Team marriage

Last month, my husband and I celebrated our 19th anniversary. I have been thinking about the girl I was 19 years ago. I have thought about what I would go back and say to that 20-year-old girl who was finishing all the last-minute tasks. And I’ve decided, I wouldn’t say much more than just enjoy every minute of it! Because, not much else matters on a wedding day — or at least it shouldn’t.

In the years since then, my husband and I have been through many things. Our hearts have been shattered and broken into millions of pieces together. We have mourned and wept together. We have comforted each other through the darkest of nights. We have sat in silence just being beside each other in times when there were no words to express the hurt and pain.

But we have also cried tears of joy together. We have welcomed two babies into this world. We have celebrated with our friends. We have enjoyed playing games together. And I couldn’t even begin to list all the times we have laughed together. Through all of the ups and downs, we have done our best to keep our sense of humor. It has sustained us. Many times when left with the choice to laugh or cry, we have chosen laughter.

Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

We were young when we got married and people loved to tell us how hard it would be. Looking back, I’d say they are wrong. We have had hard times, but being married didn’t make anything harder. In fact, it is quite the opposite. We are a team together. We hold each other up when we can’t stand otherwise.

Still other people told us that being so young, we still had a lot of growing and changing to do, so we should wait. And they were right in one sense. We are not the same people today that we were back when we were 20 and 22. We have changed and grown together. I am a better person today than I was then because of my husband. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. He not only makes me want to be a better person but also makes me a better person for his love and the accountability he brings. I’d like to think I have helped him be a better version of himself as well.

I have no idea what the next 19 years will bring. Just like 19 years ago today, I thought I knew what might be coming. But life is unpredictable. We’ve had experiences I would never have believed on my wedding day. And I’m guessing the next 19 years will include some of those types of things again. That’s how life works. But, I know that whatever life brings, we will face it together. We will be a team. We will laugh as much as we can. We will keep our eyes and hearts focused on each other and God — and that’s what matters most.

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