19 Fun family activities for autumn with a free fall bucket list printable

As the saying goes, it’s fall, ya’ll! Autumn is my favorite season. I love the colors, weather and flavors. I’m on board with figuring out fun family activities to do throughout the fall season. After a hot Midwestern summer, we’re usually ready to head outside and start enjoying the cooler weather that accompanies fall.

This year, I decided to be more intentional about fall family activities. While my family has made a list of summer activities for a few years, we haven’t done so for fall. So I decided I’d put together a fall bucket list of family family activities this year. Some we have done regularly and some are new to us, which I think makes a perfect fall bucket list list!

Download a FREE Fall Bucket List Printable or visit the Families with Grace Etsy store for an editable PDF version that includes a blank list for you to add your own Fall Bucket List ideas! Use the code FWGFAN to receive an extra 10% off everything in the store!

Go for a leaf sight-seeing drive.

One of the best aspects of fall is the colors and the leaves. Taking time to drive around and enjoy them is a great fall activity for families, no matter the age of your kiddos. Play some favorite music and just take in the beauty of God’s creation.

Head to a pumpkin patch and get your own pumpkin.

Fall and pumpkins go hand-in-hand. Head to a nearby pumpkin patch and get your own pumpkin(s). Even though I’m far from being a plant person, I still like the pumpkin patch visits. It just feels autumnal. And you get a bonus of supporting a local farmer, which is always a good thing!

Bake pumpkin bread together.

Pumpkin spice is one of the most popular flavors of fall. I enjoy my pumpkin spice most baked into a loaf of pumpkin bread. For me, pair a slice of pumpkin bread with a mug of hot chocolate, and I’m in heaven! While my favorite pumpkin bread recipe is easy enough I’ve made it with 40 kindergarteners at once, if you just don’t want to bake, pick up some pumpkin bread at the grocery store or bakery.

Go on a hike or nature walk.

Fall weather may not cool down everywhere, but for many of us, fall means temperatures start going down. And that’s why hikes or nature walks make for great fall family activities. You get to be outside, enjoying the crisp air and colorful leaves. Find somewhere nearby and make some memories!

Drink apple cider (warm or chilled).

Apple harvest happens in the fall, so it’s a great time to enjoy some apple cider either warm or chilled. My daughter and husband especially love apple cider. They both prefer it cold. Find it at the grocery store or a nearby orchard.

Play board games for at least an hour.

There’s never a bad time for board games when it comes to family activities. My family loves games, but making the time to play them can get tricky. Adding this to your fall bucket list will help remind you to have a game night or afternoon. If your kiddos are young, be sure to check out this list of games for non- and early readers!

Snuggle for a movie night with popcorn and snacks.

Honestly, fall weather can be downright unpleasant. On a chilly, wet evening, snuggle in as a family and enjoy movie night with popcorn and snacks. Our family tends to love this most on Friday nights when everyone is tired from a week of school and work. Do whatever works for you!

Go to the farmers’ market.

Autumn is a great time to visit the farmers’ market. The weather is cooler, which encourages you to stroll through for longer. Lots of produce is still fresh and vendors often have other items like home-baked goodies that would pair well with things like game or movie nights! You may be able to find some apple cider at your local farmers’ market as well.

Do a fall family photo shoot.

The colors in fall are perfect backdrops for family photos. I have paid for family photos in the fall, but these days I usually just take my kids outside and take a bunch of photos with my phone. They’re easy to edit and pick my favorites. My kiddos enjoy getting to come up with poses and usually I end up with more natural photos.

Attend a fall festival.

Fall is a great time for festivals. Find one (or two or three!) near you, and attend. Here in the Midwest we have things like covered bridge festivals and historic area festivals. Then there are harvest festivals. Find something and go just for the fun of it. We recently went to a Native American festival and had a great time.

Pick apples at an orchard.

Apples are fresh and delicious in the fall. If you have an orchard near you that lets you pick your own apples, then go for it! You can try different varieties and see what you and your family like best or stick with one trusty variety. Either way, it can be lots of fun as a family.

Navigate a corn maze.

This is sort of an essential part of the fall season for those of us who live where the corn pops up in rows (Tim McGraw songs, anyone?). If you’ve got a corn maze near you, hit it up and navigate your way to through it. Usually one of our kids leads us. Especially when they were younger, we would then end up suggesting turns they might want to take.

Paint or carve pumpkins.

Pumpkins are everywhere in the fall, and it’s a great time to get creative with them. We carve and paint pumpkins in our family based on each persons’ preferences. My daughter likes to paint pumpkins; my son likes to carve them. I’m the only member in our family who loves cleaning out pumpkins. All in all, it works out and is one of the great fall family activities during autumn.

Play charades.

Charades is one of my kids’ favorite games and has been for years. You can use themed charades games, like Halloween charades, general charades games or just let everyone come up with their own ideas. In my family, we play charades by having one person act out the clue and the rest of us guess. We don’t keep score and just have fun.

Donate to a local food bank.

Autumn is a great time to donate to local food banks who are preparing for the upcoming holiday season. We often contact the food bank and ask what sort of items they’re most in need of before buying things. Our kids usually use their “giving” money from their allowance to contribute to food banks. They take on the challenge of finding groceries or toiletries for cheaper prices to get the most for their money.

Eat a caramel apple.

Whether you make them yourself or buy them at the store, caramel apples are the quintessential fall treat. I like mine covered with chopped peanuts, while my husband prefers them plain. And if you just can’t get on board with caramel apples, buy some or make some caramel dip for apple slices or other favorite fruit.

Go on a hayride.

Hay rides can be a great family activity. We usually work in a hayride on a visit to the pumpkin patch. Beware that some hayrides have a scare factor with people “surprising” you. Definitely know what you’re getting into with younger children along.

Roast smores

Bonfires and firepits are great for chilly autumn evenings. And they’re a great excuse to roast some marshmallows as well. Add some chocolate and graham crackers. Smores aren’t just a summertime campfire treat!

Make a leaf collection

This is a great activity especially for younger kids who delight in all the various types of leaves they can find. But when it comes to autumn family activities, collecting leaves can also be fun. See who can find the biggest leaf, the most colorful leaf and so on.

Download a FREE Fall Bucket List Printable or visit the Families with Grace Etsy store for an editable PDF version that includes a blank list for you to add your own Fall Bucket List ideas! Use the code FWGFAN to receive an extra 10% off everything in the store!

Encouragement for moms

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I wrote this post as encouragement for moms back in 2012 before my youngest child was even born. It may be 10 years later, but I still need this reminder just as much!

I’d guess that ever since Eve, moms have been questioning themselves and feeling like bad mothers when things go awry. My daughter was less than a couple of days old before I felt like a bad mom. It was so intense that my husband even suggested I talk with my own mother about whether it got better. My baby was crying all the time and nothing I did seemed to help. I cried. She cried. We saw a different pediatrician when ours was out who further laid the blame on me. I climbed into the backseat with my baby on the way home and cried some more. It was awful feeling so much love and so much helplessness. I felt like the world’s worst mom and I had barely even been a mom.

The end of the first week, my husband figured out the problem. The kiddo didn’t know what to do with her tongue to suck milk effectively. She was constantly hungry as a result. Once we knew the problem and were able to work on it by having me exclusively pump and then negotiate the bottle just so in her mouth, things got a lot better. I didn’t immediately feel like a great mom. I did at least feel better that my baby was happier.

Every mom has a different story, but we’ve all had those moments where we feel just awful. I’ve had many more moments since then like when my baby rolled off my bed, found a pair of scissors to play with, skinned her knee to pieces when she fell WHILE I was holding her hand and so much more. I have often said to my husband, “I’m such a bad mom,” and then lurched into a story about why.

Words of encouragement

Yesterday, though, a friend shared a quote on Pinterest that stopped me in my tracks a minute and got me thinking. It’s from “Unglued” by Lysa Terkeurst: “Bad moments don’t make bad mamas.” I like that way of thinking. Aside from needing to cut myself some slack (I have a lifetime of practice of being too hard on myself), I also need to change my way of thinking.

Instead of thinking, “I’m such a bad mom for losing my patience with her when she wanted to play,” I need to think, “That was a bad moment.” And then assess how I can fix it the next time that situation arises. We all have bad moments whether it’s in parenthood, at work, at home, wherever. They just happen. Life is far from perfect all the time. Life is far from happy all the time. But, bad moments really don’t make us bad people.

I suppose bad mothers exist, but the majority of us are doing the best with what we have. My own mom wasn’t perfect, but she was perfect for me. I have to believe the same is true for my children. I’m not a perfect person. I’m not a perfect mother. We’re going to have bad moments. But, I’m not a bad mother. Bad mothers don’t try. They don’t care. I try very much and care about being a mom above almost everything else. I’m hopeful that one day my children will be able to look back and know that I did my very best for them and, above all, loved them unconditionally with my whole heart.

And one of these days, I hope we can sit around together and laugh at some of the bad moments. Sometimes in hindsight things are much more humorous than they feel at the time they happen. I still haven’t been able to always employ a college professor’s theory of, “If you’re going to laugh at it later, you might as well laugh at it now.” But, I do see humor in some things now that weren’t one bit funny at the time they happened.

Maybe one day I’ll sit and joke with my daughter about how she had to figure out eating from the start. Or maybe we’ll joke about the time she rolled off the bed and survived to tell the tale. I’m guessing, though, that there are lots more bad moments that will happen between now and her adulthood that we’ll have to joke about. That’s a part of life, I suppose. And it will be all right. We’ll survive together. As long as I keep trying and keep loving her (and soon her brother), I’m pretty sure I can’t go all that wrong.

20 ways Christian moms can encourage good sibling relationships

When my husband and I talked about having kids, we talked about sibling relationships and what we wanted for our kids. Before deciding for sure to add a second child to our family, we talked about it even more. Sibling relationships can be wonderful, but they can also be complicated.

Both my husband and I have older brothers, and we have different relationships with them. From the beginning of our parenthood journey, we have worked to be intentional in encouraging grace-filled sibling relationships for our kids. We want them to be friends. Our prayer and desire is for them to be close and be able to turn to one another throughout their entire lives.

Now 9 and 12, my children do get along well. They enjoy spending time together. (And they also enjoy spending time apart!) They aren’t perfect, but all-in-all they have a good, solid relationship. They look out for each other and often, my youngest has more courage to try new things with his big sister than with anyone else, including me! My husband and I continue to be intentional about encouraging their sibling relationship and helping keep it on the right track.

So today I’m sharing 20 ways to encourage good sibling relationships based on our experiences. I even talked to my kiddos for their input for this post!

1. Remind your kids that they have each other and always will.

From the time our youngest was born, we have told our kiddos they have to stick together. Reminding your children that they have a special bod in their sibling relationship is important. Friends will come and go, but siblings will be around for most of their life. And that’s a bond to celebrate and grow. After all, as we remind our kids, nobody else in the world knows what it’s like growing up with their dad and me as parents. So they can always bond over that!

2. Don’t compare your kids to each other.

I know this can be tricky. After all, our experiences as parents rest solely on our experiences with our own children. But our kids have their own strengths and weaknesses. Comparing them to one another only serves to drive a wedge between them, and that’s not at all what we want to do. It’s difficult to not resent someone who your parents are telling you is better at something than you are. With that in mind, be careful to not compare in subtle ways either. Praise and discipline as equally and fairly as possible.

3. Speak positively about their siblings to your kiddos.

A great way to encourage good sibling relationships is by saying good things about your kids to their siblings. Of course we have grouses and gripes with our kids, but focusing on those and complaining about them to their siblings is only going to weaken that relationship. Instead, mention to your daughter how funny her brother is. Or point out to your son how kind his sister is. This helps our kids learn to look for the positive attributes in one another rather than focus on the negative ones.

4. Don’t allow negative talk between them.

When it comes to positive language, don’t allow your kids to bad-mouth each other to each other or to other people. Your kids won’t always get along (mine certainly don’t), but there’s a difference between having a disagreement and being mean to each other. We don’t tolerate name-calling and putdowns in our family, including between our children. Our kids also aren’t allowed to bad-mouth their sibling to their friends or others. Doing so only hurts that sibling relationship.

One bonus we’ve found to this rule is that our kids’ friends treat the sibling kindly also. For example, the friends of my 12-year-old daughter are kind to our 9-year-old son and even say hello to him at school whenever they see him, regardless if our daughter is around.

5. Let them have a chance to work through conflicts but step in to help resolve the conflict when necessary.

Part of teaching our kids is helping them know how to work through conflict with other people. Managing sibling conflict is a great way to start, because our family should always be our safe place. But we want to make sure conflict is resolved in a positive way. Early on, my husband and I had to help our kids with resolving conflict much more often. Nowadays, however, I hear them have a disagreement and figure out a compromise without flying off the handle. There are still times we have to step in when someone is getting frustrated, but they are learning and growing. No relationship is perfect and learning how to resolve conflict in a positive way is important.

6. Create an attitude of grace throughout your home.

One of my biggest goals as a Christian mom is to create a home filled with grace, faith and love. And that attitude of grace extends throughout the entire family. We continue to work on helping our kids learn to give grace to each other (and us as well). One of the biggest ways we have done this is practicing a small attitude shift as a family in assuming the people we love are not intentionally trying to hurt us. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt goes a long way to forging better relationships.

7. Make opportunities for family fun.

The best relationships we have are those in which we have fun together. Sibling relationships are no different. Come up with ways to have fun as a family and put your kids together in fun ways. One of my kids’ favorite things right now is planning a family yes day. We pick a day and their dad and I have to say yes to whatever they ask us (with some rules). They work together to plan a fun day, and we all giggle together. Other times, it’s small ways that we have fun like having a water balloon fight, going out for ice cream as a surprise treat and playing games together.

8. Develop your own family traditions.

We often have family traditions for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but having smaller traditions is just as important. Sometimes these traditions can look like routines. For instance, each evening before bedtime, our family gathers to pray and read. Usually we read chapter books. We’ve read through the entire Harry Potter series, part of Percy Jackson and are now nearly finished with “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” from C.S. Lewis. We know that each evening, we have 15 to 20 minutes as a family that we don’t do anything else, and we love that time! These traditions and routines help our kids feel closer to each other as well as to my husband and me.

9. Pray together as a family.

That evening time we have to pray together is great for building sibling relationships as well. We don’t go for super long prayers that are highly personal and in-depth. Instead, we talk about people we know who need prayer. In joining together in prayer for someone or something, our children’s relationship only deepens and grows in ways that matter most.

10. Have dinner together at least a few nights a week.

If you can’t manage dinner together every night, then at least make it a priority a few nights a week. During the school year, we have dinner together at the table nearly every night. During the summertime, we are a little more lax and have dinner together while watching a favorite show or movie a couple of times a week. Having that time to eat and talk about what’s going on in our lives is important and helps grows our kids’ relationship. It gives them a chance to be more involved in each other’s lives and happenings. They learn more about each other and what’s important to each other.

11. Support each other’s activities and interests.

We do our best to encourage our kids to support each other’s activities and interests. If there is a school program or performance or anything else, we expect everyone to go and be supportive of the other. This past school year, for example, our daughter was a manager of the middle school track and field team. So, her dad, brother and I showed up for and even volunteered at some of the meets. While our kids go to the same school, their concerts are on different nights. We expect them to go along for their sibling’s performance and be just as excited for them. Knowing that you sibling supports you goes a long way toward bettering your sibling relationship!

12. Pray for their relationship.

We’ve got so many things to pray about for our kids, so it might be easy to overlook praying for their sibling relationships. But don’t forget that. I have prayed from the beginning that my kids have a good, strong and healthy relationship. I want them to enjoy each other and like each other, not just love each other. So I ask God for help in growing their relationship together and guiding my husband and me to raise them in a way that draws them together rather than apart.

13. Help them grow in their own relationships with God.

It’s important to help our kids grow in their own relationships with God as well. Their relationship with God impacts every part of their lives and all of their relationships. The closer they are to God and growing in Him, the more loving and caring they’ll be with everyone — including their siblings! (Don’t miss this free printable of a parents’ prayer to help you pray for yourself as you are raising your children.)

14. Watch and listen to wholesome content.

We don’t only watch and listen to Christian entertainment, but we are careful about what our kids are exposed to. Some movies and shows just aren’t appropriate for them due to bad language, inappropriate content and wrong attitudes. The more they are exposed to those things, the more normal those things seem and the more likely they are to behave differently. If we’re watching something and see siblings working against each other, we talk about it with our kids. What should the characters have done?

And I am a huge proponent of listening to Christian music. It’s hard for me to be grumpy with the kids or for them to argue with one another when praise music is playing. Sometimes if they start getting short with each other in the car, I turn up the worship songs until they can’t help but laugh and move on. It works!

15. Promote teamwork.

We’re big on family teamwork. And family teamwork includes giving our kids a chance to work together on tasks. They may grumble sometimes while cleaning their bathroom (hey, it happens!), but in the end they feel accomplished together for what they did. Having a chance to work as a team and take pride in what they do together strengthens sibling relationships.

16. Encourage playtime together.

When our children were younger, they were more inclined to play with each other because they didn’t have much choice. Nowadays, one of our kids is old enough that she’s not as into playing while the other is still at an age where he enjoys playtime. So sometimes we require them to play together. That can look like anything from pretend play to doing art together to building something together to even watching a certain series together. The goal is to make sure our kids get time to spend together in a playful way and enjoy each other’s company.

17. Protect their time together.

Speaking of spending time together enjoying one another’s company, we must protect our kids’ time together. I’m big on not over-scheduling our kids. I want my kids to have a chance to be bored and to find their own things to do. That also means we aren’t so overscheduled that they don’t have time to be with one another. Protect their time so they can have time together as well. Having time together in positive ways is an important part of building strong sibling relationships.

18. Have one-on-one time with them.

Spending time one-on-one with your kids can strengthen their bond with each other. No matter how old they are, our kids want our attention. They want to know we are listening and paying attention to them. Making sure to find ways to have one-on-one time with them helps them not be resentful of each other seeming to get more attention at different times. Our family has found a variety of ways to do this. Right now what’s working best for us is to allow each of our kids to have 20-30 minutes of one-on-one (or two-on-one) time with us after bedtime two nights a week. We read through special books or just talk during that time.

19. Travel together.

No matter how big or small the trip, traveling together is a great way to grow family bonds and strengthen sibling relationships. We have made memories on bigger trips like to Orlando, Fla., and the Grand Canyon as well as on smaller trips like camping in a nearby state park. Even day trips and staycations count. Basically any time spent out of the daily grind works!

20. Reminisce together — even the about the crazy moments!

Take time every so often to reminisce together. I love memory photos that come up on social media or through my Google Photos. I often show them to my kids as well. Showing them things we’ve done that they’ve forgotten or how they snuggled together when they were small help them feel closer. One of the fun things about family and siblings is having memories with them that nobody else in the world has. Don’t forget to help your kids remember those moments that connect them!

What being a grace-filled parent looks like

When I learned I was pregnant with my first child, I was excited. I was also overwhelmed and nervous. Some people are just naturally great with all kids. (In fact, that same first child of mine is that way!) I was never that way. I was not sure what motherhood would actually be like, but I was excited to be part of it. Not once did I think about how grumpy I’d be with my baby. Instead, I planned to be a grace-filled parent. I planned to be calm, have a sense of humor and show lots of love.

The reality of parenthood sets in quickly. Those first few months were exhausting and an adjustment beyond anything I could ever have prepared for. Parenthood is a total upheaval of life. Added to the exhaustion is stress and pressure and it’s a perfect mix for cranky parents. But none of us what to be those cranky parents. We desire to be a grace-filled parent who is patient, caring and loving.

I’ve never been a perfect parent, just as I’m not a perfect person. I have stories about my behavior that make me cringe and feel ashamed. However, I’ve also worked (and had God work in me!) to become a more grace-filled parent. I’ve learned through my years as a mom that my kids need grace from me as much as I need grace from them. Today I’m sharing 10 lessons I’ve learned about how to be a more grace-filled parent.

1. Listen to your children.

From the time they are babies, our kids are using their voices to tell us what is going on with them. True, they start out with crying that can be perplexing. (I remember the days of trying to sort out what could possibly be making my baby unhappy when they were clean, fed and well rested and still crying sometimes!) But once they start talking and expressing themselves, we get to learn about them and their point-of-view.

Understanding where they’re coming from can help you have more patience with your kiddos and give them more grace as a result. I remember when my daughter was 3 and spilled an almost full bottle of hand soap on the hallway carpet. I was angry that she’d made a mess and didn’t understand why in the world she was carrying the soap dispenser out of the bathroom. She explained to me that she wanted to show our new Minnie Mouse soap dispenser to the Minnie Mouse toys in her bedroom. Oh my heart!

She still got in some trouble, and we definitely talked about how soap dispensers stay in the bathroom, but her punishment wasn’t as severe because I understood where she was coming from. She wasn’t just carrying around soap for no reason and trying to make a mess. Listening to her helped me understand her and address what was really going on.

2. Observe your kids.

But, kids don’t always express themselves with words. Sometimes their feelings are too big or they just plain don’t have the words. I mean, I’m just over four decades into my own life and still can struggle to find the right words to explain how I’m feeling sometimes! Sometimes we need to stop and observe our kids to figure out what is really going on with them and why they are behaving a certain way.

Recently my parents were in town for a visit. (They moved away last winter.) We made a quick trip to the grocery store for just a couple of things. My son stood in the chip aisle and argued with me for a moment about buying Cheetos. I get it. I love Cheetos, too, but I told him we had some at home and to stop being difficult. Indeed I was frustrated. Later that evening, my dad mentioned to me that my son had noticed all the rest of us had picked up some sort of snack or something to purchase and seemed to be feeling left out. It made perfect sense as I looked back on the situation. I wasn’t a very grace-filled parent in that moment, but I did at least understand my son a bit. He never said he was feeling left out; however, his actions told the story if I’d have just paid closer attention.

No matter what, of course my son shouldn’t be allowed to argue with me. If I had realized what was really going on with him at the time, though, I could have reacted differently and resolved the situation in another way. I could have suggested he pick another snack instead. Just two minutes after the Cheeto disagreement, I did concede to getting a box of Cheez-Its at my son’s request that both my kids love. His attitude disappeared after that.

3. Communicate with your kids.

Another way to be a more grace-filled parent is to communicate with your kids. Listen, my kids talk a lot. A lot. But, what I mean is to actually communicate with them. Let them know what plans are for after school or what you expect from them on an outing. Just a few sentences ahead of time can help them also understand you better and allow you both to have more patience with and grace for each other. It helps you avoid yelling at your kids or getting otherwise upset with them.

For example, as my children have gotten older, they have had more plans for what they want to do during their downtime. My daughter may be planning to come home after school and spend a couple of hours writing. Or my son might be looking forward to playing with a friend in the neighborhood when he gets home on a nice day. If I throw a wrench into their plans with an extra activity, that can lead to grumpy attitudes at the least and meltdowns at the worst. Simply communicating about plans ahead of time helps tremendously.

My husband and I also talk with our kids about why they are being punished or when we observe a behavior we don’t like. Of course there are times they get in trouble immediately, but other times we have found it’s helpful to communicate with them about why we are unhappy with what’s happened. Communication really does go a long way!

4. Know when to discipline and when to hug.

The definition of grace is not getting what you deserve. Meaning if I do something wrong, you show me kindness instead of anger. Being a grace-filled parent means that sometimes when our kids do something wrong, we let it slide or give them a hug instead of a punishment.

I mentioned in point two that my parents moved away last winter. Their move a few states away has been a big adjustment for all of us. So when they headed back out after visiting us recently and my youngest had a difficult attitude the next day, I gave him a bit of grace. He needed grace and love more than discipline in that moment.

When we are listening to and observing our kiddos, we can more easily discern when they are just out of sorts and need love and attention more than punishment.

5. Remember that you are a teacher.

One of the biggest jobs we have as parents is to be our kids’ teacher. We teach them everything they know about navigating life through our words and actions. Remembering that we are teaching them is an important part of being a grace-filled parent. Our kids are still growing and learning. If we take the time to teach them rather than just get mad at them, we’re all happier in the end.

Our goal is to help them grow and learn. Growing and learning are difficult when we’re being yelled at or in trouble. Instead, use some mistakes as teaching moments. I’ve also learned to expect that I will have to repeat myself and repeat lessons. My kids are kids. They aren’t perfect and they’re not going to always remember what to do in a moment.

6. Set realistic expectations.

When I expect more from my kids than they are capable of, then I lose my patience and my feelings of grace. One trick I’ve learned is to remind myself how old my kids are when I start to impose unrealistic expectations on them. If I stop to think that my daughter is only 12 or my son is only 9 when they mess up, then I can realize when I’m expecting them to act like adults.

I also set expectations out loud to my kids when we are going into situations. For example, if we are going to visit a friend, I remind them I expect them to help clean up toys and not give me a hard time when I say it’s time to leave. When they know what I expect of them, they are more likely to behave accordingly.

7. Guard your time.

I cannot say enough how important guarding your time is. I’m an introvert, so finding downtime comes naturally to me. Both introverts and extroverts need to be wary of overscheduling. Who can be a grace-filled parent when you are stressed out trying to get everyone in multiple places at the same time every night of the week? (Maybe some of you can, and that’s awesome. But I know I sure can’t, and I don’t think I’m alone.)

I’d rather say no to an activity than lose my patience with my kids. We started in elementary school with the rule our kids can do only one regular activity per week. That changes as they get older and can both handle more and stay up later. But it’s what works best for us, and I gladly stick to it.

8. Have fun together.

Eight months old. That’s the age that babies start getting more interactive and you can have a bit of fun with them. (Or at least that was our experience.) From that point on, find ways to have fun with your kiddos. Do things they enjoy with them and let yourself go and enjoy them, too. Now that our kids are older, we enjoy playing games together. When we go to the playground, I swing with the kiddos (unless the swings are busy or other kids want to swing). Just have fun.

We are much more inclined to give grace when our children need it when we have good feelings of making good memories with them. Find ways to sincerely enjoy spending time with your kiddos. Parenting is a lot of work and requires a lot of us, but don’t forget to enjoy moments along the way!

9. Ask for help.

Another important thing to remember about being a grace-filled parent is that you aren’t meant to do it alone. Start always with asking God for help. I pray daily to be the mom my children need. In fact, this parents’ prayer is a great place to start.

Other times you need to ask for help from those around you: your spouse, your extended family, friends and even your kids! For example, I am the one mostly in charge of laundry in our family. Sometimes I get overwhelmed, more frustrated and certainly less grace-filled when I am sitting with a pile of laundry surrounding me that needs to be folded. I’ve learned to make laundry a family chore. I get it gathered, washed and dried, then we all fold it together and everyone is responsible for putting away his or her clothes.

10. Apologize when you mess up.

Being a grace-filled parent doesn’t mean you always have it together. You aren’t perfect. Along the way, you’re going to mess up. Let your kids see what it looks like to mess up gracefully. Apologize to them when you are wrong, because sometimes you are. I have gotten short with my kids for no good reason other than being tired or cranky or whatever. And then I tell them I’m sorry. I want to model asking for forgiveness for them as well as reminding them none of us are perfect.

Looking for more grace-filled posts? Don’t miss these!

10 Tips to make your family vacation more fun for everyone!

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Ah. The family vacation. We have dreams and ideas of how it should go. We plan for happy moments, all the time. But reality is often different. Each trip I’ve been on with my family has had at least one snafu. It started immediately with the very first trip my husband and I took together. We set out for our honeymoon and were so excited, we forget to get gas. So, we ran out. In the 22 years since then, we’ve had many other vacation adventures and added two kids into the mix as well. When it comes to family travel advice, I’ve got a decent amount to help make your next family vacation more fun for everyone.

1. Talk about destination choices ahead of time with everyone.

This is one of my best tips. If you want plan a family vacation everyone will enjoy, then get everyone’s input on the trip. You need to set some parameters ahead of time for this to be successful. When it comes to family travel, my husband and I have the final say-so for our family of four. During the years we had babies through preschoolers, we didn’t ask for any input from the kids on where we went. But we did always think about what would work best for them.

As they got older, our kids were able to be part of the decision-making process. My husband and I talk ahead of time and come up with two or three trip ideas for our family. We look up general things to do in those places. Then we give the kids a presentation. Well, that sounds way fancy. We sit in the living room, give them options and use the TV to show photos or videos we find. Then as a family, we discuss what we’d most like to do.

We don’t always agree, but we do agree that the majority rules. And, honestly, we’ve not had an issue in the past. Usually we can all work around to being on board with the same trip. Because what we really want is to go on a vacation and spend time together. That’s the best family travel advice you can get: remember a family vacation is about being together more than it is about where you’re going!

If you are traveling with extended family or friends, then talk among yourselves about ideas so that everyone is on board and excited for the trip. After all, no matter how frugal you are, traveling is going to cost money. Nobody wants to spend money on a trip they dread!

2. Make lists.

I am a HUGE fan of lists. I make lists for everyday life, so making lists for family travel just makes sense to me. Each member of my family has a packing list that comes in handy. I also make a list of things we want to do, places we want to eat and where we’re staying. Keeping track of confirmation information is a great idea in case you need it when you check in.

I usually put everything together in a file folder and take it along with us, whether we are flying or driving.

The more you organize ahead of time, the less you’ll have to worry about on the trip!

In fact, I am so into organizing for trips that I put together a 30-page family travel planner you can download and use yourself. It has everything you’ll need from brainstorming before you go to collecting memories when you return, including a daily planner, travel budget planner, flight information tracker, gift planner, travel log, packing lists and pages to organize what to do, see, eat and photograph. It’s an awesome planner to help keep you organized for your next family trip. Use the Coupon Code: FWGFAN to receive 10% off!

3. Plan downtime.

Another great piece of family travel advice is to plan for downtime. We learned pretty early on that our kids love to see and do things, but they also need a break. In fact, both of them talk about how much fun they have just hanging out in our hotel room together. Be intentional about finding downtime for breaks and rest, even if your kids are past napping age.

When our kids still took naps, we did our best to make sure they were able to have a chance to nap around their usual time because it just made for happier kiddos. Now, we plan for downtime as we go. Over spring break, for instance, we traveled to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. We planned for two days in Vegas, two days at the Grand Canyon and then two more days in Vegas. The days “off” at the Grand Canyon were more laidback and restful. We all need a break. Little legs get tired from walking a lot. Little minds get overwhelmed and overstimulated.

We also sometimes institute family nap time even now. On the same spring break trip, we went to a magic show one evening. It didn’t start until 9 p.m., which was late for us, especially considering the three-hour time difference. So we planned for less activities during the day and headed to our room in the afternoon for a couple of hours to all four rest and nap. It made the evening more enjoyable.

4. Allow for flexibility.

I love to plan, but anyone who has kids knows that life can be unpredictable at best. That remains true even on family vacations. Some things we just don’t know until we’re in the moment. On the same spring break trip, we planned to go to certain hotels to see sights on our first day. We opted to go to hotels closer by where we were staying and have an early night instead because we were all tired by the afternoon. Shifting your plans is sometimes necessary. Going into your vacation with general ideas of what you want to do each day is great. But being flexible to move things around is necessary. You want everyone to enjoy the trip. Sometimes that means changing plans last minute.

5. Keep your kids’ schedule close to usual.

Schedules and routines keep our kids happy. As a schedule-oriented person myself, I’ve had a basic schedule and routines for our kids from very early on. Vacation means those schedules and routines might be changed around a bit, but the younger the kids are, the more we try and keep routines the same no matter where we are.

If you always read a book before bed, bring some along. If your kids are usual in bed by 8 p.m., then don’t plan for too many late nights. For kids who are used to a daily nap, find a way to make that happen. My kids are 9 and 12 now. They are more flexible. But I remember the days that wasn’t as true. Sometimes it meant making a sacrifice on what my husband and I wanted to do, but the days of little ones really don’t last forever. Keeping kiddos on schedule and happy makes everything better.

Nowadays, we try to keep bedtime reasonable on trips. We make sure to have meals at pretty usual times or have snacks if needed to make it through. And if we are having a late night, we plan for it ahead of time by scheduling downtime during the afternoon of that day.

6. Take along grandparents or friends.

Sometimes the best family travel advice you can have is take along others on your trip. Grandparents, siblings, other relatives or friends can make a trip more fun in multiple ways. (And I say that as an introvert who values her alone time to recharge!) Obviously babysitting is a bonus in having others along. You can trade off babysitting kids so you can have a dinner out with just your spouse. You can also save money by sharing a bigger space and splitting the cost.

In March of 2019, we took our kids to Orlando for the first time. We went to Disney World and Universal Orlando. We invited grandparents to join us. My parents did so, and it worked out even better than expected. Halfway through the week, my daughter got sick with strep throat. We immediately took her to urgent care and got antibiotics for her. Since my parents were along, they stayed back with her and we took our son to a day at Universal Orlando alone. (We had three days planned at the park and this was the first of them.) Even now, a few years later, my daughter has fond memories of that down day with her grandparents. They got her ice cream and catered to whatever she wanted. My son had a blast being the only kid picking what we did for the day. It worked well for everyone. By the next day, my daughter was well enough to join in on the fun again.

7. Ask everyone for his or her priority activities.

Before we go on a trip, we talk about things to do on the trip (see tip number 1). Once we have decided on our destination, then we start talking about what we’re going to do. We ask our kids what their priority activities are. My husband and I think about that for ourselves. Since it’s pretty much impossible to do absolutely everything you want to do, knowing what is most important to everyone on your trip helps make everyone’s trip better. You are able to make sure you do the activities your family really wants to do!

I have been surprised by what my kids prioritized. I know my kids well and think I know what will most interest them, but they surprise me sometimes! During our spring break trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, my son really wanted to go up in the Eiffel Tower at the Paris Hotel. It was one of his priorities for the trip that I didn’t really expect. It had been more at the bottom of my to-do list.

Another thing we do when we talk about everyone’s priorities is remind our kids that we are going to do fun things for everyone. We tell them we expect them to be patient and kind during all of our activities, even if it’s something they don’t necessarily want to do. Usually when that happens, though, we all end up having more fun. If one family member is beyond thrilled, then that excitement passes along to all of us.

It goes right along with one of our family’s mottos: What is good for one of us is good for all of us.

8. Have the gear you need.

You can’t offer family travel advice without talking about gear. When our kids were babies and toddlers, we had so much gear. Planning ahead really helps. Think about how your kids are going to sleep. Do you need to bring a pack-and-play and sheets? Sleeping bags? Does your kiddo need a highchair and one won’t be available (like on a camping trip)? Pack a travel highchair/booster seat.

Make sure you have enough of the supplies you’ll need to take care of little ones from diapers to burp cloths to feeding supplies. I’ve even taken along kids’ bowls and utensils before. Even now, my son takes a medicine every other day to help with reflux. He can’t swallow a pill, so I break it up into applesauce for him. Most trips, I pack some applesauce pouches (which we always have at home), disposable 2-ounce dip cups and plastic spoons so we are prepared no matter where we are.

Don’t forget to think about yourself. Aside from needing toiletries and other essentials, what do you need to make the trip more enjoyable? Sunglasses? Sunscreen? A hat? A sweatshirt? One of the best choices I made on our recent trip was buying a fanny pack. (My 1980s child self is pretty happy these have made a comeback. Though I did opt for a plain black one instead of neon pink.) We did a LOT of walking in Las Vegas, and I knew that even a lightweight purse would hurt my shoulder thanks to my fibromyalgia. The fanny pack worked great!

9. Keep a sense of humor.

Motherhood definitely requires a sense of humor, and that’s just as true on family vacations! Be sure to pack your sense of humor as well. Sometimes plans go awry or things fall apart and usually the best thing you can do about it is laugh.

During our same spring break trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, we ended up being at the West Rim of the Grand Canyon during one of the very few times a year that it snows. It snowed so much and so hard that we literally couldn’t see the Grand Canyon while we were standing beside it, shivering in our hoodies. We made the best of it and ate lunch at the restaurant. We bought a book and then hung out in our rented Jeep for a while with the heat on, reading while we waited for the weather to clear out. It wasn’t what we planned, but we kept a sense of humor. After all, how often do you get to see snow in the desert when you’re from the Midwest?!

10. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have a perfect vacation.

Even though we all know that perfect doesn’t exist, we sure do like to strive for it and put pressure on ourselves. But the best family travel advice is to just relax and remember why you’re on the trip to begin with. We travel to let our kids experience new things and to make memories together. They learn how to react gracefully when plans change and we go to plan B.

Over spring break, they saw us figure out transportation to the Grand Canyon after our first car rental fell through at the last minute. Make the best of every moment. Remember that often the best memories are made in the small moments. Let your kids experience small pleasures like sitting in bed, eating Froot Loops, watching cartoons in a hotel room. Snuggle in with them and embrace the moment. Forget the perfect vacation and settle instead for the best company you could ask for — those you love!

Planning a road trip? Don’t miss this helpful post!

8 tried-and-true strategies for being a calm parent

Nobody goes into parenthood thinking how irritated and grumpy they’ll be. We have visions of being a calm parent. But then the baby is born. You add up no sleep, a huge adjustment to taking complete care of another person and the pressure you feel on all sides and all calmness goes flying right out the window. And that’s just the early days! Parenthood is a hard gig. If anyone tells you it isn’t, they either aren’t a parent or they’re flat-out lying!

Being a calm parent is challenging, even for naturally calm folks. I think I’m a pretty naturally calm person. I don’t get angry easily. My husband is the same way. But parenthood definitely puts that to the test. We’ve failed and messed up. However, in the past 12-1/2 years of parenting, I’ve learned a few strategies that help me be a calmer parent.

1. Pray about it.

Everything starts with prayer, right? Well, at least it should. Sometimes we get off track and try to do things on our own first. It never works out so well. Even being a calm parent is something we can ask God to help us with. He blessed us with these children. He knows their hearts and our hearts. Our Father knows our challenges and struggles. He is just waiting to help us!

You can literally pray before you start the day for God to help you be a calm parent that day. I pray that God helps me to be the mom my children need each day. Calmness is included in there!

Praying in the moment is also important. I can’t say that I do this every time my irritation starts forming, but I try to pray in the moment as often as possible. Sometimes it’s just a short, “God help me to deal with this,” prayer. A bonus to that is in the time it takes me to pause for a few seconds to pray, it also breaks the momentum of my irritation.

2. Listen to the right music.

Music is powerful. I’ve shared a few times the difference that music makes in my life. The right music helps me to be a calm parent. That might sound a bit lame, but it’s true! My go-to music is contemporary Christian music. (If that’s your jam, too, check out the free Families with Grace playlist on Spotify.) Or maybe you enjoy hymns. Maybe country gospel music speaks to your heart. (I truly love all three types of music I’ve mentioned!) Whatever it is, listen to something that calms you and helps you focus on God.

In the car after school, I usually have Air1 Radio or The Message on Sirius XM playing. My kids can sing along to almost every song that comes on. When they were younger, I’d leave the kitchen radio turned on almost all the time to Christian radio. It’s really difficult to yell at or lose patience with your children when you are singing or humming along to Christian music.

Even now, I listen to it while I work most of the time. (For articles that require more concentration, I usually switch to classical.) Then even when I’m not listening to music, the songs are still running through my head. It helps me be a calmer parent.

3. Remind yourself how old your kids are.

Have your ever gotten mad at your child for acting their age? I sure have! We definitely have to teach our children how to grow and behave, but we also need to understand what they are truly capable of. For example, I’d love to tell my 9-year-old to go organize his room. But he still needs some guidance. He knows toys can’t be all over the floor and that dirty clothes go to the laundry room. However, he is 9. He also needs specific instructions for where to put some toys or reminders of the organization we helped him create for them.

My 12-year-old is mature for her age and always has been. Sometimes I have moments that I start to get irritated with her for doing something irresponsible and then I remember, she’s 12. It calms me down. I know that she is still learning. Expecting our children to act more responsible than they are able to be is only asking for trouble. We can remain a calm parent when we stop before we snap at them and remember their age.

Remembering their age helps me switch from anger and irritation to teaching mode. That’s what my kids need most anyway. Our kids need us to take time to teach them rather than just get upset with them for not doing something correctly.

4. Set reasonable expectations for your children.

I get frustrated by people who don’t do their jobs well. We’ve all had times when we had to do a task we shouldn’t have had to do because someone slacked off. When someone doesn’t do the job we expect them to do, it is incredibly frustrating.

The same is true with our kids. When we set expectations for what we’ve asked them to do, we get frustrated when they don’t follow through. Sometimes it is completely their fault, and they didn’t do what they are fully capable of doing. Those times, they need to have consequences. Other times, though, we expect them to do a better job than they are able to do. Before we start getting upset we need to be sure we have reasonable expectations for what our children can and should be able to do.

Over the weekend, my kids were working together to clean up after dinner like I had asked them to. My youngest didn’t complete his task completely. My daughter started to just sigh and do it for him. I stopped her and we showed him how to complete the task. It was a win-win, because now he knows how to do the task and we can expect he can do it in the future. And nobody got upset in the process.

5. Take a breather.

It’d be nice to say that if you use these strategies you will always be a calm parent. But that’s not true, because you’re human and so are your children. Some days are hard when you’re exhausted and your children seem to find every button you have and push it over and over and over and over. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is take a breather.

If your children are babies or toddlers, this may mean just putting them in their crib for 5 minutes while you go to another room and just pause. (Been there, done that!) If you have preschoolers, this may mean you sit them down with a 20-minute show and you don’t interact. For older kids, you can send them to their rooms or tell them you need time alone for a few minutes.

I’ve sometimes taken an extra couple of minutes switching out or hanging up laundry just for a breather. Taking a couple of minutes away from the moment can help you calm down. Add in some deep breathing and prayer time and it works even better.

6. Ask for help.

You weren’t made to parent alone. Asking for help is OK. I was fortunate when my children were small that both my parents and in-laws lived within a few minutes of us and loved having time with grandkids. I utilized that help. If you don’t have that, maybe you have a friend you could trade off babysitting with.

Don’t forget to ask your spouse for help as well. Nope. It shouldn’t be the case that one of you is “helping” the other when you’re both in this together. But at the same time, your spouse doesn’t know what you need without you asking. Sometimes my husband has noticed my need for time away before I have. He’ll encourage me to go to our room or leave the house or whatever I need to do to regroup. Other times, I ask him to take over so I can have a minute. The same has been true in reverse.

Sometimes to be a calm parent, you have to ask for help and get away from it all — even just for 20 minutes in the shower alone. Other times to be a calm parent, you need someone to take items off your to-do list and fold the two loads of laundry sitting by the dryer. Just ask!

7. Try to embrace an attitude of gratitude.

Nothing impedes our calmness like getting angry with our family. Sometimes we get angry because of all we have to do for them that they don’t seem to appreciate. I’ve struggled with this before and still do from time to time. Have you ever had a thought starting with “Why does nobody else around here ever….?” Then you know what I’m talking about.

Yes, our families need to pull their weight. We shouldn’t let chores go undone or do them all ourselves. However, shifting our perspective helps alleviate anger and, in turn, makes us a calmer parent. For example, as you’re conquering that ever-growing pile or laundry, take a moment to thank God for the family you have who wear those clothes. Start adding in other things, too, like thanking Him for the clothes themselves and the ability to wash them in a washing machine.

It may be cliché, but once we start counting our blessings, we calm down. Our attitude shifts and we are more at peace.

8. Apologize when you lose your cool.

Chances are really good that you aren’t going to be a calm parent all the time. I’m certainly not. Sometimes our children need us to not be calm to get a point across. Other times, they don’t deserve our wrath. And it’s those times that we need to go back to our children and apologize. It’s a learning moment for our kids and helps us remember the lesson we learned as well.

Our children learn nobody is perfect, how to apologize when we mess up and that love covers it all. We have a memorable moment in feeling bad about acting out of anger so we are more likely to stop ourselves before doing so again. Simply saying “I’m sorry for how I reacted” goes a long way.

Find more resources to help you be a calm parent in these posts as well:

Take your family on a fun, food truck adventure with God!

Affiliate links are used in this post, if you make a qualifying purchase via my link, I receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products and services I use and love. It helps support my blog, so thank you for your support! Read my full disclosure here. I was given a free copy of the book “The Bible Food Truck” to review; all opinions are my own.

I love food, God and books. Something that combines all three makes this mama happy! “The Bible Food Truck” by Vanessa Myers does just that. I’m excited to not only be part of the blog tour promoting this, but to also review the book and give away a copy! Super exciting stuff!

I first connected with Vanessa through a Christian blogger group back in 2019 when I shared about her family devotion book, “Breakfast with Jesus.” This time I am partnering with her again to tell you about her latest family devotion book, “The Bible Food Truck.” She sent me a copy of the book for me to peruse ahead of time and it’s pretty great.

The theme

“The Bible Food Truck” serves up 75 food-themed devotions for kids. Myers said when she started putting the book together, she had no idea how many Bible verses talked about food! While she didn’t cover them all, the book works its way from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Each devotion has a focus verse, called “God’s Daily Special,” that talks about food.

The devotions are done well for families. Food might be the underlying theme, but God is the overall focus. And that’s just what a family devotion book should be.

Devotion details

Each devotion has a focus verse and also suggested further reading in the Bible. Then “The Bible Food Truck” talks about the passage in a fun, child-centered way. Myers gives facts and information kids will love while also bringing the focus always around to God. The devotions are a good length — neither too short nor too long.

A “Faith To-Go” section is part of each devotion as well. I love these practical suggestions for ways kids can serve God, tell others about Him and grow in their faith.

As a mom of two and long-time children’s ministry director, Myers knows children learn well being hands-on. So throughout “The Bible Food Truck,” children complete various tasks to create their own food truck idea by the time they make it to the end. They think about what they’d serve, to whom, the name of their food truck, the Bible verse to represent their food truck, what their logo would be and much more. It’s a fun and creative way to get kids involved and excited.

Get your own copy

Whether you want to go through “The Bible Food Truck” as a family or let an older child go through it solo, you’ll want to pick up your own copy. The book is for sale exclusively on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback formats. Bulk pricing options are also available for children’s ministry groups.

You can also enter for a chance to win your own copy of “The Bible Food Truck” now through 12 a.m. EST on April 5, 2022. I know! It’s exciting!

To enter, you MUST “like and follow” Families with Grace on Facebook. You can earn up to two extra entries by following Families with Grace on Pinterest and signing up for the Families with Grace email list. You don’t have to be new to Families with Grace to qualify. Just complete the form.

I will announce the winner on Facebook and Instagram on April 5, 2022 at 2 p.m. EST. The winner will receive the book through postal mail. It is open to residents of the United States only. Enter here or scroll down and click the button to enter through the Rafflecopter website.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Connect with the author

Vanessa Myers is passionate about teaching God’s Word to children. She loves writing books for kids as well as blogging about children’s ministry. Her website has more information about her, including links to other resources from her, that are designed to equip families on their faith journeys.

Head over to Dede Reilly’s website on April 4 to find the next stop on “The Bible Food Truck” blog tour!