace!

Encouraging Bible verses and practical wisdom for Christian moms

Motherhood is both the most rewarding and most challenging job we’ll ever have. As a mom, I’ve experienced some of the best moments and some of the worst moments of my life.

Just last week, for example, I had a great evening with my 15-year-old daughter shopping for a first day of school outfit. But I also had an evening of frustration when chores weren’t getting done by either kiddo.

We go from marveling at our children’s beautiful hearts to questioning every parenting decision we’ve ever made in minutes sometimes.

Add in the weight of being a Christian mom and raising children in the modern world, and, quite frankly, it can be overwhelming. Know that you’re not alone.

In fact, it’s for these very reasons that I put together a free monthlong study about grace-filled parenting. The truth is God didn’t create us to parent on empty and feel overwhelmed. We can lean into His patience, wisdom and love.

Being a mom with grace isn’t about being a perfect mom (because she doesn’t exist!). It’s about showing up as present, faithful mothers who rely on God’s strength, extend grace to our children and ourselves, and trust in His wisdom for the important job of raising human beings who will impact the world for His glory.

It’s a style of parenting that works whether you have younger or older children.

I’d love for you to go on this journey with me with four weeks of practical, grace-soaked truth, one mom talking to another, chocolate optional, Spirit essential. Ready? Let’s dive in together.

Weekly themes for the Grace-Filled Parenting Bible study

Grace-Filled Parenting is divided into four different weeks with their own themes. And the best thing about this study is it’s rooted in Biblical principles and is created for mamas like you (and me) who don’t have hours a day for quiet time.

Each week has a Bible reading plan with one to three verses per day, reflection questions, a short video and optional emails. The Christian Moms with Grace private Facebook group will also be home to the study for discussions and more.

Each of the weeks includes the following:

• Daily Bible readings (1–3 verses)
• Weekly reflection questions
• Encouragement + discussion in our private FB group
• Free printables each week
• Weekly Zoom call for connection & prayer

Week 1: Living faithfully as a mom

Before we get into parenting techniques or how we speak to our children, we need to start with something even more foundational: our own faith. This first week is all about resetting our hearts and realigning with God. We’re not doing this out of guilt, but because He is our source.

As moms, we often pour ourselves out without pausing to be filled up. But a grace-filled home starts with a mom who is anchored in Christ.

Living faithfully doesn’t mean we never have hard parenting days or moments of failure. Instead, it means we clothe ourselves “with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12, ESV) as we navigate the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

When we’re exhausted from sleepless nights or dealing with challenging behaviors, it’s easy to react from our flesh rather than the Spirit. But as Christian parents, we have access to supernatural love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23, ESV).

During this week, we’ll take a look at what living faithfully as a Christian mom in daily life really means, how to pursue spiritual growth while raising kids and how God equips us even in the mundane and ordinary moments of motherhood.

This week isn’t about doing more. It’s about coming back to the heart of why we mother the way we do. Because when we live rooted in God’s Word, everything else begins to shift with grace.

Week 2: Speaking life over your children

As moms, our words carry incredible weight. From cheering on our kids to correcting them mid-tantrum, how we speak becomes part of their inner voice. This week, we’re focusing on the power of our words — not just what we say to our children, but how we speak about them, over them and even to ourselves.

God calls us to speak life with both grace and truth. That means we don’t ignore misbehavior or hard moments, but we approach them from a place of love and wisdom, not frustration or fear. It also means extending that same grace to ourselves when we don’t get it right.

This week, we’ll explore what Scripture says about the tongue, encouragement, blessing and gentleness. And we’ll learn how to reflect the heart of our Heavenly Father through our everyday communication.

We’ll be reminded that our words can build up or tear down, and we’ll ask God to help us become moms who are intentional with how we speak, choosing words that plant seeds of faith, identity, and love in our children’s hearts.

Week 3: Discipling your children daily

Teaching our kids about Jesus doesn’t have to mean daily devotionals or elaborate object lessons. While those can be wonderful, everyday discipleship is more often about how we live than what we say.

It’s the rhythms of our home, the conversations at bedtime, the way we handle stress and the example we set in our own faith walk.

This week, we’ll take a closer look at what it means to disciple our children in the daily moments like driving to school, folding laundry or navigating another round of sibling arguments.

God hasn’t asked us to be perfect moms with Pinterest-worthy faith routines. He’s asked us to be faithful, to model trust and to bring our kids along as we follow Him.

As we dig into these verses, we’ll be encouraged to sow truth into our kids’ lives in small, consistent ways — not with pressure or perfection, but with presence, intention and grace.

Week 4: Trusting God with your parenting journey

No matter how much we plan, pray and prepare, parenting will always bring uncertainty. There are seasons of fear, moments of regret and questions we can’t answer.

But one of the important things to remember is our children belong first to God. And we can trust Him with their hearts, their futures and even our shortcomings.

This week is about surrender. It’s about letting go of the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and choosing to believe that God is faithful, even when we feel like we’re failing.

We’ll reflect on verses that remind us of His presence, His provision and His promises for our children and for us as moms. Whether you’re in a joyful season or walking through difficulty, these Scriptures will point you back to the One who sees, sustains and equips you.

This isn’t a passive trust. It’s an active choice to parent from peace rather than fear. And it’s the beautiful reminder that while motherhood can feel like a heavy responsibility, it’s also a sacred partnership with a God who never leaves us to figure it out alone.

What grace-filled parenting looks like in real life

You don’t need to overhaul your entire life or start a brand-new routine to practice grace-filled parenting. In fact, the beauty is the gift of grace meets you right where you are from the carpool line, to the kitchen, to the middle of a meltdown.

Here are a few small but powerful ways you can start shifting your home toward grace — one moment at a time:

Start your day with God — even if it’s short.

A few quiet minutes before the chaos starts can set your heart in the right direction. Ask God to help you see your kids through His eyes today and respond with His love, not just your own exhaustion.

Pause before you react.

When your child pushes every button, pause and ask, “What does this moment need—correction, connection, or simply calm?” Sometimes a hug speaks louder than a lecture.

Speak truth over your kids and yourself.

It’s easy to focus on what’s going wrong, but grace helps us call out what’s good. Tell your child, “I love how you care for your sister,” or “God made you such a thoughtful leader.” Let that same truth reflect back on you, too.

Protect your margin.

When you’re rushing from one thing to the next, grace is the first thing to go. Make room for slow moments, silly moments and soul-filling moments. They matter more than the to-do list.

Give yourself grace, too.

You will mess up. You will lose your temper. And you will forget something important. Being a perfect parent just isn’t possible.

But God’s grace doesn’t run out and every misstep is a chance to model humility, repentance and fresh starts.

Grace-filled parenting doesn’t mean you always get it right. It means you’re learning to parent from a place of peace, not pressure and inviting God into the process.

10 Powerful Bible verses for grace-filled parenting

These Scriptures are a beautiful reminder that we don’t have to parent in our own strength. When we root ourselves in God’s Word and lean into the grace of His Son, we find the patience, peace and wisdom we so often long for.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)

When your patience wears thin before breakfast, remember: these qualities aren’t something you have to force. They’re the fruit of walking closely with God. Ask the Spirit to produce His fruit in you today. You don’t have to rely on your own natural storehouse of wisdom.

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV)

Grace in parenting doesn’t mean letting everything slide. It means showing up clothed in Christ’s character.

Showing grace to your children isn’t a sign of personal weakness. As He has given you complete forgiveness, you can also forgive, correct and lead your children with love.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

Your words matter; they shape your children’s hearts in profound ways.

Even when discipline is needed, you can speak with grace, truth and intention to build your child up instead of tearing them down.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

You’re planting seeds that may not bloom right away into immediate success in the lives of your children. You must trust the process — even when progress feels slow — and keep pointing kids toward truth.

You serve a God of perfect wisdom and can trust in His timing, even when it doesn’t necessarily match your own. God’s delivery time is always the right time.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”

Psalm 127:1-2 (ESV)

You’re not meant to carry the whole weight of your child’s future. Do your part, but rest knowing God is the one building your family and watching over your children.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

Motherhood is exhausting. Jesus doesn’t ask you to hold it all together. He invites you to come to Him and find rest in His strength, not your own.

As God’s child, you are able to cling to Him and rest in Him.

“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.”

Isaiah 40:11 (ESV)

What a beautiful picture of how God tends to mothers! You’re not leading your children alone. God sees you, carries you and gently leads moms like you through every stage and struggle.

The work of God is done in your life simply by being His beloved daughter doing her best to live for Him. Thankfully, you don’t have to have an independent ability to be a Christian parent. None of us would succeed!

“In the same manner the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

Romans 8:26 (NIV)

In those moments when you don’t even know what to pray for your children or yourself, the Spirit steps in.

The good news is you don’t have to figure out everything on your own. God’s Spirit is actively helping you in your weakness.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6 (ESV)

God isn’t finished — not with you, and not with your kids. When you feel like a failure or worry about your children’s spiritual growth, you can rest in knowing that God is committed to completing the good work He’s started in each of your lives.

Grace means trusting that He’s working, even when you can’t see the results yet. His invisible grace is there to sustain you along the journey.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Grace-filled parenting ultimately comes down to trust. God knows your child even better than you do, and He will guide your steps as you walk with Him.

You can trust God’s plan for your family is good, even when you can’t see the bigger picture. You trust His timing is perfect, even when progress seems slow.

And you can definitely trust He loves your children more than you do and will guide your path as you seek to honor Him.

Join the Grace-Filled Parenting journey

These verses are a beautiful reminder that you don’t have to parent from pressure or perfectionism but from the grace God freely gives. If you’re ready to take that truth and walk it out in your everyday life as a Christian mom, I’ve got something special just for you.

Grab your free 7 Days of Grace-Filled Parenting devotional

This printable devotional is designed to help you:

• Reset your mindset as a mom
• Reflect on God’s truth in the middle of everyday chaos
• Parent with more peace, purpose and confidence in Christ

Each day includes a short Scripture, a heartfelt reflection and space to connect with God in a real and practical way. It’s perfect whether you’ve got 10 quiet minutes or you’re squeezing in grace on the go.

You’ll get instant access to the devotional and be the first to hear when the full Grace-Filled Parenting study begins in September!

Be part of the free Grace-Filled Parenting study

This September, I’m inviting Christian moms to join me for a 4-week journey that will refresh your soul and reframe how you approach motherhood.

We’ll cover:

• Living faithfully as a mom
• Speaking life with grace and truth
• Discipling our kids through everyday moments
• Trusting God with the big and small of parenting

You’ll get weekly encouragement, Scripture-based reflections and optional journal prompts plus access to a printable upgrade and a community of moms walking through it with you.

Want to make sure you don’t miss it? Grab the free devotional above, and I’ll send all the details straight to your inbox.

Want to go deeper?

The Grace-Filled Parenting Journal gives you guided space to reflect, pray and live out what you’re learning. Grab your printable copy here:

Keep showing up, mama

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need a perfect track record or a picture-perfect routine.

What matters most is that you’re walking with God and pointing your children toward Him one moment, one prayer, one imperfect day at a time.

Grace-filled parenting isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about staying rooted in the One who does.

So when you feel tired, uncertain or like you’ve missed the mark again, pause, breathe and remember: God chose you to be your child’s mom on purpose.

You’re doing holy work, even when it’s a hard parenting day. Keep going. Keep trusting. And most of all, keep showing up — covered in grace.

Check out these other posts on grace-filled parenting:

Being a grace-filled parent

Christian parenting advice: 10 tips for raising Godly kids

Grace-filled sibling relationships

Graceful or grace-filled?

Raising a Christian child in public school