Beyond the vows: To love and to cherish

“Beyond the vows” is a new series about what marriage relationships actually look like once the wedding is over and life happens. Learn more about the series and how you can share your own story here!

Taylor Lee, from Accomplished Family, is sharing her story of learning what it means to love and to cherish her husband for the “Beyond the vows” series. You’re going to be blessed by her story!

I had found the man I was supposed to marry at an early age, even though it took me a few years to realize that. He was kind, sweet and had the best sense of humor. I was broken, full-of self-doubt and lost.

Every time I broke up with him, he was always right there when I decided to run back into his arms. He was crazy about me, and I was forever scared to put all my eggs into one basket.

He wasn’t perfect. Each time I would find a flaw I would distance myself from him and tell myself he was not the guy. I let him go again and again.

I would find temporary boyfriends. Once I realized that they weren’t the match for me, I would find myself reaching back out to my favorite guy.

Despite all the times that I would break up with him, he was always there for me when I needed a friend. I finally got smart and asked him to take one more chance with me. I knew as well as he did that it was a gamble.

I might’ve been finicky, but I absolutely loved him. Always had!

Love wasn’t the problem.

In time I figured out how to show that love. Things were good.

However.

It took me years to figure out the importance of cherishing him. Love simply isn’t enough when getting into a marriage.

Love isn’t going to keep the fire going.

Understanding that you care about the person you married isn’t enough either.

Love isn’t going to get you through the hard times.

Cherishing your significant other is the key to making your marriage last.

We found this out the hard way.

Although we cared for each other, we didn’t work at it. We simply said the words, but there was a heavy lack of action behind the love. There was no push on either end for us to communicate with each other; our marriage suffered because of it.

They say that the first year is hard. They are right!

In a few short months we were ready to call it quits. We seemed to be two totally different people, and a divorce sounded like a better solution.

Ultimately, it took him moving out for both of us to realize that we needed each other. It wasn’t enough that we loved each other.

You can love but if you don’t put in the time to take care of someone, they start to understand that they aren’t worth your time.

Although it took some time for both of us to realize, we are now stronger than ever before.

We take time to talk to each other, and we work to strengthen our relationship.

We flirt with each other — even between the work, school and two children. We always make time for each other, even though our dinner and movie have now switched gears to our living room rather than a night out.

Sometimes you don’t realize how much you need to grow until things happen, and you must make a change to make it work.

If you love him, you must work on that love all the time.

Knowing that you love him is only half of it. You must work on showing him through your actions that you love him, and you must love yourself enough to expect him to do the same for you.

Things aren’t always going to be blue skies and rainbows, but if you work at it, it will continue to flourish. Love each other through and through.

Think of everything that he does for you, what you do for him and how you can spend time together to make it a great life.

Take time as often as you can to spend time together. Don’t just sit on your phones in the same room. Actually put the phones down, look into each other’s eyes and communicate.

Share your dreams and aspirations with each other. This will help you to grow together instead of just trying to make it through the day, day after day, year after year, and then, when the kids are grown wondering, “Who are you?”

If you take the time, you will feel the love. It’s been five years for us, and I sincerely look forward to everyday with him. Be thankful for the man you married. Love him. Cherish him. He’s worth putting the phone down for.

Learn more about the “Beyond the vows” series and how you can share your own story here!

Find other articles from the series:

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