March 2021 - Families With Grace

Parenting quotes to inspire you

Posted on March 25, 2021April 27, 2021 by Stacey A. Shannon

25 parenting quotes to encourage moms and dads!

Parenthood is wearisome and wonderful. It is exhausting and exhilarating. Sometimes just knowing that you aren’t in it alone is encouraging. For that reason, I’ve put together a list of 25 parenting quotes to inspire, encourage and amuse you along your parenthood journey.

“I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” — Mayim Bialik, actress and neuroscientist

“Encourage and support your kids because children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.” — Lady Bird Johnson, former First Lady of the United States

“You’re on a long journey. You’ll have good days and bad. And sometimes they happen all in the same day. Don’t get bogged down by the bad moments. Know that it really is worth it and whatever phase you’re in really does end.” — Stacey A. Shannon, journalist and blogger in “60 Motherhood truths“

“Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.” — Matthew Jacobson, blogger

“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.” — Ray Romano, actor and comedian

“Parenthood…It’s about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.”
― Peter Krause, in the American T.V. series “Parenthood”

“Affirming words from moms and dads are like light switches. Speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child’s life and it’s like lighting up a whole roomful of possibilities.” — Gary Smalley, family therapist

“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” — Jill Churchill, author

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” — Angela Schwindt, a mom and coach

“There are many ways to measure success; not the least of which is the way your child describes you when talking to a friend.” — Anonymous

“My children aren’t a burden or annoyance; they are my greatest masterpiece.” — Stacey A. Shannon, journalist and blogger in “Back to school blues“

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6 KJV

“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” — Franklin P. Adams, columnist

“Making the decision to have a child — it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” — Elizabeth Stone, author

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” — Phyllis Diller, actress and comedian

“A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” — Billy Graham, evangelist

“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.” — Sue Atkins, parenting coach

“Having a child is like getting a tattoo … on your face. You better be committed.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, journalist

“As a mother, my job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible.” — Ruth Bell Graham, author

“Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” — Bill Ayers, elementary education reformist

“We never know the love of the parent till we become parents ourselves.” — Henry Ward Beecher, minister

“Motherhood is a constant learning process that requires flexibility and a sense of humor. And just when you think you have it all figured out, your children like to remind you that you certainly don’t.” — Stacey A. Shannon, journalist and blogger in “Motherhood requires a sense of humor“

“Each day of our lives we make deposits into the memory banks of our children.” — Charles R. Swindoll, pastor

“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” — C.S. Lewis, writer

“Childhood is fleeting, so let kids be kids and cherish the time you have together.” — Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. President

A bonus 26th quote: “A Mother’s Promise”
“I will love you completely and fully no matter what you do.
I will work hard to make sure you get any help you need.
I will always be your soft place to land.
I will pray over and for you as long as there is breath in my body.
I will protect you to the very best of my ability.
I will be there to lift you up when life kicks you down.
I will be your biggest fan forever and always in everything you do.
I will fail and make mistakes, but I will always do my best.
I will forever be thankful and grateful that I get to be your mom.“
— Stacey A. Shannon, journalist and blogger

How to connect with your spouse while raising children

Posted on March 18, 2021March 18, 2021 by Stacey A. Shannon

6 ways to connect in the busyness of raising kiddos

My husband and I were married for 10 years before our first child was born. We had 10 years of being able to do things like talk without interruption! Now as the parents to an 11-year-old and an 8-year-old life is different, and we can struggle to finish a conversation. Learning how to connect with your spouse in the midst of raising a family can be challenging. We’ve found a few strategies that work for us.

Connecting with your spouse is about more than going on dates. While date night is awesome and I highly encourage it, connection means taking the time to really listen to each other. You certainly can (and sometimes need to) share your deepest feelings, but you also should share the small stuff as well.

I mean all the things you think about in the shower that you mean to talk to your spouse about but don’t get a chance to. Or all the things you start to say and get interrupted. I’d say it even includes some logistical details sometimes that you just need to communicate and connect about. Connection is about sharing life together.

1. Find good times to talk.

One of the best ways to connect with your spouse comes by communicating well. I learned pretty early on in our just over two decades of marriage to start important conversations with the question: “Is this a good time to talk?”

That one question has saved us some grief and arguments in our marriage. Since my husband and I work from home together, we have plenty of opportunities to interrupt each other at inopportune times. So in order to connect with each other, we start with finding the right time to do so.

He may have something he wants to discuss with me and connect with me about right when I’m in the middle of trying to finish an article before my deadline. Or I might need to talk with him about something that happened right when he is preparing for a conference call.

By asking if it’s a good time (and being kind and honest with the question and response), our chance to actually connect improves. Some times are just not convenient times to listen — really listen — to what someone is saying to you.

2. Set boundaries with your kids.

This one looks different depending on your kids’ ages. We haven’t dealt with this with teenagers since our oldest kiddo is 11, but we’ve dealt with it through every stage previous.

The baby days are hard because babies are unpredictable. So, you have to get creative in order to connect with your spouse. When our youngest was a newborn, my husband knew I was struggling. While our daughter had always been a good sleeper, our son wasn’t. I had many nights where I was up the entire night only able to sleep about two hours before our 3-year-old was up for the day. I would literally fall asleep in the middle of saying something to my husband when he got home from work.

One night, my husband left an encouraging note on the changing table reminding me that I could wake him if I needed to. That short note, written on a piece of paper torn from a notebook was the perfect way to connect at that point in our lives.

As our children got older, we got into routines as a family. Their bedtimes coincided. Quiet or nap times overlapped intentionally. Even now they both have to be in their rooms for the night at the same time. So, my husband and I know that by 8:15 p.m., both kiddos should be settled in for the night. That’s important because those are times we know we can connect.

And then there are other times (especially right now with virtual schooling) that we stop our kids from coming into the home office during the day because my husband and I need a moment to connect. Sometimes we connect even by grousing about school assignments together!

3. Utilize kid-free time.

Kid-free time seems like it would be a no-brainer to connect with your spouse, but sometimes we get distracted and spend that time doing other things. I’m an introvert and recharge with quiet. I completely understand that sometimes kid-free time means you just want to not talk or do anything productive. And you need those breaks!

Just make sure that you allow some time for your spouse in the midst of it. Make some time to chat about what’s been going on in your lives or thoughts. My husband and I even end up spending kid-free time talking about the kids. We are in this parenting thing together and sometimes we need to connect about how we’re doing it to make sure we stay on the same page.

When it comes simply to connecting, no topic is taboo, not even your kiddos. The act of sharing your thoughts and concerns with each other connects you with your spouse.

4. Do something fun together.

One of the best ways to connect with your spouse is doing something fun together. This totally depends on what you guys find fun, but look for something you both enjoy.

That said, don’t be afraid to branch out and try what your spouse thinks is fun and vice versa. Since he was a kid, my husband has been a gamer. He enjoys both video games and tabletop games, specifically role playing games. While I played video games with him occasionally, I resisted tabletop role playing games for year.

When I finally tries role playing games with my husband, I found that I enjoy them as well. It’s something fun we love doing together and lets me see a whole different side of my husband and his creativity. And we end up with memories made together that we can talk — and usually laugh — about later.

We also enjoy watching movies together. While it doesn’t sound like something to connect us, we talk about them afterward. We usually don’t have in-depth discussions (though it’s happened and you totally could), but even just sharing what we each thought of the movie helps us connect with each other.

5. Go for a ride or run errands together.

The car can be the perfect place for connecting with your spouse when it’s just the two of you. Nobody can interrupt your conversations! My husband and I have done some of our best connecting on car rides and/or while running errands together.

We’ve connected and had fun while shopping for our kids’ birthday gifts. When we go on road trips for doctor’s appointments for me, we spend part of that time talking and going over topics we care about. We’ve talked through all sorts of things in the car.

Another way we sometimes connect on longer trips is listening to Podcasts together. My husband has some favorite ones he’ll listen to while I read or nap. But there are some we like listening to together as well. (One of our joint favorite Podcasts is a role playing game.) You could also listen to audio books together if that’s more your style.

6. Don’t forget the small stuff.

Finally, connect with your spouse in small ways that make big differences. The right words can make your bond stronger. Say thank you when you notice your spouse doing chores or taking care of something so you don’t have to. Stop and give your spouse a hug when he or she is folding laundry. Pick up their favorite treat at the grocery store.

Connection in marriage happens in small ways every day. You don’t have to have long discussions on deep topics. Your actions and facial expressions can connect you just as much as words. I love the feeling when my husband and I share “a look” about something adorable our kids have done or even something frustrating that’s happened. It reminds me we are on the same page and on the same team going through life. And that’s what connection is all about!

20 Lessons from life with a newborn

Posted on March 11, 2021January 26, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

Life with a newborn is exhausting, challenging and rewarding

I wrote this back in 2013 when I was just starting to feel a bit human again after having our second baby. I’ve done some slight editing, but left it mostly the same. I share for new mamas who are overwhelmed and exhausted. I promise you will survive this phase! The 12-week-old baby is new a thriving 8-year-old boy and his big sister is now 11.

Just when you think you know everything as a mother, things change around and you realize that you don’t know nearly as much as you thought you did to begin with. Having a second baby has reminded me of this. My son is days away from being 12 weeks old. He’s not much like his big sister who is 3-1/2. I’ve learned a few lessons from life with a newborn. I’ve also been reminded of some lessons I learned last time around.

So, I decided to compile a list. It’s far from comprehensive, but it’s a few things that have been floating around in my mind and my life these last nearly 12 weeks.

1. Not all babies are the same.

I can’t say this enough. I knew this in my head, but having a second baby really taught me this lesson. My daughter loved the bouncy seat; my son doesn’t like it. The swing didn’t interest my daughter; my son loves it. My daughter couldn’t sleep when someone was holding her. Sometimes my son will only sleep when someone is holding him.

2. Just when you think you couldn’t possible be any more exhausted, you realize you can.

I’ve had plenty of times when I thought if I were any more exhausted I’d be dead. And then the baby spent the night crying and I got only two hours of sleep before preschooler was up and ready for the day to start. Turns out I was wrong. I could be more exhausted.

3. Dealing with reflux in a baby stinks.

My daughter had other issues, but reflux wasn’t a problem for her. My son has mild reflux and it stinks. I feel a huge compassion for parents who have babies with more severe reflux.

4. Babies require patience.

Lots and lots and lots of patience. I try to remind myself of this when I want to scream things like, “Stop crying and nurse already!” Or “Go to sleep!” So instead I do things like make shushing noises and sing lullabies. And when I can’t manage that, I just shut my trap.

5. Going anywhere takes a lot of effort.

Going anywhere on time feels like a major undertaking. I travel with lots of stuff in tow, even with a second baby. While I’d like to say I’ve downsized from the first time around, the truth is I haven’t. In fact, my diaper bag now includes items for my 3-year-old as well. When she was a baby, I didn’t carry coloring books and portable toilet seats with us.

Getting all of us ready to get out the door to go anywhere is a major undertaking and major accomplishment. If we get there on time, I’m pretty sure I deserve some sort of award.

6. Not sleeping in your bed for three months can really wear on you.

While my daughter had her own issues in figuring out how to use her tongue to suck, she was a good sleeper. She slept first in her pack-and-play in our room and then in her crib in her room starting at 3 months.

My son, thanks first to extra congestion after his delivery and then to his reflux, is not a good sleeper. He just starting sleeping in his crib and he’s not sleeping in there nearly as long as he was sleeping in the Boppy on the couch beside me. We’ll get there, I hope, because sleeping in a recliner is far from as comfortable as my bed.

7. Baby cuddles are sweet and should be enjoyed for no other reason than just to cuddle.

I had trouble getting cuddle time with my daughter. Like I said she wouldn’t fall asleep in our arms. I also had to put her down quite a bit so I could pump milk for her.

This time around in life with a newborn, I get lots more cuddles because our little dude is cuddly and because I’m nursing him. I really enjoy the snuggles. I just have to remember to cuddle sometimes just because baby cuddles are good for the soul and not just because I’m trying to get him to sleep or feed him.

8. Babies create lots of laundry.

This is not different this time around. I had lots of laundry last time; I have lots of laundry this time. Before I had kids I always figured the laundry was for the baby. I’ve since realized that my laundry also increases when I get covered in spit-up and diaper blowouts. Fun stuff…

(And let’s not pretend that I change my shirt every single time I get a teeny bit of spit-up on me, especially if I’m not leaving the house any time soon!)

9. Showers taken when other responsible adults are around are like mini spa days.

I love my Saturday morning hot shower when my husband is home and making sure that the kiddos are fine. For 20 glorious minutes, I enjoy warm water cascading over me and nobody talking to me, crying for me or needing me to do something. It’s divine.

10. Trips anywhere alone are like mini vacations.

This includes grocery shopping and doctor’s visits. I’ve been disappointed when my doctor or dentist got me in fast enough that I didn’t have time to sit in the waiting room and read my book. Times have changed.

11. Toothless baby smiles make your heart melt — even when it’s 2 a.m. and you’ve not been asleep since 7 a.m. the day before.

It’s hard to stay mad, upset or any other negative emotion when you’re getting a toothless baby smile.

12. You can come up with all sorts of systems for how things work best.

For example, we learned pretty quickly that this little dude needs to be held more to go to sleep. My husband tests when our son is ready to be laid down by lifting his arm and seeing if it stays completely limp when he gently drops it. My test in the middle of the night has sometimes been when the sniffing from my exhausted tear-fest no longer makes him jump. Whatever works.

13. You are desperate to hear from other mothers of newborns.

I have a small network of moms I enjoy talking with who have kiddos the same age as mine. We talk about shots, exhaustion, bottle size, diaper brands and all the stuff that comes in life with a newborn (and older kiddos). It helps me to know I’m not alone in my worries and frustrations.

14. On the flip side, unwanted advice from non-parents or those who haven’t had a baby for decades does not go over well.

It’s a great way to annoy a new mom. And, honestly, we get tired of hearing how much we should enjoy these days because they go so fast. Having a 3-1/2-year-old, I’ve already learned this lesson a bit.

However, there are most definitely parts of life with a newborn that I don’t enjoy and won’t miss. There are way more parts I do enjoy and will miss, but I don’t enjoy every single moment and can get tired of the suggestion that I should.

15. Hormones and exhaustion can combine in negative ways.

I don’t mean to be grumpy, weepy or irritable. It just happens. And for that I’m sorry.

16. Mommy brain is real.

We fully intend to remember what we were talking about or supposed to be doing and then we just don’t. This happens from being exhausted by life with a newborn and from being interrupted so frequently.

17. Babies smell good.

I feel like I knew this before, but I almost forgot it. I think of Frank Barone, the grandpa on the old TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond.” He’d come in and smell his grandchildren’s heads and claim to be taking in their youth. I get that. Sometimes I smell my son’s head and just try to suck in that smell. He won’t smell like a new baby forever. It’s a special smell.

18. Mommy guilt is real.

This isn’t something I had to learn anew. It’s something I’ve had from the moment I became a mom and I continue to struggle with it. I worry that I’m not doing enough for either child at any given time. I worry that I’m not making the baby do tummy time enough or playing enough games with preschooler. I worry if I leave them with their grandparents for a few hours to do something like see a movie with my husband that I shouldn’t be leaving them at all. I am good at mommy guilt.

19. Diaper changing time is sometimes the highlight of my day.

Some of my favorite times with my daughter were on the changing table. She’d baby talk to me. She’d smile at me and look into my eyes. My son is the same way. Sometimes, in fact, we’ve been in the middle of really rough nights when his reflux is acting up and I’ll go to change his diaper and he’ll settle down and “talk” to me and smile at me. The changing table is sort of a magical place with my babies.

20. The rewards of life with a newborn are worth it.

Just when I think I can’t possibly have the energy to go on another moment or just when I am so incredibly ready to give up, I look down at my baby’s precious little face and remember he depends on me so very completely for everything right now. He needs me. I’m irreplaceable to him (and to his big sister).

And I love them both so completely. That love gives me the extra energy I need to press on and take care of their needs. (Some prayer for strength goes a long way, too!) Getting rewarded with baby smiles and coos makes my heart swoon and re-energizes me enough to keep going.

It’s motherhood: long hours, crummy pay and tremendous rewards.

Looking for more on life with babies? Don’t miss these posts!

What to do when a friendship weakens

Posted on March 9, 2021March 3, 2021 by Lexi S.

Ideas to help when you have issues in a friendship

One of the things people have asked me the most is what to do whenever friendship troubles occur. They happen to all of us, and they are the worst. However, there are a few things you can do to help.

This world tries everyday to bring us down. But it hasn’t ended us yet, and I don’t believe that we should let it. Issues with friends is one of the absolute hardest things to help with, because it will never be perfect. But I’m going to try anyway.

Friendship expectation vs. reality

Friendship isn’t like the books, let me start with that. In stories, there are groups of friends who are always there for each other. Most of the time the characters have known each other since forever and are totally awesome and perfect.

That’s never how real life works. Your friends may be nice, sweet and there for you a lot. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be that way forever. It’s very likely that friendships will end or weaken at one point. So no matter what, people in this world need to just stop trying to be perfect. There are people with high expectations for who you are and for what you should do.

Friendship solutions

Feeling out of place in a friend group isn’t abnormal, and if you feel weird about it, I’m sure you are not the only one. Try talking to the person/people about it. If you are uncomfortable with that, then send an email. I do advise you to try to talk to them about it, but, if you don’t want to, then maybe try floating around. By that I mean try making new friends. Find someone you can connect with.

If the problem really is just applying to you, then maybe your friend(s) will have good advice on what to do from there. I’m sure you have all heard this song, but you know what they say:

Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver,
And the other, gold.
A circle’s round
It has no end
That’s how long
I’m gonna be your friend.

Besides floating around, you can try and make a new friend somewhere other than school (or wherever your friend is). Maybe you have other friends to hang out with, or maybe you just aren’t ready for a new friend. So many possibilities are under the umbrella of friendship.

That’s all for today lovelies, but remember, never settle for a relationship with anyone who treats you as if you are less than, because you all deserve the world and more!

Girls with Grace, a tween blog written by a tween girl, has new posts on Tuesdays two to four times a month. Find out more about Girls with Grace:

200 Easter basket ideas that aren’t candy

Posted on March 4, 2021January 26, 2023 by Stacey A. Shannon

Easter basket ideas your toddlers to tweens will love that aren’t full of sugar!

Affiliate links are used in this post. If you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here.

Hippity, hoppity, Easter’s on its way! And that means we need Easter basket ideas for our kiddos. Our Easter Bunny leaves some candy in our kids’ baskets and some small candy in the eggs he hides for them. But the Bunny also likes to fill their baskets with non-candy items they’ll love.

With that in mind, I’ve put together a list of 200 non-candy Easter basket ideas for toddlers through tweens to help out the Easter Bunny who visits your house. I focused on things kids would like and actually use but that also wouldn’t break the bank.

I’ve organized them based on age, but peruse other age groups than what you’re looking for. Some ideas work for multiple ages!

Easter basket ideas for toddlers and preschoolers

Board books

Check out this list of more than 100 children’s books worth reading for more ideas!
“I Love You Through and Through”
“Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?”
“Chicka Chicka Boom Boom”
“Hippos Go Berserk”
“Peek-A Who?”

Bubbles

Of course you can do a standard bottle of bubbles that has a wand, but there are some fun options as well!
Fubbles no-spill tumbler with bubble solution
Automatic bubble blower
T-rex bubble shooter (um, my 8-year-old would totally love this, too!)

Slap bracelets

4-pack “Frozen 2” slap bracelets featuring Anna, Elsa, Kristoff and Olaf
5-pack (or 8-pack) of superhero slap bracelets
Plush animal slap bracelets (a wide array of animals, including dinosaurs, are available)

Art supplies

Toddler scissors
Melissa & Doug jumbo triangular crayons (10-pack)
Alphabet coloring book
Melissa & Doug Felt Friends stickers
Paint with water coloring book of puppies
Melissa & Doug Make-a-Face sticker pad
Crayola Color Wonder coloring set (These are amazing because the markers really don’t show up anywhere except on the coloring pages!)

Balls

O-ball with circles for little fingers to easily grip

Knobby balls (pack of 12)

Expandable ball (set of 2)

Lego Duplos

Town pizza stand (ages 2 and up)
First fish (ages 18 months and up)
Construction bulldozer set (ages 2 and up)

Misc.

4-pack of dinosaur vehicles

Easter basket ideas for early elementary

Books

Check out this list of more than 100 children’s books worth reading for more ideas!
The boxed set of books 1-4 in the Junie B. Jones series
“Charlotte’s Web”
“The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids”
“Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing”
“Dog Man: Brawl of the Wild” (or any book from this series)
“Minnie and Moo Go to Paris” (or any Minnie and Moo book)

Silly putty

Original Silly Putty (3-pack)
Heat sensitive lab putty
Glow in the Dark Silly Putty

Legos

Lego Friends Olivia’s flower garden
Lego Creator 3-in-1 propeller plane
Lego City monster truck
Lego Friends heart box

Pool toys

Fish dive sticks
Water guns (2-pack — no pool needed for these!)
Scoop-a-Diving pool toys

Hot Wheels

5-pack of Batman vehicles
5-pack
1:24 scale monster truck

Sunglasses

Classic 1980s-style sunglasses (available in 12 colors)
Polarized sunglasses with straps (available in 17 colors)
Rhinestone cat eye sunglasses (available in 20 colors)

Swim goggles

Anti-fog eye goggles with nose and ear plugs and a case (available in 3 colors)
Anti-fog eye mask with a snorkle (available in 4 colors)
2-pack anti-fog eye goggles with nose and ear plugs (available 9 color combinations)

Watch

Digital Anna and Elsa watch
Digital Spider-man watch
Silicone analog watches (available in dinosaur, firetrucks and butterflies, each in a variety of colors)
Analog watches with the hour and minute hands labeled (available in Batman, Minnie Mouse and Disney Princesses)
Analog sea turtle slap bracelet watch

Arts and crafts

A how to draw animals book
A draw-and-write gratitude journal
A dinosaur or unicorn activity book
WikkiStix (wax sticks for creating)
Melissa & Doug Color by Numbers
A set of crayons, markers and colored pencils

Stickers

8 sheets of cute animal stickers
160 cars and trucks stickers
Paint by sticker zoo animals
Make-a-Face stickers

Dover sticker activity books (At $1.50 to $1.99, these are the cheapest item on the list and super cool! You can find a little sticker book for just about anything your kiddos would like including making ice cream sundaes, Noah’s ark, decorating Easter eggs, baby animals, dinosaurs and so much more!)

Barbies

Dolls
Barbie rhythmic gymnast doll with two batons and a ribbon (also in brunette with darker skin)
Babysitters Inc. baby (with blanket and bottle)
Fashionista Ken
Swimsuit Barbie (The swimsuit is painted on, so it’s ideal for the bathtub, pool or anywhere your kiddo wants to play in water!)
Rockstar Chelsea with guitar, microphone, headphones, VIP tickets and star-shaped glasses

Accessories
Barbie kitten with accessories
Barbie day spa accessories
Barbie barbeque grill with food
Barbie gardening accessories with plants and more
Barbie house cleaning supplies
Barbie breakfast tray with food

Games

Charades
The card game War for kids
Minecraft UNO
Simon micro series